I've always struggled a bit with social media. I feel like most platforms allow me to post pictures of whatever artwork I've created, but offer no space for me to really talk about it in-depth. As both an artist and a writer, something about throwing an illustration out to the void in a space where there's no room or environment to discuss it in any meaningful way, I think, always dissuaded me from regular engagement. And, of course, you can't cultivate a community if you don't engage with it--so it was often a self-perpetuating cycle of disengagement and isolation which I'm used to but is hardly ideal. My girlfriend suggested I try starting up a blog on tumblr, and explained to me how some of the features have changed over the years, so Tumblr might appeal to me more than other spaces. So, I've decided to try giving it my best shot.
I've always known about tumblr, but never had an actual space set up here because, I guess, I didn't really understand how everything worked when I was younger and never felt like I had anything worthwhile to say. It was also difficult because I wanted things to be organized--have a blog be about one kind of topic (writing, or art, or a special interest that I could talk about endlessly) but not quite overlapping any of those specific subjects in a cluttered and incohesive mess that would be difficult for an onlooker to follow or engage with consistently. My partner said that I could manage multiple blogs on one account, so I no longer had any excuse not to start lol
So, here, on the Art Endeavors of Arma (Arma being the shorthand term I use for The Armamentalist, which is generally going to be the handle I use for online spaces), is where my mates and I will post artwork, give in-depth explanations and discussions about whatever we created, and hopefully can engage with other people to create conversation and discussion.
For my first post, it seemed fitting that I put up an illustration I made last month, since I'm quite proud of it and have a lot to say about it.
So, as I've already established--I'm an artist. For years, now, I've been doing commissioned artwork, but largely my clientele has extended only so far as my friends (close and distant). I want to try to make a career out of my art instead of it just being a hobby, and was told that VGen was a good place to find clients and get work. So, for the past few months, I've been entering their art competitions hoping to win and get an artist code so I can set up my shop there. I'd thought, in my hubris, "I know I'm a good artist, surely I'll be able to win in one of the competitions and get a code."
My experiences so far have been humbling.
I suppose it has just been one of those reminders, to me, that when it comes to competitions--to "succeed", you need to get the most votes and appeal to as many people as you can. As a autistic person, trying to guess what most people want to see is something I struggle with. The competitions offer a vague prompt that you have to work into your art, and that's it--there's no other specifics, which allows for a great deal of creative freedom but also doesn't let me know what people are hoping to see, so I'm left to make art for myself instead of a specific other person (freedom? Tragic, I know). But, also, when I make art for myself--I'm making it for myself. I like emotional turmoil in writing, I like stories that crush my heart and soul. I enjoy horror. I like dark visuals, disturbing themes, political or social commentary, and art that makes me feel something--just as I think most people do. But, of course, I don't know that what I want to create is necessarily what most people might enjoy looking at in a competition. When I've made my submissions in the past, I've tried to do art that I thought other people would enjoy, too, but in the end, mostly focused on whatever appealed to me most in that moment. I find that's when I make my best work--and since the competitions aren't products being sold, at the end of the day, the end art piece is for me, regardless if it wins any rewards. As it should be.
In February, the VGen's competition prompt was "Rose". I didn't really know what to do with that. I could illustrate an OC with a rose in their hair, or maybe someone holding a rose. That might be nice. Perhaps a character lying in a bed of roses--though roses grow in bushes, and I'd already made an art piece like that, before, years ago and didn't have too much muse to recreate the piece. The ideas all felt kind of generic--which was fine, but I wasn't really happy with any of the concepts. I thought about maybe making a ballerina (it's been years since I've drawn one) whose tutu resembled a rose. Maybe Rue from Princess Tutu, she felt like a good aesthetic choice for the prompt.
But when I started making sketches, I wasn't really happy with how they were looking--and decided to abort the project. I sometimes like flat art pieces--sometimes having something a bit more static makes it feel more like an art piece. A picture-perfect frame, something posed and poised and balanced--but distant, in a kind of way. Like looking at stained glass, or a medieval-era illustration of a knight fighting a snail. I don't usually make character sheets, but also often don't go all-out with my artwork because, usually, my focus is on the character I'm drawing and not their environment or surrounding setting. Sometimes I'd do simple environments to support or frame the character, but it was never anything I'd really impressed myself with. When I was making this ballet piece, I could kind of feel that it was going to turn out similar to a hundred other things I've drawn before--not bad, at all. Perhaps something I'd even be proud enough to show off. But hardly something I'd challenged myself with. And I want to challenge myself, instead of going with whatever I find easiest. I knew I was already going into it with the wrong attitude.
Last year, I'd started to get back into doing some more traditional art--acrylic paintings, mostly (which I will probably post on here sometime). I'd decided I wanted to start working on making my digital artwork feel more like the kind of art I'd see hung up on a wall, and challenge myself in the areas I knew I struggled with.
Backgrounds and settings, mostly. I've historically always kept my backgrounds quite simple--and there's nothing wrong with that. Again, largely, my artwork so far has mostly been for myself, and my interest was more on illustrating my characters and bringing them to life, focusing on them, their expressions, their movement and clothing and all of those other things--but I rarely illustrated scenes or settings. Making physical paintings has always helped me challenge that--since I generally like to fill up the canvas with a full setting--but it's something I've largely only done with physical paintings, and rarely ever my digital ones. I'd do it with pen and paper, but not really on a tablet and screen. The process felt different--more difficult, to me. I don't think most people realize how much overlap there is with traditional and digital mediums, but just like when working with watercolors or ink--they are different, and each comes with its own set of challenges.
Last year I wanted to grow in that way--challenge myself and start making more digital pieces that felt like full, fleshed-out, artistic paintings that have more to it than just the character being placed in front of the audience. The kind of thing that could be hung up on a wall. With the VGen art challenges, I decided it was a good place to start getting that practice in. And, with February's prompt of "Rose", I was struggling to come up with an idea that fit into all of my desired parameters. Fulfilling the prompt, something that would be a full scene, something that interested or appealed to me thematically, something that would challenge me, something that other people might also enjoy enough to vote for. I was really struggling with coming up with something, and didn't have confidence in any of my ideas--and didn't want to half-ass anything, either. I'd had half a mind just to not submit anything last month and hope the next month's prompt inspired something more in me.
But I'd seen some resurfacing of artwork some people had made of Barbie: The Princess and the Pauper. A digital painting of the two characters that looked like a classical oil painting you'd see in a museum. I'd always loved art like that--taking classical pieces and using them as reference points for modern characters or stories. Zelda knighting Link in a reimagining of "The Accolade" by Edmund Blair Leighton, or a recreation of "God Speed" by the same artist with Zelda and Link as the new subjects there, also. I love that kind of thing--and I have enough confidence in my skills, now, that I thought I might attempt something like it, myself.
And that's when the gears started to turn, for me.
You know what I love? What I really love?
The Evillious Chronicles by Akuno-P. Specifically, the Daughter of Evil, and the Servant of Evil. I was obsessed with those songs in 2012, and arguably still am, today. And for those who are familiar with the songs--I'm sure I don't need to remind you.
Riliane, the "Daughter of Evil", is frequently referred to as an "evil flower" whose thorns choke out her kingdom, until she eventually meets her fate at the hands of an angry rebellion. She would be my "rose". She has always been associated with roses. Her execution? I immediately thought back to "The Execution of Lady Jane Grey" by Paul Delaroche--a beautiful classical painting that has always stuck with me. What if I recreated that painting--but with Riliane as the subject?
So, that's what I did. During the month of February, I worked on this piece.
I decided to first make the painting in black and white. I'd learned some artists would do this to focus on the values and allow the lighting and shading to carry their painting more than color choices necessarily, and afterward they'd add color on top but in doing so, it allowed the underpainting to shine through. Underpaintings are sometimes monochrome, sometimes washed over in a certain color to provide a general tone to the overall painting, and things of that nature.
For this particular style of digital art--I treated it much the same as I treat my traditional acrylic paintings (i'm too poor to get into oil right now </3). I create one layer, and just paint on it. Sketches , lines, reference points, and constant adjusting of the greyscale tints and values--all on the one layer. There isn't a linework layer--I buried it under paint, hours ago. The brush I used would blend with anything beneath it, so it felt similar to when I was working with real paint. I had to work to build up opacity, it would blend with anything I lightly brushed over otherwise. But more than anything--I was focusing on values. Values, values. Without any color, it forces you to focus on shades. I can't differentiate his hand from hers by giving them different colors or a nice line to separate them, I have to emphasize the soft shadow of his hand overtop her arm, the gentle roll of darkness overtop her sleeve where his hand blocks out the access from light. Light hitting the bones in her hand, highlighting the knuckles, or joints, or calloused palms. When you can't rely on linework to separate people, skin, or fabric--emphasis on shadow and shading does the trick. Then, once the underpainting is completed, you can go over it with color--traditionally, this is done with a light layer of paint. Digitally, you usually have to change the settings of the new layer to "overlay", so it only changes the hues and not the actual values of the color.
In the end, I finished with this piece.
I honestly don't care if it wins the competition or not. Obviously I still want to get verified somehow, but I'm so proud of this piece that it's what made it a worthwhile pursuit, for me. I learned a lot, watched myself grow and develop in a technique I'd struggled with, before, and found myself thriving. It's been weeks, and I'm still enthralled with how this turned out--and part of me wants to keep going with the trend of recreating famous art pieces with more modern characters inputted. I probably will make more pieces like this, in the future.
Anyway, thank you all for coming to my blog post and if you've made it to the end, thank you for taking the time to read what I have to say and learning a bit about me and this piece I created. I hope to share more with you all in the future.
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