Concept Awesome

Hi. I'm Queenie. I blog predominantly about asexuality-related stuff. I also blog over at The Asexual Agenda, and run Resources for Ace Survivors. See my about page if you actually want to sort of know things about me. Anyway, hi. (Please note that this is not an advice or 101 blog. Check the FAQ for rules about asks.)

[queenieofaces]

The 2025 Ace Community Survey is now open

It’s that time of year again – we are now recruiting participants for the Ace Community Survey! The Ace Community Survey is run by the Ace C

It's that time of year again!

[aceadmiral]

Translation: “The Quoiromantic Manifesto” by Nakamura Kasumi

Today I have a special treat: an English translation of an academic article about this history and positioning of the term “WTF/quoiromantic

[aceadmiral]

The Story of The Split: a zine about ace community history

Story of The Split is a zine about ace community history and a breakdown in community memory that has kept many people in the dark about the

Happy Ace Week! Here is a zine with some community history :)

[queenieofaces]

Hiii! How are you? So, recently i started researching about aroace because after ending my only real romantic relationship i started realizing a lot and questioning a lot of what it means... At first I was like 'nah I can't be because I've felt romantic an sexual attraction' but then... I started to think about it more and it fluctuates, i need some kind of connection to get romantic feelings, it's limites or infrequent or I kind get a "crush" but it doesn't goes beyond that unless I start to feel some type of connection with that person. But sometimes I doubt if it's really romantic attraction or just wanting a romantic relationship. For the little I've read I think some that the one's I relate the most are demiromantic, grayromantic, aroflux and maybe cupioromantic? Idk idk can i be more than one? Does that makes sense?. For ace I still haven't look really much into it, but demisexual makes sense, but well idk I'm still confused bc I never thought about myself in the aroace spectrum but now a lot of stuff it's clicking. Do you have some recs to where to learn more about and try to figure it out? I'm kinda struggling because there's a lot of identities and it's quite overwhelming... And I hought my identity crises were over lol. But I think realizing I am a lesbian and not bi was less difficult haha. Well, anyways, thanks a lot!

Hi! I explicitly don't answer these types of questions, so my answer is going to be very brief. Yes, you can be more than one--I know plenty of folks who use multiple labels. Labels are tools to help you communicate, and sometimes more than one is helpful. Here are some Asexuality 101 resources (also links to some Aromanticism 101 resources in there) to get you started. All of my linkspams are very old at this point, and thus missing more recent stuff and may be plagued by linkrot, but maybe you'll find some of the pieces in this linkspam on greyness helpful. There's also this (decade-old....) linkspam on demisexuality. Maybe folks following me have more up-to-date linkspams to share as well.

Good luck, anon! I hope you get some clarity in your identity explorations soon. ♧

[queenieofaces]

Have been informed that I have been volunteering at [current offline activism location] long enough to be considered a regular and thus be eligible for a fancy rainbow lanyard name card. This news was delivered with the correct amount of both wild excitement and gravitas.

[queenieofaces]

was tabling at a family-friendly Pride event today, which meant we were swarmed with many, many small children* who of course wanted Pride flags (we were offering them for free at our table), but all of them were picking Pride flags based fully on vibes with no idea of what they meant, so I now offer for you:

Pride flag rankings, as determined by small children who were picking based entirely on vibes

classic rainbow Pride flag

bi flag

abrosexual flag

trans flag

lesbian flag

ace flag

all other flags (aka none of the kids grabbed any of them while I was working my shift)

*I would estimate that the majority of the kids we saw fell in the 3-7 range

[queenieofaces]

My blog is apparently now a teenager. Frightening.

[aceadmiral]

A Detailed Examination of Amatonormativity

So, I don’t make it a secret that I have for a long time been interested in how asexuality is positioned relative to and intertwined with ot

Luckily, last year I got my hands on 結婚の自由—「最小結婚」から考える (Marriage Freedom: Essays Inspired by Minimizing Marriage), an anthology of chapters responding to or inspired by Elizabeth Brake’s work, and [...] I would like to share with you some of what Dr. Kubota has to say so that one can easily understand the constituent parts that make up amatonormativity.

You know, when this book first arrived in the mail, I did a quick little flip-through to get an idea of the structure of the book and what have you, and to see that all of the overly detailed tables were in the last chapter?? Absolute torment.

But I forced myself to read the chapters in order (not necessarily required for this book, after chapter 1), and it did keep me on track as I pushed through the difficult concepts (Derrida 💀) to get to that promised reward... of delicious, delicious theoretical models in delectable chart format.

A very happy ace week indeed 💜

[aceadmiral]

The 2024 Ace Community Survey is now open

It’s that time of year again – we are now recruiting participants for the Ace Community Survey! The Ace Community Survey is run by the Ace C

[queenieofaces]

I swear, my students this semester are going to make me either combust from emotions or have to write a post about queer mentorship because so far I've got:

student who asked about my ace ring

student who came to office hours to talk about gender, because they're trying to figure out their own gender and they thought I would have helpful things to say

student who said he was really grateful to have an openly non-binary professor because it means that he can see a model for what his future might look like

student who keeps dropping by office hours to talk about being a QPoC (and having to deal with racism in queer spaces)

all the students who just casually come out to me in office hours (god. I know that the world has changed so much since I was in college, but what a gift regardless)

and then of course the two separate students who have asked me for help with their D&D campaigns, which is honestly the funniest possible read of me

[queenieofaces]

had a student approach me after lecture to ask if my ring was an ace ring today, which A. delightful (they wanted to know where I got mine because they are in the market for one) and B. happens a LOT less frequently than you would expect

[queenieofaces]

A question from one of my students: do folks have surveys or censuses of queer* communities and/or experiences that they particularly like or think are well-designed? I have already sent a couple their way (Ace Census, of course), but if there are any others that stand out to folks...

*expansively defined--either of queer communities as a whole or specific subsets of identities/experiences is fine

[queenieofaces]

one of my students told me I had "aro ace vibes" today and I literally didn't know how to respond

[queenieofaces]

なんか IWAKAN！ - Ep.19「WTF！恋愛と友情を区別する必要ある？」ゲスト：関根麻里恵

IWAKAN編集部3人とゲストの関根麻里恵さんが、「クワロマンティック」について議論します。IWAKANにもゲスト編集者として参加してくださった研究者の関根麻里恵さん。IWAKAN5号でも取り上げていた "クワロマンティック" って一体何ですか？なぜ社会は友情と恋愛を区別するの？

Have been listening to 『なんか IWAKAN!』, which is a Japanese gender studies/queer podcast recently, both with an eye on a course I'm designing for next semester and as some chill listening practice for me, so this morning at 8:30 am I was jumpscared by them suddenly starting to talk about クワロマンティック (quoiromantic).

It's interesting listening, for anyone who happens to speak Japanese. One of the really striking things about it for me was how little they seemed to associate quoiromantic with ace or aro communities. Part of that is probably demographic--of the four people on this episode, one said they were probably ace and the other three are not--but it does mean that the conversation goes in different directions than a lot of the wtfromantic/quoiromantic conversations I have seen in Anglophone communities. For example, they spend a lot of time talking about how quoiromantic is helpful because many of them never thought about the difference between romantic and sexual orientation--but quoiromantic in Anglophone communities is often a pushback against romantic orientation. (Also, a lot of the examples that the regular presenters bring up would, in Anglophone ace communities, often tend to be classed as mismatched romantic and sexual orientations, e.g. a gay man having strong non-sexual attraction to a female friend or a straight woman having strong non-sexual attraction to a female friend.) There's also discussion of polyamory and alternative family/relationship structures, romantic friendship, the assumption that two people who have the possibility of being attracted to each other will always wind up dating, and S関係 (S relationships). It is really interesting to see a lot of conversations that I've seen primarily in ace communities being picked up and lauded as useful by larger queer spaces...but (at least in this case) being sort of divorced from a lot of their history and context. But, then again, it's a 40-minute podcast that's a supplement to a special issue of their magazine and an in-person event they were running, so they probably couldn't cover all possible topics. (Also I personally know most of the coiners and popularizers of wtfromantic/quoiromantic, so I may have...more knowledge...than is normal...)

(Also very charming when the guest speaker is like, "oh, can I swear on this show, do you have to bleep it out" and then upon getting confirmation that swearing is okay, going, "WHAT THE FUCK ロマンティック.")

[gendercensus]

Japanese Gender Census now open!

「日本語版ジェンダー調査2023」をとっています。よろしければ回答お願いします。

forms.gle/LFH3ZLxwjF6PGiZB9

English translation: I am taking the "Japanese Gender Survey 2023". Please answer if you would like to participate.

Source!

[queenieofaces]

new surreal experience unlocked: a student tried to explain the concept of a queerplatonic partnership to me

[queenieofaces]

Hey, I read your posts all the time back when you were more active and I was figuring myself out. Just wanted to say: Thanks, and I hope whatever you're up to now is going well. :)

Hi, anon! Thank you for your lovely note! I'm really glad that my posts were helpful for you.

I'm doing...okay-ish these days! Started a new job as a professor, so I'm currently recovering from last semester/feverishly prepping for next semester, thus the continued radio silence. I am very tired all the time these days, but what else is new. There are a couple of posts that have been stewing in my mind for...literal years at this point, but we'll see if/when they manifest. (I am figuring out how to get involved in the queer mentorship program at my uni, and have connected with my local ace meet-up, although am currently too wiped to make the trek to meet-ups during the semester.)

Anyway, thank you for dropping me a line, and I hope that you're having a lovely day. ♣️