Call Him Up On My Pink Flip Phone

Go throatzilla on his dick like woahh

[tyashj]

[cottoncandiescupcakes]

The weirdest thing about the Chamber of Secrets movie is that it low key implies Snape now has TWO vain blonde rich dudes he's secretly fucking

Not one

Two

Why tf is he taking Lucius as his plus one soccer mom to that match, smiling at him and why is Lockhart flat out IN HEAT for him and then Snape makes this face

[klien2000]

Diamonds are a girl's best friend~~ pucha puchero ioq n,,, I don't think ill finish this again heh...

[brushbanshee]

It's sooo late and insomnia/sickness is kicking my ass.. So have a Daddy Lucius Malfoy sketch 💚

I legit love drawing the snake head on that cane, it's too much fucking fun

[queenluciusgaga]

Miss Lucylicious Malfoy about to go and release the Dark Lord’s sex tape before snorting a few lines of coke and hitting the muggle clubs xx 💋

https://archiveofourown.org/works/77830376/chapters/203905426

[sosashawtyy]

[iamnmbr3]

Harry most times that he sees a Veela: lol why is everyone acting so weird?

Harry when he sees Cedric: Omg he's so handsome and good looking and attractive.

Harry when he sees young Sirius: How is he this fit without even trying?

Harry when he sees Tom Riddle: Damn. Credit where credit it due. An 11 has entered the room.

Harry when he sees Draco: That soft, gleaming, sleek blond hair tho. Those glittering, pale grey eyes tho. I hate him. But like. I can see.

JK Rowling: I have written a heterosexual protagonist.

Me: Have you tho?