B A N A N A S !

hey missy! Missy Saxon. Queen of Evil. Guidance Counsellor at Coal Hill. Lover of chaos. Mostly harmless.

[queenofcoalhill]

Temporary Permanence || Amy/Missy

Wearing a grin on her lips and a shopping bag on her arm, Missy skipped down the hall towards Amy’s flat. Perks of being in with the Headmistress? Easy access to faculty files. Which, on some level Missy could admit was a bit morally grey on her part, but she was sure her new bestie wouldn’t mind the invasion. And if she did? Well that would probably be just as fun, wouldn’t it?

With her usual dramatic flare, Missy knocked a tune against the hard wood, before announcing her presence verbally -- loud and proud, “HELLO -- new bestie! It’s ME. Missy!” She paused, eyeing the bag on her arm. “I’ve brought whiskey.” 

And another surprise, butt that would have to wait until she was on the other side of the door. 

“OPEN UP!”

@sunflowersinhistory

[themanwhoneverstopsrunning]

Old enemies

@queenofcoalhill

“So, old girl, managed to behave while I was away? Nobody set on fire? Nobody poisoned? Everybody still alive? Mental health of the students still more of less intact?”

[queenofcoalhill]

“Yes,” Missy deadpanned, completely unamused by Chris’ antics, “Miraculous, isn’t it? I was able to go a whole month on good behaviour without your watchful eye. Almost seems like you’ve wasted your youth chasing a mad woman who doesn’t quite tip the scale as far as you thought, eh?”

[sunflowersinhistory]

ATTENTION:

[sunflowersinhistory]

John, you’re ridiculous. And not at all subtle. Still not sorry. It’s not my fault you don’t know how to talk to someone like a human being.  

Clara, gonna agree with Missy and John – we don’t need a bloody sit down.  

Missy, bloody right we do.  

[queenofcoalhill]

See Clara, I’m right!

That’s right babe, you and me! Me and you! Both of us TOGETHERRRRR! 

We should get matching tattoos. 

[sunflowersinhistory]

ATTENTION:

[justsaygeronimo]

Oh, look. Now see what you’ve done, Amelia!   

No sit down, needed. Don’t with the Rory, Clara. He’s apparently off limits to talk about. As is Halloween, don’t ask about that either. See, nothing to talk about. 

[missbosswald]

John…

Talk please. 

[queenofcoalhill]

Oh -- talk, talk, talk. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. It’s always talking with you, isn’t it? This is not an afternoon special, Clara. It’s a spat between friends. You can’t fix it by pulling out your puppy dog eyes. 

My offer for replacement Bestie still stands. 

[sunflowersinhistory]

ATTENTION:

[sunflowersinhistory]

That’s a start, John. Want to keep going? I would have done this privately, but like I said. You’ve been actively avoiding me.  

What!?

[justsaygeronimo]

There’s nothing to talk about. I’ve been busy.   

Oh, shut up. 

[queenofcoalhill]

Oi! You! Chinny Face. Shut it. 

And you! Ginger one -- I’LL be your new Bezzie. Us Scots need to stick together. 

[coalhilldrharper-blog]

“Oi! You know what’s really rude,” Owen said after swallowing the bite of apple he had in his mouth. “Comin’ back to work after a bloody YEAR and the only party bein’ had is in the old bloke’s shed,” he said with a shake of his head.

“All right Doctor, looks like the party has arrived. Make room,” he joined the crowd at the caretaker’s door. Honestly, it looked like a bit of fun and he never did mind the old man much. He thought he had a sharp mind truth be told, and if there was cause to worry… Well then, best they were all there then. (Even if he didn’t know two of the faces at the door.)

[missbosswald]

Clara was out having a wander, as she did from time to time – trying to clear her head or whatever. She’d been worried about Charlie, he hadn’t been eating his fish food as well as he used to, and she hoped one of the students hadn’t done something… but she was distracted from her thoughts when she spotted a gaggle of teachers – actual learning professionals – all huddled like children around the Doctor’s shed. 

“Seriously?” She marched over, hands on hips as she stood behind the group and cleared her throat. “And what’s all this, then?” Truth be told she’d been worried about the Doctor he’d been antisocial as late…. well, more antisocial than normal. Sighing and shaking her head, Clara squeezed her way through to the centre of the group until she was stood in front of the shed door. “First rule of social calls with the Doctor – no groups,” she preached, as though she were an expert on the subject (and yeah, maybe in some ways she liked to think she was though even Clara wasn’t egotistical enough to think she knew everything about him… even if she did know his proper name…) Looking over her shoulder to offer John a warm smile (just because), Clara cleared her throat and knocked on the door. “Doctor, you all right? Knock once for yes, twice for no.”

[firstnamethe-blog]

He wasn’t happy when he heard Donna, and he especially wasn’t happy when he was trying to be bribed. He lightened up a little when he heard John, but just as soon as he was about to respond someone else came up. Amy. The other Scot. The annoying one who never conceded when it came to being who was a better Scot. Then along came Missy, he should have suspected she’d turn up. Retreating further back into his shed, he paused when he heard an unfamiliar voice, only to realise it was the science teacher that disappeared for a year for one reason or another.

He wasn’t going to respond to any of them, and instead he was going to stay hidden. Maybe play did. Maybe hope that Idris would come and fire them all for not doing their jobs. (Not like he was doing his. Still). However, as he was about to continue his plan-he heard the one voice that would make him respond. 

Clara.

Hearing her proposal at communicating, the Doctor wrapped his hand into a fist before slamming it against his wall twice. No, he most certainly was not alright.

[msdonnanobleteacher-blog]

At seeing the crowd that had gathered, Donna took a step back and found herself agreeing with Clara.

She first offered the bag of sweets to Amy, since she wasn’t going to finish them anyway, before turning to the little crowd.

“Oi! Clara is right. Now, we all care about the Doctor, even if he is being extra special as of late,” she noted, “but a crowd isn’t the way to draw him out,” she conceded. “We’re all here, so that must mean we care about what’s goin’ on with him and if he didn’t know that before, he certainly does now.”

Donna’s eyes passed over them all. She didn’t even recognise the one bloke, but had heard a teacher had returned from a year long hiatus or something like that. John, well, she wasn’t sure where his initial bit of temper came from since she was the only one here originally and just trying to help, but so be it. The Doctor would probably talk to him, so that was good. Missy, Amy… maybe all Scots were just drawn together? Some sort of sixth sense one of their own was in trouble? And Clara… Well, if anybody was going to get to the bottom of this it was her.

She on the other hand, the Doctor probably could do without her mucking about his shed and honestly, after Chris being away for a bloody month, she wasn’t sure how much help she would be anyway. She hadn’t exactly been herself lately either.

“Well, it seems the thing to do, for me at least, is to step back and let you lot deal with it,” she announced making her away towards the back of the assembled hoard. “Only, do let him know that I hope he is well, yeah?” Donna didn’t want to cause him any further distress and if his friends were with him, then he had no need for the likes of her butting in.

Originally posted by kuro-chan03

[queenofcoalhill]

Missy found herself rolling her eyes again, but for a much different reason this time. Honestly, she was on a good day a chaotic neutral, but even Missy knew enough to own her actions... as questionable as they may be. 

“Oh WAH, WAH -- looks like you lot got it under control, let’s make this all about me shall we? Best to the Doctor, I’ll go sulk in my corner.” Missy shook her head in utter disbelief. She wasn’t trying to be mean (okay, maybe a little bit, but sometimes a little tough love was necessary to prove a point... right?), yes they had all wound up by the Doctor’s shed for some reason or another. If Donna wanted to leave that was fine, but to make it out as thought it was anything other than a personal choice? She wasn’t a proper counselor, but even Missy could see it wasn’t all as cut and dry as she was trying to make it. “Somebody is acting extra special, but it’s not the Doctor.”

With that Missy pushed her way towards the door, giving Clara a look that was half smile and half glare. “Two knocks then Doctor, not all right. Good start.” She paused, tapping her chin lightly as she considered the most logical and helpful question to ask next. “Do you require cheesy puffs?”

[justsaygeronimo]

The weather had turned decided more fall like and that drew Donna outside for a spell. She had just finished feeding Beatrice and pulled out the lovely chocolates Chris had put in her lunch this morning when some movement caught the ginger’s eye. “Doctor?” she called out. It had been quite sometime since she had seen the older man out and about. To be honest, she was a bit concerned. There was plenty to do on the school grounds and she expected to see him bustling about and being rude to anyone who got in his way.

Expecting this visit to be mostly unpleasant, Donna decided to go check on the old codger anyway. She’d never forgive herself if she didn’t and he wasn’t okay. “Well your invisibility cloak seems to be malfunctioning there Harry Potter, ‘cause I can see you just fine,” Donna teased as she headed over anyway. “Besides, I have a bag full of fancy chocolates and no appetite. I suppose I could  give them to Jack?” she considered, “Or I could just bin them…” she shrugged as she leaned up against his shed. 

Almost as soon as John stepped out into the courtyard where the Doctor’s shed was, he spotted the man peaking out of the front door. When he shouted, John silently pointed at himself and then noticed Donna and pointed at her – trying to figure out who he was talking to. Donna didn’t seem eager to leave just yet, so John continued as well. When was the last time he had a proper conversation with the caretaker? Of course, part of the fault there was his own, but that was neither here nor there.  

“He’s not five, chocolate won’t draw him out,” John pointed out, somewhat grumpily, but then immediately felt guilty for the temper and shot Donna an apologetic look –”What I meant was that he might think you’re trying to feed the squirrels” –before knocking on the door. “Hello!!!” He greeted, sounding a lot more chipper now as his easy going mask fell back into place. He was bound get annoyed enough to let at least one of them in sooner or later. 

[sunflowersinhistory]

“That bloody–” Amy muttered, stalking the halls to look for John, who amazingly had been playing the magic disappearing act all week. She let out a triumphant ‘hmph!’ when she spotted him slip outside, and quickly followed him before he could disappear again. 

Once she got out there, and spotted both him and Donna hovering outside of the Doctor’s shed, she rolled her eyes before marching over there herself. It wasn’t until then that she realized the Doctor was someone else who’d disappeared lately. “Oh come on.” She mumbled, pushing John aside with her hip after reaching over to snatch a piece of chocolate from Donna (If she was going to just be throwing it away, she figured why not?) and opened the door. “Surprise! You’ve got company, Doctor!”  

[queenofcoalhill]

Missy was just lurking in the shadows. She liked lurking in the shadows. And okay YES maybe she’d been coming to check in on the Doctor, because she guessed she sort of liked him too, but she hadn’t expected all the... activity. 

Busy bodies. Honestly. 

She let out a deep sigh, rolling her eyes for good measure as she stepped out of the shadows and joined the group. “Party at the Doctors? And I wasn’t invited?” Gasping, she put hand to heart dramatically. “That’s... incredibly rude. I might just have to tell Idris on you.”

[doctorwhogeneration]

[fyeahmichellegomez]

Missy tries to say something nice. [x]

[queenofcoalhill]

Texting ✉ Doctor + Missy

Doctor: It died when I became old.

Missy: That's no excuse.

Missy: You're only as old as you think you are.

[ a pause ]

Missy: You must be 510.

[ another ]

Missy: I'm in my mid twenties.

[queenofcoalhill]

Texting ✉ Doctor + Missy

Doctor: How about I just look at you. I'm sure that would work.

Missy: Oh you're no fun.

Missy: What happened to your sense of adventure, old man?

[queenofcoalhill]

Texting ✉ Doctor + Missy

Doctor: Missy, I...

Doctor: James likes bananas. If you ever felt the need to subtly do something for him.

- pause -

Doctor: I've gone up to six packets, since I last counted.

Doctor: Try to make sure he's out of the building though. Don't want to staff to suffer his idiot problem anymore than usual.

Doctor: If you want to eat your face slapping waffles, then by all means please do.

Missy: It's fine. I understand.

Missy: I'll make sure to get some banana macaroons.

Missy: We'll tag team it. You sneak the sugar, give me a sign -- a wink perhaps, or a dramatic wave -- I'll trip him on the way out the door.

Missy: Just like old times.

[ a pause ]

Missy: Oh I'm not afraid to eat your face waffles.

[queenofcoalhill]

Texting ✉ Doctor + Missy

Doctor: No, probably not.

Doctor: But you know I have my reasons.

- pause -

Doctor: Yes, his name is Paul and I don't like him. He doesn't even work there but he's horrible to the staff and I've been secretly dropping extra sugar into his coffee. Upping the amount each day.

Doctor: Feel free to trip him.

Doctor: and don't do that to the waffles, that's a waste.

Missy: Yes.

Missy: I know.

[ a sad pause ]

Missy: Oh Doctor, of course you'd choose the subtle approach.

Missy: I'll trip him all right, and delight as his sugary coffee stains his shirt.

Missy: Well, nobody said you couldn't eat them after.

[queenofcoalhill]

Texting ✉ Doctor + Missy

Doctor: Because I like things to go quickly and you'd stall on your order just to keep me waiting and stuck with you.

Doctor: Maybe when we get back to Coal Hill.

Doctor: I know a French bakery down the road.

Missy: Would that really be so terrible?

[ a longish pause ]

Missy: Oh finnnnne. Spoilsport. But you best pick out someone I'm allowed to trip at your little French bakery, or I'll slap you with a Belgium waffle out of boredom.

[queenofcoalhill]

Texting ✉ Doctor + Missy

Doctor: I think you know.

Doctor: James. You know how I feel about the boy, thank you for treating him well.

- pause -

Doctor: If you trip the waiter, make sure it's Andre. I think he purposely makes my teas wrong.

Doctor: And I don't like his hair.

Missy: He's not terrible.

Missy: Now, now Doctor. Why don't you invite me our yourself and we can trip the scraggly waiter together?

Missy: [ heart eyes emoji ]

[queenofcoalhill]

Texting ✉ Doctor + Missy

Doctor: I don't care if you frame this or show everyone, no one will believe you but

Doctor: I'm proud of you, Missy.

Missy: Proud?!

Missy: OF ME?!?!

Missy: I'm going to print it off and have it laminated.

Missy: Whatever have I done?

[queenofcoalhill]

Ever been in love?

Don’t be disgusting. Whatever would I do with an emotion like love? I’m a highly advanced creature, you know. I’m beyond love.

she’s been in love – or something like it – and maybe still is (read: definitely) with the doctor. she grew up in a household that didn’t believe in unconditional love and instead valued power. and so that’s what she believed was most important in life. there’s always been this sort of gnawing at the back of her mind (like a drumming sound?! :o ) — reminding her that love is weakness and the only way to be valued is through power. but there was a short time, back when she was just missy and the doctor had another name when her madness sort of died down and she thought… maybe…. but we all know how that turned out. and too, idk just like she’s afraid to die i think deep down she’s afraid she’s not deserving of love either. how can one love a creature who is too dark for a soul?

[pheesics-blog]

Now, now. You only do that after they’ve served the food. Wouldn’t want them spitting in anything, right? And not while they’re carrying any plates or drinks –especially drinks. Wouldn’t want to end up bathing in hot tea.

[queenofcoalhill]

When they drop off the bill, then.