All You Need Is Love

All You Need Is Love

[queer-love]

[queer-love]

[nullsynth]

can straight people stop kissing in public because it makes me really uncomfortable. i mean i dont hate straight people i just dont it being shoved in my face!!! :/

[im-an-egalitarianist]

So, homosexual couples can kiss in public, but heterosexual couples can’t?

[nullsynth]

no. it makes me really uncomfortable!! and i just don’t like it when a girl kisses a boy. it’s really unnatural and like!!! im an ally to straight people but i just prefer if they keep it to themselves, you know what i mean?

[im-an-egalitarianist]

A girl and a girl kiss in public. How do you feel?

[nullsynth]

i just dont like heterosexuals shoving their sexuality in my face. it’s so gross and it might offend some peoples religion :///

[im-an-egalitarianist]

Why are you avoiding the answer? Is all heterosexuality in public gross?

[nullsynth]

i mean its ok if they hold hands or something but even that’s kinda… lol keep that in the bedroom! im not heterophobic though because im a heterosexual ally. i think that its ok to let heterosexuals get married!! straight marriage!!

[im-an-egalitarianist]

You can call yourself an ally, but do you tolerate homosexual romance in public?

[nullsynth]

that’s the only romance i tolerate in public!!!

[im-an-egalitarianist]

Then you’re not an ally.

[nullsynth]

Ummm yes I am because I voted to legalize straight marriage and I have like three straight friends

[im-an-egalitarianist]

Straight marriage was legal. Always. What are you talking about? You say straight like it’s special.

[nullsynth]

if you keep attacking me like this you’re gonna lose an ally so please be nice to me :/

[im-an-egalitarianist]

We don’t really need any. Most people in the world are straight. So why do you think threats like that will persuade me?

[nullsynth]

um of course you need allies. who do you think got you this far for straight rights????

[im-an-egalitarianist]

Either you’re just messing with me, you seriously need to get off Tumblr and see the real facts, or you may be a very ignorant 12-year-old. Homosexual marriage was recently legalized, not heterosexual marriage.

[nullsynth]

omg why are all straight people so mean to their allies!!! we just want to be a part of your community!!!

[xx-ogthegaylinguist-xx-deactiva]

this was WAY too easy

[queer-love]

[queer-love]

[dilllllscourse]

lesbians: *exist*

tumblr: #pda #pda tw #pda // #pda tw // #public display of affection #nsfw #nsfw // #tmi /

[russian-rainbow]

[eddysonline]

The original flag, by Gilbert Baker, June 25, 1978.

[profeminist]

“The first Gay Pride flag was made in 1978 by a man named Gilbert Baker. He gave a meaning to each color.”

Beginners (2010) - Directed by Mike Mills

[gayelectro]

Fun fact! The reason we don’t see hot pink and turquoise in the modern flag is literally due to money and accessibility! Back when these were being hand dyed, the dyes for pink and teal were the most expensive. To make the flag easier for everyone to be able to afford (or make on their own), pink and teal were excluded, and their meaning is someone’s associated with the color below it now. Red now meaning sexuality and life, blue meaning magic and harmony.

[fuckyeahsexeducation]

List of Non-sexual forms of intimacy

[incapableofgivingup]

watchingtv/movies together

going to events together like carnivals, festivals etc.

going on dates like to the movies or shopping

sharing secrets

hugs

sharing drinks

phone calls

talking

touching noses

cuddling

philosophical discussions

hand holding

sharing jokes

sharing smiles

laying your head on someone’s shoulder

linking arms

massages

tickling

playing with hair

scratching backs

tracing designs on arms

talking about the future

a hand written note

moving your head to their chest and listening to their heartbeat.

singing together or playing instruments together

dancing

feeding each other

drawing/writing on one another

brushing your partners hair

sharing food

sitting knee to knee across from each other

doing beauty treatments like facials or manicures, hairdying or face masks

reading books together

take care of your partner when sick

talking about the relationship (how I feel with you, How I feel w/this relationship)

cooking together

head-scratches

hugging

discussions about yourselves (like flaws, shortcomings, passions, stuff)

being physically/emotionally vulnerable

just sleeping together,

an actual open honest conversation

bathing and taking care of hygiene together

butterfly kisses

nuzzling

telling on-the-fly stories

meditating or sharing spirituality

grooming

sharing hobbies

studding

sharing personal stories

shaving

seeing each other without make-up or all dressed up

moral support for major events

crying, sharing emotions, comforting each other

listening to someones heartbeat or breathing

camping/hiking

sleepovers

being with animals together

going on trips together

sharing clothes/jewelry/personal items

sharing online social media

cleaning someone else’s living space

going with them to a doctor/therapist

doing art together

kissing different body parts

making out

volunteer together

work together

talking about wants and desires

experience new things together

do an extracurricular together

play games together

play sports together

walking together

being respectful and kind to one another (helping them do things, open doors for them etc.)

sharing responsibilities (chores, babysitting etc.)

giving each other presents, special things from the heart

talking about and respecting each others boundaries

public displays of affection

grooming in front of each other

wrestling or play fighting

texting/talking online

looking in each other’s eyes

complimenting each other

falling asleep over skype or chat

making faces at each other

sky watching

write poetry

inside jokes

respect each other

tell them how you feel about them

get to know each other better (playing 20 questions)

go for a ride together

close your eyes and memorise each others faces with your fingers

walk arm in arm

make a playlist together

make up your own words or slang

go out to eat

list each other’s best features

bring your faces close without touching and feel each other breath

go shopping together

throw a party or other event together

leave love notes

exercise together

exchange something meaningful

try to have a whole conversation with only eye contact and facial expressions

sit back to back and feel each other’s heartbeat

learn their favorite food and make it

run errands together

look at photos together

take photos together

go people watch

have a staring contest

learn something new together

take turns leading each other on a nature walk blindfolded

get to know each others family and friends

draw or sculpt each other

paint each other’s bodies

play with kids together

practicing a skill together

sharing food

being in comfortable clothes together

waving goodbye

being comfortable with each other’s bodily functions

any others you can think of?

[biro-ace-of-hearts-blog]

For aces everywhere!

[boned-furry]

For anyone everywhere

[cynopansy]

TAKE NOTE

[mrpassionateone-deactivated2019]

It’s level to this shit maaaaaaan!!!! I crave Intimacy on sooo many levels. It makes me smile to see that there are people that understand this doesn’t mean just sex…

[kanyeshrugtae]

@@@@@@ MEEEEEEEEE

[queer-love]

[queer-love]

[lilybrawne-deactivated20160812]

[dxlllxs]

[letat-sauvage]

[everythingbagels]

I just read this super sad post about this girl who’s asexual and married and everyone is basically telling her that she doesn’t deserve her husband/she’s just a prude/she should just do it anyway. So I want to tell you all right now that if people tell you this, or if they tell you you’ll never have a relationship, it is BULLSHIT. My husband is asexual and I’m not. He’s sex repulsed, we don’t have sex, we never have. And it doesn’t matter to me. You know what does? He does. His mental health and wellbeing matter to me. Because he is my best friend and he’s one of the smartest, kindest, funniest people I’ve ever met. And he’s had people tel him that he’s broken and it makes me SO ANGRY because they are WRONG. Being different doesnt mean you’re broken. If you don’t like sex/don’t want it/etc. Do not let anyone tell you that you’re inferior because you’re not. Do not let anyone convice you that you’ll never have a relationship because they’re wrong(if you want one). You are not broken, and it will be okay.

[onyxjuniper]

This made me feel really good. Remember this, for all my ace spectrum friends out there

[auditorycheesecakes]

#it’s really reassuring to hear from the partner #the one who’s not ace #but is totally cool with having no sex #loves her husband anyway #is in a stable and happy relationship #it’s such a relief when you discover that asexuality is a thing #that you’re okay #but then you start to wonder if it means your only chance at not ending up alone is finding someone else who’s also ace #but no #turns out it’s not #that’s really good to hear #so #thanks #so ace #so space

I hope you don’t mind me reblogging your tags but these are my feelings EXACTLY

I’m always a little nervous that I’m not “good enough” for a “real relationship” because sex isn’t on the table. So yeah, these stories are reassuring

[intj-confessions]

The amount of pressure from society to have sex is incredible. We’re told it’s linked to relationship health and if you’re not willing to do every damn thing you’re labeled a prude. It’s incredibly disheartening, especially considering how one’s libido can change over the years even if you’re not ace. Nice to see a supportive piece from a partner.

OK, kids, buckle up it’s story time.

When I got married, I hadn’t had sex yet.  Waiting until marriage was important to me, so that’s what I did.  My wedding night was the first time I had sex.

It sucked.

I figured, ok, this is new for both of us, it’s probably going to take some practice.

A year later?  It still sucked  We tried a lot of different stuff.  A lot  of different stuff.  It sucked so bad, we even bought a copy of “Sex for Dummies”.

(it didn’t help)

I started working late so I didn’t go to bed at the same time as my husband.  Every time he would travel for work, I’d be grateful that I didn’t have to go through the awkwardness of avoiding his advances when I went to bed.

He didn’t think it was healthy for a newlywed couple to have sex less than once a week.  So we scheduled it.  Repeat, scheduled intimacy.  I thought I was putting on a brave face and doing what I needed to do to maintain a good relationship.

Because I had no idea that asexuality was a thing.

I talked to my husband, told him I didn’t like sex.  He didn’t understand.  I lost track of how many times I said: “It’s not that I don’t want to have sex with you.  I don’t want to have sex with anyone.”

So it was established, Amber doesn’t like sex.

But we still did it.  Because I wanted my husband to be happy.  Sometimes halfway through, I’d start crying.

And he’d always be supportive, and apologize.

After he finished.

So when I found out about asexuality, and told him how I felt, he suggested I go to a doctor.  Because obviously there was something wrong with me.

So I went to a doctor.

(surprise, surprise, I’m perfectly healthy)

Then I told my mom.  When she suggested meds to improve my sex drive, I broke down in tears.  I told her there was nothing wrong with me.  And my mom has been 100% supportive of my orientation ever since.  When people ask if I’m a lesbian, she teaches them about asexuality.  

But anyway back to my journey of self-discovery

So I tell my husband, I’m asexual, I don’t want to have sex.  You are not asexual, you do want to have sex.  One of us is going to be miserable in this relationship, and I’m tired of it being me.  I love you too much to make you miserable for the rest of your life, but I love myself too much to be miserable for the rest of my life.  We might have to face the fact that we’re not right for each other.

So his immediate response is “no, I can change, I’ll do anything, divorce is not an option, etc”

But I can’t exactly ask him to stop wanting to have sex.  Because that’s not how allosexual people work.  And he can’t seduce me into wanting to have sex, because that’s not how asexual people work.

Anyway.  He cries, I cry, we decide on marriage counseling to help our comunication.

Because we’d been married for almost 6 years by this point, and had been together for 3 years before that, and we still can’t really talk about what we want (or don’t want) in regards to sex.

So we go to counselling for 6 weeks.  The first 3 sessions individually, and the last 3 together.  During the together sessions, the therapist would prompt us with a question, and we’d talk to each other, being completely honest about things.

During (what turned out to be) our last session, I’d finally had enough.  I’d had enough of being embarrassed about what anyone else would think.  Enough of the gender roles I was being forced into.  Enough of paying someone to watch me talk to my husband.  Enough of pretending to salvage a relationship that I had been increasingly avoiding over the past 2 years, and I said:

“Josh, I love you.  We have communication problems, but we’ve been together almost ten years and I’m willing to work through those if you think we can make it work.  But I am never having sex with you again.”

(At this point, the therapist who’d been trying to get us to communicate put down her notebook and said, ok I think we’re done.)

Then and only then, did he agree to file for divorce.

—————–

I say all that to say this:

Don’t you dare fucking tell me that asexual representation doesn’t matter.  I would have six years of my life back if I had known.

And if you’re in a relationship, talk to each other oh my God.  About everything.  What dream you had last night.  That song from scout camp that randomly gets stuck in your head.  The reason you don’t like sweet potato.  That embarrassing thing you did in third grade that still makes you mad when you think about it.  If you and your partner can share these tiny, intimate details, talking about sex is no big deal.  And it takes practice, so practice.

————–

On a happy note, now, 3 years after the divorce, I am in a happy, stable relationship with another ace.  And if you happen to ask my mom how I’m doing, she’ll tell you “I’ve never seen my baby girl happier.”

It gets better.  But it’s up to you to make it that way.

[handsofmydas]

@theonetheonlyjordanelizabeth please read this ❤️ I may be sex repulsed but I know that I love you and thats what matters ✨

[pansexualfaithlehane]

I know this is already really long and really informative, but I also wanted to add a partner’s perspective. I too, have an ace fiancee. I knew about it before our relationship. I didn’t know it was a thing until I met her, and that was huge to me because I learned something new and also came to understand an old friend a little better.  I, on the other hand, am not ace. I am at the complete opposite end of the spectrum. I am pansexual, and she has a hard time I think coming to terms with the fact that I don’t want to make her have sex. Like, ‘Really?’ you might ask me. Like really is my only reply. I have loved her for a long time now, and being we met over Tumblr and we knew one another before the relationship, sex isn’t a big deal in our relationship. and I can think of at least ten of my friends who would feel the same way right now. 

ASEXUALITY IS A REAL THING, LOVING, SWEET ACE RELATIONSHIPS ARE REAL! Just because your partner wants sex doesn’t make you broken. Just because you don’t want sex doesn’t mean you should have to force yourself to do so. 

Just be honest with one another, love one another. If a relationship can’t survive a healthy, honest conversation, then it wasn’t a very strong relationship to begin with.  TL;DR People who can’t see past sex as a ‘core’ in a relationship with someone ace/sex repulsed is an asshole.

[four-luck-o-brien]

This nearly made me cry… I wasted 5 years of my life in a relationship, trying to figure out for most of my life what was wrong with me for not liking sex, being repulsed by it and and not feeling any kind of sexual attraction for anyone.

5 years in a relationship… We talked and he was understanding but it didn’t stop me from forcing myself to have sex with him because I felt so guilty. And he made me feel guilty, too. All these stories about how painful it was for him to not have sex with me… Blue balls and stuff like that.

Before I knew what asexuality was and that it is actually a thing, he’d still insist that we should have a specific amount of sex on a weekly basis… you know… maybe if I do it often enough I’ll like it.

I realised that there was a word for how I was feeling… asexual. I was asexual and I only realised it maybe 3 years ago. He still wanted sex even though he said, he wouldn’t want to force me. And he never did but if I said no, he’d be sulking and we’d be arguing until I gave in.

I was in that relationship for 5 years. He was a nice guy, but he hurt me in ways which are incomprehensible for him and even me. In these 5 years I trained myself to just put up with a thing I hate, that makes me uncomfortable and unhappy. I trained myself to say yes even though my brain said no. He guilt tripped me into having sex with him 100 percent of the times in 5 years. He manipulated me so much that I still, today, at this very point, have problems to say no to that something that I don’t want.

If I had known earlier in my life that asexuality is not an illness that can be cured, I’d have never been in that situation. I wouldn’t need to assure myself that saying ‘no’ is okay. I wouldn’t have to unlearn to automatically put up with something that other people deem the most important thing in a relationship.

REPRESENTATION MATTERS!!!!

[moon-sappho]

gay pride moodboard 🏳️‍🌈

[agentscullz]

im sorry if this isnt the most beautiful thing youve watch all day