Queerly Autistic

Erin (she/her). Author of 'Queerly Autistic: The Ultimate Guide for LGBTQIA+ Teens on the Spectrum'. 30s. Autistic. Queer. Fat. Fangirl. This is mostly a fandom space (full of gay pirates and angels and demons and other messy little neurodivergent queers I've picked up along the way)

[queerly-autistic]

I've seen some concern about the fact that the BBC has double-billed the last four episodes of Our Flag Means Death and bumped it up later in the schedule - concerns that this means it's not doing well for the BBC - and so I'd just like to allay some of those fears, if possible? To start with, it's important to recognise that the BBC does this all the time. I was in EastEnders fandom for many years, and nonsense schedule changes were a regular annoyance. When I shared OFMD's schedule change with my little group of friends from that fandom, everyone rolled their eyes and went 'oh yeah, typical BBC shenanigans'. As an example: the BBC was really pushing EastEnders last year, they'd been hard-marketing towards the big iconic Christmas episode since February, and then, around comes Christmas, and the BBC inexplicably sticks it on at 10pm (when it's usually broadcast at 7.30pm).

So this isn't unusual. This is extremely common. There's often very little rhyme or reason to the BBC live broadcast scheduling. To try and accurately read between the lines of this is like trying to analyse the written output of a cat walking across a keyboard.

But another big thing to remember is that Our Flag Means Death is a streaming show. The BBC dropped all of the episodes in one go because they know that it's the streaming audience where the show is successful. It's the same with What We Do In The Shadows - we know that the show does well for them, because they keep renewing their contract to show it, but because it does well specifically with a streaming audience the live episode broadcasts are perpetually bumped to a weird time (sometimes one in the morning!!).

The BBC is under contract to do a live broadcast of these shows, but that's not where the audience is. And that's why the episodes get shuffled around or bumped to a late timeslot or double-billed together. Them not necessarily getting spectacular overnight live broadcast ratings is not a big barrier to potential pick-up - streaming numbers is the important metric. And, just yesterday, the BBC dropped a card for the show over the credits of House of Games, a very popular (and mainstream!) afternoon gameshow, asking people to go stream it on iPlayer. if you haven't seen it, I managed to screen-record and post it on Twitter here (subtitles included): https://x.com/QueerlyAutistic/status/1762913455051325888?s=20. This is a really, really good ad to get - a very mainstream slot that potentially brings attention to the show from new audience demographics. The fact that they put an ad-read for the show in this particular slot is more indicative to me of the fact that the show is doing well for the BBC than any predictable shenanigans around live broadcast times. They advertised the 'niche' queer pirate comedy to a very mainstream middle-of-the-day audience! That's not nothing! And the fact that they were specifically advertising it as being on iPlayer - not the live broadcast - indicates to me that that's where it's doing well: that's where they know their audience is, and they don't care about the live broadcast, because the streams are where it's at. The live broadcast is probably just a contractual obligation at this point.

Our Flag Means Death is still regularly listed under 'trending' on the iPlayer website, and the Parrot Analytics for the show in the UK are excellent. And that's what we want. That's what we need to convince streamers. Remember: the YouGov survey about the show specifically asked questions about it in the context of streaming services. Overnight figures are lovely to have, too (so keep tuning in!) but this is a show made to stream. It was all dropped on iPlayer first for a reason; they're specifically pushing it on iPlayer for a reason. And, at the end of the day, it's streamers we're currently trying to convince to pick up the show, not broadcast television networks.

So, don't read too much into it. We're still doing good, UK crew!

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

I know some anons were asking out this! Thanks so much @queerly-autistic for the insight!

[queerly-autistic]

I hope it's helpful!

For a bit more info on the ad-slot: House of Games is a very popular gameshow that airs every day on BBC Two at around 6pm (finishing around 6.30pm), so it's a properly prime slot - a lot of people from many demographics tune in as they get home from work/school (friends my age do, my dad does, it's a broad audience). So it's about as mainstream as you can imagine. It's a really great slot to have the show advertised in, and I was so surprised and thrilled to see them giving it that space (and specifically pushing people to watch it on iPlayer). And then, of course, the shout-out to the 'cult following' in the spot, too. Just great stuff.

[queerly-autistic]

I've seen some concern about the fact that the BBC has double-billed the last four episodes of Our Flag Means Death and bumped it up later in the schedule - concerns that this means it's not doing well for the BBC - and so I'd just like to allay some of those fears, if possible? To start with, it's important to recognise that the BBC does this all the time. I was in EastEnders fandom for many years, and nonsense schedule changes were a regular annoyance. When I shared OFMD's schedule change with my little group of friends from that fandom, everyone rolled their eyes and went 'oh yeah, typical BBC shenanigans'. As an example: the BBC was really pushing EastEnders last year, they'd been hard-marketing towards the big iconic Christmas episode since February, and then, around comes Christmas, and the BBC inexplicably sticks it on at 10pm (when it's usually broadcast at 7.30pm).

So this isn't unusual. This is extremely common. There's often very little rhyme or reason to the BBC live broadcast scheduling. To try and accurately read between the lines of this is like trying to analyse the written output of a cat walking across a keyboard.

But another big thing to remember is that Our Flag Means Death is a streaming show. The BBC dropped all of the episodes in one go because they know that it's the streaming audience where the show is successful. It's the same with What We Do In The Shadows - we know that the show does well for them, because they keep renewing their contract to show it, but because it does well specifically with a streaming audience the live episode broadcasts are perpetually bumped to a weird time (sometimes one in the morning!!).

The BBC is under contract to do a live broadcast of these shows, but that's not where the audience is. And that's why the episodes get shuffled around or bumped to a late timeslot or double-billed together. Them not necessarily getting spectacular overnight live broadcast ratings is not a big barrier to potential pick-up - streaming numbers is the important metric. And, just yesterday, the BBC dropped a card for the show over the credits of House of Games, a very popular (and mainstream!) afternoon gameshow, asking people to go stream it on iPlayer. if you haven't seen it, I managed to screen-record and post it on Twitter here (subtitles included): https://x.com/QueerlyAutistic/status/1762913455051325888?s=20. This is a really, really good ad to get - a very mainstream slot that potentially brings attention to the show from new audience demographics. The fact that they put an ad-read for the show in this particular slot is more indicative to me of the fact that the show is doing well for the BBC than any predictable shenanigans around live broadcast times. They advertised the 'niche' queer pirate comedy to a very mainstream middle-of-the-day audience! That's not nothing! And the fact that they were specifically advertising it as being on iPlayer - not the live broadcast - indicates to me that that's where it's doing well: that's where they know their audience is, and they don't care about the live broadcast, because the streams are where it's at. The live broadcast is probably just a contractual obligation at this point.

Our Flag Means Death is still regularly listed under 'trending' on the iPlayer website, and the Parrot Analytics for the show in the UK are excellent. And that's what we want. That's what we need to convince streamers. Remember: the YouGov survey about the show specifically asked questions about it in the context of streaming services. Overnight figures are lovely to have, too (so keep tuning in!) but this is a show made to stream. It was all dropped on iPlayer first for a reason; they're specifically pushing it on iPlayer for a reason. And, at the end of the day, it's streamers we're currently trying to convince to pick up the show, not broadcast television networks.

So, don't read too much into it. We're still doing good, UK crew!

[queerly-autistic]

I'm thinking again about how in the dream version of Ed and Stede's big beach reunion, at the start of the season, they run into each other's arms and fall over together.

But then, in the real version, at the end of the season, they run into each other's arm and hold each other up.

[queerly-autistic]

Stede Bonnet is camp and fem in his frilly flamboyant colourful swishy outfits AND he's camp and fem in his leather trousers and one-tone open-necked shirts.

[queerly-autistic]

I've been turning over the 'boyfriends' deleted scene in my head all day, rotating it gently in my hands to get a good look at it from all angles, trying to figure out why it hit me in such an emotional place, and I realised it's because it's so...young?

It just perfectly captures that wonder and surprise and joyfulness of being in love for the first time, and realising that you can suddenly use words like 'boyfriend' and they mean something tangible to you - testing out the language and definitions of your relationship for the first time and being absolutely giddy with it all.

And the fact that it's two middle aged men, who have both been on their own specifically queer journeys, gives it a whole other layer of meaning and importance.

As queer people, so many of us were denied the opportunity to have these experiences when we were kids; standing on the sidelines and watching our peers go through all these rites of passage, whilst never quite able to reach out and touch it ourselves. And I think many of us live in perpetual fear that because we didn't to get to have this as kids, then we've missed out, and we will never get the chance to have those experiences in the same way.

But it isn't too late.

My mum came out as gay at 50, and I watched her go through the same thing when she met her first ever girlfriend (who is now her wife): the absolute excited youthful joy of being in love and getting to do all the things she never got a chance to do when she was younger. As a twenty year old, I was a bit annoyed and embarrassed by my mum suddenly turning into a lovesick teenager, but looking back on it now as a thirty-something, it actually makes me well up slightly thinking about how absolutely beautiful it was.

And that's why the 'boyfriend' moment puts me in such an emotional headspace. Because what this silly show did was cup my face gently in its hands and say 'it's never too late to have this'.

I'm so, so glad that we have so much representation for younger queers these days; that young queers get to see themselves represented on screen, having all these experiences that every young person deserves to have. But it's so much rarer for us to see older queers represented in this way, too. Older queers getting to have this is so important, and watching these two men in their 40s experience this, being allowed to revel in the giddy joy of first love - omg we're boyfriends! - like the happy lovesick teenagers they thought they'd forever lost the chance to be, it's just everything to me.

[queerly-autistic]

I'm imagining David Jenkins in all these different meetings with executives going 'hey, watch this' and then texting Samba the secret code-word before sitting back with his arms smugly folded as the executive gets a front-row seat to the internet exploding in real time.

[unearthlydust]

Stede Bonnet + his boyfriend Ed Teach

OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH

[queerly-autistic]

Hearing the words 'my boyfriend' out of Stede Bonnet's mouth has shifted something in my brain chemistry.

[baggnshield]

at what point do we stop clowning and just accept that we will never get a s3

okay I wrote a long ass funny response to this because the idea makes me so damn sad and joking is how I cope 💀✌️ but honestly? I think David would probably make a post going "thanks for all the love, we tried but it's not gonna happen. Until next time" or something similar. That's when we'll know that it's time to put the nose and wig away sadly

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

I am with you Meow! David is pretty straight forward from what I've heard... and the fact that Samba, Rhys and the cast is all over the place now, I feel like we are stuck in "contract mode" where they can't tell us anything... but something is happening. If I'm wrong, you can come yell at me post that announcement of full cancellation, but I just.. I can't see it not happening now based on how positive things are going.

[queerly-autistic]

Always remember: the Wynonna Earp fandom fought for over THREE YEARS, and they just got their announcement that they're getting a film to finish their story. And the announcement came with a photo of a script, suggesting talks had been in place for a while, enough for them to have finished the script (might even have been at a table-read?? need to double check), before anything was announced.

We don't give up until we are absolutely categorically told that there is no hope. And David would tell us.

[celluloidbroomcloset]

OK, but Ed seeing Stede kill to protect the people loves and going, "No, he's not going to go through this alone, yes, I'm going to be there if he needs me, yes, he is going to know that he's loved unconditionally and he is not a monster because of this thing he's done. He broke down a door once to help me, I'll do the same fucking thing."

Because Ed knows Stede. He knows that Stede is not OK. He knows that Stede needs him. He barely even hesitates.

And it's also really important that he's not going there offering sex as a reward or even as comfort. And Stede is not interpreting it that way either, because that's not what Ed is offering. Ed is offering love and care.

[lostakasha]

One of the best moments in this episode...

"I'm going to go check on him."

There's so much to be said about their trauma bond, and others have done better than I could, but Izzy Knows Best got shut down cold and I am here for it.

[celluloidbroomcloset]

I love this so much. Ed just…ignores him. Barely stops.

It’s also just this moment that expresses how well Ed knows Stede. They keep saving each other.

[queerly-autistic]

I've seen people try and argue that this is an instance of 'Ed should have listened to Izzy', that him going after Stede led to the sex and that was a Bad Thing and A Mistake, when nope, not at all, Ed refusing to let Stede sit on his own and spiral was absolutely the best and most loving thing he could have done.

Ed has been the person having to deal with this on his own before, and there's no way he's going to let that sort of trauma fester in Stede without going after him, to support him and reassure him that he's loved and understood and not judged.

The sex wasn't what they'd planned, but it's not something either of them actually truly regretted (Ed's 'it was a mistake' came when he was in the middle of a panic spiral, after multiple scenes of him seeming absolutely content and extremely happy about everything that had happened, and then he later on apologised for being a dick) - it was both of them needing comfort from each other, and actually allowing themselves to have that, with someone they love and who loves them, after a lifetime of not having it.

Ed absolutely did the right thing in going after Stede, for both of them.

[queerly-autistic]

The thing with Stede getting any sort of piratey makeover is that Ed would absolutely fall over himself with how attractive he finds it, but he wouldn't be falling over himself because it's piratey - he'd be falling over himself because it's Stede.

Yeah, he'd lose his shit over the low-cut top and the earring - of course he would, he's a human being - but he loses his shit just as much over Stede in the frilly shirts and fancy swishy coats and powdery wigs and sleep masks and nightcap and also the teeny tiny little reading glasses.

And he'd make damned sure Stede knows that Ed found him just as sexy before the makeover as he does after it.

[queerly-autistic]

The thing that gets me the most about this scene is that Stede doesn't rescue Ed. Not in the traditional sense. He doesn't grab him. He doesn't pull him out of the water. Heck, he doesn't even lead him out of the water.

No, what he actually does is just be with Ed, exactly where Ed is. And that's the most powerful thing he could do.

And, crucially, Ed is still underwater. Stede's presence hasn't changed the fact that he's underwater. But the difference is that the weight has stopped pulling him further down, and, most importantly, he's no longer drowning.

I've talked about how much I love the way that this show explores mental health, and this is just a shining example of that. Stede's love for Ed, and his unwavering supportive presence beside him, doesn't fix his mental illness. It doesn't pull him out of the water.

But, fuck me, does having that love and support make it all feel a bit more survivable.

[queerly-autistic]

The latest dataset in the long-term scientific study entitled 'Will Erin Ever Be Able To Watch The Merstede Scene Without Crying?' is in, and the answer is still an emphatic 'no'.

[arnoldlister]

https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/quills-top-surgery

it’s my 28th birthday in march and i’m crowdfunding for my top surgery! going private is the only option thanks to 4-5 year waiting lists for NHS consultations in the UK, and i haven’t even been referred to a GIC as of now. of course i’ll be putting my own funds towards the costs but at an average cost of £5,000-£8,000 it would take me years to save - a position myself and many other trans people are in, which breaks my heart. i wish trans healthcare was better than this.

i am so unhappy as i am. i want to get married in a few years in a body that feels like my own. i want to be happy with how my clothes fit. i want to not wear a binder every day, especially as a chronic asthmatic. i want to not feel depressed and uncomfortable and sick to my stomach about my chest. i just want to live, instead of feeling like my life is stuck on hold. i want to go into my 30s as a new man.

i’ll keep my justgiving page and my tumblr updated as i go forwards with consultations, finding a surgeon, gender dysphoria referrals and all that jazz! i currently have an appointment to get my dysphoria diagnosis and we'll go from there!

if you can’t donate, i appreciate you regardless, and just sharing this will help enormously. thank you so very much! ⭐️❤️✨

[arnoldlister]

i’m less than £100 away from my first £1000 milestone, i’d really appreciate a boost of this post! thank you 🥰

[merryfinches]

Close your eyes,

Give me your hand, darling,

Do you feel my heart beating?

Do you understand?

(Tumblr is going to kill the resolution here, please click to see it properly and I’ll love you even more! 💕)

[queerly-autistic]

Let's get OFMD on Gogglebox!

One of the biggest things we can do to try and get Our Flag Means Death picked up by another network is keep making noise about it, and so I had a wild middle-of-the-night idea about one way we could do this: try and get the show on Gogglebox!

For anyone who doesn't know, Gogglebox is an extremely popular and successful show in the UK on Channel 4, where ordinary people (and sometimes celebrities) watch and react to television shows, pop culture moments and films.

Usually, they seem to react to television shows after they finish airing, between a month and two months after from what I've seen from other shows, so we have time to push this. It would be amazing exposure for the show, and really put it in a fantastic spot in terms of visibility in the UK.

So, how do we do this? Well, firstly, I would say tweet about the show and tag Gogglebox on Twitter, letting them know that they should react to it. The 'This Woman's Work' scene, which feels tailor-made for a Gogglebox reaction, is airing on BBC2 this week (19th February 10pm), so a great opportunity to tag them going 'hey, look over here!'.

Another thing that we can do is contact Channel 4 directly. Here's a rundown of how to do that. Click here to get through to their contact page: https://www.channel4.com/4viewers/contact-us.

Step 1: At the bottom of the screen, after filling in your details (if you're outside the UK, you can generate a random UK address to use here: Random UK Address Generator - GeneratorMix), you will see a box labelled ‘My message is about’. Select ‘Channel 4/+ - streaming/on demand/apps’.

Then click 'submit'. Step 2:

Select how you normally stream Channel 4 (if in doubt, just select ‘Channel4.com’).

When asked if you're contacting them about a technical issue, select ‘No’. 

When asked what your query is about, select ‘Programmes’. 

Then click 'submit'. Step 3:

You can then leave your message. Some points to think about including:

Plainly state what you want them to do (you want Gogglebox to feature OFMD, which is currently airing on BBC 2 and available on iPlayer)

Explain what OFMD is and why it’d be a great candidate for Gogglebox (emotional and funny, with bonkers and heartfelt moments, perfect for reacting to!)

Push the diversity angle and how great it would be to see such a queer show featured on Gogglebox

Show that you are aware of Gogglebox by referring to other things they’ve reacted to (some ideas in my message below, or you can have a look on their YouTube) - the ‘Running Up That Hill’ Stranger Things reaction was incredibly popular and did very well for them on social media, so worth mentioning that there’s a similar scene in OFMD

Mention that the show is immensely popular, so featuring it would bring in an automatic audience AND get social media traction too!

This is the message that I left. I tried to include everything as an example of what we could say, but of course if you want to make it shorter and snappier, please do! I'm getting in touch with a recommendation for the current series of Gogglebox. I think it would be fantastic to watch the Goggleboxers react to Our Flag Means Death - Series 2 of which is currently airing on BBC2 (and is all available on BBC iPlayer). It's an amazing queer romantic comedy about pirates, that can have you laughing out loud and bursting into tears in a single episode, which I think would make for some fantastic reactions from the Goggleboxers. After being deeply affected by the tear-jerking reactions to It's A Sin a few years ago, I think it's really important to see the Goggleboxers react to a very different queer story (twice GLAAD-nominated) which, despite having dark moments, ultimately celebrates queer love and queer joy. I remember how brilliant (and popular!) the Celebrity Gogglebox reactions to the iconic 'Running Up That Hill' Stranger Things scene were, and Our Flag Means Death has a similar (but different) scene, in which Ed (Blackbeard) imagines the man he loves as a mermaid helping him fight back to life following a suicide attempt. It's one of the best scenes I've seen in a television show in years, bonkers AND emotional, made me laugh AND sob, and it feels absolutely tailor made for the Goggleboxers to react to (you can see it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSi1M8iQh_s). Not only is the show brilliant, but it also comes with a hugely passionate fanbase (over 86,000 people have signed a petition calling for its renewal, it was one of HBO Max's most popular shows last year in terms of engagement, and it consistently trends on social media with tens of thousands of tweets) who would flock to watch and talk about Gogglebox if it were featured. I really hope you'll consider letting the Goggleboxers watch this utterly brilliant show!   Then make sure you tick the ‘I agree to having my details passed to the production company if necessary’ (we want our messages to get to the people making Gogglebox!)

Then hit submit, and you’re done!

I think it's worth a shot! Who knows, if we make enough noise, and show how much of a following the show has, the producers might just consider featuring our pirates on the show, and what amazing exposure that will be!

[queerly-autistic]

I think about this scene all the time because it's one of those moments that seems throwaway but, when you actually look at it, it's so fundamental to Ed's character.

Ed is very clearly depicted as someone who likes being clean. He hates being dirty, and he hates mess. We get quite a few moments that show us this quite explicitly, and this is one of them. It's why the weird fanon about Ed not knowing how to be clean or not understanding what soap is (wtf?) is such nonsense (and also racist) - he's explicitly depicted as feeling so strongly about being clean that he made a 'no pets' rule on his ship specifically to avoid mess.

But, liking being clean and hating mess? That's far too much of a soft feminine trait for Blackbeard to have. Blackbeard's very survival depends on being seen as stereotypically hypermasculine. Blackbeard can't dislike dirt or be finnicky about being clean. So, Ed has had to come up with another explanation as to why pets aren't allowed aboard his ship that fits the Blackbeard persona.

I think this is a really fundamental moment in terms of understanding Blackbeard as a mask that's been constructed in order to survive, and how it sits at odds with the man - Ed - underneath it. And it also highlights the significance of his time with Stede, and the impact that Stede's radical softness (his natural eschewing of traditional masculinity just by being himself) has had on Ed. Stede doesn't just accept all these soft (traditionally more feminine) traits that Ed has felt compelled to hide for decades, but he creates an entire space where Ed feels much safer to just...be Ed.

To the point where, by the time this scene rolls around, Ed has pretty much forgotten about the need to pretend that this is about anything other than him wanting to be clean.