:3 tw: 3d🦋

fem (any prns) • @na • 18 • black+puerto rican

[questbarh8er]

introduction!

hi! i’m mars, and i’m 18 about to graduate and start college in the fall. i’m gonna study illustration, but i’ve also played a string instrument for many years and love music.

my fav genres are r&b and classical😭but i like modern stuff too! i love clothes, drawing, and reading.

i’ve had an 3d for a little over a year now, but i tried to p in my freshman year. i’ve always struggled with my self image, but it’s only gotten worse as i’ve gotten older..

i’m down to talk to anyone, and become mutuals. i fully support recovery, and encourage anyone to seek it if they have the capabilities!

measurements (lbs)

hw- 189

sw- 170

cw- 143.3

lw- 128

gw- 135

gw 2- 125

gw 3- 120

gw 4- 115

ugw- 110

ugw 2- 105/when i lose th1gh f@t

i’m 5’6🫵

i had to look up what these meant😭😭 i’m new to tumblr

PLS don’t report, this is my only safe place.

[questbarh8er]

bello

i jus started birf control, and oh god im eating so mich. but im at the point rn where im really really hating food again, bcs my stomach just hurts so much. i have meds for hunger headaches, but i really hate being full and in pain and holding my fat stomach while trying to sleep. so im hoping ill get back on track…

i’m at really low point rn. just mega pressed and stressed. i’ve always been bad at being happy, but it’s worse rn. idk.

good news tho! i got my own place, and can therefore focus on self deprecation more! i wanna try meal prep for real, and just make and eat small portions. it’s gonna take a bit for me to fully settle and get everything i need, im not fully moved in yet, but im excited nonetheless…

idk this is all i have rn. i’m at a constant low and i am only getting lower. i feel so lonely, but being like this is something u can only do successfully if u are alone. so this is what i deserve. yeah.

[empty-an4gel]

my omad tricks (tw: m34n$p0)

this is coming from someone who used to not be able to stop a binge no matter what. since early june of this year, i've been fasting for 23 hours straight with a one hour window where i have a single meal. i know how it feels to spend hours looking for tips and tricks, only to read the first few and immediately know it won't work for you, so i hope this helps. :)

Sleep as late into the day as possible: I like to use my bed rotting to my advantage. On the weekends or breaks, I usually sleep in until noon or later. By then, the only thing on my mind is getting up and starting my day, not breakfast or lunch. I saw a post a few days ago where someone trained their brain into thinking hungry=tired, so they took naps throughout the day. I liked that idea and thought I'd share in case you aren't able to sleep until noon. Maybe hungry could even mean it's time to get things like assignments and housework done.

Keep track of the c4l0r13s you consume (If you do end up binging): Just like on the scale, it hurts to watch those numbers go up. Maybe the more it hurts, the more it'll force you to actually try. (Only track the c4l0r13s you consume before your daily meal)

Watch 3D journey stories/analysis of characters with 3Ds: A very controversial one for the first part, I know. I find when someone is telling their story, they accidentally show their audience how they did it exactly. Maybe this is just too evil to include, but I will anyways. A similar yet less guilty-feeling option is to watch an analysis of a character with an 3D. Recently I found myself watching one on Cassie Ainsworth from Skins. Maybe this suggestion will make you spiral deeper into your d1s0rd3r, or maybe it'll make you come to your senses--but why would you want to stop? ;)

Look at the social media(s) of those you envy: Possibly another controversial one, but it works. I don't mean just looking at a stranger as th1n$p0, I mean someone you actually know. Just think for a moment, who do you truly envy in your life? They wouldn't be so superior to you once you're $k1nny, would they?

Make a list: If your family is anything like mine and often goes out to eat, it's always smart to have a pre-made list of low c4l0r13 swaps. Most of the time, I usually know where we're eating before we go, so I can just check my list. If for some reason you don't usually know where you're going, there is always some sort of "universal" dish on every menu. (Ex. salad without add-on's) This isn't really true for fast food places, so that's when the list comes in handy.

Always have the smallest portion possible: This rule goes for both eating at home or going out to eat. Always order/serve yourself the smallest portion, and always eat a single serving. Portion control is extremely important when trying to l0$3 w31ght. You can eat the healthiest food on earth and still g41n because you ate more than you needed.

Keep your mouth busy: If you're craving flavor, chew gum. If it's boredom hunger, make it a game to drink as many glasses of water as you can. You will have to take several bathroom breaks if you chose the water game, but it will be worth it if it means silencing the hunger. This option is definitely better for hands-free tasks, and I mainly use it when I'm watching something. School, work, or just completing tasks will be the best times to chew gum. This is because you're often too busy to get a new piece during these times, so the calories won't add up as fast. I'm not aware of any true zero c4l0r13 gum to recommend, so sugar-free will be the safest option. There are true zero c4l0r13 drinks with flavor, but I find that gum does a better job because you have to chew it.

Stay active: I like to walk circles around my room with music playing through my headphones. I do this on weekends or breaks, mostly because of weather, and going outside would risk people finding out about what I'm working for (Because I usually don’t go out).

Tell no one ;)

[openmouthclosedeyes]

some of these are so clever and i didnt even think of them before!! thank you to the angel that posted these

[questbarh8er]

idk

i’m trying to get back into this by just… not eating meals but eating small snacks, or not eating snacks but eating small meals. it’s visually kind of working but i don’t have access to a scale rn🙏

i probably won’t eat the apple until later and i probably won’t finish the smoothie. 🫃🏻

[sm4lestspeckofdust]

it’s sooo satisfying lowering your cw in your bio 💗💗

[vaskebjorn0000]

please im begging you if you 'eat' in your room just to throw away food, dont. get a tupperware. its cheap to get shitty plastic ones. put the food in there. give it to a homless person. a friend whos in poverty right now. someone who wants it. i know its hard and i wish you could eat the food, but if you cant, im begging you please give it to someone. when i was homeless, a girl about 14 years old saved me by giving me half a loaf of almost off bread. you could save a life, take anxiety off someones shoulders, give someone a day of not worrying. i dont care that you can starve for days, theres 12 year olds going home without eating all day bc mama cant make sandwhiches anymore. dont throw it away. you will have people in your life who cant afford food. your best friends little brother. the kid at your sewing club. something. im begging you. as a recovering anorexic, and a previous homeless man. give it to someone else. a shelter. anywhere.

[vaskebjorn0000]

im tired of the ed community making fun of people for complaining about being hungry. you are not shivering in the streets wondering where your next meal is, or if youll ever get one. your not a kid whos doing exams soon whos mama cant put food on the table as much. your not a kid who goes to every afterschool club hoping someone will give them something. do better. stop making fun of people for complaining after missing one meal. as a community we need to do better.

[vaskebjorn0000]

stop liking this and reblog it. i cant use ed tags ans i want this to have reach

[we1ghtlessg1rl-deactivated20241]

I AM DETERMINED AND READY TO LOSE *extreme* WEIGHT IN 2025

⚠️ only reblog if you’re serious.

[ninaisstarving]

safe foods grocery list <3

here are some things i basically live off of!!

rice cakes (all different flavors) (35-60)

halo top ice cream (varies, 250-400 per pint)

Yasso ice cream bars (70 for mint chip)

outshine sugar-free popsicles (30)

popcorn (varies)

fiber one bars (70-90)

laughing cow cream cheese light (25)

sugar-free chobani yogurt (60)

sugar-free pudding cups (40)

sugar-free jello cups (10)

water flavor packets (or liquid) (0-10)

sugar free gum (5)

skinny syrups (0)

stevia, sweet n low, Splenda (0)

cauliflower rice (20-50)

light string cheese (50-60)

drinkable konjac jelly (3-10)

fat-free cottage cheese (120)

starkist light tuna in water (70-90, diff flavors)

frozen fruit (60-80)

salad mixes (20)

repost to add ur own, love u guys!!

[zero--sugar-bambi]

Saving this for when I go shopping lol

[bpdbbyysblog]

Doing this diet after my fast on Jan 4th determined to lose ten pounds in a month. I'll post what i eat daily hold myself accountable.

[questbarh8er]

life update!

i got new things!!! yay!!!!

so, firstly i got a laptop for college. it’s a macbook pro 16” and it’s basically the first computer i’ve ever owned. i had one before, but it was used and old and i couldn’t even use it, it was so slow😭

i’m not rich my any means, but my grandma has a bestbuy credit card, so we got it right away, and are gonna pay installments throughout this year. it’s so beautiful i love it.

also, my dad gave me his apple watch, and it’s so accurate omg, i burn so much more cals that i was even aware of. im still gonna push, but its kinda reassuring.. gosh im so happy rn i love apple consumerism…

[imflyv]

[dead-weight-vents]

I really fucking hate fatspo, it's not motivating it's just fucking mean. If you're sick be sick, don't involve people that want nothing to do with your bullshit. At least they can enjoy a fucking meal and not be so fucking cruel about it, you starved brain bitch. Taking other people down for the sake of your illness isn't cool and won't make you get thinner any time soon.

People die from this shit and you getting on a high horse doesn't stop the fact that anyone can drop dead from malnutrition and organ failure at any fucking weight. There's a difference between thinspo and meanspo, which people WILLINGLY participate in, and just shaming fat people that did nothing to you just makes you a bitch. Pushing other people that are overweight in this community so fucking extremely and shaming is just signing off their death certificate you God damn thoughtless table scraps

[squippp]

Right. People who post f-spo are the reason I’m on tumblr in the first place which ISNT A GOOD THING.

[questbarh8er]

okkkk yesterday i had less than 1000cls for the first time in like forever, so i feel epic‼️‼️ i think it was around 600🤷🏼‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️

it just feels good to be back on track, despite the pain of it. everybody nourish urself today🫂

[tiny-valerie]

[sushibabe]

One of the hardest things is that feeling after you do eat, or even worse binge, and you just sit there with that stuck anxiety feeling. It’s like you can’t do anything about what you just did except wait and I hate it.

[questbarh8er]

rant tw

hi.

some stuff⭐️writing this nice and long winded bcs personally reading these helps to distract me

i haven’t been properly active on here bcs i’ve disappointed myself so much!!!!!!! wow. i gained like 10 pounds right before prom, and hated myself for it. i can’t help but have specific visions for how i want to look for certain events (like a concert, or field trip), it gives me something additional to look forward to. in my mind, if i look good (sk1nny), ill have much more fun.

so i hated most prom pics, and almost any pic i’ve taken since then. i’m around 146lbs rn. gosh. i’m doing what i can to get back, but i’ve noticed stuff.

it’s very easy to turn on my f4sting app and just not eat for a bunch of hours, but once i turn it off, im back to where i’ve started. i stopped going on tmblr for a while bcs it made me feel kinda anxious/nauseous, but it helps me to curb my appetite.

i’m trying to just limit how many snacks i eat instead of meals, bcs that’s my biggest problem. rn i’m taking meds bcs of an accident i got myself into, and i have to eat food with them to avoid feeling sick.

my system rn (it’ll change bcs im almost out of meds, and there’s no refills):

pre breakfast + pill: 50cal rice cake

breakfast: yogurt + granola ~250cal, or cereal ~250cal, or oatmeal ~350cal

“lunch” (before my shift): an apple

break + pill: rice cake 50cal

this has kinda… worked..? like, for the most part, i do the stuff, but i still keep snacking. i’m so conscious of my eating habits, that i never know if im actually satisfied, so upping my portions doesn’t fully work. it’s like im experimenting with how big and bloated can i make myself before my shift. and then i get home at like 9pm, and stuff my face with bullshit..

the best thing abt my job is that i have to walk around a lot, so i end up generally getting a lot of steps, even if it is slow. that’s good, especially if i go on a walk in the morning and already pass my move goal.

i guess i just feel like im stuck bcs of the faux recovery i kinda went through. before, i was able to eat as little as possible and not think much abt it. id forgotten what it was like to be full/slightly satisfied, bcs i hadn’t really known to begin with.

now that i’ve stuffed my face too much, it’s so hard to cut back on cals when my biggest problem, for my whole life, has always been me prioritizing snacks over meals.

i don’t have motivation to fit the standards of another person, now it’s just gotta be me. i want to have pictures taken of me and not worry about how my body looks. i want less pics of me eating, more of anything fuckin else.

also, before this mega relapse, i was so unaware and uneducated on cals. like i genuinely thought 1k was a lot. now im not even sure how it’s possible to eat less in a day. what’s wrong with me. i’m so sick but i don’t know how to make it worse anymore. gosh.

[questbarh8er]

despite my complaints, i’d take b1nge nightmares over the real thing any day🤲🏽🤲🏽