Questioning Lesbian Journal

Hello everyone! I am a 23 year old female who has been questioning for a long time! I thought I would make a page to help myself and other girls who are questioning. Please send advice or anything that helped you navigate it.

[questioninglesbianjournal]

Obvious signs that you are a lesbian that you missed:

Hey guys I want to open this up for people to share this and reply or submit a sign you might be a lesbian or a realization about the past that was an obvious sign. It could be funny ones too. I’ve been seeing some around and they are really eye opening. They really got me thinking about what I am in denial about.

I’ll start and add some that I have seen or in denial about:

1. You have taken an ‘Am I Gay Quiz”

2. You search through hashtags #wlw #saphic

3. You wanted a really close female best friend when you were younger/ now.

4. Dating a guy was scary

5. You thought you would just wait until marriage to have sex and it wasn’t a big deal.

6. You chose what guy to have a crush on.

Continue this and share please! I want to hear your stories maybe we can relate !

[questioninglesbianjournal]

How do I know if I am actually a lesbian or I just dislike men and feel insecure around them?

Like I never want to do anything intimate with a man. I feel like he will judge me

I am just trying to figure out do I not like men because I am a lesbian or because men make me feel so insecure. I feel so gross when I think about a man looking at me. I wonder am I not a lesbian, but just have man anxiety?

When I started going on dates with women I actually felt better about my body because I was soooo attracted to the things on them that I thought I really hated about myself. Dating women healed my disordered eating problems.

I’m just confused if I actually don’t like men or I have the mentality that they are judgey so I am scared to interact with them because I am so insecure.

Can anyone relate?

[questioninglesbianjournal]

It’s been a crazy long time since I’ve been on here. I am now 26, almost 27!

I still feel like I NEED to date a man to prove to myself I am definitely a lesbian!

The guy from dating app asked for my number. I’m debating on if I will give it to him. That will certainly start my stress and anxiety, but I feel like I need it.

 I’m not convinced that I can’t date a man! Feels crazy. Think I’ll talk to him even though I really don’t want to.  I have made progress and have only dated women for a while, but I still have that doubt and comp Het.

[questioninglesbianjournal]

It has been soo long since I have been on here!!

I dated a girl for the 2nd time right after ending things with the last girl bec she hurt me!!!

Things with this 2nd girl didnt end well. She was sooo sweet and nice. We were sooo similar! But then she ran into her exboyfriend and it triggered her that she isnt ready to date bec she isnt over him.

I understood it was just rough how she ended things and what she said before she admitted that was the reason. In the end she was apologetic and we had a very open and mature conversation about life and how she just didnt want to stick around to hurt me.

I am on dating apps and talk to girls here and there. I am currently talking to someone new and the convo is going somewhere. I hope we can meet up.

I am still stressed about labeling myself. I keep trying to force myself to date men and I keep failing.

[questioninglesbianjournal]

My first thought when I woke up this morning was “ugh I wish I had some boobs on my face right now” but yet I can’t accept I am a lesbian. A man hasn’t crossed my mind in agessss!!! I wan’t a girlfriend!! The signs are there, but idk lmao

[slimegargoyle]

growing up finding girls attractive without registering it as attraction sucks because you basically end up weirdly fixated on them but also super insecure and competitive

[friend-o-dorothy]

Posts like these seem small but like when I read about these small realizations they do so much by way of helping me grapple with my own comphet and confusion and pain. These little posts are so unbelievably important.

[toastbutteregg]

i know i post a lot of memes but this deserves to be seen by everyone as well

[questioninglesbianjournal]

Ughh our dates at her place were always so cute!! I keep feeling guilty like she actually did care!

And actually meant it when she said not responding was not on purpose!!

Ik if she wanted me she would have made it clear.

Like all of the signs were SUSPICIOUS. Tons of red flags. But why was in person so perfect!? What was her goal!? If she didn’t want me she would not have made the dates so nice right? I regret ending things soooo badly now omg

[youknowyouhaveadhdwhen]

I hate feeling lonely omg😭

I feel so disconnected from everyone.

My friends have been distant

The girl I was “dating” has always been distant but I accepted it bec the thrill of reading into her actions figuring out of shes playing games was exciting. I wasn’t happy lol.. but it kept my brain preoccupied for the last 8 months!!! I took everything I didnt like bec I knew this wouldnt last forever bec of the way she acts. But I reallly loved the good parts and it made me feel something during this pandemic.

I didn’t see her alot, but looking forward to the next date and next time I got to cuddle with her all night was fun. The actual date was great. Kt was nice being held , kissed and touched. Then being able to tell my friends about the date and being happy about it.

For the past 8 months I had stories to tell. My life was so boring before, I finally had something new and interesting to consider and discuss. New things to wonder about.

Last weekend too many things happened with the girl. I felt like I did not matter and I couldn’t accept that she barely cared about me anymore. I snapped and no longer thought about how it was great to get out of the house because of her. I ended it. Felt guilty when she told me she didn’t mean it. Idk what emotions even came into play. Maybe RSD. Even tho the stuff was actually problematic. I asked like 10 million ppl to make sure it wasnt just me.

Now I regret ending things. I wish I held on just so I wouldn’t be lonely. We barely spent time together, but in the past 8 months my mind was always on her. It feels weird to not have that to stress about. I keep crying each time I think about it. I have never dated before. She was the first person to give me a slight bit of attn. So I guess It would be alot.

I feel so pathetic that I wanted to hold on to someone who often forgot about me just so I can have something to do sometimes.

When is the next time I will cuddle with someone? Who knows when!!😭

[questioninglesbianjournal]

A rant I posted on my other blog. 😭😭

[questioninglesbianjournal]

I can’t believe I did it! I ended things with the girl I have been talking to for 8 months.

I have been asking questions for months on here on how to WLW relationships work bec she was just so confusing and distant.

She never communicated and would forget to text me back for days.

I was the only one putting in effort and thought.

She literally did not care about me but I was just sooo desperate to figure things out.

I know I ended it, but I am still in TEARS. I can’t stop crying. I wanted this to work soo badly.

If I was strong enough for a casual relationship I would be fine now! Maybe?

How do casual relationships work? Am I allowed to get upset of they forgot our plans, kinda apologized and then canceled the makeup plans and didnt apologize?

I think about how much fun we had together and I kinda regret my decision.

Now I am alone😭

[questioninglesbianjournal]

I feel so lonely. I just wish I had someone who cared about me and could just hold me. I need attention and cuddles so badly.😭

I need a girlfriend.

This situationship I have is not it.😭

[questioninglesbianjournal]

Ughhh its so hard to move on from someone even when you know you should. I keep giving her chances and just going back into it.

I know I deserve to have my needs met and you can’t let people make you feel irrelevant.

But I enjoy her company so I guess if I am getting something out of it is okay right?😭

We aren’t even official so I might as well enjoy? Idk what to accept and what to be understanding about. It isn’t anything bad.

She just is not as emotional and communicative as I need

[questioninglesbianjournal]

I know falling too fast is an unhealthy trait found in many WLW relationships, but I WANT THAT BADLY.

Ugh I don’t feel emotionally connected to this girl yet! I def believe that an emotional connection will come with time spent in person and we have not had many dates! BUT i want to just be cute and mushy over text with her already!! Tell me you miss me ! Tell me you can’t wait to see me! Tell me you miss my kisses! Tell me you can’t wait to cuddle with me again.

Although I haven’t tried to say that stuff, she hasn’t matched my energy with the stuff I do say, so I am not comfortable with that! I want to feel wanted

*When we are in person she is the sweetest person ever. She literally told me last time she liked me a lot. We cuddled, talked a lot, and I gave her neck kisses. But yet I feel so lonely in the time between our dates. It feels like we are strangers between dates, and then I see her in person for an 8 hr date and we feel so connected and established. I wish we could keep some momentum! Idk how but something! Any advice?

[questioninglesbianjournal]

Ugh I wish I was cuddling with her now😭 I wanna grab her booty too 😭

[questioninglesbianjournal]

Can anyone relate to this or can give advice?

Ive had another date with the girl I have been talking to and we keep kissing (3 dates where we hav kissed), but I dont feel anything when kissing still! I stressed and wondered if I was asexual, but our date saturday kinda told me I wasnt. Maybe?

We were playing around & flirting and then she told me she gets nervous around me and she likes me. So I hug her from behind and tell her I feel the same way and we shouldnt be nervous anymore.

So I start kissing her neck and lead her a few steps back to the wall and then I kiss her!! We start making out. When im done I kiss her neck more and grab her butt.

It seems like nothing but I reallly cant believe I was able to lead like that. Like something was pulling me towards her to want to touch her?! So I guess I am not asexual?When we cuddle I feel things. But why I dont I feel anything when kissing her!?! I want to enjoy it. Some ppl suggested I might not be attracted to her. But I think I am. 😭😭

I crave her kisses and I cant wait to kiss her again. Whyyy and how if I never felt it !? help! Plz dm if you have advice loll thx

[questioninglesbianjournal]

I like women ...alot! The thought of seeing a naked woman’s body excites me!

I am 23 years old & have never dated a man before. I have been talking to a woman for a few months and we have had a few dates. Things are moving soo slow, but I am enjoying the process. We cuddle and kiss. I feel soo at ease laying next to her to the point I am confused. I dont feel as “wrong” as people made me think being with the same gender should be. Me touching a woman doesnt give me the anxiety just simply crushing on a man gave me. I am experiencing peace being interested in someone. I had sooo much chaotic energy around guys I “liked”.

I say all of that because I still feel straight idk why! Like I cant call myself a lesbian. I still dont know If I like guys or not. I could be bi but I don’t feel good calling myself that.

Lol I don’t feel different. Dating women doesnt feel abnormal to me. Maybe bec I have never dated a man?

I still feel straight. Like a straight girl who likes cuddling with girls? I sound stupid ik. Maybe once I have sex I might feel gay? I guess its denial?

Any advice?

[galaxyinabeanie]

I really want cuddles right about now but I have no one to cuddle with >.<

Like it's been snowing all day, this is the perfect weather to cuddle up to a girl under tons of blankets with a cup of hot chocolate and watch a movie :)