[catboyconfucius-deactivated2024]

people who use it/its pronouns confuse me so much. like wanting your pronouns to degrade and belittle you is not healthy. i dont understand how most lgbt young people think thats totally fine. the times ive been called IT in my life, i have felt humiliated and disgusted. anyone who wants that for themselves on purpose needs to talk to someone

[questioningtransman]

Every time I see posts downplaying how serious hormones and surgery are I get filled with so much anger. Like it’s a nothing decision that you won’t have to live or deal with the consequences of and will never have an effect on your health or life

[questioningtransman]

I don’t think cancel culture is this huge issue boomers think it is but maybe people should stop the cycle putting celebrities on a pedestal and then acting like when they slightly fuck up or misphrase something it makes them an awful human being worthy of being deplatformed. Maybe we can accept that none of us have perfect perspectives on the world and that doesn’t make us evil

[queerism1969]

[questioningtransman]

Actually, many medications are unsuitable for children because they’re still developing.

[questioningtransman]

I’m going to say something controversial.

You can’t compare gender to race. People across the political spectrum do this.

Doing drag is not comparable to blackface.

Not dating a trans person is not comparable to not dating a person of color.

You can’t have race dysphoria.

Having primary and secondary sex characteristics is not the same as cis women of color having more “masculine” traits.

I feel like people are obsessed with this black and white, simplistic understanding of race and gender for whatever suits them. We need to think a little more on how these things actually work, because these lines of thinking are allowing transphobic people to compare gender presentation to cultural appropriation, to identify as “transrace”, or to act like sexuality is the same thing as racism.

[npcdeath]

why saying “trans men are men” as a dismissive statement comparing them to cis men is harmful:

i was first wolf-whistled at 11 years old by a man in a passing car, and was frightened and sick to my stomach. the creeping, sickening dread that comes with realising men are beginning to see you as an object for consumption is terrifying. walking down a dark street with keys between my fingers, being touched suggestively by drunk men at social gatherings, consoling my childhood friend after she was sexually assaulted and trying to help her find the confidence to press charges - these were things i had experienced firsthand through having a “girl’s” childhood and adolescence.

6 months into hormone replacement therapy i continue to experience misogyny firsthand from those who perceive me in my day to day as a masculine woman. i experience homophobia both from those who perceive me (incorrectly) to be a butch lesbian and those who perceive me (correctly) to be a gay man. i experience transphobia from those who can place me as a trans man, who see my high waist and hint of breasts and pubescent stubble and hear a mans voice from my mouth. even when i pass as a man completely i have to be on edge, i cant speak to a cishet man without worrying that he will take issue with however he could interpret my appearance and confront it, potentially violently.

i am a man, but i was brought up as a girl, and that has intimately shaped the way i experience and portray masculinity. denying what i experienced growing up as a “girl” would be essentially denying things that made me into the person i am today. trans men are men, yes, but its a completely different experience of manhood, and equating it to a cishet male experience is not only objectively wrong but also harmful, as it ignores the struggle, isolation & marginalisation that comes with being a trans man

[npcdeath]

not to push this post but i really do want to foster some kind of understanding here bc theres a lot of assumptions and misconceptions about what its like being a trans guy from other people in the lgbt community and its really important to me to try and reduce that

[shock]

i just think it’s exhausting that trans men are not allowed to talk about the things they experience and are effected by every single day, nor create our own terminology or engage with any existing terminology, because for some strange reason everyone assumes by saying anything about ourselves, we must be making assumptions about or discussing for any other person, and only in a negative way.

we are never allowed to freely discuss and create words for our own experiences and we are not also allowed to use any previously conceived ideas from anyone else to relate to our experiences… everything we say is not “correct”, somehow it is inherently harmful to someone else’s experience or idea of themselves, despite us just trying to navigate our own way as well, and instead of holding nuanced conversations about it we are shoved down and made fun of and turned into jokes. 

and i hate that it’s assumed that by talking about my own life and what i experience specifically because i am a trans man, i must be saying something about trans women, or nonbinary people, or anyone else - when i just want to talk about my own life and how i feel about myself and how the world treats me! 

but i think a lot of this really only happens on tumblr… social media in general. all the trans people i know in person, all kinds of trans people, even many GNC ~cis~ people i know… we hold a lot of conversations together that are just so enlightening and collaborative and i feel like there’s a disconnect here with the current climate on whatever side of tumblr i guess i’m on that i notice. 

abandon the idea you have of trans men as holier-than-thou diabolical happy-to-be-privileged-and-oppressive (lol, as if) angry violent malicious completely inseparable and identical to “cis men” who secretly hate other people and want everybody else’s rights to be squashed so that we can stand triumphant or something… please. my words, when i talk about myself, do not have a secret undercurrent of “since i feel this way, X could not possibly -” full stop. my statements about my own body, my own life, my own experiences, do not reflect anyone else and i don’t want it to and i never want it to and i hate that i have to constantly put myself down in order to be allowed to speak for myself. i am not a compacted representative for the experiences of all trans people and that is impossible anyway. i’m talking for myself. 

leave us to have our discussions of our rights medically, socially, leave us to discuss about our navigation of a world that has a lot of very specific ways it’s decided to deal with us - none of them nice, and none of them caring, or fair, or kind, or safe. 

[stealthboy]

it is absolutely blowing my mind that OP explicitly states that he is not now nor ever trying to imply anything bad about other trans communities, and some of yall still jumped to make accusations of him doing so

this is literally the issue. as trans men we are never allowed to talk about ourselves and our own experiences without people putting words in our mouths and drawing conclusions from things that we never said. i dont know why so many of you are so eager to assume that we have ulterior motives when all we’re trying to do is express the struggles faced by our own community, but i am beyond sick of it. it is infuriating to have people trying to pick fights with me over beliefs that theyve incorrectly decided that i hold. they twist my words and intentions until they are unrecognizable and then yell at me for the mangled end result, and once again a post about trans men ends up horribly derailed 

all we want is to be able to talk about our lives and experiences. if that upsets you so much that you feel the need to make shit up to justify yelling over us…well, the least you could do is admit that you dont care about us. at least own it

[unscharf-an-den-raendern]

[questioningtransman]

I’m not a fan of this logic. I think it should be the other way round, for example if a cis woman wants her breasts removed surely she should have therapy to see it’s not a personal issue causing the desire? Boob jobs aren’t just easy procedures, most cosmetic surgery is not as minor as we think. People have life threatening side effects all the time and we should acknowledge that someone should understand what they’re doing to themselves.

[questioningtransman]

Not to be “not like other transes” but the trans community confuses me these days. Like, pick an argument. Either gender is fluid or it’s something you’re born with. Either gender is a social construct or it’s an innate part of who you are and you were always your gender. Either you don’t need to medically transition to be valid and your body has no relation to your gender, or children need to medically transition as soon as possible or their fate is suicide. Either pronouns have no correlation to gender or misgendering is denying your identity. Either detransitioners were never trans in the first place or if you think you’re trans you probably are.

The community fought through ridicule from right wingers to use AFAB/AMAB, words previously only used for intersex people, and now it’s offensive. We fought for gender identity and how apparently saying you identify as a gender was invented by cis people to invalidate us. FTM and MTF were common for years and are now considered offensive by some. Some people are trying to deny that gendered socialization or the differences in male and female bodies don’t exist.

None of these are universal truths, and yet anyone who holds a slightly different opinion from what is correct at whatever moment is shunned. It’s just ridiculous and I’m sick of it.

[pcos-and-gender-survey]

PCOS Survey 2021 Results

Hello everyone! I'm happy to announce that the data analysis of this year's survey is complete!

The entire document is 126 Google Doc pages; however, much of this space is dedicated to charts and tables. There are some points with heavy text, however.

At the very end of the document, there's a 2-page conclusion that covers the main points in point-form. It is not nearly as thorough as the rest of the document, but you can get the general idea of the patterns found there. For the conclusion, I only covered data for multiple-choice questions; there is no information about the written responses in the conclusion. I did this for the sake of simplicity and time.

To navigate the document more easily, open the document outline on the left side of the screen. Here, you will find all the headings through the document. If you would like to jump to a particular section, this is the best way to do so!

The link to the results document can be found below (TW/CW for mentions of gender dysphoria, gender euphoria, experiences with both, medical trauma, and a possibility for transphobic and/or TERF beliefs in written responses. If anyone sees anything else that should be mentioned here, please contact me and I will edit this post):

[LINK] https://docs.google.com/document/d/1JRHWk3dQDzZO8uHs5JmCCS-81XStdAe7v-yF3Rvf2oc/edit?usp=sharing

I will be putting this post in my queue for at least 1-2 weeks, possibly longer. If you wish to not see reblogs of this post, blacklist the tag "#2021 survey results"

[feminismandmedia]

Very interesting. Reading through, I do suspect that some of the people who said no it is not an intersex condition might be TERFs from how they wrote. So, not surprised on that. 😅

[lunarbun-deactivated20250414]

I had never personally heard of PCOS being considered an intersex condition before taking this survey. As a woman with PCOS, I don't personally consider myself to be intersex, largely because from my research the medical community has not reached a consensus to consider it as such, and because it does not appear to me that my experience of gender, my body, the medical system, etc. has much in common with how intersex people experience these things (while understanding there's a lot of variety in individual experiences). The label doesn't feel like a good fit, in short. But much like how some ace people don't want to identify with "queer" or "lgbtq+" and some do (I do), I think that this is a personal choice, based on personal experience and who you identify with, and it takes nothing away from either group to either call yourself that or not.

I did skim over the results of the survey, and have bookmarked it to read more thoroughly later, but I would be interested to see others' thoughts on PCOS as an intersex condition if anyone wants to share.

[questioningtransman]

Honestly, no, I don’t see PCOS as an intersex condition. Reading through the survey, many people stated that they considered it such because it caused elevated androgen levels, but I agree that it’s kind of inappropriate. That’s like saying that HRT made me intersex, because I now have elevated testosterone.

Secondary sex characteristics are indicators of sex, but there are plenty of hairy women, with disrupted fertility or inconsistent periods without PCOS. It’s a reproductive health condition, but one that usually affects AFAB people who are not intersex.

[ptactwo]

"gnc straight man being called a faggot doesn't experience homophobia" what the fuck are you talking about. there's absolutely no logic in anything like that. we have kids who literally killed themselves because of homophobic abuse in schools and you would dare to tell them it isn't homophobia that killed them because they weren't actually gay? insane. and so fucking cruel

[deadryn]

I need some of y'all to remember this:

Oppression is not dictated by who you are, but by how the oppressor percieves you. You don't have to be a woman to be a victim of misogyny, you don't have to be gay to be a victim of homophobia.

[ti-bae-rius]

Yes, @mrquackman exactly that

Image ID: a comment from user mrquackman which reads “a bullet fired at the wrong person is still a billet fired at someone.” End ID.

[questioningtransman]

Not to Discourse but this is also exactly what we mean when we talk about trans men and non binary people facing misogyny. Just because we aren’t women doesn’t mean that society doesn’t see us that way, so we can still face those issues.

[probablyasocialecologist]

“People who oppose trans healthcare rely on fear-mongering language around gender affirming surgeries, using words like “irreversible” and “sterilizing” and making comparisons to mutilation. But bodies go through irreversible changes all the time, from puberty and aging to appendectomies and tonsillectomies. “It’s a fantasy that the cis body is some sort of organic, naturally developing body that just perfectly unfolds according to nature’s plan, and never undergoes any sorts of significant changes,” says Gill-Peterson. “The human body is fundamentally biologically plastic.””

— Kait Sanchez, The bad science behind trans healthcare bans

[questioningtransman]

Sorry, but the human body is not plastic. There are side effects to medical transition that I’ve had to deal with, and I’ve had to make my peace with them. I know people who’ve had to come off hormones because of the health impact. There’s nothing wrong with accepting that. In fact, it’s allowed me to make choices that can mitigate those effects, to change my diet or exercise routine or whatever other things to make sure that I can be as healthy as possible. T may very well take years off my life, but for me that was worth it. Living in denial of that fact is not going to do me or my health any favors.

[questioningtransman]

Does anyone else remember the tumblr drama where one of the biggest transmed blogs (drakensburg) faked committing suicide. Everyone believed it until I think transmansable exposed them to not only not be dead, but also that he was a cis woman

[questioningtransman]

Sex isn’t a “social construct” in the way the internet is implying. Most people who argue that have political reasons and/or have very little understanding of human biology. It isn’t meaningless to your health or how your body functions.

Arguing that sex isn’t a social construct doesn’t invalidate trans people. Honestly I think arguing it does causes more harm to us because it ignores the side effects of HRT, our unique health needs, and stops us from accepting ourselves and our bodies because it’s a rework of cisnormativity. We are not indistinguishable from cis people, we are not cis. we have different bodies with different needs and there’s nothing wrong with that.

[questioningtransman]

Hot take but I don’t really think kink at pride is appropriate.

Some people are acting like it’s just people in dog masks but there are people engaging in sexual behaviour. Honestly, I also think adults engaging in behavior that usually gets them off in front of minors and children is blurring boundaries that I don’t think should be blurred.

I also think there are deeper issues here. Like the fact that kink is seen as inherently LGBT and there are a bunch of cishets who think that participating in kink makes them queer. But even more importantly, young LGBT people seeing kink being ubiquitous in LGBT spaces and thinking that it’s part of being gay.

There’s a big issue with young people engaging in degrading, dangerous, uncomfortable, unenjoyable and controlling sexual practices in order to cope with past trauma, self-hatred, low self esteem or sexual abuse. These are all things that are huge in young LGBT people especially. A lot of us are traumatized and hurting, and especially vulnerable.

Honestly, I personally think there’s something very demeaning and escapist about pretending to be a dog to engage in sexual practice (correct me if I’m wrong here, I don’t know the ins and outs of kink), and there might be deeper issues at play.

I know it might seem like a stretch to link people at pride dressed up with the issues I’ve brought up. But the reason I’m saying this is because no one is really talking about it. I’m open to other perspectives as long as you’re being respectful.

[questioningtransman]

What do people think about trans athletes competing as the gender they identify as?

I know it sucks but I remember in school the (cis) boys would demolish the (cis) girls whenever they played together. I don’t understand how cis girls would have even the slightest chance, unless a trans girl was on blockers from childhood?

[worstgirleva]

christmas without hrt is just cismas 😔