The Quintessential Gentleman

Being a Male is a matter of birth. Being a Man is a matter of age. Being a Gentleman is a matter of choice.

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Skin

‘Touch comes before sight, before speech. It is the first language & the last, and it always tells the truth’- Margaret Atwood

The history of skincare spans over a time of 6 millennia. The earliest mirrors were found in Anatolia (Turkey) and archeological evidence of cosmetics were discovered in Ancient Egypt. Various herbs, oils and fragrances were used to adorn the human body and cultures worldwide learned to preserve and enhance beauty in multitude of ways. Men and women took part in what was viewed as a ritual.

The present cosmetic industries are booming like never before, marketing mainly to women. Over the last few years male cosmetics have become more prominent. Major designers like Tom Ford have complete lines that cater to men. As men we are constantly exposing ourselves to the elements by shaving and exposing our skin to harsh weather, there is hardly any time for our skin to recuperate and in the long term it shows aging.

There are various methods in which we can improve and preserve our skin, to nourish our body it is important to focus on nutrition to help our body repair and renew skin as well as protect and replenish the outer skin itself.

Nutrition

A balanced diet will provide mental and physical nourishment. The major vitamins and minerals can be obtained from fruits and vegetables, key components to focus on include vitamins A, C & E that reduce damage caused by free radicals, a group of molecules that can damage skin and cause aging. Omega-3 Fatty acids help the outer layer of the skin stay strong and helps the skin combat toxins from entering. Furthermore if you find it difficult to keep up with the daily intake of adequate nutrition, I highly suggest taking vitamin supplements. Look for organic, Non-GMO products as these generally do not contain artificial ingredients and are generally ethically produced. I suggest a daily multivitamin pack and fish oil should suffice your bodies needs.

Grooming

Invest in a proper body scrubber that will help exfoliate your skin while in the shower, preferably two in which one can be used as an application to the face. Make sure to use a less coarse scrubber to use for the face. Exfoliation will help get rid of the dead skin cells on the surface and provide a region for the new skin cells to replenish and grow.

Use a good face cleanser that does not over dry your skin, Kiehl’s facial fuel is my go to cleanser, it is not harsh and has a pleasant fragrance that leaves you refreshed throughout the day. Neutrogena face wash is another brand I really like and retails close to $6 it is  the best value for it’s price.

After washing your face and you plan on shaving remember to apply a toner preferably rose water with the addition of glycerin and cotton pads to remove dirt from pores, this should be applied after a close shave and rose water also helps soothe the skin. Organic rose water could be purchased anywhere online from Amazon or if you want to try it out at a retail store, Lush sells a very good brand. Seek turkish, Iran, Bulgarian or Moroccan rose water, they are the best in the market.

Depending on whether it is day or night I tend to lean towards a moisturizer that is spf 15 or greater. Kiehl’s has an amazing moisturizer that is gentle and not greasy at all. It retails from $25-$40 depending on the volume. I really like Mario Badescu products, the best of which is Hyaluronic moisturizer spf 15 which retails around $24. Hyaluronic acid and vitamin C are agents required for skin repair , Vitamin C in particular helps in collagen formation keeping your skin tight and elastic and slows down the progression in aging.

Finally, generally twice a week I look to use a more coarse facial scrub, these have microbeads in them that act as a rough agent to help further exfoliate your skin, St Ives apricot scrub will do the trick and it is not necessary to spend too much money based on brands however if you are looking for a scented option Kiehl’s makes a good scrub as well.

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Taming the Mane

Hair plays a huge role in how the modern gentleman is portrayed in society.

In the time of Confucius, the Chinese grew out their hair and often tied it, as a symbol of filial piety.

It symbolizes religious beliefs, a sign of fertility and in general a symbol of status. In modern times there is something that supersedes all of these various reasons to maintain your hair, and that is ‘Individuality’.

Hair can reconstruct your entire face without the need of any surgical intervention. Besides it is the most customizable aspect of your body why not have fun with it?

I have compiled a collection of grooming skills that will help you maintain clean proper hair and in a future segment we shall discuss about hair product and different styles.

1. Washing your hair

How often should you wash your hair? Experts say roughly three times a week. However this varies based on the region you live, your lifestyle and condition of your scalp. A person that has an oily scalp, exercises routinely and lives in a humid environment would need to wash their hair more often.

hair produces a natural oil known as sebum, shampoo acts as an emulsifier that removes this oil leaving the hair dry. Sebum is important, it provides protection against sunlight and other elements.

The best products do not contain sulfates that are strong detergents, these help shampoo foam so a general rule is to avoid shampoos that foam too much. Propylene glycol is another detergent that degrades proteins and is highly detrimental to hair. Other harmful substances to watch out for are formaldehyde and isopropyl alcohol.

A good source to select a proper shampoo for your budget is to look at:

http://www.ewg.org/skindeep/

The website contains a database of major products and ranks them according to health/safety standards.

2. Moisturizing

To preserve the natural shine and volume of your hair, gentleman you need to nourish your hair. For centuries people have been using oils to nourish their hair and skin. In the Indian subcontinent the use of coconut oil is the gold standard. There is an actual science behind the use of this product. It has cooling properties on the scalp, it helps retain moisture, the fatty acids present in the oil acts as a natural anti-dandruff agent. If the smell bothers you, i highly recommend olive oil which acts as a good alternative. Other alternatives are the use of Argan oil and the yolk from the egg. I generally use olive oil once a week and massage the scalp and leave it in for twenty minutes before washing. Avoid using harsh products that claim to remove dandruff, this can be tackled through proper moisturizing and shampooing.

3. Keeping it Tidy

Gentleman nothing looks worse and unclean than hair dangling around your neckline, over your ears with no shape to it and unclean sideburns. The secret is simple best to go to a professional, a frequent visit and a sharp blade. I do understand that certain hairstyles require a longer length , but things like cleaning the neckline will make it more appealing. 

4. Styling it

A common question is what hair products should i use? This answer varies greatly based off your hair and what style you are looking to achieve. there can be three major styling products we can focus on : waxes, pomade and styling cream.

Wax in general is to give hair a strong hold , therefore if you are looking to spike it or hold at a certain angle this is your best friend.

Pomade is what i generally use and paul mitchell’s tea tree works well for me, with less shine and a decent stronghold so there is freedom for the hair to move.

Styling cream: give’s a very natural look , and definitely the most amount of freedom in terms of less hold and less shine. 

Regarding styling products, i shall write one in depth for my next post. In the mean time you can do your research on which products contain toxic agents. Regardless of how safe a product is, always remember to wash it off after use to prevent dandruff and hair damage.

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#gentleman #respect #honor

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Venture on a road trip, in style this summer.

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Scents of Summer

Perfume is the most intense form of memory - Jean Paul Guerlain

Summer is the season where memories are made. The smell of freshly cut grass, summer flowers , the occasional rainfall that gives the earthly smell, the smell of sea salt on a humid day by the shore all stimulate powerful memories. A good scent captures the essence of that moment with such strong precision, it will only be beneficial to look at an array of scents that will capture this essence. 

1 . Tom Ford- Neroli Portofino

This cologne gives that classic citrus burst which settles into a light eau de cologne formula. Opening notes include neroli, citrus, bergamot and lemon before eventually settling into a jasmine-mandarin bouquet with a little bit of rosemary and lavender. This is the ideal cologne for everyday casual daytime use for both men and women. A simple yet sophisticated feel.

1.7oz : $215  3.4oz : $295

2. Christian Dior- Dior Homme sport

A cologne for the younger population, there is an explosion of citrus, ginger and woods as in any traditional Dior fragrance, it is spicy and has a burst of freshness to it. The top notes are grapefruit, bergamot, elemi resin and Sicilian lemon.  The vetiver with ginger and lavender also make a strong presence. Ideally a cologne for the evenings while exploring the outdoors. 

1.7oz: $65  3.4oz: $85

Kilian- Prelude to Love

An exciting bouquet of citrus, the presence of bergamot and orange adds a bit of sweetness to the overall projection of the scent. The fragrance is long lasting and is unisex. A very effective and seductive daytime summer cologne.

1.7oz: $260

Prada- Luna Rossa

Intense expression of lavender and bitter orange with a touch of spearmint giving a cool effect. This is a very masculine fragrance and projects well. Best use for the daytime.

1.7oz: $64  3.4oz: $84

Versace-Pour homme

A very aromatic fragrance with predominated notes of lemon, neroli, bergamot and rose. Once the fragrance settles on your skin you will feel that warm sensation of amber, musk and tonka bean. A very summer/spring daytime cologne. 

1.7oz: $60  3.4oz: $79

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Tips to the Gentleman

Mirella Bint is a hair and makeup designer, stylist, journalist, accessories designer,  street-style photographer and founder of Mirellabint blog. She currently resides in Milan, Italy where she continues to aspire other artists.

I asked Mirella recently to write an article about common mistakes made by gentleman in terms of grooming and dressing. The following contains some sound advice on how to improve our style. 

Suit jacket too big

This is probably the most common men’s style mistake out there. Too often, men wear jackets that are far wider than their actual shoulders. Get a blazer that fits snug on your shoulder and let your tailor do the rest.

Over-Buttoning

Not only does it restrict movement, but it changes the natural silhouette of the jacket.

The 2 Button Suit

The rule of two button suit is simple, always button the top button, never the bottom button. The reason being is this will extenuate your figure and make your shoulders look broader.

The Double Beasted suit

The double breasted suits is one of the best silhouettes a man could wear. Button the top and center buttons, leaner gentleman must have the suit tailored around the center to give a snug fit.

Sleeves/trousers too long

Your sleeves should show about half an inch of cuff and your pants should have little to no break. This will actually elongate your figure and make you appear taller than you actually are.

T-shirts under dress shirts

The combination completely ruins the visual line a dress shirt creates and actually makes the wearer look wider.

The solution: wear something that is not showing for example a v-neck or none at all.

Athletic socks with a suit

Wearing appropriate and interesting socks is a great way to add a jolt of personality to any look. When you’re wearing a suit, match the color of the socks to the pants, not You’re shoes. 

View : https://mirellabint.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/statement-socks/

Dirty Shoes

Anyone else look at someone’s shoes before their face? It’s an area that too many men overlook in terms of cleaning and proper care. A stylish man keeps his shoes clean-free of scratches and dirt.

Wearing running shoes outside the gym

Generally speaking, activewear should not be daywear. This rule holds true especially when it comes to wearing running shoes. For a more comforting alternative pick up a pair of cool sneakers.

Flip Flops

Keep the flip-flops forthe pool and go for a casual pair of driving moccasins this summer or fashionable velvet slippers ( my absolute favorite).

Backpacks

When you’re a student and you need to schlep around 10 pounds of books each day, a backpack is precisely the bag you need. But once the college glory days are over save the backpack for camping.

Shorts

Most women are not a big fan of shorts on guys, but if you are wearing them, they look better when they are just above the knee ( not hanging halfway down your calf or too short).

Wrinkled clothing

unless you’re going for the ‘I sleep in these clothes’ effect , keep all your clothes pressed and wrinkle-free. It’s a good habit to always hang up all your clothes.

Dirty nails

Some men just don’t take proper care of their hands. If you work outdoors or lift weights, wear gloves and use lotion on your hand whenever you can. Keep your fingernails trim and free of hangnails, cracked cuticles and dirt.

Not taking care of that unibrow

Keeping your eyebrows groomed is just as important as the hair on top of your head. Use a tweezer and pluck any hair above the nose.

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Sound advice 

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Eye Care

Let my soul smile through my heart and my heart smile through my eyes, that I may scatter rich smiles in sad hearts.- Paramahansa Yogananda

The eyes are a gateway to your soul and no matter how immaculate you are in your appearance, tired eyes will give the game away. A number of reasons cause tired looking eyes some of these factors include poor diet, climate and stresses on our skin. The main reason your eyes look tired is the skin surrounding it. It is the thinnest layer on the face and hence the most vulnerable, this region does not have the luxury to hydrate itself as it lack sebaceous glands (oil producing) . The eyes hence often appear puffy and we form dark circles.

Dark circles are caused by blood retention caused by fatigue, lack of sleep or stress, dehydration in which veins and blood vessel start to show underneath the thin skin. In order to address this issue we must induce cooling, hydrating and invigorating effects on this region of the eye.

Sun protection

Sunglasses! Not only a fashion statement but a proper pair can protect your eyes from UV radiation and damaging your cornea as well as lens. On a more serious note the eyelids are so thin it can be easily damaged and make you prone to even cancers such as melanoma’s. Opt for polarized lenses with the proper hue , this will not only reduce glare but also distinguish between colors by not changing the surroundings too much. Most sunglasses in the market provide UV protection, which is it’s most important feature in order to prevent eye damage. Remember that a larger diameter glass usually works better in order to cover maximum surface area around your eyes and make sure the fit is snug on your ears & nose, comfort will make your wear it more often than not.

Dark circles

There are some quick home remedies that work well with dark circles, it may not provide long term relief but when you do need it, it serves as a quick fix.

Caffeinated green tea :

The use of tea sachets thats have been soaked in water and refrigerated can provide immediate relief to the eyes. Caffeine helps in vasoconstriction around the eyelids and prevents puffiness and agents such as antioxidants and tannins help lighten dark circles.

Sweet potatoes & lemon:

You will find the chemicals in this in numerous multiple high end extracts that may well cost you hundreds of dollars. It comes down to a simple two key ingredients , the presence of hyaluronic acid and vitamin C. Hyaluronic acid helps retain moisture by keeping elastin and collagen moist promoting a youthful appearance. Skin underneath the eyelid is a commonly used to indicate if you are not getting enough hydration, hence it impairs the skins function to transport nutrient and solutes, which impairs repair. Implement both in your diet and you shall in time see changes along with other healthy practices.

The biggest take home message I would like to convey to all my fellow gentleman is to reduce exposure to risk factors such as smoking , excessive drinking and an improper diet. What you put inside your body is truly what shows on the outside. Adequate sleep, exercise and meditation will not only improve your skin, but make it glow more prominently if your soul is nourished.

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Fatherhood, the ultimate responsibility and honor of a man . Build a better world . 

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Disarming parts of the Suit

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fight a battle within,to win a war outside. 

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A multitude of Suit & Shoe combinations to pair well with your fabrics and give you the ‘complete’ look. 

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A man that does 'all' he can, that's a hero.

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Career: The clinical years in Medicine

Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity. -Hippocrates

Career plays a big role in our lives, it has become the very essence these days to keep us moving forward , to pave a way to a better society and build stronger understandings with communities outside ours. Medicine is one such field, constantly changing and we as the future and face of the art must adapt and gain from experience what our seniors have learned. I therefore asked one of my closest friends, mentor and family member Dr. Greg to write a guest post about life in the clinical years of medicine. Ladies & Gentleman of medicine I hope this inspires you. 

The USMLE & Clinical Year’s 

I was asked by Mishal to write a bit about “life in the clinical years.” I am a resident physician working in New York. For many of you reading this, right now you are in the pre-clinical years of medical school. You got here and got this far by being bull-headed enough to want to do this, but it is easy for even the most fervent of motivations to wane as you proceed through the two year long spanking machine known as the preclinical years. What I say to every medical student — especially those just starting out — is that every year gets progressively better. Year 1 is anatomy, physiology, biochem, etc. which can be interesting, though not nearly as interesting as directly clinically translatable information you learn as a second-year medical student. I think the most remarkable thing I noticed as a second year was that glancing at the New England Journal of Medicine didn’t seem like it was looking at a journal written in Chinese — I could understand almost all of it!

The third year is when things get VERY interesting. Really, your job as a third year student is to show up on time. That’s really it. You are there to learn and to kind of “try on” a few specialties. There are exams, but it gets much easier to study for it. The first time you see Pre-eclampsia, or COPD, or Heart Failure, or Pneumonia or a ruptured appendix — you won’t forget it. Especially when you can fix a face to the diagnosis. Everything comes together. The endless facts you memorized for all these years finally coalesce into something that can finally help somebody. You have to wake up MUCH EARLIER than you used to, but it is fine, everyone does it. You just sleep earlier and/or less. You’d think it is impossible to do, but it really isn’t. You get to do amazing things, like catch a baby, or hold the hand of a dying patient. People look at you differently with your white coat on, and you learn how to fill those big shoes. But when you don’t know something, it is fine to say so.

My advice as you approach Step 1 — just keep in mind that the best way to learn anything in medicine is through a patient. Like I mentioned  earlier, you won’t forget it when you can attach a name to a face. Yes this does not help you now, and I realize that. However, remembering this can help you with the next best thing — questions. Doing questions actively challenges and engages your brain in manner similar to meeting a patient. When you see a similar question in the future, you will remember other questions like it that you have completed in the past. The more questions you do, the more you will recognize that there are only so many ways medical knowledge can be tested, and you will find that many questions begin repeating themselves. The more questions you do, the better prepared you will be. That’s the best advice I can give any medical trainee.

Everyone says you have to finish UWorld or some other qbank when you study for boards. You’ll find that after the first 1000 questions, things begin repeating! (1000 sounds like a lot, but it isn’t, everyone does it, and so can you.) What if you did 3000 questions? When you get to the boards, there will be almost nothing you haven’t seen before. When you do the questions, be sure to review the ones you get wrong. Write down one very concise sentence in a journal or a word document (again, another way of active learning) the one morsel of information you needed to know to get that questions right.

Reflecting on the pre-clinical years, I remember being frustrated with the minutiae of super specific details that I thought I’ll never use. Certainly if you become an orthopedic surgeon the pathophysiology of diabetes may not be relevant to your field once you have completed training.  However every trainee is expected to know it, because at some point in your career, you will have to use that knowledge. Even if you are a pathologist or a radiologist, far removed from the bedside, the details of clinical training are essential to know to communicate professionally and cogently with your colleagues. I can’t stress that enough. Learning all the details now isn’t a waste.

You have chosen to do something important, and hard. Trust me though, it is worth it. Just don’t forget, every year gets better. There is a light at the end of the tunnel!

Dr. Greg.

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The Secret 7 Tips to Suit up

“Know first who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly.”- Epictetus

The modern day armor and a must have for every modern gentleman, the word ‘suit’ originates from French meaning ‘following’. Suits have evolved over the years in order to be dressed up, or down for any occasion. They all have a few fundamental rules to follow by and that is what we will be focusing on to make that regular suit look like one you just bought from a bespoke tailor in Savile Row. 

1. Matching fabrics

A rookie mistake amongst most suit buyers especially when buying over the counter ready made suits is to buy the pants separately, this not only may vary slightly in color and density but also fabric. The feel of the suit is just as important as the way it looks. Avoid pants with pleats as they make you look bulky. 

2. Two button coats

There is no secret in how to wear and present yourself in a two button coat, yet time and time again we see gentleman button up both, this is an error , you always want to leave the bottom button undone, it’s for show only and a chance to flaunt that perfect belt which should match your shoes. While sitting down unbutton the top as well.

3. Stick to Subtle Colors

There are always the raw basics a man should have in his wardrobe, when it comes to suits a few colors that will enable you to mix and match would be charcoal, navy, black and grey. Use shirts and ties to mix and match, you will see how versatile a single suit can really be. Skip the loud pin stripes or bold patterns for the time being, there is a place and setting for that set of attire and will be discussed in another segment.

4. The Right Size

Too big & long are one of the biggest mistakes you can make when buying a suit. When buying a suit remember your size is really a function of chest measurement and height. Target these regions first when buying a suit, the rest can be fiddled with minor adjustments by a tailor if required. The suit must hug your frame as close as possible without being tight, a good rough estimate of this would be to stretch the top button out further and see if you have a one inch breathing space, this is a good guide to see if it is the perfect fit.

5. The Tailored finish

You don't necessarily have to shell thousands of dollars for a nice suit. Although many of us would love to delve in the fabrics of Tom Ford, Versace, Armani and Valentino it does not fit most of our budgets. However, fear not , even a suit from retailers such as Zara, Calvin Klein and Topman can be adjusted by a tailor in such a way that it gives you the bespoke look. Key things that can be changed is the length of the pants, we do not want it drooping down covering the footwear. Another key aspect to look sharp is to remove floppy fabric at the waist  and shorten the sleeves of your jacket if it is longer than your shirt.   

6. Pocket Squares

This truly adds that extra bit of finesse to a suit only if executed correctly. Do not try to match your tie with your pocket square, this is too one dimensional and your not wearing a uniform. The pocket square should be your cherry to the cake, be bold and extravagant! you could go simple or be loud, it truly is your choice but it has to be somewhat uniform with the suit hence match it in terms of color, pattern and fabric.

7. The dress shirt

The shirt is just as important as the whole suit, my philosophy is that if your comfortable so will you appear to others around you, therefore invest in good quality shirts with proper collar which come in three of my favorite varieties: the button down, straight & Tab. Tuck your shirt properly in and avoid pleating them over your belt, this just looks tacky.

Time to take on the world! Be selective and experiment to find your own look by using these fundamentals as guidance.

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'The trouble is, you think you have time'- Lord Buddha

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Being Charismatic

'Your magnificence has made me a wonder. Your charm has taught me the way of love'- Rumi

The word Charisma stems from the greek meaning 'the gift of grace'. A modern day interpretation of the word will give you the feeling of a compelling attractiveness/charm that can inspire devotion in others. I however prefer to address this art of being charismatic & charming as a divine bestowed power with the ability to transfer positive energy towards the same and opposite sex. 

Being charming cannot be taught, however certain gestures, mentality and being positive can push you in the right direction and once you have confidence in yourself, you will see that resonate with others. A couple of important tips to remain focused on this path is what i will be trying to address here. Gentleman, let us begin.

1. Smile

Non-verbal communication is key, smiling has no language or cultural barriers. Use this to your advantage but most importantly be genuine. Be that guy who walks into the room and your presence is felt, not in an intimidating way but in a way that disarms people from not engaging with you. A smile is a social cue that could lead to a good conversation and leave an everlasting impression on individuals you want to be associated with in your life. 

2. Grooming

When you feel good about yourself, you will feel good about interacting with others. Take a shower, smell good and wear good clean clothing. Take pride in your appearance. A sure way to reduce anxiety in yourself and behavior is when you know your at your best and you can now focus on others more clearly.

3. Address the person by their name & be a social fascilitator.

Eye contact and constantly addressing the person by their name will not only show that you are listening and interested in the conversation but also create a lasting impression as most people don't use names in the middle of a conversation. Be the exception! Just do not overdo it, be subtle about it. If you are conversing where more than one person is present , make sure to introduce people to one another. You will be remembered as the person that introduced them to each other and introductions can be beneficial in the professional and personal sense. Be socially intelligent!

4. Put others in the spotlight & compliment

Do not hijack a conversation and make yourself the topic, give others and probe to make them talk about themselves and show that you are a good listener. Give sincere compliments and do not put yourself in a position to force one out, if the person is not good at taking compliments , just move on to another topic gracefully. Many of us are worse at receiving compliments, think of it as receiving a gift. Accept it gracefully and say a simple 'thank you'.

5. Get fired up

Show enthusiasm in whatever you do and genuine interest if you find the opposite person intriguing. Common interests are the best ground to showcase this. Show your excitable side whether it be interests in travel, sport or even collecting stamps. There is nothing more exhilarating than a passionate person. 

6. Know how to touch

Probably the most powerful tool of all, if used correctly. It can be used as a tool to reinforce a point being made. However, it is important to be aware of the persons comfort level with you, do not try to be overly intimate and safe places are usually the arm, shoulder and hands. Touch should be light and brief. This by far is the hardest skill to achieve and depends entirely on comfort levels, if used appropriately it is incredibly charming.