Things I said today

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That's a nose ring but it's a dildo

AlienTM

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Sly block of cheese rye bangle

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My eyes are the window pain into the sole of my shoe

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Nap it and gap it

How to run away from your problems but get a well deserved rest first

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Three people in the cult room at a time thank you

Playgrounds are fun

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I was wearing sunglasses so they probably couldn't tell that I was 12.

Dancing

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I'm totes pro fro

I like pineapple on pizza

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Wait, so if I had a belly button piercing would I get pregnant more or less?

the real question in life

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The dog in the fire is a lifestyle

“it’s fine” he says while sitting in a room in flames

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Are toilets recreational?

One of the important questions in life (or at least my geo class)

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For a small budget, they sure spent a lot on aluminium foil and fireworks

the Olympic opening ceremony

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3 cheers for the guy with 10 chairs

He got distracted by my cheering and dropped the chairs

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Why can't the tuba just get itself on the bandwagon for once?

Band member

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You're my number one beige

When they think they b ur bae but they actually ur beige

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Sport is my asymptote

Me as a graph

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why must you gender my eyebrows?

theres 2

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*pats leg violently* prepare to be confiscated

Maori land confiscation