um

[blameaspartame-deactivated20200]

Whup Tee Doo

[zackisontumblr]

Jo Ann has had ENOUGH

[brotherslug-deactivated20190730]

[firedrill]

me: *wants to live a minimalist life with little to no clutter*

also me: I'm keeping this math assignment from 5th grade I might need it later.

[valtsv]

i hate it when people ask “what’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done?” like. awfully bold of you to assume i’ve reached peak dumbass.

[therightprometheanfire]

American Children: Hey, can we be murdered a little less please?

Republicans: What the fuck? What about my guns? What about me, a person innocently playing with my death-machines as a hobby? I am the real victim here. Kids these days are so entitled…

[cowboyemojis]

[thatgirlneedsaxanax]

I just wanna say… From the bottom of my heart… Get the fuck away from me if you have bad intentions

[penisandballs-deactivated201602]

by the end of 2016 “social media” will be replaced by enjoying a nice ginger ale

[bunyatta]

who was the asshole that decided tattoos looked unprofessional 

[madeonstuck-deactivated20140307]

WHY ARENT THERE ADULT-SIZED PLAYGROUNDS

LIKE EVERYTHING IS THE SAME AS A KIDS PLAYGROUND

BUT BIGGER

WHY DO WE NOT HAVE THOSE

[geek-in-a-box]

theme parks. just. theme parks.

[samielcastiel]

but u have to pay for theme parks

[victorysunshine-blog-blog]

that’s the adult part

[santhipoma]

son of a bitch

[tpt-moved]

ladies and gentlemen, behold

the St. Louis City Museum:

Playground for adults and children.

They even serve alcohol.

[twinkletwinkleyoulittlefuck-dea]

I know where we’re going guys

[little-cyes-2]

Over the years we've had a variety of odd pairs

We have a frog and a pig

a rabbit and a promiscuously drawn woman

a donkey and a dragon

a shape shifting dog and a rainbow unicorn

these two

and a warthog with a meerkat who raise a lion cub

But no one will ever accept the Bee Movie

[arianagrandesource]

May 26th: Ariana’s comment on Millie Bobby Brown’s Instagram post of her kissing her boyfriend

[ugly]

employer: so what would you say is your biggest weakness?

me: probably just like who I am as a person

[emjineer]

So my boss once robbed a museum to prove a point and honestly, I think she is my new role model. 

[emjineer]

If this gets notes I’ll tell the full story

[marry-and-mirthful]

Storu

[emjineer]

Many years ago, my boss was working at this museum and they had these original Churchill documents on display. These documents are worth millions of dollars… The only thing separating the public from these documents was a sheet of glass secured with 4 philips head screws. Seriously. No security guards in the room, no cameras, just an easily removable piece of glass. 

My boss pointed out the security concern, but she wasn’t taken seriously, so she took matters into her own hands. 

She bought a ticket and  pretended to be a guest. She entered through the main entrance with a huge drill clearly visible on her belt, went straight to the documents and opened the case with the drill. (While  wearing gloves,) she removed the documents, put them in a folder, reattached the glass, and walked out the main exit.  Literally no one even questioned her.

 She immediately went around to the back of the museum, entered using the staff entrance and went straight to her boss’s office.  She dropped the folder on his desk and said “I just stole these in 15 minutes“

Once he was done being mad at her, he listened and the museum increased security. 

[loneliestgirl15]

People need to STOP looking at me

[latesummermoon]

Mood since I was 12 years old

[just-shower-thoughts]

I feel like an adult brain in 2017 processes more information in one morning than an adult brain in 1817 did in one month.

[vagabonds-and-troubadours]

yeah thats why we all have anxiety now

[little-cyes-2]

Over the years we've had a variety of odd pairs

We have a frog and a pig

a rabbit and a promiscuously drawn woman

a donkey and a dragon

a shape shifting dog and a rainbow unicorn

these two

and a warthog with a meerkat who raise a lion cub

But no one will ever accept the Bee Movie