#something something the scene in the bathroom in season two when nancy calls steve out on his “let’s try to be normal because i don’t want to face the things that happened to us because then it’ll make it real and then i won’t be normal” bullshit and made him face all of the little cracks in the perfect image he kept trying to show people when he was clearly struggling with the weight of everything and how if it weren’t for that one night in the bathroom where nancy was so fucking drunk and so fucking tired of pretending like any of that made them happy when it didn’t, he would have never been at the wheeler’s that one day dustin needed someone to help him, dustin would have never went looking for him at scoops to ask for help with the russians, robin would never have been roped into it all and they wouldn’t have become Steve and Robin, they would’ve simply just been co-workers, or not even that at all - just like they talked about. and steve - steve looked so fucking heartbroken when robin told him that they sat near each other for a year and he never even noticed because in his core steve had always been just. lonely. tommy h was never his friend, carol was never his friend, he didn’t like who he was when he was with those people, not like he likes being robin’s schmuck. not like he likes babysitting a bunch of mean teenagers. not like he likes being dustin henderson’s big brother. not like he likes running straight into danger to protect the people he cares about. because then he doesn’t feel lonely. and he probably thinks about all of the time that he’s wasted with people he didn’t even like trying to hold up an image that doesn’t even matter in the end when he could’ve just. been hanging out with the “band nerds” he made fun of around his pool to try and “impress” nancy the whole time. because robin is a band nerd and robin has made him laugh harder than he’s laughed in a long time, and robin was a baby who took six months longer to learn how to walk, the same way that he was a baby who crawled backwards because it made sense to him. robin who has a mother who criticizes her for things she cannot change, the same way he has a dad that doesn’t really care about him. the same robin who never had a friend who knew her the way she always wanted to be known and accepted and loved her anyway, the same way that he has never had a friendship (that was his own age*) that just. saw him at his worst. hated him, even. but got to know him, aka the steve post breakup and the steve who wears a sailor outfit and the steve whose best friend is a 13 year old and is surrounded by kids who love him so much and. stays. and trusts him. because she likes who he is when he’s not being, you know, “Bullshit Steve”. and so when steve says “i should’ve been hanging out with this girl the whole time”, in my head, it really just translates as “i wish i had known you sooner because then maybe i wouldn’t have been so lonely and things could have been - not better because this is hawkins - but. not as bad.” and you know he really means it because he’s the dingus waking up at dawn just to drive robin to school and wait around until he has to work every single morning because thank GOD nancy wheeler got drunk and called him bullshit in the bathroom of a halloween party….. or whatever you know like i’m totally cool about steve harrington and robin buckley’s Platonic with a Capital P soulmatism anyway lol
tangentwithtanner
ellievsbear
snowghoul
