@rabidtanuki - Tumblr Blog

Hiatus notice.

Will be gone until I am better. Finally convinced I need to get professional help. Deleting blog won’t change anything, I’ve been told, and kinda agree, so I will just leave it here for now. A thank-you to everyone who’s been so supportive and kind.

#text post #hiatus notice #thanks

Thanks everyone.

@kaoruyogi @lupalavellan @elevanetheirin and @adurna0 (Sorry, it won’t let me @ you), I was going to reply individually to thank you for your kind words, but I ran out of energy. Sorry.

#text post

About rejection letter. Negative rant warning.

So I submitted my application for that Dragon Age Zine project a while back, and just saw their rejection email this morning. I wish I could use this to fire up my motivation to get better at drawing, but I just don’t have the emotional strength to do that right now. It was a generic rejection letter, and I am not blaming them when I say that I wish the message had included the reasons (skill level, style, my OC or the Tarot card choice etc.) so I knew which area to focus on. (Kind of like job application...though they generally only tell you “There were better candidates” or something similar.)

Again, I’m not faulting them, they are super super busy and I appreciate what they are doing and for what purpose (they are donating all profits to what I consider a very good and timely cause). And also, if you are reading this and have made the cut, congrats!!! I know the kind of love and creativity my artist/writer mutuals and followers put in their OC’s so I’m excited for them to appear on a big project like this <3

The problem is with me and my inability to process rejection very well, and without specific reasons given and in my current state, I can’t keep myself from taking it as a blanket rejection of everything about my art...another confirmation that my art just doesn’t cut it, it just isn’t good enough, it doesn’t a single element that is unique or stands out. I really wish I could make myself feel “Damn it, I WILL get better” until I no longer feel this way even if my art gets rejected again and again. I think writers trying to get published must go through this every time they submit their story and do not get published. I guess the difference between artists/writers who get recognition or don’t depend on whether or not we keep going despite rejections and the inevitable self-doubt that comes from them.

I wish I could take myself far less seriously so I can take rejections much better. I wish I had the courage to just put myself out there to be rejected over and over and not hurt so much each time. I wish I could funnel my energy into working harder instead of sulking and beating myself up.

Anyway, tl;dr....I knew my art sucked but it still hurts to be told so. lol

#text post #negative rant #about rejection #back to the dark hole i go

kaoruyogi replied to your post “kaoruyogi replied to your post: Monthly follower...”

Hahaha yeah! I may not get back to you right away cause of bar prep, but of course! ^_^

Ohhhh good luck on your bar prep!

#kaoruyogi #rabid tanuki replies

kaoruyogi replied to your post: Monthly follower appreciation giveaway

Feel free to hmu anytime! ��

Are you sure Senpai

Are you

#kaoruyogi #rabid tanuki replies

Monthly follower appreciation giveaway

Jan 2017′s “Biggest Fans”, thank you so much! I am sorry I was so inactive this past month. I hope to change that in Feb.

(For anyone who doesn’t know, every month I offer to draw something for my “biggest fan” on the Tumblr’s activity stats thingie as a thank-you. So if you like my art, liking/reblogging/commenting on my posts throughout the month can get you a free drawing!)

@flowerbabytrevelyan, thank you so much for reblogging my drawings (new and old) with so many nice tags throughout the month while I lost my creative juice and wasn’t updating my blog (other than queued self-reblogs of old drawings). Your support means a lot to me not just because you like/reblog my stuff but because when I’m down, you are always there to give me sincere words of encouragement, understanding, and kindness (and thank you for the Ko-fi support too!).

Much <3 to you, and I’d be honored to draw something for you as a small thank-you :)

@pixiedurango, thank you always for being there. I really enjoy our shared love of the same characters (and sometimes hating the same things, too, like shooting games lol) <3

@elevanetheirin, thank you again for helping me start this year on a more positive note!

@kaoruyogi, thank you for your support! We’ve never talked but

#monthly follower appreciation giveaway #jan 2017 #flowerbabytrevelyan #pixiedurango #elevanetheirin #kaoruyogi

rabidtanuki

Terror in a handful of dust (Solas)

@nagia-pronounced-neijia told me about Sandman after seeing this I posted earlier and I just HAD TO create a different version :D I fixed some things that were bothering me and went “full-on fierce Fen’harel” mode. Also, added a purple overlay on top…random color suggested by @flowerbabytrevelyan and @captainceranna!

And I will show you something different from either Your shadow at morning striding behind you Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust.

~ T. S. Eliot

#self reblog #only time i managed to draw solas' face decently #solas #dragon age #dragon age inquisition

rabidtanuki

Magister Dorian Pavus (sketch)

I think the epilogue slide shows him with a beard but I gave him a snake earring instead :p

My first 2016 doodle post :)

khirsahle

Holy shit. This is stunning. Seriously, seriously stunning. And the style of it (so clear around his face, and going into more of an impression/sketch around the body) gave me immediate overwhelming feels. Because all I could imagine was a romanced Inquisitor drawing this during their long separation. The face–that beloved face–is perfect in all its detail because the Inquisitor spent so long in their shared, uncertain past when any day could be their last just watching Dorian and memorizing everything about him. Every quirk of his lips, the proud arch of a brow, the kindness in his eyes.

But the rest is just a hazy blur, because they’re so far apart, and he doesn’t know his lover’s wardrobe the way he used to be able to recognize every single one of Dorian’s many, many outfits before (including the plaidweave of which they do not speak), and his hand grows trembly as he thinks about the distance separating them, the long stretches of time between when they can see each other again, the aching loneliness filling him. It hits him hard, realizing he doesn’t know anything about Dorian when they used to share everything. It feels wrong. Such a simple thing, and it feels so wrong.

Later, when Cole creeps in to steal the sketch away for safekeeping (the Inquisitor has destroyed all the others, not wanting the evidence of his own love and pain to distract him) the lines of Dorian’s robes are smudged with tears until everything but that beautiful face is indistinct–like he’s a creature of mist. A creation of the Fade.

Like maybe he never existed at all.

And Cole wants to help, he does, but there’s nothing he can do but send the picture to Dorian with a note written in a spidery hand: Come back soon. He’s a shadow without you.

rabidtanuki

Editing and self-reblogging as @goldie-the-cat wrote this: “Requite” <3 Oh my…thank you so much! T.T

#self reblog #reblogging the version with the stories attached #because it was so special to me that they wrote for this doodle #dorian #post tresspasser #dragon age #dragon age inquisition

rabidtanuki

Bride of Fen’Harel (Daeris Lavellan)

I made her for Solas romance but I haven’t been able to play her. If she looks unhappy, that’s because she rarely shows emotion (she plucks her eyebrow so people can’t read her face) and also because her story is going to be tragic. >.<

Tagging @notallbloodmages as promised <3

Ref and texture credits under the cut.

Keep reading

#self reblog #i really want to write a story about her #but then i get lazy #daeris lavellan #my oc #dragon age #dragon age inquisition #fen'harel

rabidtanuki

Carver Mass Effect Crossover

Characters we love to hate / unpopular characters series #3 is Carver, as requested by @captainceranna, @khirsahle, @lupalavellan, and @cinder-ember.

I was feeling a bit left out on the N7 Day because I have never played Mass Effect series…and I thought, you know who else always feels a bit left out? CARVER!!! :D And yes I know there are some awesome DA/ME crossover drawings…I didn’t mean to “steal” their idea or anything. Carver in skin-tight suit just appealed to me is all XD

Thank you to @khirsahle for picking the armor and for the link to the reference pic. :)

#self reblog #i am playing ME1 now #carver #crossover #dragon age #mass effect #i guess this makes him an infiltrator?

rabidtanuki

Loving Days (Dragon Age rare ship sketches)

The other day I asked people to anonymously submit their secret rare ships they don’t get to talk about much or not at all, so here are some from that list.

Monday’s child is fair of face (Merrill x the Iron Bull) Tuesday’s child is full of grace (Josephine x Cullen) Wednesday’s child is full of woe (Samson x Inquisitor) Thursday’s child has far to go (The Architect x Utha) Friday’s child is loving and giving (Carver x Anders) Saturday’s child works hard for a living (Cullen x non-canon NPC, seamstress) (Krem x Scout Harding) But the child who is born on the Sabbath day Is fair and wise and good in every way. (Alistair x Morrigan) (Duncan x Warden)

#self reblog #my first rare pair ship drawings #and i got hooked on rare pairs #dragon age #rare pairs