Frustration and sobbing

Sam / she/he / minor / aroace lesbian

[unfuckyourhabitat]

Emergency cleaning: Unfuck your whole house in the shortest time possible

So, your landlord/parents/home inspector/favorite movie star is dropping by, and your place is a disaster. You don’t have much time to clean it up. You’re in emergency mode. Let’s get started.

Don’t panic. Panic leads to fear, fear leads to procrastination, procrastination leads to the dark side. You can do this, but you have to stay calm.

Unlike maintenance cleaning, we’re not looking to completely unfuck one space at a time. Instead, we want to decrease the overall mess in stages, spread evenly across the whole area that we’re concerned about. If you think your home is at Level 10 filth, we want to bring the whole thing down to a Level 9, and then down from there. One really clean spot in an otherwise messy home is not going to be helpful here.

Get prepared. You’ll want to shut the computer down (or turn the modem off if you need your computer to play music). Trust me. Get your music going. Gather up trash bags, your vacuum and mop, some rags or paper towel, sponges, and other cleaning supplies. Use what you have on hand. Don’t get distracted running to the store and spending an hour browsing cleaning supplies. A multi-purpose cleaning concentrate or a jug of vinegar will be just fine.

Breaks are very important. Depending on your time constraints, work in 20/10s (20 minutes working, 10-minute break) or 45/15s. But take breaks because otherwise you’re marathoning, and marathon cleaning is no one’s friend. Keep hydrated, don’t forget to eat, and check in with yourself frequently to make sure you’re physically doing OK.

Make your bed. This will be your home base if you get overwhelmed or need somewhere clear to take a break.

Start with the garbage. Going from room to room, throw out anything that is obvious trash. Once you fill a bag, take it out. Repeat as many times as necessary.

Move on to dishes. Gather the dishes from all over your house and bring them to the kitchen. If you can, start them soaking in a sink of hot, soapy water or start loading the dishwasher. After the dishes are all in one place, spend one 20/10 getting started getting them under control.

Now it’s time for your flat surfaces. Countertops, tables, dresser tops, etc. Clear them off and wipe them down. Don’t get distracted in too much sorting and organizing. We’re in crisis mode here. There will be time to get in-depth once this is all done. The same applies to cabinets and closets. Unless you have reason to believe people will be opening closed doors, leave these alone for now.

Attack the floordrobe and shoe pile. Get your clothes either put away or in the hamper. Start a load of laundry if you need to, but keep in mind that laundry and dishes have three steps: wash, dry, and put it away, goddammit!

Get random stuff up off the floors. If something is trash-worthy, throw it away now rather than just move it around a bunch of times. Otherwise, put stuff where it belongs.

Take another 20/10 or 45/15 to catch up on more dishes, if needed.

Head into the bathroom. Pour some cleaner in the toilet bowl, fill the sink with hot water and cleaner, and either spray the tub and shower with cleaner, or fill the tub up with some hot water and add cleaner and let it soak. Put everything away that’s out and shouldn’t be, clean the mirror, counters, and toilet seat. Sweep or dry mop the floor. Wipe down the sink and tub/shower, and give the toilet bowl a scrub. Mop the floor.

Sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Vacuum everything you can, and sweep everything you can’t.

Walk outside of your house (don’t lock yourself out, please). Walk back in and see what catches your eye first. Go and deal with that.

If you’re being inspected or your landlord is coming in for repairs, spend time on whatever area they’ll be focusing on.

Give the whole place one more once-over and pay attention to anything you’ve missed so far.

It’s an old trick, but if your place is a little funky-smelling, put a pan of water on the stove on low heat and add some citrus or cinnamon or vanilla. Don’t leave it unattended or forget about it.

Take a shower, put on something clean, and eat something.

You can do this. It’s overwhelming, yes, but it is not impossible. You just need to do it. You have a list. You have directions. You have a whole bunch of Internet strangers who have been there before and who are cheering you on. You can do this, but you need to get started.

Why are you still here? GO. START. NOW.

[river-b]

the number of times in my past that I desperately wanted/needed someone to sit me down and tell me this stuff. I will never get back the hours and hours lost to headless-chicken mode, but it’s nice to know that in the last year I’ve learned so many coping mechanisms :D

[demonsreverie]

Caine’s Victory

[I will replace this with a written transcript soon!]

[The final results of "Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Round 4 Part 11" Showing Mr. Ant Tenna and Caine.]

In honor of the Tumblr Sexyman Contest held by @mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026!

[universe-friday]

EXCERPT #137:

Hello. I hope somebody is listening.

[...]

Once we’d made it back, Paris and I had a talk. I thought it was time I confronted her about what exactly she knew about the City. She said she didn’t know much, but enough to know we appeared to be on the same side. I nodded.

Of course, it’s more complicated than with or against the City, but I also know allies are necessary to survive. You just can’t think of them as friends.

I miss Adhafera… I keep thinking of those first few days together, when we first met, before I even knew their name. As much as I enjoyed Adhil’s company, I can’t remember him without thinking of where it all went wrong.

The maze… The echo… The weirdness of time… I don’t want to remember it anymore.

It was all pointless. And now they’ve both disappeared without a trace.

I told Paris about that part—my last allies disappearing—since I remembered she mentioned disappearances the first time we talked.

“I’m sorry about your friends,” she said. I didn’t correct her.

She decided we should lead an expedition around Universe City to try and glean more information, so that’s what we’re doing tomorrow. It’s not like I have any better plans.

[...]

You were the first to disappear without a trace, February. Long before I met a child who only said, “Beep boop” and “the stars” while pointing at the sky, long even before I found myself in this wretched place, there was you. And I thought you my friend in our prison—and you were. You were my friend. We loved each other.

But that wasn’t enough; love is never enough, is it, February?

It wasn’t enough to save us. It wasn’t enough to make you see me.

So how can I think it will be enough to find Adhil and Adhafera?

[Sigh.]

I have to hope it will be. No one else but me will look for them.

[echotunes]

(to the tone of creep by radiohead) but i'm asleep. on mypillow

[fuck-philip-banks]

[json-derulo]

the past three weeks in a row, partner has gone to chipotle and been served by the same employee who, in bold defiance of the testimony of his own eyes and ears, ardently refuses to believe carnitas exist

[json-derulo]

partner: “Hi, could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and carnitas?”

employee (completely blank expression): “No.”

partner (autistic) (socialscript.exe encountered an unhandled exception) : “…Uh. Um. Sorry?”

employee: “We don’t have that.”

partner (wondering if perhaps he put too much of the authentic accent on the word and that’s what’s throwing the guy): “You don’t have…(pronouncing it whiter) carnitas?”

employee (face still unreadable): “No.”

partner (looking at the near-full hotel pan of perfectly normal carnitas in its usual place on the other side of the glass) (noticing this employee looks unfamiliar) (maybe he’s a new guy that just started five minutes ago with no training?) : “The…pork?” (pointing at it)

employee: “We don’t have pork.”

partner (beginning to wonder if he’s the one that’s losing it) (desperately looks to the menu on the wall behind the employee) (the menu lists carnitas as a protein option) (the word “carnitas” is not crossed out or taped over or otherwise adulterated) (carnitas have been on the standard menu since at least 2016) : “Okay. Um. Are you…sure?”

other employee working the toppings part of the line (familiar) (have seen her before) (she has cool earrings): *gives the new guy a strange look, nudges him aside, and scoops the carnitas onto partner’s bowl before continuing with the other toppings*

Repeat conversation again the next week. And the next. Same guy. If it’s a bit, no one is laughing, including the employee.

[json-derulo]

theories I’ve considered:

- the employee keeps very strictly kosher/halal/vegan and refuses to handle pork (understandable, I respect that, but if you’re gonna work at a place that serves pork I do kinda feel like when someone orders it you’ve just gotta tap in a coworker to do it for you)

- someone did something gross to the carnitas and the employee is trying to warn people not to order it (??? throw it out then? also, three weeks in a row???)

- the employee is a space alien who views humans as so similar to pigs that for us to eat them is tantamount to cannibalism

[json-derulo]

- the employee is the lead in a kdrama romance about a pampered, clueless chaebol heir who is sent by his father to work in the company’s restaurants for a year in order to prove he’s ready to take over as CEO. he’s dumb as rocks but they can’t fire him or even correct him that harshly due to the power gradient. partner is just a minor reoccurring character, and the interaction is kept the same from week to week to highlight the development of the relationship between the employee and his love interest with the cool earrings (even if the restaurant is literally a fully-branded Chipotle, that’s somehow still not enough product placement for me to believe this is a real kdrama)

[json-derulo]

After reviewing again with partner, evidently I forgot a detail that set this week’s carnitas denial dance apart from the others.

partner (well aware of what he’s getting into with this guy now): “Hi. Could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and pork?”

employee: “We don’t have pork.”

partner (demonstrating a level of patience only a public school teacher could have): *points at the pan of carnitas* “Could I please just have some of that?”

employee (after several slow, confused blinks): *points at the same pan* “That’s steak.”

partner (looking at the hotel pan they’re both pointing at) (it is filled with shredded meat of a pale beige color) (at the other end of the row of pans is another pan containing dark brown, lightly charred meat chopped into small pieces): “Okay.” *deciding he’s willing to play in this fantasy space if it gets the job done, he points at the first pan again* Then could I please have the steak?”

employee: *starts to reach for the pan at the other end containing the actual steak*

partner: "Oh—no, sorry, this one please?" *points at the first pan containing the carnitas*

employee: *blinks, then just walks away and starts helping the next customer in line, leaving partner's bowl unfinished*

other employee with cool earrings: *rolls her eyes at new employee, takes partner’s bowl, and fills it with carnitas herself*

new theories:

- the employee is a bridge troll who will only dole out his delectable carnitas to those who prove themselves worthy by correctly answering his riddles three

- the employee is stoned out of his mind at all times on a specific strain of weed that totally erases the concept of pork from his memory and awareness

[json-derulo]

A few additional updates/clarifications:

Mr. Eternal Bluntshine of the Porkless Mind isn't the first idiosyncratic cryptid Partner has encountered at this particular Chipotle. He joins the illustrious ranks of The Lobster Mobster and 300 RPM Matthew McConaughey

Partner says he does not actually mind dealing with this unskippable cutscene every time because A) he finds it amusing and B) on one occasion, after Cool Earrings's intervention, the new employee checked him out at the register, and he rang up the bowl clearly labeled "CA-Q" (carnitas with queso) as chicken, which made it slightly cheaper

Some of my favorite possible explanations from the tags:

[whyenn-reader]

ADHD advice from non-ADHD people: start blocking out your day and put things in your google calendar

ADHD advice from ADHD people: any time you're waiting for your food to microwave YOU HAVE TO WASH DISHES WASH AS MANY AS YOU CAN THIS IS A RACE AGAINST TIME THIS IS THE ONLY TIME THIS COULD HAPPEN

[kazumi404]

isn't she...lovely?

[just-a-joey]

Finally included in the card game

[yesiscandyskiller]

Can't stop thinking that if Jax transitioned inside the circus, she'd be Regina George 2.0 🩵🤍🩷

🟢 Commissions Open!!

[forgetmaenott]

Caine being part of the friend group now is all I ever wanted agh. Look at him. He’s giddy.

[hiijinkies]

the best and worst versions of yourself

[bananonbinary]

one of the hardest things to learn as a depressed former Gifted Kid™ is that half-assed is better than nothing. take the 50%, 40%, even 20% job. scrubbing your face is better than not taking a shower at all. picking up your clothes is better than never cleaning. nibbling on some bread is better than starving.

DO THINGS HALFWAY. NOW YOU’RE 100% BETTER OFF THAN YOU WERE BEFORE.

[redheadhatchet]

One of my college professors used to say “anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.”  I didn’t understand that for years because I didn’t do anything poorly, I couldn’t do anything poorly, I had to Do Everything Perfectly.

But brushing your teeth for 30 seconds is better than not brushing them at all when that 2 minutes seems exhausting.  Doing ten minutes of yoga is better than 10 minutes of sitting when 30 minutes of cardio sounds impossible.  Changing my clothes is good when a whole shower is impossible.  Standing on the porch for a few minutes is worth it after being in the house for three straight days because I don’t have the energy to go anywhere.

Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly… because doing it poorly is better than not doing it.

[resetium]

someone please hit me over the head with this post every day for like the next week thanks. a mention, a reblog with text, a message, something.

[blackwoolncrown]

You must understand that perfectionism isn’t striving for excellence, it’s a crippling fear of being flawed and therefore worth abandonment or punishment. It’s a kind of psychological avoidance. You’re avoiding fear and failure , not embracing the thing you want to do bc if it was about the thing you want to do you’d be fine with partial victory.

[redstonedust]

they're not super common but i really do appreciate characters who are introduced as one gender and later revealed to be closeted trans. i like that it challenges the audience to really think about how they perceive trans people because realistically not every trans person you meet is going to be out to you at first. yes we introduced this character as a man and now we're asking you to reframe her as a woman after you've already gotten to know her. can you be normal about that? can you be normal when it happens to people you know in real life? i hope you can.

[universe-friday]

EXCERPT #136:

Hello. I hope somebody is listening.

[...]

We have a lot of catching up to do, old sport.

First of all, I was wrong about Paris. She doesn’t work for anyone, she’s not here to spy on me or anything like that. It’s just her.

A few days ago, the second wave of heat overcame the City earlier than expected. We were out on a recon mission when suddenly the air scorched our lungs and the ground burned through our soles. It caught us by surprise, far from her base, and the sun was already too high in the sky to risk running, so we had to wait it out.

It was hell on earth out there, old sport. The only way to survive was to find somewhere cooler until nightfall.

Paris was clearly suffering more than I was. She said she felt drowsy when I asked if she’d be okay, and I knew I didn’t have much time to get her out of the sun.

We went into the first abandoned building we found. It wasn’t exactly safe, but it was our only option. I found an old fan in a cupboard and put it on once we found a backroom with no windows to let any sun in. Luckily, the water still worked.

After a while, we both felt much better, though tired and frustrated. And then Paris asked me the strangest thing. She asked if this had been my plan all along.

“Of course not,” I said. “Why would I want us to be stuck here during the heat?”

“To take me somewhere,” she said, eyeing me with more caution than I’d ever seen her show.

“Where?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” she said.

And I realised, she’d been wondering if I had been sent to spy on her this entire time. I realised she was just as alone as I was. Only, she’d been a lot more trusting with me than I had been with her, which had seemed suspicious at first, but that day I understood it had just been her way of protecting herself, of showing me she had nothing to hide. Which I now know wasn’t true, of course.

Paris had—has a lot to hide.

[gracehasaspacesuitquestion]

Please read this because it is EXTREMELY important me (a transgender man) and to other trans individuals.

The US Government is currently trying to pass an incredibly dangerous national law for trans youth called HR 2616.

This bill would ban all Federally funded schools from teaching about gender identity or sexual orientation, prevent teachers from using the correct pronouns and names for trans students, remove books with any trans representation in them, and even go as far as to prevent teachers from acknowledging trans identity AT ALL.

Any school that does not follow this will lose all federal funding. This bill would also require teachers to forcibly out trans students to their families, which would be fatal to any trans student with a transphobic Family or just hateful family in general. Trans people are already a group that already has some of the highest rates of being victim to suicide, domestic violence, and sexual assault.

This bill actively makes teachers put those innocent children at such a big risk. This bill has rapidly passed the house this week with support from all 209 republicans, as well as 8 democrats. But, it's still being voted on in the senate, which means there is still time to help stop this.

To help stop this, you can visit 5calls.org (look up 2616 in the search bar), one of the most top issues filed Oppose Attacks on LGBTQ+ Students. Once you put in your general location, it will pull-up contact information for your senator, and give you a script for calling them.

If you are a minor and/or do not feel comfortable doing this, PLEASE repost this on here, or any other platform you are on/can find! This needs to be heard and fought against.

Thank you for reading this, my lovely people!

(My moots/friends that I'm tagging: @syrupppppppppp @s4pphicfurryr4ve2769 @starstarstarrystar @histrynerdss @billiloveyouso @ultimatebikergangleader69 @trixthemagemain @otlantispearlxox @jaxwithabow)

[cardinailed0]

my contribution this pride month is transfem jax to will wood songs lowk fun

[jewfrogs]

the problem with autism is sometimes you want to do something (brave) but you need someone to gently walk you through each step so you know what will happen. and people don’t like doing that

[bobdylanslesbianlover]

i had to phone a taxi today, scary

[sga-owns-my-soul]

every time i see this post i think of that person who posted on reddit that they wanted to go to subway for the first time but they were scared they would say the wrong thing so someone gave them step by step instructions for the entire process and what all the choices would be and when they would ask what question and i just think

someone will

someone out there will see you and say "yes. the world is scary. but let me hold your hand and show you how to do it anyways"

everyone needs that someone, and everyone can be that someone

[warriorsdebt]

The subreddit r/explainlikeimscared is a surprisingly good resource for this. People are always very kind and thorough from what I've seen, and I spend a decent amount of time there giving walkthroughs and answering questions when I know the process.

[halfblackwolfdemon]

SHARING TO HELP SOMEONE ELSE OUT!