Sleepy😴

🦝Anon

[pittsuggest]

PittTok

Dennis: *back at home for the holidays, filming himself standing in the corner* Momma put me in the corner because it’s been storming out and the screen door banged open and Daddy said ‘lord take us now, we ready’ and I looked at him and said ‘nah I ain’t ready you can go’ and now I’m in the corner. Anyways, if I don’t come home I just want Doctor Robby to know he’s always been like a father to me and I mean that with my dick fully hard-

Scene cut

Dennis: I got another ten minutes for comparing my crush to my father and I think they’re getting out the holy water and gonna try to exorcise me again. This house is a fucking nightmare.

Eldest brother: He’s so dramatic, the ones of us that live on the farm get exorcised all the time 🙄

Dennis: That’s not a point in favor of it!!!

[hunneytheforager]

Tim and Bruce are getting dressed for an Intel mission tonight, where Tim needs to go undercover as Caroline Hill. Tim has changed twice and Dick disapproves of every dress he's put on

Dick: Absolutely not! Try again

Tim: What's wrong with this one!?

Tim was in a short ruby red dress with small slits above each of his thighs and a fitted bodice with romantic draping sleeves.

Tim: I'm trying to get his attention.

Dick: You look like a hooker. There are prostitutes in Crime Alley who wear more clothes than you are right now

Tim: You're not even going so what do you care?

Dick: B, are you letting him leave like this?

Bruce turns to look at Tim

Bruce: You look fine

Then he goes back to scrolling on the bat computer

Dick: Look at him again, this time see your little boy, your SON who is going out to flirt with a man who has man thoughts!

Bruce groans and turns around again this time paying closer attention to the fitted bodice and short length

Bruce: Hmm... Do you have anything... longer?

Tim: B!?

Dick: Thank you!

Jason: What the fuck did I just walk into?

Dick: Tim is trying to leave the house with a for sale sign on his ass! And Bruce is unhelpful

Tim: it's not that bad!

Jason looks Tim over

Jason: it's not that bad

Tim:...

Tim: Fine, I'll change

Tim walks up the stairs out the cave

Dick: ...How did you do that?

Jason: I'm better than you

[perkeia]

[reibub]

the four robins

[malenjoyer]

something dumb

🍟🥤…

[teatimetaker]

Don't kids say the wildest things?

Also Thomas Wayne wasn't that kind of doctor Timmy.

[adilia-the-kouhai]

Small Batman and his birds doodle

[tranquilmat22]

Has there been a JL post/story about the JL finding out that Batman is the youngest on the team??

Obviously, this connects to the Young Bruce Wayne trope, but has there been one where the JL just doesn't know Bruce's age or assumes he's older because Dick is like 25?

Like Let’s say the Batfam ages are:

Alfred - 60, Bruce - 36, Barbara - 27, Dick - 25, Cass - 23, Jason - 22, Steph - 22, Tim - 18, Duke - 17 (about to turn 18), Damian - 11

This means Bruce adopted Dick at 19/20 (whether Dick was 8 or 9), and became Batman at like 17. (He first met Superman at 18)

So when Dick joined the YJ team at 13, Bruce was only 25/26 while the rest of the members of the JL were 30-36, with Barry (who everyone thinks is the youngest) being 30. A 5-year age gap between the two.

Now we have the JL assuming Batman is older while Batman is assuming the JL is younger.

I bet the whole thing would come to light with the BatKids giving Bruce a "Happy 40th Birthday" surprise (a joke to call him old).

By then, the JL is 45-51. Their souls are crushed (especially Barry's) to find out that Batman is 5-10 years YOUNGER than them.

At the same time, Batman is absolutely astonished to find out the JL is not as young as he is and that he just became the "Baby of the Team".

This is my first post, sorry if this looks weird

[fake-tweets]

[oneswordstyle]

Sit in your parent’s lap like you did when you were a kid

[jasontodddidnothingwrong]

Fic idea where Damian and Jason met in the league, and Dami doesn't bother keeping it a secret in Gotham. However, due to a series of misunderstandings, the batfamily all come to believe Damian is talking about a dog.

Bruce: We want you to feel comfortable here, Damian. Is there anything I can get you to make you feel more at home.

Damian: I want Akhi.

Bruce (internally): Brother???

Damian: He was my guard and companion. He would sleep on the floor of my room every night in order to protect me. Apart from those nights when he would whine so loudly that it disturbed my slumber. At such times, he would sleep outside instead.

Bruce (internally): Oh, "Akhi" is just a sweet name for a dog...

--

Damian, trying to be supportive for once: You are much more adept at learning than Akhi. It took much training for him to even be able to communicate. Mother was most pleased when he was finally able to understand simple commands such as "stop" and "kneel".

Tim: Wow, the bar is apparently dog height.

--

Damian, being shown the library by Alfred: Akhi would very much appreciate this room.

Alfred, joking: Oh, does he like books?

Damian: He is voracious. Akhi tears through a dozen books a week.

Alfred, imagining the ancient library Bruce described from his time with the league: Dear God...

--

Bruce, on the phone with Talia: Damian misses his Akhi. Please ship him over to us.

Talia: ????????

[abcdfghjklmpqrobin]

Damian becoming a med student and immediately getting way too invested in his family's health for no reason.

Damian, knocking on Dick's door: Richard, can I ask you a favor?

Dick, suprised: Yeah, of course, what's up?

Damian: I have a question for one of the Doctors in my school. Can you come with me on Friday?

Dick: Umm, sure, kid...Why? Do you need me to play the big bad intimidating brother?

Damian: No. But I do need you to avoid consuming any caffeine eight to twelve hours prior. And bring a list of all the medications you're taking.

Dick: What

*In the Batcave*

Damian, finishing taking a blood sample: I should thank you for letting me do this.

Jason, shrugging: Hey, whatever for a Batburger.

Jason: So... Why do you need my blood?

Damian: It's not important, really... You probably don't even have it–

Jason: Wow. Have what?

Damian: You have nothing to worry about...maybe.

Jason: What are you talking about??

Damian: I'm just making sure.

Jason: Damian! Making sure I don't have what??!!

Damian:

Jason:

Damian: Yeah, you probably don't.

Jason: *Launches at Damian*

*At a family dinner*

Bruce: So Damian, how is school going?

Damian: It's fine, Father.

Bruce, smiling and continuing eating: Good.

Damian:

Damian:...Father, have you ever gotten your prostate checked?

Bruce: I–

Jason: *chokes*

Tim: Oh god.

Damian: You should really see to it, it's important.

Dick: I'm pretty sure Selina–

Tim: Oh god, please shut up.

Jason: *Dies again*

[waveoftheocean]

petition to give battinson a robin in batman 2 pspsps

[fake-tweets]

[fake-tweets]

[fake-tweets]

[blakellyl]