Me and My Stupid Headcanons

[papayafromtv]

Damian and Jason have been playing a game of hot potato with being Ra's main heir because neither of them can be fucked to deal with the league responsibilities and then they get to Gotham and find out that the 'detective' nickname has been passed on from Bruce to Tim because Ra's likes Tim for some reason and they both perk up like rival stunt men about to team up to commit insurance fraud.

Tim: dude im so scared to tell Damian that i worked with his grandfather for a little bit. did you see how mad he was when he thought i'd stolen his 'birthright' by being Robin? he might kill me!

Dick: maybe we can find a way to break the news to him gently...

meanwhile, Damian, on the phone to Jason: THAT SUCKER. HE'S GOTTEN GRANDFATHER'S FAVOUR. WE'RE FREE.

Jason: FUCKING FINALLY-

Damian: WAR IS OVER TODD, NO MORE LEAGUE MEETINGS. WE FINALLY DISAPPOINTED HIM ENOUGH THAT HE'S MOVED ON TO A NEW TARGET.

Jason: this is the biggest accomplishment of our lives.

Damian: i truly can't comprehend how we lasted this long in the runnings anyway, but thank god it's over.

Jason: does Tim know what he's in for? did you tell him Ra's will be gunning for him now?

Damian: what am i, a nice person? of course not.

Jason: atta boy.

[tranquilmat22]

Omg, you know what would be even funnier?

If Damian and Jason did all this fighting to not be chosen only to find out that they were NEVER a consideration to begin with 💀, even before they start this "hot potato war". (And not because they are precious grandchildren or something. This would make it funnier to me)

Like before Tim is was always Dick or Bruce (though I feel like Dick would be funnier. Hell you can even throw Alfred in there too) as the first choice 💀💀

Would they be offended or even more relieved or both?

[deecotan]

Hurt/unconcious Bruce and a protective/possessive Clark plsplsplsplsplspls

i've been trying to figure out how to picture this scenario so i ended up putting a bunch of them together instead

[tranquilmat22]

I love this

[tranquilmat22]

Ok another Batfam post 😅 Inspired by kaylee.jaye 's tiktok.

Link: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8A2Swf3/

So here, Damian says that he wants to quit being Robin and become a doctor, thinking Bruce would be mad. But Bruce is happy and has been waiting for the day when one of his kids decides to walk down a different path.

Alfred reveals that he is still salty that Bruce never became a doctor, breaking the legacy of 10 generations being doctors.

But instead of Bruce saying "We aren't having this argument." or ignoring the conversation completely. What if Bruce is like "Oh, I am a doctor."

My idea for a scene:

Damian: Father, I want to be a Doctor when I grow up.

Bruce *in tears*: ALFRED, IT'S HAPPENING!

Alfred: What? What is happening, Master Bruce?

Bruce: Damian wants to be a Doctor when he grows up

Alfred *now also in tears*: Really??? I thought I'd never see this day come

Damian *confused*: You aren't mad about me breaking the family legacy?

Bruce: Oh, God no. I don't want that to be the legacy. In fact, I'd rather your kids become anything else.

Alfred: And you're actually keeping a different family legacy. Master Bruce's father, Master Thomas was a doctor. And his father before him. And his father before him. *glares at Bruce* For the past decade.

Bruce: Why are you glaring at me?

Alfred: You know Exactly what I mean. *looks at Damian* Come Master Damian, let's look at schools so you can become a doctor unlike someone *glares at Bruce again*

Bruce: Alfred... I am a doctor, I just don't practice.

Alfred *stops dead in his tracks. heads slowly turns back to Bruce*: What.

Bruce *slightly scared*: I have my MD... I could quit Batman tomorrow and be a Doctor...

Alfred: WHEN IN THE WORLD DID YOU GET YOUR MD?!?

Bruce *sweating*: I got it before I became Batman... I was going to honor my Father, but plans changed... being a businessman was more realistic for Batman. *Now rambling* But I keep up with my studies and certifications. I even got it renewed when I was helping Dick get his *quickly slaps hand over mouth*

Alfred *eye twitching*: Master Dick has one too?

Bruce: Y-yes, he was going to be a Doctor but he decided against it...

Alfred *in pure disbelief*: I will deal with you later, but it seems that Master Dick and I need to have a conversation. Good day, Sirs. *walks towards the stairs*

Bruce, knowing Dick is upstairs: *texts Dick* 1. Run 2. Don't ask, just run

Damian is just left standing there confused and in shock.

[tranquilmat22]

Ok, I have another random thought about Batman and the BatFam (I'm currently in my Batman phase again 😅)

So, out of ALL the fictional characters in the world (either from books, games, movies, OCs, etc.), who do you think should either be Included as a Batkid already, Given the chance to be one, or Would just make a good match as a Batkid? (And it can be from any genre too, like Anime vs. Marvel, etc.)

I feel that there are so many options out there. Also, I'm not talking about Spiderman. I know he would be a great choice, but I've so many things about him already. So choose anyone else.

I lowkey think Shoto Todoroki from MHA would be a good fit. I've even written some things with him being included as a Batkid 😅 (not posted anywhere)

So, what do y'all think?

[tranquilmat22]

Has there been a JL post/story about the JL finding out that Batman is the youngest on the team??

Obviously, this connects to the Young Bruce Wayne trope, but has there been one where the JL just doesn't know Bruce's age or assumes he's older because Dick is like 25?

Like Let’s say the Batfam ages are:

Alfred - 60, Bruce - 36, Barbara - 27, Dick - 25, Cass - 23, Jason - 22, Steph - 22, Tim - 18, Duke - 17 (about to turn 18), Damian - 11

This means Bruce adopted Dick at 19/20 (whether Dick was 8 or 9), and became Batman at like 17. (He first met Superman at 18)

So when Dick joined the YJ team at 13, Bruce was only 25/26 while the rest of the members of the JL were 30-36, with Barry (who everyone thinks is the youngest) being 30. A 5-year age gap between the two.

Now we have the JL assuming Batman is older while Batman is assuming the JL is younger.

I bet the whole thing would come to light with the BatKids giving Bruce a "Happy 40th Birthday" surprise (a joke to call him old).

By then, the JL is 45-51. Their souls are crushed (especially Barry's) to find out that Batman is 5-10 years YOUNGER than them.

At the same time, Batman is absolutely astonished to find out the JL is not as young as he is and that he just became the "Baby of the Team".

This is my first post, sorry if this looks weird