joeysalvatored:
Joey knew from the moment her brow creased ever so slightly, he was in trouble. He’d messed up. That was the thing though, as much as he hated it, he was still that self-destructive kid from Queens with the chip on his shoulder. Even now in the face of his best friend, of a girl who’d welcomed him with opened arms and made him feel like he had a home, there was still doubt. It was small- tiny, microscopic- but a part of him still felt like he wasn’t worth her time. That’d she’d rather spend it with Keith. It wasn’t true and he knew that but sometimes he just… Maybe that’s why he couldn’t bring himself to make it into a joke or confess it had just been a misunderstanding. Something he and Isabel had done because they were both dateless. It’d gotten out of control, he was embarrassed but everything was cool now, right? Rachel wouldn’t at all wonder why, right? It wouldn’t open a can of tumultuous, unrequited feelings and awkward confessions, right? Joey swallowed, his throat dry. Damn it.
“Hey…,” he said it softly, forcing himself to breathe, to smile at her like he always did. Maybe even more. “It wasn’t some big secret, I swear.” Nope, he had enough of a time keeping his feelings for her secret nevermind anyone else, thank you very much. “We, uh, we were just friends, y'know? Then this whole prom thing came up and it all just happened really fast. It’s super new but, uh, we’re trying it out. Dating. We like each other so, yeah. Yeah, right? Dating,” okay, now please stop talking— “Besides, this is a good thing, right? Because you’re dating Keith-,” he smiled wider (maybe too wide), “And I’m dating Isabel. We could- We could go on a double date! We could go on a triple date even. I mean, you saw how organised Cooper was with the whole limo thing and he and Juliette seem swell…” Kill me now. He dared to really look at her now, in the rare quiet of his ramblings. In his heart of hearts, he wanted to see something- anything- that might indicate that… Hell, he didn’t know. That maybe she didn’t want to date Keith? Or maybe she’d thought about him that? He looked away, too scared of the truth, too scared his own truth was shining through these ridiculous lies. How could there be anyone else, huh? “I’m sorry though, Rach. I guess I caught up in it for a sec. Clearly I’m not good at this whole, uh, ‘normal teen’ thing, I don’t know. We… We’re good though?” His voice had become a little quieter then though and he felt like he was holding his breath. Of all the things he couldn’t lose, she was it. “I mean, I— I need you.”
Beneath the hum of the music, Rachel might have noticed the steady thrum of rain falling on top of the roof, small cascades dancing on the pavement outside, wrapping them and everyone else at the party in their own pocket of time. She didn’t notice it though, because every part of her was focused so deeply on the boy in front of her, on her best friend who she felt like for a moment she couldn’t recognize. She studied the deep brown of his eyes, the curve of his jawline, the gentle curl of the dark lock of hair that escaped the bun he wore and framed his face. Rachel was built for studying, for putting pieces together and quickly assessing a problem, an assignment. But people were different, and Joey was more important to her than most. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t figure out what was missing, what she’d gotten wrong. His smile helped bring her back, helped ground her, and his voice tried to convince her it wasn’t something he’d tried to hide from her. “Right... Right, so it’s just... new,” she repeated, trying to wrap her head around it. Except Joey wasn’t spontaneous with feelings, with people, and it wouldn’t quite add up. “No, yeah, that’s... that’s a really good thing, that’s so nice for you guys—” Instinctively, with the care he put in his voice, her hand reached to touch his arm. And then he mentioned Keith, and though he wore a bigger smile, it felt like he was driving something between them, and she retracted her hand. “You, uh, really want to go on a double date with me and Keith?” she asked, her voice hesitant, unsure because she could have guessed that’d be one of the last things he’d want. A knot felt like it was forming in her stomach, making her breath uncomfortable, her mouth a tight-lipped smile. Rachel wanted so badly to understand, but he wouldn’t even look at her now and she couldn’t help but feel lost. And frighteningly, like maybe this was the beginning of her losing him. But then he spoke again, voice softer, giving apologies and those worries began to melt away.
I need you.
If there was anything that could do it, it was that. “Don’t be sorry,” she said softly, finding herself more grounded, more sure that all of this was fine and normal. “I’m sorry— god, I kinda bugged out there for a second. I just... It took me by surprise that’s all,” Rachel reassured with a perfect smile. “I’m happy for you Joey, honest. I would have loved to know earlier is all, I could have... helped, you know?” For a second she wondered if she’d be capable of that, if she’d be good at helping Joey win Isabel’s affection. The thought made her stomach feel strange, so she quickly shooed it away and focused on him again, this time not stopping herself from squeezing his arm. “Of course, we’re good, Joey,” Rachel told him earnestly, her own brown eyes shining, letting herself truly feel happy for him, and she tugged on his suit jacket slightly to pull him into a hug. Something in her chest felt familiar, something she might have felt on the dance-floor at Prom, but Rachel didn’t dwell on it as she tucked her cheek into his shoulder. “You’ve always got me.”











