New Year's Resolutions? In THIS good HR Household? No, we have New Year's SMART Objectives, like God intended.
wallacepolsom
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

⁂
Xuebing Du
YOU ARE THE REASON
trying on a metaphor

roma★
🪼
Sade Olutola

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
$LAYYYTER
Cosimo Galluzzi

Janaina Medeiros
occasionally subtle

@theartofmadeline
NASA

#extradirty

shark vs the universe

pixel skylines

oozey mess

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@radical-hr
New Year's Resolutions? In THIS good HR Household? No, we have New Year's SMART Objectives, like God intended.
If you partake of the devil's lettuce you need to stop while you're looking for a job. That includes CBD, and the Deltas (8, 9, 10). Yes, those are federally legal BUT drug tests can't tell the difference. You will pop for weed.
Cannabanoids are fat soluable. The higher your fat percentage, the longer you'll show as having weed in your system. It doesn't matter if you're smoking, vaping, eating, or drinking it. None will stay for less time than the others.
Depending on the frequency with which you imbibe, the quality of what you're taking, and your body fat percentage, it can show on a urine test for NINETY DAYS. I'm not kidding. I had a test that showed me with weed in my system after 60 days without it.
So what do I, as a pro-weed HR professional, do? As soon as I have to look for work, I put the weed away. I take it for medical reasons, so it's hard to stop knowing I'll be in pain, but I would rather suffer up front than not be able to find a job and suffer long term.
In addition to stopping as soon as I decide to look for work, I started upping my Vitamin B dose. I don't know if it helps flush or anything, but high doses of Vitamin B turn your pee NEON yellow. Why does that matter? Because I'm going to CHUG water the day before and day of my drug test. That turns urine clear. Vitamin B helps keep in yellow, which looks less like you tried to dilute your pee to trick the test.
I have a box of at-home urine tests off Amazon that were well reviewed by parents looking to bust their kids. THAT is your target reviewer. Now I test first thing in the morning. That pee is the most concentrated and will have the highest levels of THC. If you can pass the "first piss" test, you'll pass when you go for the real test and have already peed 3-5 times.
Look at me: DO NOT GO TO THE TESTING FACILITY UNTIL YOU HAVE PEED MULTIPLE TIMES. Never let them "first piss" test you. Even if yours come back clean, don't fucking risk it. You need to have peed multiple times that day before your official test.
Do flush kits work? I have never used one, personally, but some of them have really good reviews. You have to make sure you use them exactly as the directions say. If you don't, they don't work. Most only have a window of a few hours where you'll show as clean, so be careful.
Sadly, there is something called The Work Number, which most companies use for their employment verification, and this no longer works.
Ohhh I'm going to HR Jail. Why does this profession have so many moving parts?
The fact that I'm helping recruit my own boss is giving me giggle fits.
Classroom management refers to managing adults the way you would children. Typically, it is not recommended. Adults chafe at classroom management. However, if fuckers want to act like children, sometimes you have to treat them like children. Like 30 year old children. Who are in detention. And their teacher is HR. And their principal is HR. And their parents are HR. Nobody is happy. Someone is probably crying.
Pro Tip: Your HR professional isn't a tax professional.
Most of us don't know any more about taxes than you do.
We can't help you fill out your W-4.
We don't know why you owe money this year.
"Well my last HR department helped me" yeah that's probably why you owe $20k to the IRS.
If you need tax help, ask a CPA not an SHRM.
We literally just enter whatever you put on your W-4 form. Even if we know it's wrong, we still have to enter what you wrote down. Don't get mad at us because you claimed 5 dependents when you have 0 dependents. That's your fault and we have it in writing.
Don't take labor advice from people who don't know the difference in Right to Work and At Will.
Right to Work = you don't have to join a union to do your job.
At Will = your non-contractual employment can be ended for any (legal) reason at any time, by you or the employer.
Resign or Be Fired: Which is Better?
If your employer intends to fire you, they may offer you the choice to voluntarily resign instead. There are some benefits to this, namely that it will never be on your "permanent record" that you were fired.
But if the company is firing you (esp with cause), how does it benefit them to let you resign? Simple! In most circumstances, they won't have to pay you unemployment.
Unemployment is a complicated system, but basically employers pay Unemployment Insurance to the state and possibly the feds. If someone is laid off, fired, etc. and eligible to collect unemployed, they then go to the state to get it. A number of factors go into deciding how much an employer pays, and one of those factors is how many employees filed for unemployment the previous year. So the more employees file, the more an employer has to pay. (I used to work for my state UI.)
If you voluntarily resign, you likely won't be eligible for unemployment.
Whether that matters or not really depends on your individual circumstance. If you work in a very high demand field, you'll be able to find a new job pretty quickly, especially with a positive reference from an employer. You will come out ahead financially by getting a positive reference, rather than filing for unemployment. Some employers will also offer some perks for doing this, like a small severence agreement.
It can be tricky if you are in a highly competitive field. It may take you longer to find a job, meaning you would likely need the unemployment income. However, if the field is competitive, it may hurt your prospects for a potential employer to learn that you were fired. You need to weigh the pros and cons.
If you're in a low demand, less competitive field, it is almost always necessary to get unemployment. It would depend on why you're being fired. If you're being fired with cause, you may be ineligible, depending on the eligibility criteria of your state. But also, if the employer is giving you the option to resign, then the cause might not be enough to render you ineligible. You need to know the specifics of your circumstances.
In certain fields, it can definitely be a huge mark against you. In HR, being fired with cause can completely derail your career. You're supposed to know better. For teachers, it can also be an issue because there is such a shortage that it causes suspicion.
Contrary to popular internet myth, it is not illegal for a former employer to tell a prospective employer THAT you were fired.
In some states, it is illegal to tell another employer WHY you were fired. That's a big difference. It also only applies in some states. It isn't HR best practice (I personally would only do it in very specific circumstances) so most HR workers will only answer "term type" (resigned, fired, laid off, etc) and "eligible for rehire". If it is company policy to not rehire a former employee (which it sometimes is) an ethical HR person will disclose that.
Finally, remember that being fired isn't necessarily the career ended we all think it is. When I recruited, I would only exclude a fired applicant if their firing had something to do with a license violation. I was staffing medical, so it could potentially endanger a patient. That was all I really cared about.
Give all factors due consideration and let me know if you need any advice.
Finally getting back to writing HR advice.
I would also like to point out that companies don't always offer this option with nefarious intent.
The field my company is in is HD/HC: High Demand/High Competition. You can leave one company and be employed at another in a month, easily. But only if you don't have a negative employment record. If someone is being let go from our company due to something like performance, attendance, attitude, etc. we will likely offer them the chance to resign. Just because they weren't a good fit here doesn't mean they're a bad employee, you know?
So sometimes it is the right move to accept the resignation. I would say about 75% of our terms do.
Resign or Be Fired: Which is Better?
If your employer intends to fire you, they may offer you the choice to voluntarily resign instead. There are some benefits to this, namely that it will never be on your "permanent record" that you were fired.
But if the company is firing you (esp with cause), how does it benefit them to let you resign? Simple! In most circumstances, they won't have to pay you unemployment.
Unemployment is a complicated system, but basically employers pay Unemployment Insurance to the state and possibly the feds. If someone is laid off, fired, etc. and eligible to collect unemployment, they then go to the state to get it. A number of factors go into deciding how much an employer pays, and one of those factors is how many employees filed for unemployment the previous year. So the more employees file, the more an employer has to pay. (I used to work for my state UI.)
If you voluntarily resign, you likely won't be eligible for unemployment.
Whether that matters or not really depends on your individual circumstance. If you work in a very high demand field, you'll be able to find a new job pretty quickly, especially with a positive reference from an employer. You will come out ahead financially by getting a positive reference, rather than filing for unemployment. Some employers will also offer some perks for doing this, like a small severence agreement.
It can be tricky if you are in a highly competitive field. It may take you longer to find a job, meaning you would likely need the unemployment income. However, if the field is competitive, it may hurt your prospects for a potential employer to learn that you were fired. You need to weigh the pros and cons.
If you're in a low demand, less competitive field, it is almost always necessary to get unemployment. It would depend on why you're being fired. If you're being fired with cause, you may be ineligible, depending on the eligibility criteria of your state. But also, if the employer is giving you the option to resign, then the cause might not be enough to render you ineligible. You need to know the specifics of your circumstances.
In certain fields, it can definitely be a huge mark against you. In HR, being fired with cause can completely derail your career. You're supposed to know better. For teachers, it can also be an issue because there is such a shortage that it causes suspicion.
Contrary to popular internet myth, it is not illegal for a former employer to tell a prospective employer THAT you were fired.
In some states, it is illegal to tell another employer WHY you were fired. That's a big difference. It also only applies in some states. It isn't HR best practice (I personally would only do it in very specific circumstances) so most HR workers will only answer "term type" (resigned, fired, laid off, etc) and "eligible for rehire". If it is company policy to not rehire a former employee (which it sometimes is) an ethical HR person will disclose that.
Finally, remember that being fired isn't necessarily the career ender we all think it is. When I recruited, I would only exclude a fired applicant if their firing had something to do with a license violation. I was staffing medical, so it could potentially endanger a patient. That was all I really cared about.
Give all factors due consideration and let me know if you need any advice.
Watching HR professionals argue that public displays of pornography -the most celebrated method of dehumanizing women- could not possibly cause problems in a workplace and anyone who thinks it does is a prude....genuinely makes me want to stick a fork in a light socket. Only with them holding it.
Publicly displayed pornography is sexual harassment of each and every person who sees it, as well as anyone who is harmed by the attitudes of people who view women as subhuman wank fodder.
Women are legally protected from this harassment. Do not let anyone pressure you into accepting pornography in the workplace. And the pornographied portrayal does not have to show "nips or slit" to be legally recognized as porn.
If you need help combatting this harassment, reach out and I will do my best.
It is completely morally acceptable to refuse to complete a job application because the employer is being a pain in the ass. They want a resume AND a cover letter AND references AND skills tests all emailed to them entirely separate of the job ad? Pass.
You apply on a job board and then get an email for the next step....which is to fill out another application on the company website? Pass.
You upload your resume and it doesn't parse for shit? (Check that your resume is ATS friendly) Pass.
It's an entry level job and they want a cover letter? Pass.
I have a Master's degree. I don't write cover letters.
"And other duties as assigned" DOES NOT cover any random task your employer can come up with. It must be reasonably related to your core duties and job title. If you're an administrative assistant, they can't send you out to do the gardening.
Pay Secrecy Clauses are ILLEGAL
Hello tumblr youth. Has your boss ever said you aren't allowed to discuss your pay with cowokers? Have you ever been reprimanded, punished, or fired for doing so? Guess what! They were breaking the law!
Discussing your own pay with one or more other coworkers *for the purpose of improving labor conditions* is protected as concerted activity under the National Labor Relations Act.
Let's break it down.
The National Labor Relations Act (NLRA) governs the behavior of employers and employees, and codifies the rights of both parties (+unions). The Act protects what's called "concerted activity" which is actions taken by two or more employees to improve or maintain the rights and conditions of workers in the same group.
Concerted activity must have a goal. If you and a coworker are just complaining, that is not protected.
Concerted activity must be between two or more employees within the same group. If you are an accountant in Florida discussing pay with an admin assistant in Wisconsin, that is not protected because you aren't part of the same work group.
Concerted activity must be consensual. You cannot obtain the information unlawfully or while breaking a company's code of ethicsq - such as logging into a program you aren't allowed to use, or taking a look at a payroll roster. You also can't discuss someone else's pay with a third party.
These rules protect non-union employees and employees in at-will employment states (which is 49/50).
If you are reprimanded, punished, or terminated over protected concerted activity, you have a case for unlawful termination or retaliation. In order to avoid that, many companies will try to blame something else (like performance or attitude). Even if you are only reprimanded, ask for the it IN WRITING and with the REASON LISTED. Paper trails are your friend.
HR for the Tumblr Generation
Human Resources is full of a bunch of fucking rats who will sell the workers out to the managerial staff in a second. I’m an HR worker with the soul of union thug who wants to help younger workers assert their rights. I’ll be giving general HR advice and answering questions about **US** labor law.
My modus is operating within the existing systems while working to break them. As we move towards our workers’ revolution, I want to help you make the best of this capitalist hell.