Mads✨

I didn’t plan on living this long

[lnternetgirl]

[mx-capgras]

this will stay in my ask box forever. i have never enjoyed an ask so much as i have enjoyed this one

[what-even-is-thiss]

“Cats don’t actually love you”

A cat is a small creature in the middle of the food chain that is fully aware that you are a very large thing that could stomp its head in at any moment and yet it chooses to rest its tiny little head on your leg for a nap and spreads out on the floor near you exposing its belly and its most sensitive organs. It brings dead mice and bugs to you to share food.

Don’t you get it? This tiny thing trusts you. It wants to help you too. It licks your leg thinking that it’s helping. It kneads on you to find comfort. It shares its body warmth with you in the cold and gives you your space in the heat. It hisses at other mammals it sees outside including other cats in an effort to protect its family.

Cats love you so so much. But they will keep trying to eat plastic.

[beatbizzle]

I overheard a woman at my job say "Your whole personality revolves around what you hate instead of what you love and thats an awful way to live." to the resident vocal Maga in the breakroom.

He was stunned into silence for at least 60 seconds so that was nice.

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

I understand the desire to ship but "we would find each other in every universe...as coworkers" is an insanely funny concept to me I'm sorry.

[sakrafka]

tiger doodle I made on the IKEA kid monitor

[infectiouspiss]

kids deserve so much more respect and it turns out that saying that is a great way to locate the horrible people in any community <3

[infectiouspiss]

you'll say something as simple as "no child deserves to be hit" and people will crawl out of the woodwork to explain why they should be allowed to beat a 6 year old for spilling some water

[infectiouspiss]

you'll say "i think it's weird that adults literally have control over when children are allowed to use the bathroom" and up pops a teacher to say that when they're not shouting at the kids they teach, they're trying to stop them from hiding in the bathrooms

you'll say "i think children shouldn't be forced to eat food they hate" and here comes someone who feeds their kids plain rice and boiled chicken (while eating a nicely seasoned stirfry) claiming that it's okay actually and kids shouldn't be allowed to taste things

you'll say "i think kids should have bodily autonomy" and in comes someone who pierced their babies ears before it was even 24 hours old, frothing at the mouth because their kid wanted a haircut and thats somehow an insult

[infectiouspiss]

children are an oppressed class and everyone should be looking back at their own childhoods and making sure they don't ever make a child feel the same way they felt.

[feldfrog]

“This is what they took from you” and it’s a blonde family cooking barbecue in the suburbs? Brother you are racist and fascist over hot dogs? You know you can still do that. Also if you befriend other ethnicities, they will bring cool other food to the potluck. Stupid ass

[dailyclassicart]

Theodor Kittelsen - "The key as a White Horse" (1907)

[segamascott]

[acerebral]

[bug-leg]

Little Lost Dog (acrylic on wood panel)

[batavias]

see this scar right here? That's from when my own pet cigarette turned on me and bit me as a child. my father had to put it down in the shed with an ash tray

[homunculus-argument]

I know I couldn't handle having kids but if I was left in charge of some, I'd take them to the park to feed ducks. Not bread though, you shouldn't feed that to ducks. We're feeding them lettuce. Let the ducks going apeshit over lettuce show the kids that lettuce is actually awesome. When they go home, their parents are baffled by the fact that the kids are now willingly eating salad. In the most horribly animalistic fucked up way possible.

[theconcealedweapon]

[thedurvin]

[randomencounters]

Encounter: first-draft Alien

“Raar, I’m gonna getcha!”

[stuckinapril]

do job interviewers know we’re all going to die one day