Bong Water™️

27✨| queer | poet | they/them

[atlas]

transgender pool episode (first time in a bathing suit and i’m nervous edition)

[radicalizedbean]

THATS MY FUCKING WIFE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[hooved]

make her fat and give her armpit hair and a full bush

[dumbpupbarks]

sorry i barked when i saw your happy trail do you still want me

[absolutegibberishandnumbers]

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

[wordfather]

worst thing about a job is that you have to. keep showing up. like you have to. you gotta.

[muppetshow2026]

not to give green day credit but it is immensely funny how often Big Corporation For Guys Men Guys Guy Corporation will be like hi green day play my event. and green day is like ok Big Corporation For Guys Men Guys Guy Corporation but you know we suck dick and penis and want to kill politicians and we are going to play our song we suck dick and penis and want to kill politicians .and Big Corporation For Guys Men Guys Guy Corporation is like ok green day thats cool. and then green day plays their song we suck dick and penis and want to kill politicians. and Big Corporation For Guys Men Guys Guy Corporation is like wtf green day you cant do that you cant play your song we suck dick and penis and want to kill politicians. and this has been happening in a cycle for 30 years.

[elliespectacular]

You wish to know on what I intend to begin "gaggling"? Why your very cock and your every ball, madam!

[joshpeck]

why do you and others like vaccines so much?

not dying of preventable diseases is actually one of my favorite hobbies

[lonelyroommp3]

[manteska]

🩷🖤🩷🖤🩷🖤🩷🖤

[angelicdewdrop]

[princessmo]

all video games should be dressup games. if you can't put your guy in a little outfit what's the point

[curlymedusa]

they a-a-a-a-are his best friends in the world~ 🥺🩷💙🩵😭

[willgrahamscock]

KILL AI AND REBLOG AND CREATE ART IN 2026

[realifelottiematthewss]

I love boobs so much. Okay bye.

[rockergiirl]

*test driving a car with the salesperson in the car with me* hey do you mind if i test the sound system with my music?

yeah sure go ahead

*connect my mp3 player*

*song starts and the vocals are clearly my voice*

i love crashing my car, crashing the car i'm driving is my favourite, the only thing i love more than crashing cars is crashing cars with other people in the car with me

[valsplaceactually]

I hate the annoying ass pattern modes on vibrators I'm trying to fuck not funk