Rajigaze and Radio Jack Translations Archive

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Rajigaze Sep 16

Q: “This is kinda unrelated to the theme, but I’m currently working part-time at Lawson (*convenience store). It’s inside the main station of the town I live in, so many different people come in. I’ve had people ask me for chopsticks with their yakitori (*p much chicken on a stick), a spoon with their hot dog, and just the other day someone asked me for a straw with their karaage (*kinda like popcorn chicken idk).”  (I love how this wasn’t even a question lol)

Reita: I wonder how they eat that…

Aoi: Well, I get the chopsticks with yakitori.

Reita: Yeah, that I still get. But how do you eat a hot dog with a spoon?

Aoi: It’s probably to put stuff on it, no?

Reita: …Ah! So it’s not to eat it, it’s to put ketchup and stuff on it?

Aoi: Yeaaah…

Reita: Ahh…yo remember that one time

(Both burst out laughing)

Reita: Okay listen…it was you and Ruki, and we were in the car, and…was it a hot dog, or a frankfurt?

Aoi: I don’t remember…hot dog?

Reita: Oh okay, hot dog? And it was the one that comes with packets of ketchup and mustard, like they have them at the conbini, right. So I put them on…and then at some point Ruki starts saying –what?  His eyes hurt or something?

(Aoi laughing v hard)

Reita: And then I looked at him, and there was mustard splattered right next to his eye.

(both still laughing v hard)

Reita: We were laughing so hard about it the next day.

Aoi: We were, weren’t we.

Reita: Mustard shoots in his eye and he’s just like “oh my eye hurts” (can’t breathe)

(Aoi trying to catch breath)

Reita: That really surprised me. It must have hurt.

Aoi: (laughing so hard he’s clapping) It’s so funny.

Reita: I’ve never felt so bad.

Aoi: It’s so funny.

Reita: And do you remember…that one time we were sitting in the back seat, you were in the middle and then Uruha and I were on either side of you.

Aoi: Yeah.

Reita: And you’re like, yo Uru it’s too tight (like the car was cramped??), and you pointed to your own shoulder. And I’m like what’s going on, and I look over, and there’s like, five beans from the nattomaki Uruha was eating on your shoulder (*nattomaki is this sushi roll with slimy beans in it)

(both laughing)

(Aoi laughing extra hard)

Reita: I was like what…

Aoi: My face hurts!

Reita: That was so funny.

Aoi: I forgot about that.

Reita: Like, how are you eating that thing that you get the beans on the person next to you’s shoulder…

(both laughing)

Reita: Like what was he doing…That was funny eh.

Aoi: Yeah…

Reita: But that mustard incident was what, over 10 years ago? But it’s still funny. I feel like funny stories are funny forever.

(Aoi still recovering)

Reita: But what do you think the straw with karaage was for?

Aoi: I don’t know…

Reita: Hmm…I know, maybe they stab it and just drink the juice out of the meat?

Aoi: Oh, that’s niche.

Reita: (laughs) But have you ever had a moment like, “Why did they give me this?” Of course it’s pretty a common mistake that they forget to give you chopsticks, but like, “why this with this food?” Like for example, you bought jello, but they gave you a huge spoon.

Aoi: ….

Reita: Not really?

Aoi: Hehe….not really…

Reita: Okay, I got one. It doesn’t happen much with bentos, but when you order hot food, like chicken or hot dogs, and then you leave the conbini and you realize they forgot to give it to you. What would you do?

Aoi: Hmm…

Reita: Would you go back and get it?

Aoi: Nah.

Reita: Even if you just left – what if you were like, still in the parking lot?

Aoi: Nah, probably not.

Reita: You’d just drop it?

Aoi: Yeah. Cause I’d be too pissed off.

(Reita laughing)

Reita: That just happened to me yesterday. I usually check my bag to make sure, but yesterday I was so tired I was just zoned out, and I forgot to check. And then when I got home and opened my bag, it wasn’t there…

(Aoi giggling)

Reita: Like, really…

Aoi: Do you really buy that many things…

Reita: I do~

Aoi: Ahh~

Reita: As soon as I go into the store I take a basket. So at first I’m just going around with an empty basket. And then at the end if I decide I’m not gonna buy that much stuff, I put the basket back. But I always take it first.

Aoi: Oh, I’m not really in the habit of taking a basket.

Reita: So you just take a few things in your hands?

Aoi: Yep.

Reita: But I’m sure the employees prefer that. Like if it was super busy and I came up with a basket full of things, I would feel bad for them.

Aoi: But the manager probably likes that.

(both laugh)

Aoi: Oh, by the way, do you know those…scratchcards?

Reita: Yeah, yeah.

Aoi: Those are pretty common lately, eh?

Reita: Like, if you spend more than 700 yen you get one?

Aoi: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Reita: I just got one of those yesterday. Do you do them?



Aoi: I’ve never taken one before.

Reita: You say no?

Aoi: Yeah.

Reita: WHAT!? I got three yesterday, and I won on all of them!

(Aoi laughing)

Reita: You usually win like tea or coffee. Why don’t you take them?

Aoi: I can’t be bothered to pick one and scratch it.

Reita: But the one I got yesterday, you don’t scratch it. You just draw a card and open it up and it’s written on it already.

Aoi: Oh really? In that case I wanna do it.

Reita: Yeah!

Aoi: Yeah just scratching it is so annoying.

Reita: The place where I go, you just take it, and it’s written on the back.

Aoi: Oh, I see~

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Reita and Aoi talking about dreams they’ve had (Rajigaze Jan 13)

Reita: Ring-name, “I am searching for the meaning of my single eyelids.” Good luck in your search.

(Aoi gigglin)

Reita: I have double eyelids so this has nothing to do with me. “Reita-san, Aoi-san, happy new year. On this month’s theme of Dreams, this is a dream I had on New Year’s Eve. I remember it vividly, and I thought it was interesting so I decided to write you. I dreamt that I met Kai-san on a tropical island somewhere, and we got married.”

(Aoi makes laugh/throat-clearing hybrid noise) 

Reita: “Then, I realize that I do not have much longer left to live, and I enter a coffin while I’m still alive like the Buddha.” (did buddha do this idk) “Then my husband Kai starts hitting mokugyo [wooden blocks in a temple] together and chanting.” (i think this is some buddhist ceremony i’m sorry i don’t know shit lol) “And that’s when I woke up. I’ve had lots of dreams about going to the GazettE’s lives, but this was the first time that only one of you was in the dream. And also the fact that this was the last dream I had in 2016 – not so much the part with Kai but that I died – I’m kinda worried it’s some sort of omen.”

(both chucklin)

Aoi: I see.  

Reita: I can totally picture him hitting the mokugyo together

Aoi: Right?? But I wonder if they were actually mokugyo

Reita: (chucklin) Do you ever have weird dreams like this?

Aoi: Hmm….not really? 

Reita: Then how about this, do you remember the first dream you had this year?

Aoi: I………..I haven’t had any dreams recently tbh.  

Reita: Ah, you’re sleeping well! (laughs)

Aoi: Yeh (gigglin) Have you had any dreams this year?

Reita: I have, but they’re too weird to talk about on the radio. 

Aoi: Ahhhhh

Reita: Yeeeeeah

(both Ojisan Chuckle)

Reita: But do you ever have dreams like before a live where you mess up? 

Aoi: Only once.

Reita: Oh really!?

Aoi: Yeah, I dreamed once that it was time to go out on stage but my makeup wasn’t finished yet – just once tho.

(r u KIDDING me ALL of u come out w no makeup thats a good ass dream imo)

Reita: How did you feel?

Aoi: I was panicking so much.

Reita: Right? 

Aoi: But it was only once – you have dreams like that all the time, don’t you.

Reita: Yeah, I do – so what, does that mean like you don’t get nervous [before a live]? You don’t worry at all? 

Aoi: I guess I just don’t really look forward to them?

(both laugh)

Reita: Oh so that’s what it is ok (laughs) I see…but those dreams are so real when I have them

Aoi: Omg right???

Reita: Yeh…..

Aoi: Damn……

Reita: For real……

Aoi: Yeah……

Reita: I dreamed that Ruki’s like “okay guys listen to this new song,” and Kai does a count-in, and everyone just starts playing it and I’m like,,,, tf I don’t know this song??????

(Aoi laughing very much)

Reita: Like it seems so real 

Aoi: That would be so funny if we pranked u 

Reita: I’d be like : - O 

(Aoi still laughing) 

Reita: You know how like recently on tour when it’s someone birthday we’ll do the whole surprise thing with the cake and stuff…we always kinda do it the same way you know?

Aoi: Mhm.

Reita: I wanna try doing something more elaborate.

Aoi: Yeah…

Reita: But then we have to practice (laughs) I don’t wanna have to do that (laughs) Anyway do you ever have scary dreams?

Aoi: Yeah.

Reita: Like, what kind, gho-

Aoi: Ghosts. Ghosts.

(Reita laughing) 

Aoi: Obviously ghosts. 

Reita: You hate ghosts don’t you

Aoi: I hate them. If you say you’re scared u become a ghost (???????)

Reita: (still laughing) Oh really!? …I haven’t had any ghost dreams recently. 

Aoi: Oh really?

Reita: Yeah – I’ll have dreams where I’m like getting chased or something though, that kinda scary dream. 

Aoi: Ahhh, well that’s kind of a ghost dream.

Reita: (laughing) No I’m getting chased by people.

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Girl: *is getting treated like shit at Disney*

Uruha: Aw, it would have been nice if the cast went and cheered her up –

Reita: POKE THEIR EYES OUT WITH A CHURRO

[cali-in-reverse]

Reita: if I was the dude who cheated I would eat the chicken

Reita: if I was the woman who got cheated on I would eat the chicken

[uruhasbubble-tea]

Visit Original Link

just an audio of Aoi saying:

“Marry me, I will leave my wife for you.”

and Kai laughing in the background.

translate by: wack-moral @ tumblr

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If u want ur question answered u gotta make ur ring name Abe-chan

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Reita and Aoi don’t like shopping for clothes (Rajigaze Jan 13)

Reita (reading mail): “Reita-san, Aoi-san, good evening. I’m writing you about one of this month’s themes, Anger. Last week you guys were talking about store employees [who pissed you off]”

Aoi: Ah yes yes (*the one where the cashier kept asking Aoi if he was sure he’d grabbed the right size of underwear as if he didn’t believe him)

Reita: “Last month I also got pissed off by a store employee for the first time in a while. I wanted to buy a new coat, so I was looking at them when one of the staff came and talked to me. Everything was fine until I tried it on, what happened after was the problem. I understand that [the staff] wanted to sell the coat, but they were trying to do so by comparing it to the one I was wearing that day. And maybe it was just the way they were saying it, but it felt like they were making fun of me, and I was really uncomfortable. Have you two ever experienced something like that?” – so I guess it was like, well your coat is like this but our coat is like – more stylish or something? 

Aoi: Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah 

Reita: Like saying her coat wasn’t as good?

Aoi: Yeah exactly. 

(Reita chuckles) 

Reita: I listened to your Anger talk last week you know

Aoi: Oh did you? 

Reita: Yeah, that guy who was like, “is this the right size,” right? (laughs) 

Aoi: Oh yEAH!

(both laugh) 

Reita: He asked u twice right…yeah I listened to that one

Aoi: Yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh…but you know I don’t really think many people talk about [the clothes they’re selling] in comparison with the ones you’re wearing…

Reita: Right? I don’t think they usually do that, no one’s ever done it to me…

Aoi: Well I guess everyone’s different

Reita: How do you feel about like – you know when you’re clothes shopping, the staff comes and talks to you a lot. Are you ok w that? 

Aoi: Omg no they talk to me so much omg 

Reita: (laughs) It’s annoying eh? 

Aoi: Yes…..

Reita: So they come up to u and ask “what are u looking for”……wyd

Aoi: NOPE

Reita: (laughing) What do you mean nope 

Aoi: I’m like noooope

Reita: They’re like “are you looking for a jacket?”

Aoi: Ughhhhhhh

Reita: It’s annoying when they ask, right?

Aoi: Well-uhh-yeh– (can’t talk)

(both laugh)

Reita: Like it’s fine if they’re like “feel free to try that on” and ur like “k thanks” and that’s it but…when they start explaining their products…

Aoi: Well I mean I don’t really…

Reita: Oh you don’t go clothes shopping that much anyway? Like once every few months?

Aoi: I probably go like once or twice a year. 

Reita: Ahhhh…

Aoi: So I don’t really know what stores are like.

Reita: Yeah same…and I always go to the same few stores, and it’s the same people working there all the time, so like…I wait on the third floor or something, and they bring the clothes up for me. 

Aoi: Wait what, like the clothes you wanna try on?

Reita: No they just bring a bunch of stuff up and I just try it on, and then they bring more stuff (laughs)

Aoi: Oh u famous huh

Reita: (laughing) No no no it’s just – [the store] goes all the way to the basement, so –

Aoi: So just go down there yourself. 

Reita: Nah I’m just like “bring me something good please.”

Aoi: (whispers) Damn,,,,,,,,,,,,

Reita: (laughs) But yeah I don’t really like going to clothing stores…so what, you buy them online?

Aoi: Yeah I do. 

Reita: Yeah I feel u. But you get the size wrong don’t you (laughs) 

Aoi: Yeh….yeh I do…….

Reita: Ruki used to always give me clothes that were the wrong size (laughs) he always gets the size wrong

Aoi: But even when it’s the same brand, sometimes the sizes are a little bit different depending on the thing, you know? 

Reita: Yeah totally.

Aoi: It’s unbelievable. 

Reita: It happens…like u get a shirt that’s way too small for u

Aoi: Like if it’s too big I can deal with it…but when it’s small

Reita: (laughs) if it’s small u can’t do shit w it

Aoi: Yes…

[259paradox]

Rajigaze 29.9

DON’T REPOST; IF YOU WANT TO SHARE IT, SHARE THE LINK:

Re: just ….3 days ago we finished Makuhari right? U: yeah Re: how was it? U: t was the best! but suddenly it was just over! (Reita is laughing in bg) Re: Did you maybe even cry? U: ah yeah, in the end we were both crying while having an arm over the shoulder of the other person right? Re is dying bc of laughter

these two are really in a great mood

Uruha doesn’t give a shit- he can drink out of the same cup,or use the same straw or eat from the same onigiri as another person Uruha would also be ok to share softcream, but wouldn’t be okay if Reita would be the person to share it with lol

Re: (reading fanmail) and UruhaUruhaUruha-san… I wish they’d stop that right? U: yeah it’s a little…

Reita isn’t using coupons, bc it’s difficult to use them

U: the yellow sheese…well chese is mostly yellow… but the yellow cheese…

Re: I want proteinchips! They don’t sell them in the conbini.. Uruha ends up often in conbini at tours. he ends up always buying a bento and some dessert- like yoghurth or smth

U: you know while talking about Halloween… we wanted to hide Kai-sans birthday behind Halloween you know? Re: what really??? lol Reita and Uruha never dressed up for Halloween

a fan asked for avices how to get the crowd motivated bc his band will perform at the uni fest, the songs they picked:hyena,filth and Sludgy Uruha sugges taking a vides Re: yeah yeah there was times where I thought I moved around a lot and headbanged all the time, but noticed while watching the video, that I wasn’t moving at all

Re: what I was worried about…he’s covering gazettes song at the university festival… does everyone know gazette? U: they don’t right lol

thing they didn’t like as a child but now: Re: I have lots of them…Natto,or vegetables.. I can eat vegetables now tho U: you can’t eat Natto Re: I can

Re: my aunt and my mother were worried about me and brought me vegatable juice. That one was good U: that’s not a recent talk is it? Re: not really right? U: did you smoke at that time? Re:ah I probably did at that time U: ahh… Re: oi what is it you want to ask? U: Well it was around last year then? Re: what is with you?! Don’t fuck with me!!! I didn’t smoke for… at least 6 or 7 years! U: didn’t you steal one or two smokes from other members? Re: I didn’t!!!! U: or from the manager? Re: I didn’t smoke!!! U: like ops I did it… Re: not at all!!

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Make raji live and take phone calls

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Aoi reading birthday mail on the radio

“I wanted to wish Aoi a happy birthday so badly that I decided to write in for the first time. And now, to tell you how I feel about you……….I would like to request a song –” wait they’re not gonna say anything in between that??? Like how they feel about me???

[half-eaten-mantou]

Reita: I dreamed that I was smuggling guns when I was caught by an investigator, but the investigator turned out to be my mom so she let me off, aaaaanyhow RAJIGAZE is on tonight! starts at 2!

[wack-translations]

Aoi and Reita discuss girls who pee together (Rajigaze Jan 20)

(Dark Side Mail) 

Reita: “The other day I had a negative conversation with my coworker, and it reminded me of this story from when I was in high school. One day after school, I went out to eat with my friends and one of their friends, there were maybe 4 or 5 of us. We were all having a good time, when one of my friend’s friends said they had to go to the bathroom. They stood up and were like, ‘I bet you guys are gonna start talking shit about me as soon as I’m gone.’ We weren’t thinking that in the slightest, but they weirdly convinced me that some people actually do that. Since then, whenever I go out with two or more people, I’m a little scared to go to the bathroom. I do think it was that friend’s Dark Side, but couldn’t you say I have a Dark Side too since they influenced me? Are you two more positive people or negative people? Are there ever times where you think, ‘wow I’m being really negative’? I’m negative in that if a group of people near me are laughing, I assume they’re laughing at me….Happy Birthday Aoi-san.”

Aoi: Aww thank u for that!!!

Reita: “We Rock.”

Aoi: Hmm but like…idk I feel this! I’m pretty negative so 

Reita: Yeah but like (laughing) do you say “I bet you’re gonna talk shit about me as soon as I leave…?” Like, I’ve heard that girls say that kinda stuff but…

Aoi: I say that sometimes!

Reita: Huh??

Aoi: Like, heard u was talkin shit

Reita: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Aoi: Like, U THOUGHT

Reita: Oh you say it like that huh

Aoi: Ye

Reita: Yeah but at least that way it sounds tough u know?

Aoi: Yeah for sure

Reita: I feel like you’ll get shit-talked because you said that tho (laughs)

Aoi: Ah yeah…hmm…..

Reita: But I guess some people are just like that huh.

Aoi: No but, if people around me are laughing I also think they’re laughing at me!

Reita: Really!?

Aoi: Yeah! That’s why I don’t like trains and buses and…public places like that…

Reita: You think people will talk about you?

Aoi: Yeah, and it’s not like I’m overly self-conscious or anything, I’m just thinking like….what if…..

Reita: What if it’s me [they’re laughing at etc]?

Aoi: Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Reita: Ahhhh….

Aoi: Hmmm…yeah…

Reita: I never think that, like, what if they’re laughing at me and stuff

Aoi: Yeah u don’t huh

Reita: But one time in Shibuya Uruha heard someone say “that dude’s hair is long!!!”

Aoi: (laughing) omg really??

Reita: (laughing) Yeah, like, there’s definitely ppl in Shibuya with longer hair! Why are you talking about him?

Aoi: Right…

Reita: But anyway, I heard girls invite other girls to go to the bathroom with them so they won’t talk shit [while they’re gone]. 

Aoi: Really?

Reita: Well idk if it’s true but I’m sure some of them do 

Aoi: So what do they do about…u know…peeing together…the sound…u know…we’re fine bc we can just hit that angle [where the pee doesn’t make noise gwuhisdolgh] can girls do that too?

Reita: Girls can probably hit some angle too 

(both laugh)

Aoi: Man, I’ve always wondered about that so much! Cause like, it’s water underneath right?

Reita: Omg right

Aoi: Right

Reita: Tru

Aoi: Tru…like..what do u get out of peeing with ur friend

(both laugh)

Reita: Yeah and like, with guys it’s standing, right, so we can stand next to each other and have a conversation, but girls have stalls, right?

Aoi: Yeh

Reita: Wouldn’t you be scared to have a conversation in stalls? (laughs) Like if someone came in…

Aoi: Totally…idk….

Reita: Like why do they invite each other to the bathroom? 

Aoi: Hmm…

Reita: Is there some reason they don’t like going alone?

Aoi: Hmm…

Reita: Omg wouldn’t it be scary if like, you had a group Line with 5 friends, and then like 3 or 4 of them had their own group line??

Aoi: Ahh, it happens.

Reita: ……..Can I see ur Line groups

Aoi: No no no no no no

Reita: (laughs) U guys don’t have a Line group?

Aoi: No no no no no. Trust me!

Reita: But I bet kids at school totally do that. I would feel so bad…if I was a principal I would make it so that the school didn’t get service

(both laugh)

[wack-translations]

Reita alludes to Kai’s huge dick (Rajigaze Jan 20)

Reita (reading mail): “Reita-san, Aoi-san, good evening. Happy birthday, Aoi-san!”

Aoi: thku

Reita: “Here is my Dark Side Mail…I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. We hold hands and kiss and stuff, but we haven’t done anything further than that. I don’t really like “doing it,” I can’t get in the mood to do it and it’s troubling me. I feel sorry for my boyfriend, but it’s just really unpleasant for me, and I don’t have any interest in it. Is this my Dark Side? Reita-san, Aoi-san, please tell me your opinions, and I’ll consider it!” 

Aoi: (whispering) Hmm……I see…

Reita: (also whispering) But like dude….they’ve been dating one year….

Aoi: She won’t just put him out of his misery huh…

Reita: (laughing) Right…..it’s not that she’s getting release from somewhere else [cheating] 

Aoi: Yeah, she just doesn’t like it period, right?

Reita: Yeah…well she might not like it, but how long can her boyfriend endure it – I mean, he’s already endured a year…he’s probably gonna ask her about it sometime soon, no? (laughs)

Aoi: No, like, I’m sure he already has many times.

Reita: Hm…I wonder if he knows it’s unpleasant for her?

Aoi: ……But like…..what does she mean by that? ….like, does she mean she doesn’t like getting that intimate with someone? Or like…

Reita: Well…

Aoi: It’s just a thing she doesn’t wanna do or

Reita: Like it hurts or something or…I see…but they hold hands and kiss right

Aoi: Yes

Reita: Right, so, maybe she doesn’t wanna take her clothes off, or…there must be a reason!

Aoi: Maybe she’s embarrassed? No that can’t be it…

Reita: I wonder why…

Aoi: But they kiss?

Reita: Yeah! But like, at this rate…don’t you think her boyfriend will…go to someone else?

Aoi: Yeah, I think so.

Reita: Right (laughs) like…I would understand if she told him like, “I’m never gonna do it, I can’t do it, please find someone else to do it with,” and they made an agreement like that

Aoi: Hmmmm…

Reita: But it doesn’t seem like that’s gonna happen?? If she’s like, “you can’t cheat on me,” like….idk how that’s gonna work….

Aoi: Hmm……

(*this might sound bad and while the majority of ppl in Japan would not forgive their partner for cheating, I have heard a few times of agreements like this where girls let their boyfriends use a prostitute or something bc they can’t or don’t want to have sex w him)

Reita: I want a mail from the boyfriend too.

Aoi: Hmm…I wonder if something bad happened [to the girl I think?] 

Reita: Maybe her boyfriend….is Leader-sized.

Aoi: (whispers) …..omg…could be…..

Reita: Could be…..3D.

(IN A PREVIOUS MAIL THEY SAID KAI WEARS 3D UNDERWEAR ASOFIHEWOIAJFOSJHVDIJSAFO DOES THAT JUST MEAN HIS HUGE DONG IS STICKING OUT)

(both laughing)

Reita: Well, there could be many reasons, we don’t know. But I think at this rate, it’s not gonna end well. 

Aoi: Yeah, I think so…if I was that guy…I feel bad for him man…

Reita: Same…

Aoi: Hmm….

Reita: Well, she did say she was gonna consider our opinions…so I guess it’s up to us.

Aoi: Just…give it a try once?

Reita: Hmm…yeah…

Aoi: Well I mean, I don’t know…is he a good guy? 

Reita: Yeah, we don’t know that!

Aoi: I mean like if he’s really young or something don’t do it…

Reita: Yes. We would have liked more information, but anyway, we’d like you to try.

Aoi: Yes.

[wack-translations]

Ruki and Kai steal pieces of the boys’ food (Rajigaze Jan 20)

Reita (reading mail): “Aoi-san, Reita-san, good evening. This is just something I thought about New Year parties. Usually at end of year parties and new year parties there are a lot of platters of like fried chicken and french fries, don’t you wonder about those two or three pieces that are always left? Like, do u take the platter away or not?”

(Aoi giggling)

Reita: So what do u think?

Aoi: *ojisan grunt* Hm..mmm……mhhh…..I mean, I definitely….uh…hmmm yeah idk

Reita: Okay what if there was one piece left, would you take it?

Aoi: No I couldn’t

(Reita laughing) 

Aoi: I mean, I have a lot of kouhais so…

Reita: Ohh, in that case I get it.

Aoi: In those cases don’t eat that much. Because I want everyone to eat, you know?

Reita: You can’t eat it and you’re like, aww someone took the fried chicken (laughs)

Aoi: But I mean everyone gets full you know?

Reita: Oh I guess so yeah

Aoi: Yeah

Reita: Yeah I guess when there’s only one piece left I can’t take it either. 

Aoi: Right

Reita: But tbh don’t you just want someone to take it??

Aoi: Yeahh! If we run out we can just order more u know?

Reita: Yeah, right? So you’d think we could just take it, but we can’t.

Aoi: Yeeeep.

Reita: When the members eat together, do we leave pieces?

(Aoi giggles)

Reita: I feel like the type-B’s don’t care about that

Aoi: Yeah they don’t

Reita: (laughing) But I’m actually thankful for that!

Aoi: Yeah…but sometimes they piss me off

Reita: (laughing) What why what they do

Aoi: Well…I don’t wanna ruin their reputation or anything…..

Reita: Like, we order something and there’s exactly five things, and then we realize that one of them has eaten two (laughing)

Aoi: Omg all the time!! I’m like excuse me something is missing???

(Reita laughing)

Aoi: Like I notice it and I’m like…y’all fucked up…

(both laughing)

[wack-translations]

Aoi describes to everyone the underwear he is wearing today (Rajigaze Jan 20)

(Dark Side Mail)

Reita: “I love Aoi so much that for a while now I’ve really wanted to know what kind of underwear he wears. I wonder what shape and colour underwear he wears, sometimes I can’t even sleep at night. My dark side just keeps getting deeper. Aoi-san, please tell me so I don’t disappear into the darkness, what kind of underwear are you wearing today??” 

(both laughing)

(both make ojisan sighing noises)

Reita: I guess women care about the colour of men’s underwear, too.

Aoi: Yeah…

Reita: I wonder what colour they like? 

Aoi: Yeah I don’t know! But recently guys wear mostly boxers right?

Reita: Yeah you’re right! 

Aoi: And there’s so many different patterns!

Reita: Oh I just always wear plain black ones…(starts laughing) but you wear pretty flashy underwear don’t you Aoi-san??

Aoi: Yes I do! Very very flashy ones.

Reita: (laughing) You do! Like almost psychedelic.

Aoi: Yes, psychedelic. 

Reita: Are you wearing psychedelic underwear today?

Aoi: Probably.

(Reita bursts our laughing)

Aoi: I don’t really have any plain ones

Reita: Oh you don’t?

Aoi: Yeah, the only time I’ll wear plain underwear is if I shower after a live and I have no underwear to change into, then the stylist gives me some. 

Reita: Ah.

Aoi: Their own underwear I mean.

Reita: WHAT!!! You perv!!!!

(Aoi laughing)

Reita: They give you some that they had ready for you right

Aoi: Yes yes yes yes, and that’s the only time.

Reita: Ah…..also Kai wears like…Disney underwear (laughing)

Aoi: Yeahh….like idk if I have any Disney but

Reita: He has like Mickey and stuff

(both laughing v hard)

Aoi: Some 3D stuff

(wtf is 3D underwear)

Reita: But yeah I normally just wear plain ones. I can’t be bothered so I just buy a bunch of the same one. 

Aoi: Ahh….

Reita: Like I do have different patterns, but I have a bunch of the same kind you know….maybe I’ll try getting different ones! I wanna have more fun with my underwear. 

(both laugh)

Reita: Nice…so what kind of underwear are you wearing today? You don’t have to go into too much detail if u don’t want to

Aoi: Ahh today….I havee… (I really hope he is checking rn) so they’re pink

Reita: HHHH-

Aoi: And there’s hot air balloons on them

Reita: HOT AIR BALLOONS

(both laughing)

Aoi: They have like a sky-blue and…white pattern and…yeah just cheerful underwear with a bunch of hot air balloons floating around you know?

Reita: (laughing) Ok so a pink background, with hot air balloons. Pls everyone imagine this. 

Aoi: Yes

[wack-translations]

Aoi experiences his first Abe-chan story and he LOVES it (Rajigaze Jan 20)

Reita (reading mail): “I’m the twice-divorced Abe-chan who’s always dating shit men. No matter how old men get, they still want young and pretty/cute women, don’t they. I’m a nurse, and one day a patient pushed the call button, so I went over and kindly asked, ‘what can I do for you?’ He just looked at me and without saying anything he pushed the call button again. I said, ‘but I’m right here,’ and the patient, who was an 86 year old man btw, says ‘change,’ and pushes the button again” (laughing) “I asked him, am I not good enough? And he just nods deeply and says that he doesn’t want an ugly 40-something. The two husbands I had before would say I had a cuteness they’d never get tired of, but then they would turn around and call me ugly. I guess I’ve never really been spoiled by a man before. But I can live without relying on a man!! I’m gonna become a Buddhist priest!!!!”

(both laughing)

Aoi: I like Abe-chan!

Reita: She’s like…a positive pessimist.  

Aoi: But…she’s been married twice right?

Reita: Yes.

Aoi: That’s amazing

Reita: It must mean she’s charming, right? 

Aoi: Aww Abe-chan….

Reita: But they pressed the call button on her again 

(both laugh)

Aoi: Stuff like that actually happens…..

Reita: I guess it does (chuckling)

Aoi: Dang….I see…..

Reita: All we can say is I see

Aoi: Right

(laughing)

Reita: We can’t say anything to u

Aoi: So she sends mail often?

Reita: She does! Last time, on the Christmas episode, she talked about…I guess it was her first husband? They were married at the time, and she’d gotten off work early, so she bought a cake and came home dressed as Santa, when she saw black heels in the entrance. And then she went inside, and saw her husband cheating on her. So, she threw the cake in the woman’s face, and shoved chicken into her husbands mouth, screamed Merry Christmas, and left the house.

(Aoi is dying laughing and clapping)  

Reita: Abe-chan….really is crazy…..

Aoi: (wheezing) This is the most I’ve laughed this year 

[Honestly Aoi is laughing so much at this part and it makes me so happy so I strongly urge u to listen https://youtu.be/OQ8w4BzEpgY?t=13m59s this is around where Reita is telling the climax of the story]

Aoi: Amazing.

Reita: Yes, here at Rajigaze we are fans of Abe-chan. 

(HE’S STILL LAUGHING)

Reita: Maybe someday we can speak to her on the phone. 

Aoi: This is so funny

[wack-translations]

Reita wants to make a human centipede with all the boys (Rajigaze Jan 20)

(The theme this month is Dreams)

Reita (reading mail): “I’ve dreamed about the GazettE twice. I don’t really remember the first one, but in the second one, the Halloween live had been made into a DVD, and you could see me in it just left of the middle of the stage. My friends who went with me were in it too, so it seemed so real.” …so…yeah that’s it.

Aoi: Just letting us know huh!!!

(both laugh)

Aoi: I see. Well…we’re not making a DVD for that~

Reita: Yeah we’re not. We did talk about filming it tho didn’t we.

Aoi: We did~

Reita: We did~ 

Aoi: I mean, I think some people would be happy if we had, but…for what purpose u know?

Reita: Right~ There’s something special about only being able to see it on that one day.

Aoi: Yeah, like you know how sometimes lives are broadcast?

Reita: Yes, lives are broadcast.

Aoi: Yeah yeah yeah….oh wait no!!!

Reita: (laughing) Oh, do you mean like streaming? 

Aoi: Yeah yeah! And it’s like…just come to the show!

Reita: Well, I guess.

Aoi: That’s the best way to enjoy a live!!

Reita: It is.

Aoi: It’s just not the same.

Reita: Yeah you’re really right…a live is the only time you can really experience it in the flesh.

Aoi: Yes, so we really want you guys to come see us!

Reita: Right!

Aoi: Yes.

Reita: Starting on March 10th. We’ve just announced the tickets and we really want you to come. 

Aoi: Yes.

Reita: And we might do a Halloween live again too right?

Aoi: Hmm…Yeah I think so! Cause we got a taste for the success

(both laugh)

Aoi: I mean it was fun! It was really fun! 

Reita: Honestly it was super fun. And it was our first time too you know

Aoi: Yeahhh

Reita: In costumes and everything

Aoi: Yes yes yes yes

Reita: So what do you wanna wear next time? 

Aoi: Oh next time I’m wearing ears. 

(both laugh)

Reita: Like a certain someone

Aoi: Maybe I’ll wear a tail too

Reita: Actually?

Aoi: Ye

Reita: All dressed eh

Aoi: All dressed (laughing) I want to be the most dressed up one

Reita: Ahh nice Aoi: But someone’s gonna copy me 

Reita: Let’s all just all do it. Let’s all wear tails…

(Aoi gigglin)

Reita: I wanna do that human centipede thing

Aoi: (laughing) You say that all the time omg

(both laughing)

Aoi: (dying) You’re always saying that, do you like that movie ??

Reita: I haven’t actually seen it, but…it’s just such a novel idea, so…idk I like it!

Aoi: (deceased) It’s so out there

Reita: Wait did you watch it?

Aoi: I did!

Reita: Damn u really did!

Aoi: My senpai told me about it, I was like oh huh~

Reita: What that it’s good?

Aoi: Yeah yeah, like they even went to see it in the theater that’s how much they like it…I mean, I guess it was kinda interesting. 

Reita: Mhm…it’s just so novel

Aoi: It is novel.

Reita: Yeah so like, we should have the curtain open and the five of us are a human centipede

Aoi: (can’t breathe) that’s so funnyuhsidlkggg…..

Reita: I wanna do it~

reblog with ur suggested Human Centipede Order