the pretty girl midnight extreme

if anybody comes into our room while we're asleep, I hope they incinerate everybody in it- she/her

[bippus]

Turning dog gravity off so they all get whisked away

[cyelatm]

[cyelatm]

[cyelatm]

[pickypicnic]

[toskarin]

I mean you've threatened to kill me a bunch of times. You once told me you were gonna drown me in a river like a kangaroo.

[warm laugh of fond reminiscence] I did do that

[dogpuppy]

[neurodecadence]

the Bart of tindalos

[3000s]

what the hell did i do

[3000s]

home goods blocked me

[3000s]

they told me to go Home cause i'm no Goods

[newholecity]

my monogamist remarked i came out younger than average (~23). is that true? i suppose everyone feels late

[newholecity]

a dear friend remarks on this post that she realized she was trans at age 20 but stayed closeted for many years after. this is a pretty common experience but i always get confused by it. caveats abt people who cant safely transition aside, transition felt so immediate and necessary to me at the time that every other concern faded into the background. i suppose it did take me several years, but they were several years of momentum and exploration (friends put makeup on me at a party -> become Boy Who Wears Nail Polish -> start crossdressing -> etc). by the time i realized i was a woman i had socially been a woman for a few months. and these days i would consider myself someone who just kind of does stuff without caring much what some asshole in the street thinks. but that really was NOT me back then. i was an archetypical shy autistic nerd who was afraid to exist too loudly. why was i bold enough to do something as insane as loudly and publicly transition when many people i admire seemed to take a long time to work up to it? i wasnt even in intolerable pain being a boy. mostly just unpleasant static where my "self" was. something abt my particular material circumstances? maybe transition was the first real thing i ever did and it self-created someone capable of existing in the world. idk!

[radish-club]

This is very relatable, especially the parts about the sense of immediacy and the lack of "intolerable pain" (and also the age).

I was 23, never met any trans people before, went from being certain I wasn't trans (I never heard the word "cis" until several months into transition) to being certain I was in the space of about a day. I then got on hrt and came out full time before I turned 24.

Like I it occurred to me I might be, I start poking around online, and I saw some variation of that classic line about "most cis people don't constantly wish they were blah blah" and figured it was more than likely that I was (more than likely was good enough, as nothing is ever certain). So I immediately started looking at ways to get hrt right away.

Never went through a phase experimenting around with other genders or pronouns maybe because I was not familiar with the concept of being nonbinary until I was already 2 years in.

I never framed it the way you put it, being the first real thing I did and creating someone who could exist in the world. But that more or less describes it.

[gael-garcia]

Son of the White Mare (1981 🇭🇺), directed by Marcell Jankovics

[mysteriousgap]

i don’t remember whether i’ve told this story on here but when i was like 12 my dad gave me some pop-science or self-help or something-in-the-middle book about memory & how to improve it. & in the book there was a story — i might have completely misunderstood it at 12, bear with me — about a guy who had a brain parasite eat part of his brain & lost most of his capacity to remember anything. this of course scared me a lot & thus still remains the only part of that book that i remember

[poison-doll]

every time i see the abbreviation "impcore" i am briefly transported to an alternate dimension that has a heretofore unknown music genre that slaps hardstyle and then i snap back into reality where there is an imperial core

[radish-club]

There was this SNES rpg I played as a kid that I cannot remember the name of. I never owned it but I played it a few times at my cousins' house.

It mostly had a traditional fantasy vibe but some enemies had guns and there would be more "modern" foods like pizza and tacos that could be bought for health.

The biggest thing I remember was around the unique stuff it did with it player character roster. It was one of those rpgs that had an extensive cast of playable characters (upwards of 30 or so I think) you could swap into you party but unlike most you start with all of them at the beginning of the game. You could only travel with 4 at a time, but change up the party alignment at Inns (except for the main guy who was always there).

One of the weirder things was, once one of your party members fell in combat, they would actually die permanently (unless you raised them while combat was still ongoing, but I never got far enough to get those items or spells or whatever). If one or more characters did die you would get the choice to add one of the benched characters at that point.

That wasn't the only way to lose party members. Occasionally while walking through the overworld, you would be stopped, a party member would have a voice bubble that would say "goodbye" and they'd walk off screen. They would no longer appear on the bench and you'd be one party member down until you returned to an inn to add another.

The whole goodbye event was very unsettling as a child and stuck with me all these years. My only guess is there was some sort of loyalty mechanic that required upkeep somehow but I was not engaging with it (I was pretty young and tended to skip past or not pay attentionto tutorial portions of games).

As for the characters themselves I don't remember much. The protagonist was named something generic like Max or Jack or something. The various party members didn't have super distinctive designs for the most part and kind blurred together. I remember there was one dude with a bird face (a mask maybe?) and a healer named Juno.

[radish-club]

I once lived in a place that was used as an establishing shot in like one episode of Breaking Bad and did not realize this until I was in said place watching Breaking Bad. Very surreal experience.

[plastiboo]

[awoooniper]

i should have powers. i should be able to crumple people like aluminum cans with my mind. i promise i’d be really good with them and never lose my temper. i’d only go make the mall food court look like someone smashed a pallet of chunky tomato soup loke once a week. maybe twice tops. i’d behave.

[frodo-of-the-nine-fingers]

immortality as theft (you have to steal life from something else) immortality as parasitism (there is something else inside You that is keeping you alive and you become less of yourself more and more the longer it stays in you) immortality as violence (everything is trying to kill you because everything is supposed to die and the universe will always try to find a way to right the wrong that is You) you understand

[ninewheels]

#at least once a month I think about that one post about laminating a paper towel#and how that makes it immortal but also forever prevents it from fulfilling its true purpose#yes you will live. but at the cost of everything that makes you You

(courtesy of noknowshame)

[memsevpersonal]

Sometimes I think of this post,m and also think of that post about how a lot of H. P. Lovecrafts horror writing was really just him being very mentally rigid.

something something -unfathomable size of the universe - something - how big is the universe? BIG, you already knew that - something something.

theft - yeah, it's called eating. Every time you eat, be it plant or animal, you are taking their life energy (calories, whatever) and using them to power your own continued life.

parasitism - your cells are in constant change, every seven or ten or however many years it is, you aren't (physically) the same set of cells that you were born with.

violence - point of view. Entropy is in itself not violent. It is a simple function of physics. Everything dies, or otherwise changes form, eventually.

you aren't the same person you were ten years ago, so it stands to reason that if you lived another hundred, you wouldn't be the same person you are today. Live long enough you WOULD be unrecognizable, but that's only natural.

Then there is the oft quoted one - everyone you love will die before you. Yeah, that happens sometimes. Sometimes you are the last one standing of your loved ones, through luck (bad/good is irrelevant and a matter of perspective), health, or random circumstance. People you love are always going to die eventually, regardless of how long you live. It is up to you how you deal with that.

Immortality isn't scary, and as long as you keep yourself open to new experiences, it isn't boring either. You just have to be able to accept change, which I think many people don't want to.