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@stainlesssteellocust
I'm very worried about how out-of-touch the general population is getting with food. I was talking to a friend today and mentioned how I was excited to have wild muscadines growing beside my blueberry bushes again, and (after I explained what muscadines are) they asked if they were safe to eat. Do you guys know where fruit comes from? If not, I may also have some very alarming news about my cattle.
Screw it. Welcome to my masterlist of ways to make your own food.
Your mileage may vary with some of these, but I've tried to include things that can be used across many different living situations & budgets. I promise these things are easier than you think! Your ancestors did them for thousands of years, and you're living proof that they were doing something right.
And as a reminder: There's no act too small here. All three of the pictures below contain something that has been in my belly by this point, with varying levels of investment & effort. 👇
Gardening
Outdoor
Beginner Gardening Guide 101 - A great list of links for beginning your garden, including in urban environments.
What to Plant Now - Learn what plants are best to grow in your specific climate zone.
Common Sense Gardening Advice for the Beginner
Landscaping & Gardening in Arsenic and Lead Contaminated Soil
Best Vegetables to Grow for Beginners
Growing Vegetables in Containers - EXCELLENT page to check out if you want to use pots instead of growing directly into the ground. There's a whole list of container-happy crops and their preferred sizes.
Indoor
Indoor Gardening for Beginners: An Ultimate Guide - Pretty comprehensive guide. They discuss a lot of the different options you've got when it comes to indoor gardening.
How to Grow Vegetables Indoors (Easy Beginner's Guide)
How to Grow an Indoor Survival Garden - Yeah preppers get kinda weird with it, but this guide has some great tips on grow lights, drainage, containers, etc.
(The next few bullet points are going to be specifically on hydroponics because I'm a nerd and I LOVE hydroponic gardens. They're super easy to maintain. I have one in my kitchen for growing herbs. <3)
A Beginner's Guide to Hydroponics - VERY good place to start!
DIY Hydroponic Garden - If you don't want to buy a pre-built hydroponic garden, this is also a really solid option. It's basically just a storage tub, water bubbler, and grow light.
Preserving Food
Everything here is a huge help for cutting down on food waste!
Root Cellaring for Beginners - On the pricier end of these projects, but often worth it if you plan to grow a lot of stuff. I <3 root cellars.
Quick Pickling 101 - If you want to start pickling stuff, start here. Quick pickling is your gateway. Just keep in mind that quick pickled foods have a shorter shelf life since they aren't properly canned.
Preserving Food and Canning for Beginners - Goes over water bath and pressure canning. Water bath canning in particular is pretty easy to get into.
Curing Onions for Storage
The Dos and Donts of Harvesting, Curing, and Storing Garlic
4 Simple Ways to Dry Herbs - I often just microwave mine, lol.
Salt Curing for Beginners
Simple Homemade Staples
Yes, you can make this stuff!
Farmer's Cheese - If you have milk and vinegar, you have cheese. I make this stuff all the time, especially if I've got a lot of brine leftover from a pickle jar.
Ricotta Cheese - Milk and lemon juice. Yummm.
Vanilla Extract - Also only two ingredients. My fellow Americans, please visit a Mexican grocery store for the best vanilla beans.
Beginner French Bread - I like to recommend this to people who haven't baked with yeast before. Yeast opens up a whole world of possibilities.
The Basics of Sourdough - Full honesty here, I hate sourdough. But my sister loves it, and I like watching people treat their starter like a pet. If you've ever wanted to own a slime, sourdough might be the perfect option fro you.
Homemade Pasta Dough
How to Make Vinegar from Scratch
How to make Yogurt at Home - Infinite yogurt hack.
Homemade Butter
Failproof Homemade Mayonnaise
Animal Husbandry & Meat
I'm just linking some very basic small animal stuff here, but raising your own meat animals is awesome and I strongly encourage it if you're in a position where it's possible. Just do your research and PLEASE connect with more experienced people!
Beginners' Guide to Keeping Chickens
Raising Rabbits for Meat: A Comprehensive Guide
Quail Basics for Beginners
How to Render Fat and Why
Tanning Rabbit Hides
Foraging, Hunting, & Fishing
This is the part where I beg you to please learn about your local ecosystem and laws before you try any of this. Particularly for hunting and fishing, you NEED to get licensed and learn with someone who knows what they're doing. Also idk anything about hunting laws outside the US, so I'm very sorry but this is going to be America-centric. </3
Foraging: a How-To Guide
How to Start Foraging - Really good guide for showing how to safely & ethically forage.
US State Hunting Websites - In the US, every state is a little different about its hunting rules. Know your region, and know your seasons. Most hunting seasons will have restrictions on harvest number, permitted weapons/methods, and animal size. Game wardens do not fuck around.
(I won't go over hunting methods themselves, because that's a huge category and you probably shouldn't learn how to shoot a rifle from a Tumblr post. I'm a compound bow weirdo anyway.)
Field Dressing a Deer for Beginners - Gore warning, obviously. I will note that this guide instructs you to remove the genitals from a buck. If you're in a state that requires you to keep the sex intact, don't do that.
^ If you're not good at this and you plan on eating the meat, please just keep the whole animal intact and pay a processor to do it for you. Otherwise you are going to get deer hair all over the meat.
Butchering and Preparing Wild Ducks
8 Rules of Roadkill - Good tips on the legality & safety of harvesting roadkill.
Getting Started with Fishing for Food - This is another thing I recommend learning with someone who has more experience, but this guide is a great way to get started.
Federal Fishing Rules and Regulations by Region - Fish law. Again, game wardens do not fuck around.
Composting
Now that you've done all of the above, here's what you do with the leftovers.
Composting at Home
Composting for Beginners
The Absolute Begginer's Guide to Composting
And thus the cycle begins again!
Enjoy your food hacks. If you want more suggestions or notice something stupid here, let me know.
the chad peter watts vs the virgin andy weir
lisa felt the need to request no tongue bc her shard told her exactly what taylor did to that poor girl
Umamusume is an extremely funny series to introduce to someone because not only is the core premise absurd (gijinkas of famous Japanese racehorses who run races that mirror the careers of the horses they're based on while also being idols), but it feels like every other writing and worldbuilding decision is somehow even more absurd than the last
The series takes place at what is ostensibly a high school but the umas have careers that occur years if not decades apart. The umas do not age, no one appears to ever leave Tracen Academy if they don't want to and there is no satisfying explanation for how this works
Despite, again, all of then ostensibly being in high school, some umas act like grown adults who pay taxes and others act like they're no more than 8 years old
Canonically, no one gambles on the uma races.
The creators had to patch some of the story dialogue because they accidentally created a timeline where the modern day Republic of Ireland has a monarchy
Super Creek wants you to do age regression with her because she likes playing mommy
Admire Vega had a twin sister who was aborted in the womb and said dead fetus is now a literal ghost that actively haunts her
Matikanefukukitaru also has a dead sister and she isn't being haunted but she does have religious psychosis
The creators get permission from the owners of all the horses before putting them in the game. The owner of Daiwa Scarlet allegedly approved her inclusion in the game on the one condition that she be given bigger boobs than her main rival, Vodka
Vodka drinks tea from a flask
Agnes Digital writes erotic friend fiction of the other umas
Streets have dedicated uma lanes
The Statue of Liberty is an umamusume
Long phone
It’s too much for coffee early on, but perfect for a proper knight out
get back here
not gonna say it. but he popped into your head didn’t he
floor the gas!!!! some sort of 50s Dandy is in our way!
Who the fuck thinks Leon is a don, I thought the whole point was that we loved seeing him on his knees and groveling
The central joke of the Ulysses Ogre meme hinges on the Ogre holding themselves to unreasonable standards by expecting to fully grasp one of the most famously difficult works of the 20th Century after only a single reading, which just doesn't work if you substitute your favourite video game, because frankly, your favourite video game is not Ulysses – but to be fair, the overwhelming majority of books are not Ulysses either. There's probably a video game somewhere out there that's as textually challenging as Ulysses, and it's probably some random-ass RPG Maker game from 2006 with an author whose name is a dick joke and a present fandom of approximately eleven people.
I am extremely online but in like the Loser Way. if you try to make me use instagram or tiktok I fumble around with it like a grandma who has never seen a phone before. if you send me a tumblr screenshot however, I will tell you that not only have I already seen the original post but that I'm mutuals with OP
context being “we need to convince one of the High Lords of Terra of a prophecy so we can derail the Fall of Cadia”
It’s working the Star Wars Credit Crawl into it that does it for me. James Workshop can you give Erika a job already
lost the battle. no longer immune to jukka sarasti.
Now In Forum Flavor:
*slams desk*
FUCKING BRING BACK FORUMS. THEY RUN ON BASIC WEB SERVERS. IT JUST NEEDS PHP/MYSQL. THEY STILL EXIST. THEY DEPLOY OUT OF THE BOX. STOP ALLOWING THE MODERN WEB TO MAKE MONOLITHS.
TECH PEOPLE ESPECIALLY. FUCKING RUN YOUR OWN SHIT.
BRING BACK FORUMS.
at the club no drinks.in.fully stone cold sober: what if thsre was a secret city
Face twists with bravery as a chill runs through the air We have to find it.
We have to find it
Something: *is happen*
Me: Wow just like in Worm
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putting these links here for no reason in particular don't mind me :^)
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no literature necessary, the description alone made me laugh helplessly