Okay, so letâs talk about Catherine. (Spoilers for 4x21)
Catâs a pretty cool chick at first. Sheâs smart, pretty, kicks ass, and will call you out on your bullshit. Too bad nobody calls her out on hers.Â
See, initially, I really liked Catherine. Then came the dreaded seasons 3&4.Â
Letâs start with Season 3.(Well. the Season 2 finale) We find Doris (fucking douchecanoe what the hell Doris). Then Doris proceeds to be a dick to her son, and ropes Catherine in to help. (Fucking Mein Gosta or whatever that dumbass name was). Not only does she not tell Steve; when he does find out, itâs all okay because YAY CATHERINE IS OKAY. What the hell. Were the writers on drugs? Whatever, all is forgiven, more Doris shit happens (Doris I swear to God stop fucking shit up). Then comes Season 4. What. The. Fuck,Â
OKay Iâm sorry, but Catherine could have fucked those taliban members up so hard. The AK she was holding is accurate for up to 380 yards. she wasnât more than 15 yards away. But nah, she let Steve, the one she supposedly loves, the one who always does anything for her, get taken away. Catherine isnât stupid man. She knows that when these fuckers catch you, they beat you and kill you. So then she waits until she gets back to the village to call Danny, the one person in Steveâs life that hasnât lied to him or stabbed him in the back, and leaves him to race against the clock to get to Steve. What the fuck Catherine.Â
The saddest thing though, is back in season one, when she wasnât a dickbag, when she maybe actually was a good person and cared about Steve? Steve probably could have settled down with her and I wouldnât have been mad at all. (even though I really am more of a McDanno girl myself.) Instead I get this bullshit of an excuse of a girlfriend.Â
Iâm not mad because she wanted to save that kid. I respect that actually. Iâm not mad she wanted to help his mom. I would have wanted to help my partnerâs parents too. Iâm mad because she does shit like not help when Steve gets taken. Or lie to his face about his mother. Iâm mad because Steve goes on crazy missions to help her, goes on naval bases for a month for valentines day, kicks ass and takes names to save her from a kidnapper in the middle of a jungle. Iâm mad because he puts himself in great emotional and physical danger to help her at the drop of a hat. Iâm mad because this is a parasitic relationship, and itâs not what Steve deserves. Iâm mad that the one person that hasnât done that to him, who hasnât stabbed him in the back, who hasnât lied to him (and I would include Kono and Chin but they arenât as close and you damn well know it) who would do and has done everything and anything for Steve and vis versa, is Danny. Am I mad Danny is happy with Amber? Hell no! I actually kind of like Amber. My point is, Iâm angry that the one healthy relationship he could have is being ignored in favor of a parasitic, abusive one. Actually, no, Iâm angry that it exists at all if theyâre just gonna throw this horse shit at us and call it good.Â
All that being said, I donât think Catherine is the devil herself or whatever. I think she does the wrong things for the right reasons, but I donât think sheâs good for Steve. To be honest, this isnât even hate. I think Cath has some good qualities as well. I just think they should stay 4098098098098327934 miles away from Steve.Â
Also Iâd like to say that Kono and Chin are also my babies and they havenât been awful to Steve either, but they also donât know Steve like Danny does. Hence the little portion of rant. I do however believe that they are my sweet cinnamon rolls and they deserve to be happy as well. Also they win awards for being amazing and not being betrayers to the Ohana.Â
(Shoutout to Grover, Max, Charlie, Adam, Gracie, Amber, and Leilani for being bosses and cinnamon rolls.) (What ever happened to Toast?) (I miss Toast.)
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