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[rafesveryrealgf]

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you can call me SJ!, 18+ blog, 20s, she/her, reblogs are appreciated!

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[rafesveryrealgf]

omg HI long time no blog!!!

Omg HII! Life has been life-ing (in the best way possible tho & I love that for me) I also feel like everyone has lowk died on tumblr (not literally but like the majority of the blogs i loved just stopped posting??) Can’t blame them it is so toxic here at times & ppl do have livesss but anyway…..you deserve a forehead kiss for checking in, you’re the sweetest loveyyy & I’m so glad to see you still posting (thank you for service it’s v appreciated)

how have you been tho?? 💕

[colmiillo]

me acting like I just didn't read the most filthy nasty hot smut fic of my life

[bee2124]

How I look after reading angst as if it was me personally in that situation

[lanadelreylover11]

I feel like a virgin when I search up “x Reader” with a new character I like

[cherienymphe]

Teenage Dirtbag XIX

JJ Maybank x Reader x Rafe Cameron

Warnings: mentions of NON-CON (+mentions of loss of virginity), DUB-CON, abusive relationship, domestic violence, mentions of violence (+ gun violence), gun kink, dacryphilia, attempted murder, blood (mentions of), semi public sex,  jealousy, manipulation, infidelity, underage drinking, drug use, canon ages, kook!reader

➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies | ➥ divider by @firefly-graphics

➥ series masterlist

summary: You’re charmingly spoiled. You’re too kind for your own good. You’re the princess of Figure 8 …and you’re way out of JJ Maybank’s league, but when he realizes that Rafe Cameron’s pride and joy is actually a bruised and battered damsel, he’s determined to save you.

Your rescue just comes with a price.

⭑

You woke up to a feeling that you felt you hadn’t woken up to in ages. In truth, being without JJ in weeks—close to months—did feel like ages to you, and you couldn’t swallow down the gasp that escaped you when he swiped his tongue between your folds again. His calloused fingers were pressed into your thighs, holding them in place while he ate you out.

It took you an embarrassing amount of time to gather your thoughts.

You realized that the ceiling you were staring up at wasn’t yours but instead Rafe’s, your boyfriend, and your heart skipped a beat as you recalled the previous night. You hissed when JJ gently nipped at the sensitive skin between your thighs, and you absentmindedly twisted your fingers into his hair. When you sighed his name, he hummed against you, the vibration making you whimper.

You wondered just how long JJ had been tasting you, but judging how wet you were, you gathered that you woke up in the height of it, stomach already twisting into knots. You couldn’t find it in yourself to be mad at the generous wake up call, but you were positive you’d feel differently in about thirty minutes.

Just when you were about to tumble over the edge, JJ pulled his lips away from you, pressing a sloppy kiss to your folds one last time before crawling up your frame. You threw your head back as he kissed his way up your body, pressing quick pecks to your chest and neck before finally covering your lips with his own. He hummed into it, and you joined him, so caught up in being with him again that you forgot all about the panic of last night and why.

You opened your legs for JJ without hesitation, moaning into the kiss when he filled you up, stretching you out and wasting no time before driving his hips into yours. You clung to him, nails pressing into his skin and gasping into his mouth as he fucked you. It was like you couldn’t get close enough, wanting to feel him against you at all times.

You didn’t want to miss him, but you did, and somewhere in the back of your mind you knew this couldn’t happen again. Maybe that’s why you allowed yourself to bask in it so much. This was never supposed to happen in the first place, but even you had to admit that the way you ended things was a little harsh. It hadn’t felt real—finished—and had certainly been abrupt. 

This though…

This felt real.

You lifted your hips to meet his every thrust, just wanting him in you again and again, and it was JJ’s turn to groan when you lifted your head to kiss his neck and jaw. This was a whole new level of wrong and disrespectful, but you told yourself that was something you’d have to come to terms with later. Rafe was out of town and so far away and JJ was…so hard to say no to.

You didn’t know if his determination to be with you was arousing or terrifying.

Possibly a little bit of both.

The bed jostled from his movements as he pushed his cock into you again and again, the wet sound reaching your ears, skin heating up from both embarrassment and other things. As he pressed kisses to your face, you glanced down, lips parted and transfixed by the sight of him disappearing inside of you. You couldn’t pull your eyes away, and watching him fuck you had that coil in your stomach tightening again.

“That’s it, princess,” JJ murmured against your skin. “Come all over me…”

You did, pressing your teeth into your lip as you tensed beneath him, nails digging into his back. JJ didn’t stop moving, fucking you through it and chasing his own climax. His skin slapped against yours, and you gasped, unable to keep quiet as you continued to tremble beneath him just as you felt him spilling into you.

You hugged him to you and he pressed his teeth into your shoulder and your hips started to slow, lazily meeting his equally slow thrusts. His heavy breathing was loud in your ear, and soon that was the only sound in the room. It was early in the morning—the sun just barely starting to peek over the horizon—and you couldn’t be more grateful for that.

As you laid beneath JJ, the full weight of what you’d done started to really hit you, and you squeezed your eyes shut. JJ finally pulled out of you and rolled over onto his back, his shoulder brushing yours, and you brought your hands up to your face. A myriad of emotions was hitting you at once but above all else, shame was hitting you the hardest.

Rafe was an abusive asshole who almost killed you on more than one occasion. He’d raped you and left you broken and bleeding too many times to count, and yet…you still felt like the lowest of the low for having sex with someone else in his bed. You abruptly sat up, and you could feel JJ’s eyes on you.

“What’s wrong?” he quietly asked, reaching out to brush his finger down your back.

The laugh you let out wasn’t humorous in the slightest.

“Are you seriously asking me that, right now?”

You turned to look at him with a frown, and when JJ seemed to read your mind, he only rolled his eyes.

“You’re never going to get me to feel bad for Rafe. Ever,” he told you. “So stop trying.”

“JJ, I…” you chuckled again, tears in your eyes as you gestured around. “Seriously? This is pretty low, even for us.”

“...and it’s still more than that asshole deserves.”

You pressed your lips together, holding the sheet to you as JJ sat up. He cradled your face between his hands, and you let him.

“I missed you–I miss you, and where we are doesn’t mean anything to me.”

“JJ–.”

“You just decided that we’re over. I got no say,” JJ bit out. “None, and you look at me like that because I don’t care about anything but being with you again?”

You pulled away from him at that, slipping out of bed and looking for anything to throw on. You could feel the blonde’s gaze on you, and you grimaced as you pulled one of Rafe’s shirts over your head. You resisted the urge to sigh, knowing that this next conversation wasn’t going to be enjoyable.

“That was the last time, JJ.”

All that met you was silence, and you chanced a look at him, quickly looking away.

“This can’t happen again, and I’m so serious,” you whispered.

JJ stared at you for a while, and when you looked at him again, you watched him pull his lip between his teeth before standing with a huff. He didn’t respond to you, only swiftly pulling on his pants as you just…stared at him.

“JJ…”

You watched a smile dance across his lips, and for some reason it brought you no comfort. He glanced at you just before picking up the t-shirt he’d had on, and you did sigh this time.

“I’m serious, JJ.”

“Sure,” he drawled, shaking out the shirt.

“I mean it,” you bit out.

He lifted his gaze to meet yours, and you two stared at one another for what felt like a long time. JJ eventually dragged his gaze over you—slowly—and you hated it, crossing your arms over your chest and shifting on your feet. When his eyes met yours again, they seemed darker now—colder—and while you understood JJ’s frustration, you knew that one of you had to do the right thing.

You were frustrated too!

JJ was genuinely one of the few good things in your life, and it wasn’t like you relished having to give him up, but it was dangerous. Dangerous and unfair. You were never leaving Rafe—he’d never let you—and what was JJ supposed to do while you played the public role of Rafe Cameron’s wife? Was he supposed to stay single and only available for you? Even worse, was he supposed to pursue his own relationships while still sneaking around with you?

The thought of dragging JJ along in this was bad enough. You couldn’t stomach the idea of involving anyone else in your mess, and you didn’t get how JJ didn’t get that.

“Sure,” he eventually repeated in that same tone as before.

You brushed past him, opening Rafe’s door and gesturing for him to get out. He wasn’t moving nearly fast enough, but you refused to look at him while he decided when he wanted to finally leave. You kept your gaze on the floor while he moved by you, and you could feel his eyes on you the whole time.

Your efforts to close the door though were thwarted.

“You might wear his ring,” he whispered, a soft and bitter chuckle escaping him. “You might even go through with this and wear his name one day…”

You finally lifted your eyes to look at him, and he shook his head at you, palm of his hand pressed to the door.

“...but you’ll always belong to me.”

His blue eyes softened some as he said that, and you sharply inhaled.

“I’m the first person you let in, I’m the one who reminded you how good things can be, and I’m the one you ran to whenever he hurt you…”

You swallowed, bringing your hand up to your neck. JJ leaned in, looking between your eyes as he did.

“...and I mean it when I say I would rather die than watch you give into this.”

JJ wasn't…completely wrong, and you blinked back tears. You didn’t relish giving him up at all, but Kie had talked sense into you, and you couldn’t undo it. When he reached for you, you flinched, but he pulled you closer anyway, and you kept your eyes open as he pressed his lips to your forehead.

“We can be over, that’s fine…” he sounded anything but fine about it. “...but I’m not giving up on you.”

His words stirred conflicting feelings in your chest, but you didn’t have time to dissect that.

The house was so quiet that the gasp down the hall sounded like glass breaking to your ears. The sun had risen a bit more now, some light bleeding through the windows of the house and Rafe’s bedroom, so Sarah’s face and figure was plain as day as she stood just near the stairs. She looked like she’d been coming from her room, heading downstairs, but something had obviously stopped her in her tracks.

Her wide eyes at the sight before her no doubt matched your own.

You could only imagine what this looked like—JJ half naked and you not too much better, standing too close together in a compromising position coming out of Rafe’s room. Your lips parted as she just stared, and your heart dropped to your stomach when the blonde girl merely turned to go down the stairs without saying a word.

You couldn’t push JJ away from you fast enough, and when you looked at his face, he looked just as sick as you felt.

“Don’t… Let me handle this,” you breathed, moving to get by him.

He wrapped a hand around your arm, stopping you, but you shook him off.

“JJ, please, just let me… Give us a minute, just give us a minute,” you rushed out, stumbling over your feet as you followed after Sarah.

Every step down the stairs felt heavier than the one before, and you could see that the kitchen light was on. You didn’t think your life could get more hectic than the past few weeks, but the past 24 hours have been attempting to take the cake. Sarah was both your friend and your fiance’s sister, and she’d just caught you in a questionable moment with herbest friend.

In all of this, you’d never considered that this day would come. It was silly, but it was the truth. You thought that you and JJ would be long over by the time this could even become a conversation—if at all. However, if you had to imagine this conversation, you would’ve never imagined that you’d be having it with the knowledge of Rafe’s true nature out in the open between you.

As you stepped into the kitchen, you had a feeling that you and Sarah would be having the very talk you still weren’t quite ready for.

You knew that she knew you were there, but she didn’t acknowledge you. She looked like she’d been in the middle of making something to eat when she just…stopped. Her hands were on the counter as well as her gaze as she just stood there. The silence between you two stretched, and the longer it did, the more nervous you became. You approached the island, standing opposite of Sarah as you rested your hands on the countertop too.

You looked her over as she continued to stare at the granite.

“Please, say something.”

Those were the first words out of your mouth after what felt like entirely too long, and you watched Sarah’s shoulders lift up and down. When she finally lifted her gaze, she looked up towards the ceiling.

“I…don’t know what to say,” she whispered.

“Anything,” you whispered back.

She finally looked at you, and you couldn’t quite tell what she was feeling or thinking.

“You say something.”

You opened and closed your mouth at that, shifting on your feet.

“I know what that looked like,” you slowly said, starting off with the most cliche excuse in the world.

Sarah took a deep breath.

“...like my abusive brother drove you into my best friend’s arms?”

Your shoulders sagged and you glanced away.

“Yeah,” you mumbled. “Like that.”

You heard Sarah heave a rough sigh, and you watched her press her elbows to the counter, hands tangled into her hair.

“This is so messed up,” she eventually whispered, moreso to herself it seemed. “Like…really messed up.”

“I know–.”

“No, you don’t,” she sadly said, straightening. “I mean you do…but you don’t…”

You and Sarah looked at each other, and she looked so…troubled.

“I should be mad at you. I should be pissed because yeah, you’re my friend, but Rafe is still my brother,” she told you. “We fight like siblings do, but he’s my brother, and you’re cheating on him.”

She threw her hands out towards you like she still couldn’t believe it, shaking her head.

“...but he’s not just my brother, is he? He’s an abusive piece of shit who hurts you and has done things to you that JJ couldn’t even bring himself to tell me about,” she tearfully continued. “...and I find out you’re sneaking around behind his back, and I can’t even bring myself to be mad about it. I can't even bring myself to blame you…”

She defeatedly sighed.

“...and it’s all his fault.”

You didn’t know what to say to any of that.

“I mean…I blame me.”

Sarah actually made a face at that, staring at you.

“Why?”

You didn’t have a good answer, and she scoffed.

“I saw what he did to you. I saw your back, remember…”

She trailed off, her words dying in the air, and the atmosphere became much thicker as you both approached the elephant in the room.

“JJ said it’s been going on for a long time.”

Sarah’s voice was quiet, and you sighed, tracing patterns into the countertop with your finger.

“Since my 19th birthday,” you honestly replied.

Her gasp made you look up, and it was a look you never wanted to see on Sarah’s face.

“What?” she whispered. “That long?”

She continued before you could get another word out.

“He’s been hurting you for two years now and…you never… I mean, none of us…none of us knew…”

“Sarah, he puts up a good front. You know that just as well as I do,” you said, trying to make her feel better.  “I mean my own parents think that he takes care of me better than they do.”

Sarah looked like she was going to be sick, and she slowly paced in front of you. So much was going on all over her face, but you could tell that she was going over so many interactions and incidents in her mind.

“JJ was right…wasn’t he?” she breathed. “He did put you in the hospital…didn’t he?”

You didn’t need to answer, and you watched Sarah wipe her face.

“All this time I thought… I didn’t realize what he was doing to you,” she choked out, a hand on her hip, and you rounded the counter.

“Sarah, you didn’t know…”

“...and that’s my point! I could’ve just kept my big mouth shut. And to think you had to sit there and listen to me tear into your relationship over and over again, but I just thought…”

She shook her head, wiping her face again.

“I’m sorry,” she cried. “I’m really sorry, I didn’t know…”

You both pulled each other into a hug at the same time, comforting each other for different reasons. Sarah cried into your shoulder, her guilt eating her up no matter how much you tried to reassure her that she didn’t do anything wrong. When she finally pulled away from you, she studied your face, her ears teary.

“Do you love him…?”

Her question caught you off guard because you weren’t talking about Rafe anymore.

You completely separated from her, biting your lip and leaning against the counter.

“I don’t know,” you honestly answered. 

She frowned at you, and you knew why. Risking your life for someone you might not even love? It was a lot of things, but smart wasn’t one of them.

“I love being with him,” you slowly said, in disbelief that you were having this conversation with Sarah. “I love how I feel when I’m with him…”

“...but…?”

Now it was your turn to cry, blinking back tears as you shook your head.

“I can’t…I can’t love him, Sarah,” you said, looking at her. “I can’t.”

The pity in her eyes made the tears spill over.

“Rafe would kill me.”

The words were almost inaudible, like saying them out loud would make them come true.

“...and I’m not just saying that. That’s not something I say lightly…”

Sarah’s face fell at that, and you watched her swallow.

“You don’t know,” you dragged the word out. “You don’t understand how…scary he gets…”

You wiped your face, and Sarah looked nauseous.

“You don’t know how bad it’s gotten,” you whispered. “The things he’s done to me, the things he’s said to me–I mean look what he’s turned me into,” you tearfully spat. “This isn’t me, Sarah.”

“I know,” she said, nodding.

“I’m not a cheater. I don’t sneak around behind his back and sleep with other guys and have full blown relationships with someone other than my boyfriend.”

Sarah nodded, reaching out to you.

“That’s not who I am…but it is. That’s who I am, now–.”

“It’s not… That’s not the same,” she reassured you. “You’re in a relationship with someone who hurts you, who terrifies you. He’s put you in the hospital, and God knows what else.”

You sniffed.

“When I saw you and JJ…I was a lot of things, but mad wasn’t one of them…”

You slowly met her gaze.

“I mean…maybe for a second? But then I remembered that Rafe beats you up,” she bitterly said. “...and how in the world could I be mad at you for finding comfort with someone who doesn’t?”

There was a brief pause.

“He doesn’t, right?”

You chuckled at that, shaking your head.

“No. He doesn’t…”

“Good,” Sarah said with a nod.

“He does scare me, sometimes though,” you continued, and she tilted her head. “He’s just so…much.”

You sniffed again as she nodded.

“That sounds like JJ,” she murmured.

There was another stretch of silence.

“I broke up with him.”

Sarah’s eyes widened, and you continued before she could ask why.

“It’s dangerous and unfair to him and… It just wasn’t smart,” you wiped your face. “Last night wasn’t supposed to happen. We’re…we’re over.”

Sarah worriedly eyed you as you nodded.

“...and I’m never leaving Rafe.”

She pressed her lips together at that, and you could tell that she wanted to cry.

“We can dream about it and talk about it as much as we want, but the truth is I’m never leaving him, and that’s so unfair to JJ.”

You looked at her again.

“Right…?”

She eventually nodded.

“Y-yeah.”

“I can never be with him in the right way, so…”

You shrugged, leaning against the counter as you stared past Sarah.

You kept telling yourself that it was unfair and dangerous, and both of those things were true, but that didn’t stop you from wishing they weren’t. You pressed your fingers to your mouth, staring at the tile behind the sink, and you took a deep shaky breath when your eyes watered again.

“...but I really want to be.”

You covered your face just as Sarah wrapped her arms around you, and you couldn’t stop crying once you started again. You’d had no one to talk to about JJ, and the irony of Sarah being the first person you could was not lost on you. JJ acted like he was the only one who didn’t want to end this, but you would never want to end the only thing that brought you happiness lately. 

One of you had to wake up eventually, and unfortunately it had to be you because while you were determined to stick to doing what was right, JJ was not. JJ who was impulsive and hot-headed and intense didn’t want to let you go and Rafe who was all of those things and more would rather kill you than ever think of losing you.

[offshoreoilrig]

If tumblr dies DM me for my full home address and we can have a barbecue

[redmyeyes]

twins <3

[cherienymphe]

Hey look at this Rarry edit to Hozier's cover of Do I Wanna Know

[cherienymphe]

Teenage Dirtbag XVI

JJ Maybank x Reader x Rafe Cameron

Warnings: NON-CON, DUB-CON, abusive relationship, domestic violence, mentions of violence (+ gun violence), gun kink, dacryphilia, attempted murder, blood, semi public sex,  jealousy, manipulation, infidelity, underage drinking, drug use, canon ages, kook!reader

➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies | ➥ divider by @firefly-graphics

➥ series masterlist

summary: You’re charmingly spoiled. You’re too kind for your own good. You’re the princess of Figure 8 …and you’re way out of JJ Maybank’s league, but when he realizes that Rafe Cameron’s pride and joy is actually a bruised and battered damsel, he’s determined to save you.

Your rescue just comes with a price.

⭑

“Am I a joke to you? Huh?”

Despite how unserious Rafe’s words were, his attitude and tone were anything but. The past few months had been…okay—as okay as they could be considering the circumstances, you supposed—and while the look on Rafe’s face was far from unfamiliar, it was also a look you hadn’t seen in a while. Most notably the night of his birthday.

The memory of his hand around your throat was fresh, his voice in your ear as he threatened to kill you if you ever tried to leave him again. The violent memory immediately had you on edge, and you absentmindedly touched your neck, worriedly eyeing Rafe just as he strode over to you.

“You think I didn’t see that bullshit at The Wreck?”

His hand was digging into your arm, and you flinched at the painful grip, eyeing him in a mixture of confusion and fear. Rafe’s blue eyes were cold as he stared you down, a sneer on his lips as he leaned in.

“All it takes is a smile and you’re batting those lashes-.”

“...what are you talking about?” you finally spoke, noticing too late that you were knee deep in another fight without even realizing it.

“I’m talking about JJ, that’s what the fuck I’m talking about,” Rafr spat at you, fingers pressing into your skin even harder.

It took you too long to realize just who he was talking about, and when you did, your lips parted in disbelief. You thought to yourself that Rafe couldn’t be serious, there was just no way, but as you looked between his eyes, you slowly—and fearfully—realized that he was indeed very serious.

The food that you'd brought back from The Wreck was sitting on the counter, and you recalled the blond teenager who’d given it to you with a friendly smile, and you recalled that you’d smiled back. Not only was it just the polite thing to do, but it was second nature to you—harmless. Yet, here Rafe was treating it like the highest form of infidelity there was.

“Rafe…be serious.”

You were so in disbelief that you didn’t quite register the danger of the words you were whispering. You were that much in shock—that thrown—that Rafe was starting something over something as simple and harmless as a smile to the guy behind the counter. Your response only made him angrier, and you swore you felt your bones straining under his hold.

“Do I seem anything but serious, right now?”

You couldn’t hold in your pained gasp as your knees buckled, your free hand reaching up to try and make him let go.

“Do you even consider me and my feelings when you pull this shit? Huh?”

His nose brushed against your cheek as you fought to stand, pulling at his hand with tears in your eyes.

“If it’s not you ‘falling’ into Topper’s lap then it’s you trying to break up with me—and on my birthday, no less! Now you just expect me to stand by and watch you make googly eyes at any guy who looks your way? You be serious,” he bit out, shoving you so hard that your back hit the nearest wall.

Your arm was throbbing, now, the blood rushing back to where Rafe’s hand had just been. Your heart was going crazy in your chest, and when you looked up, you did so just in time to see the expensive vase coming your way. The scream that escaped your lips hurt your throat, and you slid to the floor just as the sound of breaking glass reached your ears. The shards went everywhere, and you briefly noted the faint sting on your feet.

You felt paralyzed as you looked up at Rafe.

“Is this…is this another attempt to leave me? Hmm?” he wondered, fingers grazing his chest as he frowned at you. “You think if you piss me off enough, I’ll just wash my hands of you? Is that it?”

You couldn’t stop shaking, and your voice caught in your throat, your brain unable to comprehend how you wound up in this position. Your silence seemed to only make him angrier, and when he took a step towards you, you were finally able to spring to your feet, completely unsure of what he was about to do next.

“Huh? Is that what you’re trying to pull?”

You frantically shook your head.

“N-no. Rafe, no, I don’t-”

“No?” he asked, almost incredulously. 

A bitter chuckle left his lips, and Rafe shook his head, blowing out a breath as he kept his eyes on you.

“You sure could’ve fooled me.”

You looked around, chest heaving as you ran different scenarios over in your mind. You went back and forth between trying to talk him down and just making a run for it. The last time Rafe had been this angry, he’d almost choked you to death while verbally promising to do just that if you ever drove him to it. Your perusal did not go unnoticed, and Rafe was suddenly moving closer. 

“Wh-where do you think you’re going?” he mockingly asked, holding your gaze, now. “You think we’re done?”

“Rafe…” you pleaded, holding your hands out.

“You think I’m done with you? You think-.”

Rafe cut himself off, reaching for you and cursing when you slipped from his grasp. His hand caught onto your shirt, twisting it, and you stumbled back when he yanked you closer. His other hand circled around your throat, and anything that you were going to say or do was immediately cut short by the feel of metal against your lips.

The scream that caught in your throat was accompanied by the feel of tears kissing your eyes, and your hands immediately wrapped around your boyfriend’s wrist. Rafe’s own eyes were glazed as he stared at you, and a sob bubbled within your chest.

“This is the only way you’re ever going to leave me. Do you understand?”

You were barely listening to a word he said, tears spilling over as you stumbled back with every step he took. The gun had been an 18th birthday gift from Ward, something you’d seen once or twice since you and Rafe started dating. You hadn’t ever given it much thought. After all, you were in North Carolina, and it was the kind of place where kids learned to shoot from the age of twelve.

You hadn’t thought about it when he’d slapped you and not even when he’d threatened your life. Yet here you were…faced with the real possibility that Rafe would use it to kill you. Your tears wouldn’t stop flowing, and your gaze was terrified and pleading. You didn’t even think you were pleading to Rafe—you were just pleading for something. A knock at the door, a car in the yard, the ring of his phone. You were pleading for anything to happen to stop this because in this moment…you weren’t so sure that Rafe would stop on his own.

The blond tilted his head at you, the light glinting off of his blue gaze.

“Hmm?”

You gave a shaky nod, your nails digging into his wrist, and Rafe stared at you for what felt like a long time. His hand was on the gun and your hand was on him and neither one of you were moving. The moment he finally pulled his hand back, you were shoving your hand against his face. Your sudden fight took him by surprise, and you didn’t spare him another glance as you bolted for the stairs.

You flinched when your name echoed off of the walls, Rafe’s footsteps in time with yours. Your tearful gaze made it hard to see, and your shoulder knocked into the corner of the wall as you stumbled straight towards the bathroom. Rafe’s voice was loud and angry as he yelled for you, and you didn’t hesitate to slam the bathroom door shut behind you, locking it just moments before Rafe’s hand met the knob.

Your uneven breathing was all you could hear as you fumbled around in your pocket for your phone, and your lashes fluttered from the feel of the door hitting your back from every kick Rafe dealt to it. You felt so disconnected from yourself as you dialed 911, the severity of Rafe’s actions fully washing over you. You couldn’t stop crying as a voice greeted you from the other line, mentally telling yourself that you couldn’t do this anymore.

You had to get out. 

You had to.

You couldn’t live like this, you wouldn’t survive it, and as terrifying as it would be to tell the world just who Rafe Cameron really was, the thought of enduring this forever was even scarier. 

“What’ya thinking about?”

Rafe’s lips brushed against your temple as he whispered the question, and you only shook your head before turning to look up at him with a small smile. 

“Nothing…”

Topper and Kelce were playing poker in the living room, Rafe long abandoning the game to snuggle beside you instead. Today was a good day, but then again, the past few weeks had been full of good days. The disastrous night that was Midsummers was weeks ago, and the morning after—when you’d been applying makeup to your discolored cheek—you had the realization that even if some small part of you had hope that you could get out of this relationship one day, you needed to survive to actually see that happen.

Sneaking around with JJ had brought just as much harm as it did good.

Sure, you were seeing someone who actually cared about you and who didn’t absolutely terrify you. You were reminded of what it was like to be touched by someone without flinching, but on the flip side…you were reminded of what it was like to be touched by someone without flinching. 

Your relationship with JJ—if you could even call it that—also served to put into perspective just how bad things had become with Rafe. There was a time when you’d gotten so used to the abuse, so accustomed to the way he talked to you and held you and treated you. The constant reminder of how much better things could be made you act out in ways that you hadn’t in a long time. 

Your behavior as of late had given Rafe the perfect excuse to show you just how awful he could really be.

Things were good when you were good, and being good entailed acting as the perfect girlfriend that Rafe wanted. Smiling when he looked at you, standing beside him and looking pretty when he was with his friends, placating him no matter how much in the wrong he was, and eagerly opening your legs for him whenever he wanted. After all, deep down, that’s what it was really about.

Rafe just wanted someone to always be in his corner and to be ever loyal to him.

It didn’t matter that he had to force it.

All Rafe wanted was for someone to kiss him on the cheek at the end of the day and choose him. You would find it sad if said behavior wasn’t actively ruining your life. Playing such a role had long driven you into depression, but it wasn’t so bad, now when you had something else to look forward to. As much as it pained you, you slipped back into that role of the agreeable and enabling girlfriend, content with the temporary relief from it that JJ brought to you.

“You’re always thinking about something,” Rafe murmured, a humorous lilt in his voice that didn’t fool you.

You knew that if Rafe could wish for anything, it would be to see inside of your head. The fact that he could control every aspect of your life except your thoughts was something that bothered him greatly. That was one thing he’d never have access to, and it absolutely ate him up inside.

He was right though.

As you looked at him, you were reminded of his face staring back at you from inside of that cop car. It seemed like so long ago—a lifetime—but nothing had hardly changed. You’d been so sure that day that things would be different. You’d been so scared, so tired, so…defeated. You remembered how determined you were to put a stop to this and start moving on from Rafe Cameron once and for all…but then Ward had gotten into your head and scared you even more with the reality of what would happen.

You wondered if Rafe thought about that day too, if he thought about how if it weren’t for Ward, then things would be very different right now. Rafe had a lot to thank Ward for, you supposed, but you didn’t say any of that. You didn’t dare.

“Just thinking that I’m going to miss you,” you quietly told him.

Ward was going away for the weekend to deal with some business, and Rafe was going with him. The trips had become more frequent over the past year, and you knew that it was only a matter of time before Rafe was fully brought into the family business…and once that was done, it wouldn’t be long before Rafe decided it was time to tie you to him forever. Rafe wanted to have it all, you’d always known that, and once his place by Ward was official, he would start checking things off the list one by one.

Rafe hummed at your response, reaching up and gently taking your chin between his fingers.

“You have been so good lately,” he murmured, leaning in. “I think you really will miss me.”

He pressed his lips to yours, and you kissed him back, closing your eyes and eagerly moving your mouth against his like you used to before JJ. While it was still second nature to you, you had never had to give it so much thought before. Behaving like Rafe’s dream girl was just something you did, something ingrained in you, but lately you had to remind yourself that you wanted things to be easy—smooth sailing. 

It didn’t hurt to remember that Rafe noticed the way JJ acted about you these days. Rafe thinking that JJ harbored a crush on you was one thing, but if he even suspected the opposite then you were as good as dead. He thought it was funny, something to laugh about—the thought of JJ Maybank thinking he had a chance with his girlfriend—but the thought that you might be soft on the other blond wasn’t as amusing. 

You recalled the way he looked at you as he threatened you that night, driving it into your head that he didn’t want you ever defending ‘that Pogue’ again. It didn’t matter how many times you told him you were just trying to be nice and mature, he didn’t want to hear it. You hadn’t missed the glint in his eyes, and it was then that you told yourself you needed to get it together. 

JJ Maynank was messing with your head, rubbing off on you, and sometimes that was good, but there were also times where it wasn’t. He was so headstrong, so impulsive, and while you liked that about him, he was always going to be on the receiving end of Rafe’s wrath if he kept it up, and that was what you told him later that night after Rafe had dropped you off at home with a gentle kiss.

The younger blond huffed, and you watched him run his hand through his hair.

“Yeah, I know,” he reluctantly agreed. “I just don’t think you understand how angry he makes me. Downright murderous if we’re being honest.”

Your heart skipped a beat at that, hating when JJ talked like that, but you knew that it was all talk. Rafe was home and packing to leave with his father in the morning, and JJ was sitting on the edge of your bed, reaching for you and pulling you closer by your waist. Moments like this made the farce with Rafe worth it, and you placed your hand on the other man’s shoulders.

“You’re used to this, used to him,” he sadly pointed out, gaze soft as he looked up at you. “I’m not, and I don’t think I’ll ever be.”

Your shoulders sagged at that, silently agreeing with him. It did seem a little unfair to expect JJ to fall in line so quickly with something that had taken you years to perfect. The two of you had only been seeing each other for some months.

“You’re right…but do you get how it makes me feel to see him just tear into you because you can’t keep your mouth shut?”

JJ’s lips quirked up at that, and you lightly hit his shoulder.

“It’s not funny,” you told him, letting out a light chuckle anyway. “Unlike you, I’m good at this. He’ll never suspect me, but he has no problem with punching you in the face for just looking at me too long, and I know how much you love fighting Rafe, but it gives me a mini heart attack every time.”

The blond didn’t respond right away at that, and he eventually sighed before leaning in to press his lips to your stomach. When he tilted his head back, he looked up at you from beneath his lashes.

“For the sake of your heart…I’ll be better. I promise.”

The tension in your body eased a bit, but it didn't last long as you watched JJ push the end of your shirt up your torso.

“Now enough about Rafe,” he whispered into your skin. “I have you all to myself this weekend.”

You shuddered at the feel of JJ’s tongue against your stomach, and his fingers wasted no time in searching for the waist of your skirt.

With your parents just down the hall, you were hyper aware of every noise you made under JJ’s careful ministrations. Lying underneath him felt more like a real relationship than any moment you’d ever had with Rafe. JJ was gentle with every touch he gave to you, and you couldn’t stop your stomach from flipping every time he let himself lose control, frantically shaking your head whenever he asked if he was hurting you.

It was a good kind of hurt.

That was something you thought you’d never say. The blond was careful in leaving you blemish free for obvious reasons, but on the off chance that you woke up with a slight bruise or a mark on your chest, it didn’t feel like it did when you looked at Rafe’s marks in the mirror. You’d stare at them with the strangest desire for more, wanting JJ to keep marking you.

One of his hands massaged your breast while the other was being stroked by his tongue, shaky moans escaping your lips in your dark room. You’d grown addicted to the way his cock stretched you out, eagerly opening your legs for him every time he crawled between them. Sex with JJ was fun and good, and it never not ended with you begging him to come inside of you.

You absentmindedly talked with Sarah while you waited for your food. She was telling you about some trip they planned on going with the Twinkie, but you had to be honest with yourself in admitting that you were hardly listening. JJ and Pope were on the other side of the restaurant, and the blond kept catching your eye no matter how much you tried to pretend like you couldn’t feel the heat of his gaze.

It was only a few hours ago that he’d been climbing out of your bedroom with promises to see you tonight. Heat settled in the pit of your stomach at the memory of his fingers on you and in you, and you reminded yourself to savor this because Rafe would be returning in 24 hours and who knew how long it would be before you saw JJ again in the manner you preferred.

“...and believe it or not, JJ is claiming he can’t make it that weekend. What could he possibly have to do,” Sarah scoffed, and you finally looked at her again.

You suspected why in your head, but naturally you kept it to yourself.

“Hey, do you wanna come over tonight? With Rafe gone with our dad, I can actually invite my friends over without apologizing on behalf of him every thirty minutes.”

Her proposal came the same time Kiara brought your food out, and you struggled to turn her down.

“I wish I could, but I can’t,” you sadly told her, hating the way her face fell. “I have some things to take care of at my house.”

The blonde eyed you, and you took your food with a smile thrown Kie’s way.

“Is that for real? Or is this about Rafe? I swear this time it’ll just be us girls, and they miss hanging out with you. Right?”

She looked to the brunette behind the counter, and when you glanced at her too, Kie was sending you a small smile.

“Yeah, you should come.”

Her tone and gaze was welcome enough, but there was something about the way Kie looked at you that felt off. You sighed, hating to turn them down.

“I really have something to do,” you assured them. “I have no doubt that Rafe will be going out of town with Ward again, so next time. I promise.”

You gave Sarah a hug, squeezing her extra tight as an apology, and you waved Kie goodbye. You left without another glance at JJ no matter how much you wanted to, and you were almost to your car when you heard your name being called. The sound of Kie’s voice was surprising, but you turned to face her nonetheless. 

Like inside, you couldn't place the expression on her face.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Her tone was light, and nothing on her face contradicted that, but something about her question sparked worry in you. You blinked, a bit thrown—because what could Kiara possibly want to talk to you about—but you gave her a nod.

“Yeah, sure,” you said with a shrug.

She almost looked like she hadn’t expected you to say yes, and you understood it. You guys weren’t exactly close. Friendly, but not quite friends. You watched her tuck a few strands of hair behind her ear, lips parting as she seemed to be struggling with how to start.

“I…don’t even know if I should be doing this,” she breathed, and at that, you frowned.

She swiped her tongue between her lips.

“...but JJ is my best friend and…”

At that, your heart sank, doubly unsure and worried for what she was about to say. Kie swallowed, gaze soft as her eyes met yours.

“I don’t know what exactly is going on between you two…” you felt your blood run cold. “...and I don’t know exactly how long it’s been going on…but it’s not fair to him.”

At first, you thought the him in question was Rafe, but the longer you stared at each other, understanding filled you. Your chest felt tight as you looked away, softly exhaling.

“Look, there’s no need to freak out because I’m 100% positive I’m the only one who knows,” she assured you. “...and that’s only because I’m the only one JJ talks to about you.”

You knew that. She’d told you at Midsummers, after all.

“I see the look in his eyes when he talks about you,” she whispered. “I hear what he sounds like when he talks about you—I see the way he looks at you, and it’s only because of that that I see the way you look at him.”

You finally met her gaze again.

“...but you’re never going to leave Rafe.”

Her words felt like a punch to the gut…because they were true. Truer than she even knew.

“...and JJ’s so…” her words trailed off with a light scoff. “You took him by surprise. You’re sweet and polite and the complete opposite of Rafe, and I know what he’s thinking.”

Kie shrugged. 

“...because I’ve thought it myself. JJ would be so much better for you. He’d be really good for you…but you’re never going to leave him. Are you?” she asked after some time.

When you blinked, you were surprised to feel a few tears skip down your cheeks, and you avoided her gaze.

“Kie it’s…it’s complicated,” you finally choked out, wrapping your arm around yourself.

“I don’t doubt that,” she laughed. “Trust, I believe that a relationship with Rafe Cameron is every bit as complicated as you say it is, but that doesn’t make this any more fair for JJ.”

An uncharacteristic stab of anger tore through you, and you stared her down, jaw clenching.

“Why aren’t you having this conversation with JJ? Why me?”

She looked at you like it was supposed to be obvious, a frown between her brows.

“...because he’s never going to leave you.”

You sharply inhaled at that.

“Despite how unfair this is to him and despite the fact that he’s forever going to be some dirty little secret and despite the fact that Rafe would probably run him down if he found out, JJ’s not leaving you. We both know that,” she sadly told you.

You didn’t have anything to say to that, and you struggled to swallow. Everything that Kie was saying was right…and you absolutely hated it. Sneaking around with JJ was fun and dreaming of a future with him was fun, but realistically? The small sliver of hope that you had about getting out of this relationship with Rafe was dwindling by the minute. Suppose you did get out unscathed…it wouldn’t remain that way. 

The moment you even thought of stepping out with JJ would be the end of both you and him, and it suddenly hit you that you couldn’t even fathom making JJ go through that. The only way you’d ever be truly free of Rafe was if he were behind bars, and with daddy’s money, the only chance of that happening was if he ever killed someone.

…and that someone was likely to be you.

“Look, I’m not saying all of this to be a bitch, and you probably think I am a bitch, right now, but I like you, Y/N. I really do, and I like you for JJ…but this isn’t fair to him, and you know it.”

You turned away from her with a heaving chest, and more tears spilled over just as a familiar voice reached you both. JJ said something to her that you didn’t catch, too busy staring off into the distance as the gravity of her words hit you. When JJ called your name, you didn’t answer.

You only noticed that Kie was making her way back inside when he forced you to look at him. With one look at your face, his entire expression dropped.

“Hey,” JJ softly said to you. “What’s wrong? Is it Rafe?”

You could only shake your head.

When he reached for your face, you backed away from him, your back grazing your car. Your eyes kept roaming around, your throat and chest feeling so tight. When JJ reached for the keys in your hand, you tightened your hold.

“Let me drive you back home. I’m coming over anyway-.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” you mumbled.

There was a brief pause.

“You can’t drive like this-.”

“No, I don’t think…I don’t think you should come over,” you forced out.

It was some time before you looked at JJ again, and when you did, he was only staring at you with a frown. His lips opened and closed, seemingly struggling to put his thoughts into words before his face went blank altogether. He stared at you for a few seconds before his gaze found The Wreck and back. When he spoke again, his voice was hard, tone icy.

“What did Kie say to you?”

You shook your head, silently crying.

“Nothing that wasn’t true.”

JJ grabbed your arms, and you pushed him away.

“Y/N-.”

“I have to go,” you choked out, hurrying to the driver’s side with JJ on your heels.

You ignored him every time he said your name, and when you slid into your car, he prevented you from closing the door.

“I’m going to call you. Alright? I know Kie probably said some things to you that you think you need to take seriously, but she doesn’t know the whole story, you have to remember that,” he firmly told you, his hand on your cheek.

JJ made you look at him, his thumb brushing over your lip.

“She doesn’t know the truth, she doesn’t understand. Do not listen to her. Okay…?”

JJ was pleading with you, his gaze crazed and desperate, and despite the nod you gave him, you knew in your heart that you already were.

[chateaubunni-deactivated2025091]

[barbiesmind]

[oldbutchdanielmolloy]

hey guys if you’re planning on making a vaguepost on the dashboard can you message me with the details and some of the lore behind the vague post you’re making. a vaguepost for the dash and a detailedpost for me. because i like to know what’s going on. if you do this i will automatically take your side because you’ve done the right thing by letting me know what’s up. thanks in advance ❤️

[crookedteethed]

18+ -mdni

ᥫ᭡. Soft!Rafe Headcanons (but oh, it turns dark)

At first, he doesn’t seem like the other guys on Kildare. Everyone knows Rafe Cameron as the kook prince: arrogant, troublemaker, sometimes violent. But when he first meets you, there’s this quiet charm to him. He stumbles over his words, blushes when you catch him staring too long, and fumbles with his sleeves nervously. It’s almost sweet—almost like he’s a different Rafe entirely.

Soft!Rafe who insists on driving you everywhere. He’d show up outside your house at random times with this stupidly proud smile, like he’s already won just by getting to see you. He always opens the car door for you, fingers grazing the small of your back a little too long. And he drives slow—too slow—just to keep you in his car for longer.

He buys you little things constantly. A bouquet of flowers just because. Your favorite iced coffee. A gold chain with a tiny charm that you offhandedly mentioned once. “It made me think of you,” he’d mumble, soft voice barely audible. But he always watches intently as you react, cataloging every smile or laugh.

Soft!Rafe whose obsession starts with him memorizing every detail about you. The exact shade of your nail polish. The way you like your coffee. The perfume you wear. He swears it lingers in his car after he’s dropped you off, and he secretly takes the long way home just to breathe it in.

Late-night texts turn unsettlingly consistent. At first, it’s cute—“you up?” or “i can’t sleep. thinking of you :)” But soon, it turns into long, rambling messages about how he misses you even though he just saw you. “Do you think of me the way I think of you? I can’t get you out of my head, it’s killing me.”

Soft!Rafe who worships your body. When things inevitably escalate, he’s almost reverent. Every kiss is lingering, every touch is careful—like he’s afraid you’ll slip through his fingers. “You’re perfect,” he whispers against your skin, breathless. He’ll spend hours between your legs, murmuring praises like it’s his purpose to make you fall apart under him.

Soft!Rafe whose sweetness starts to seem... off. He tells you how beautiful you are a little too intensely. There’s a quiet desperation in his voice sometimes, like he’s trying to convince you to stay. “No one could ever love you like I do.” And when you pull away? His sweet smile falters just a little too long.

He keeps things that remind him of you. The sweater you let him borrow once—it’s folded neatly under his pillow. A lipstick you accidentally left in his car sits on his desk like a trophy. He’s even saved your voicemail, replaying it late at night when he’s alone in his room.

Soft!Rafe who loses it the first time you mention another guy. At first, he plays it cool—laughs it off with that forced smile of his. But his hand tightens around the steering wheel, knuckles turning white. Later that night, you get a slew of texts: “He doesn’t deserve you. He doesn’t even know you like I do.”

He starts showing up uninvited. Outside your job when you get off. At parties you didn’t even tell him about.“Just wanted to make sure you were okay,” he says softly, brushing a strand of hair from your face. But his eyes are dark—there’s something possessive behind them that you can’t ignore anymore.

Soft!Rafe who makes love to you like you’re his religion. His touches turn frantic, kisses bruising as he whispers, “Mine. You’re mine, aren’t you?” over and over again. There’s something in the way he holds you—almost desperate—like if he lets go, you’ll disappear.

The shift is slow but terrifying. One day, you notice how eerily quiet he gets when you don’t give him all your attention. His soft demeanor doesn’t falter, but there’s a shadow of something unhinged in his eyes when he tilts his head and asks, “Who were you with earlier?”

Soft!Rafe who convinces you he’s harmless. Even when you start to get uneasy, he pulls you right back in with his charm. “You’re the only good thing in my life,” he whispers, voice trembling as he cups your face. And suddenly, you feel guilty for doubting him. After all, he’s sweet Rafe—he wouldn’t hurt you... right?

a/n-emptying out my drafts, yuh.

as always, comments, likes, and reblogs all keep me motivated. 🫶🏾

[rafesveryrealgf]

OBX4 SPOILER!! (kinda not really)

i love JJ but why is he lowk annoying me this season (im only on the first ep) but still 😭 i understand the whole bad boy/rebel thing he’s going for but it’s beginning to be a little too much when he’s sabotaging his own friend’s/gf’s opportunity to a good life 😫

[rafesveryrealgf]

that’s so funny please 😭😭 i’d still be so sad if that did happen but for a quick moment it was sounding like a good idea to kill his ass off

[rafesveryrealgf]

OBX4 SPOILER!! (kinda not really)

i love JJ but why is he lowk annoying me this season (im only on the first ep) but still 😭 i understand the whole bad boy/rebel thing he’s going for but it’s beginning to be a little too much when he’s sabotaging his own friend’s/gf’s opportunity to a good life 😫

[notnumb]

Are you alright?