* DARK / KNIGHT

[ragefulheart]

spectrcseven​:

this isn’t really ideal, truth be told. jacen isn’t meant to be taking contracts, he’d made a point not to spend too much time in his dume get-up on purpose, and yet somehow he was still found out. and to be sent to collect some intel from naboo of all places? what’s he going to find? it’s a waste of time - time he could be spending on finding a way to save his mother. and to top it all off his helmet’s giving him grief. shaking his head, jacen pulls it off so he can fiddle with it as he walks, trying to get it to work until -

oh, kriff. what the hell is ben doing here? jacen tosses his helmet aside without even thinking about it before ben can see it, vaguely registering where it lands so he can find it later. “working. gotta get credits somehow, you know?” he answers casually, putting an easy smile on his face. much easier than he feels, that’s for sure. ben is the last person he expected to see on naboo. pausing a couple of feet away from him, jacen takes in the other’s appearance, tilting his head to the side a little. it’s not a uniform as such but it’s - not exactly casual wear. “ben - what are you wearing?”

    he’s not entirely sure what to think about this situation in its entirety. the goal had been to avoid any resistance individuals in order to have things go over smoothly. kylo knew how obnoxious and persistent they could be whenever they realized something was going wrong, so this entire ordeal was certainly going to make things a bit more difficult for him. the response he’s given sounds... believable, though he can’t be certain if jacen isn’t telling the full truth. likely some sort of secret mission for the resistance or something of the sort he can’t be told. even if the other thinks of him as ben solo. 

    “right, of course. that doesn’t exactly change no matter what timeline we find ourselves to be in.” at the question, kylo glances down at what he’s wearing and internally cringes. right, yes. the all black getup and cape that he’d become all but attached to. not entirely subtle, but at least most people didn’t recognize the outfit he wore but rather the helmet. at least the saber attached to his hip couldn’t be fully seen, and even then it wouldn’t be a dead giveaway. crossguards might not be overly common but they weren’t entirely rare either. “ah -- you know, figured if i was in naboo i’d try to stand out a bit. given who my grandmother is i thought it fitting being here and all.” 

[ragefulheart]

ruthlessren​:

@ragefulheart​   //   kylo ren.

that damn jedi had gotten inside of her head. depa. the power and grace that she possessed, the fact that she knew the darkness as well as she knew the light. aiya was not sure what about her had managed to get so deep inside of her head and it was unsettling. there were exceptionally few things that actually got beneath their skin. this change in time had not particularly rattled her, but this had. compiled with their recent run-in with a face that they both knew, they did not feel like theirself.

“have you seen him yet?” aiya’s arms folded in front of their ribcage, pacing. “skywalker?”

     as much as kylo tried to keep his composure at the mention of him, there was always a bit of a slip up. a small flinch, a twitch of his hands wanting to curl into fists as the memories threatened to plague his mind. no, kylo didn’t much like to think about luke skywalker or the events that had led him up to joining snoke and the dark side. even now that betrayal from a man who had seen the good in darth vader tore deep. he was silent, gaze carefully watching as aiya paced around the room. clearly agitated from what he could gather from the sight and through the force. 

    “no. i have no desire to see that man in this time period or at any time. he’s dead.” in their time, perhaps, but kylo knew that wasn’t the case where they were now. as much as he didn’t want to talk about it. “why the sudden curiosity??” 

[ragefulheart]

stcrpilot​:

“that’s not what i said.” poe points out, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. he can’t afford to take his eyes off the man, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying to deal with him. he’s hardly the little ben solo poe remembers - hardly that overeager kid who chased them around and wanted so badly to be just like them. he’s.. changed. he’s a whole other person now, and poe’s not sure the ben he remembers is still in there.

“i said you don’t get used to it. but it does get better. everything gets better, you just have to keep working at it. have to keep hope that you’re going to get through it.” poe’s seen it himself. he’s seen how much of a difference it makes, to keep that spark of hope alive, to not let anything snuff it out no matter how hopeless it all seems. “leia taught me that. i bet she taught you at some point, too, you’ve just forgotten.” poe hesitates for a moment, weighing up how much to reveal here. the kylo in front of him.. isn’t the same person rey had described, after the final order fell. he must not know yet. kriff, this time travel stuff is a pain in the neck to deal with. “yeah yeah, you first order types keep saying that. and we’re still fighting, and we’re not gonna give up. that outta tell you something, ben. should make you realise you’re on the wrong side.”

    he couldn’t really bring himself to care what poe had actually meant or said on the subject. they would never see eye to eye no matter what happened or what was said between the two of them. perhaps, once upon a time, they would have been on the same side fighting for the same cause. in another life kylo could have been someone different, someone that hadn’t been so thoroughly corrupted by someone that had never remotely cared about him. being so used didn’t sit well within the force user. 

    “hope. right, that little thing you and your little rebellion like to cling to even when everything is utterly hopeless.” of course kylo knew what all of that was like. he’d been raised by leia organa and han solo of all people, he knew what it was like for hope to be kept alive and clung onto. but hope had never done anything for him no matter how much he had tried. for so long kylo had hoped and hoped the voice in his head would stop, that everyone would stop looking at him in fear and judgement because of how different he was. not that any of it mattered nowadays. his choice had been made a long time ago. “my mother helped to destroy that hope, just like my dead father did. they never did anything to help me. not really. you wouldn’t understand, though. no one ever would.” snoke’s words, not his. as much as kylo tried to push those words and thoughts out of his mind they stayed firmly planted. “right, i’m on the wrong side. says the one who was abandoned by everyone else in the galaxy.”

[ragefulheart]

xfrom-nowherex​:

closed starter // kylo ren //@ragefulheart 

waking up years earlier than she had even been born had been alarming. she was hardly used to how the force felt in her own time but now it was… overwhelming. everything was just off somehow, a way she couldn’t even hope to explain. she felt lost and– 

                                                                       and worried that she was alone.

but there was a flicker, vague but… familiar. for months the young force user had pushed his presence away, the distraction that just reminded her of her failure. but now… the urge to reach out was stronger than ever. perhaps…

a breath and a reach forward. for something familiar… “ben–” her voice cut out, the hesitation, fear from before was still there. but she was desperate for answers. she needed him now. 

    kylo wasn’t quite sure what to think whenever he felt a familiar sensation coming over him that he hadn’t felt in so long. not since that day on crait when rey had, literally, slammed the door between the two of them on their connection. whatever.... this connection really was between the two of them. his former master hadn’t provided too many answers aside from the manipulation behind it all that had just enraged the force user to no end. 

    still, he couldn’t help his curiosity once he had felt it connect once more, pausing before he was shifting around to face her.  eyes narrowed, gaze surveying rey in silence. kylo wasn’t sure how to feel in the moment -- angry, annoyed, perhaps even relieved. he couldn’t be certain what felt right. “oh, so now you decide to reconnect the bond. i wonder why that is. scared, lonely, uncertain. is that it??”

[ragefulheart]

    he tried not think too much on the fact concerning what planet he found himself on and the family history that was to be held there. much easier for the leader of the knights of ren to just push all of those thoughts aside and focus on the task at hand. that was important -- the past was not. that needed to be freed, released out into the force and forgotten. surveying the scenery around him, kylo paused for a brief second as he reached up to pull the mask free, the mechanisms within freeing as he lifted it up and off. the movement had only been done, as he’d thought himself to be alone, but not too long after he could sense a familiar presence coming closer. 

   turning his head in the direction, his suspicions were confirmed as he saw said person coming closer. jacen. kriff. without much thought, kylo quickly tossed the helmet aside where it would be hidden away, making a mental note to return for it at a later time. it wouldn’t do if jacen caught him with the helmet that would give his identity away. not when the other still thought he was ben. “jacen. what are you doing on naboo??” // @spectrcseven

[ragefulheart]

spectrcseven​:

aside from his mother, jacen hasn’t crossed paths with that many people he recognises. they must be around but - the galaxy is a huge place, and jacen’s pretty good at avoiding people when he wants to. but this is… different. this isn’t just someone from his own time, this is someone jacen hasn’t seen since he left after his mother’s death. it’s such a blast from the past, one that jacen definitely didn’t expect. it’s hard to even be sure it is ben, given he was so young when jacen disappeared.

but when the man says his name, jacen breathes a sigh of relief. it is him. “ben solo. kriff, i never expected to see you here.” he says with a smile, letting his hand fall from ben’s shoulder. it’s… a nice surprise, to see him here. he still remembers ben as a kid, following him and poe around everywhere, doing his best to keep up despite being younger than them both. which he always managed to, somehow. “yeah.. yeah, it really has. you were still a gangly little kid when i last saw you, actually.” he says with a laugh. “uh - how have you been? you know, weird time-travelling situation aside.”

  hearing that all too unfamiliar name always left him feeling more than a little uneasy. he wasn’t a fan of it any longer, not when it no longer held the meaning that it once did. ben solo had died years ago, only for kylo ren to be born and take his place. but it wasn’t something that he could freely share in the moment, not when he knew jacen and the parentage that followed him. even if the other had disappeared all those years ago, kylo couldn’t be certain of the loyalties that jacen possessed. best to play along with this instead, easier to move in the shadows around those who didn’t know his true identity. 

   “i’m not sure any of us expected to see one another here,” he offered up. which was the truth, considering the odd circumstances that they found themselves in. none of this made any sense, and it was beyond frustrating not to have answers as to why any of this was happening. even so, kylo isn’t quite sure how to act around jacen. he’s no longer that little kid anymore, intent on getting the older boys to pay attention to him, always trying to keep up. so much had changed between then and now. “yes, well -- it’s been a while since i’ve seen you as well. wasn’t really sure what happened when you... vanished. i suppose as well as can be expected, just like everyone else. how have you been holding up??”

[albusseveruspxtter]

[ragefulheart]

tag dump

[ragefulheart]

spectrcseven​:

closed starter for @ragefulheart !

it takes a few seconds for jacen to piece it together when he sees the familiar face. they haven’t seen each other in so long, and ben was still so young when jacen had left. at first glance, jacen’s not even sure he’s the same person - he’s grown so much, compared to that kid who trailed after jacen wherever he went. but.. there’s a feeling. a sense of something old and familiar.

pushing past the other people in the marketplace, jacen approaches him carefully, wondering if it’s really him or if jacen’s mind is just playing tricks on him, desperate to see someone familiar in a time he remembers so differently. “hey - sorry, hi -” he starts, reaching to grab the man’s shoulder. “look, i might be way off the mark here but.. you look a lot like someone i used to know when we were kids.” if it’s ben - and close up, jacen’s pretty sure it is - he’s sure to recognise jacen. the combination of features, the green tinge around his eyes and temples, his ears, his hair - it’s all pretty unique.

    being back in this time period, it was expected that he wouldn’t be recognized by the people that had known him before he had become kylo ren. after all, he had yet to even be born, so it wasn’t like he had even become a thought at this point. that made it easier to face those people, easier to just brush it off and continue forth like it was nothing. focusing on the goals of the empire, and ultimately the first order, were his primary concerns. so whenever he caught sight of a familiar figure in the distance, one he hadn’t seen since before he went off to the jedi academy, kylo almost fled before anything could come of it.

    too slow, it seemed. jacen had already begun to approach him, and it takes kylo a moment to fully settle on the idea that this was actually the person he knew it was. the last time he had seen the other, jacen had completely vanished with no trace. no reasoning, no note. nothing. it’s quite obvious that this is the person from his memories considering the very distinct appearance. one that he had known well growing up as ben solo. “--jacen,” he finally responded, inwardly grimacing at the way his voice sounded awkward even saying the name. “it’s been a while.” 

[ragefulheart]

corruptiive​:

uitwaaien (dutch, v.) - to take a break to clear one’s head & yakamoz (turkish, n.) - the reflection of the moon as it shines upon the water

@ragefulheart​

The view from his perch was perfect. The lake seemed to stretch on forever, the calm surface like a sheet of glass that caught the light of the moon perfectly. A brief wave of sentimentality caught Alak off guard, but they were quick to shove it aside. “Never had views like this on Nar Shaddaa.” They spoke up, having yet to look at their leader, although they no doubt knew Kylo was there. His presence in the Force was rather hard to miss. 

“Hope you don’t mind me taking a little…break.” They hummed, finally glancing at Kylo. They had spent the majority of the week out on a mission, dispatching of small batches of Rebellion soldiers before they could get a foothold. And as soon as they got back it was nothing but debriefs and dealing with the Empire, to say that the Knight was a little worn out would be an understatement. “No offense,” Their brows raised, corner of their mouth twitching up into a small smirk. “But you look like you could use one yourself.”

      truthfully, after the recent week that he’d had the sentiment of taking a break was one that he could absolutely relate to. it was often easy to push himself to the very edge of breaking, ignoring the pain and exhaustion that spread through him just as he had been taught to do so by his former master. those were just feelings that connected him closer to the dark side, easier to grasp onto whenever he was utterly worn down. for a brief moment, kylo is silent even as alak speaks, gaze wandering over the lake and taking in the sight before him. moments like these were few and far between back in their time, and it felt like even less being here. 

    “no, i suppose it’s well deserved,” he muttered finally. normally kylo would take to meditation as a method to relax and calm down as best as he was capable, though the lake was certainly doing a wonderous job of that now. glancing down to meet their gaze, he scoffs a little, but there is no offense taking at the words. it had been a few days since he had gotten any proper sleep, so kylo was fully aware he likely looked worse for wear. “is that your way of telling me i look like batha fodder??” the words are light, more of a joke than anything else as kylo settled down bside alak, gaze shifting back to the lake. “the sight is nice.”

[ragefulheart]

spacebcns​:

she laughed, casual and light, though her eyes were still focused, searching for something familiar in the man. leia didn’t recall seeing him anywhere before, but her insticts were rarely wrong. “ oh, there’s a war going on out there. brooding is the way some people deal with it, i suppose. ” not leia. being left alone with her thoughts was the last thing she wanted or needed. the princess was always doing something, thinking of a new attack plan or worrying about her friends. it was easier to keep herself busy.

“ careful not to get trapped in there. ” it was a joke, but leia meant it. minds were dangerous places. and even though she was not really the tipe to go around giving strangers personal advice, there was still that odd sense of kinship with that man. maybe he was also someone who had been fighting themselves during this war.

    right. the war that was raging on in this time, one that kylo had grown up hearing stories about. all the heroics of the rebellion, of his parents and uncle. being denied the truth of who his grandfather was until suddenly it was out in the galaxy. that was a memory that he didn’t enjoy thinking about because it had shifted something inside of him that had never fully healed. snoke had been able to dig his claws so much further due to it, manipulate him until he no longer knew whether he could trust even his own family. “right. people cope in their own ways, i guess. you don’t appear to be the type to brood and stand around, though. more like a take action sort of person.”

    of course he knew that. this was his mother, after all. kylo liked to think even during the years they had been apart after the jedi school had been destroyed that he still knew her. at the joke, he managed a faint smile. even if leia didn’t know who he was, it felt oddly nice to speak to his mother after so long. something that he had dearly missed when he’d made the choices he had. “i’ll try not to. no promises, though. uh -- i’m kylo, by the way.” 

[ragefulheart]

stcrpilot​:

ask meme starter for @ragefulheart - "in the end, you’ve lost something as well.“

kylo ren is a whole other person now, as far as poe’s concerned. it’s - weird, looking at him and not seeing that kid who used to hang around on his heels all the time. to look at this unstable, unhinged guy and not think of little ben solo, doing his best to play with the older kids, refusing to take no for an answer.

he’s not sure if he prefers knowing the truth. if it’s better to know what ben’s become.

“yeah, well. i’ve lost a lot over the years.” poe says with a shrug of his left shoulder, right hand still resting on his blaster. it’s useless against someone like him, but if ben wants to try and kill him he’s not going down without a fight. “i’d say you get used to it but that’s bull people say to make you feel better. besides - i haven’t lost as much as you have, ben.”

    noting the hand at the blaster is the first thing that really catches his attention. predictable from the pilot, though ultimately a useless action in the end. both of them knew well enough that the blaster bolt could easily be stopped with the force, never once touching him. still, the thought that poe was even considering doing something like that was almost laughable in reality.

    “that is a typical thing people will say in order to make others feel better. nothing ever gets better -- not really.” not ever. as much as kylo had tried in his youth for things to get better, for the voice in his head to vanish -- nothing ever really changed. no one truly understood him or the conflicts he had faced growing up. “you and i both know that name no longer has any meaning to me. besides, i may have lost some things but the gains have been much more fruitful. you’re the one fighting a losing battle.”

[ragefulheart]

you cannot hide from what you once were.

an unfortunate truth, and one that kylo unfortunately knew better than he wished to admit. as much as he tried to bury the truth of who he actually was, it would always show up in some way. he’d be reminded of it by people from his past, those who didn’t know who he had truly become. none of that was anything he wanted to focus on. much easier just to ignore it, bury it all down inside. ben solo had died that night. he was gone, and kylo ren had been born. that was the person he was no matter what others wished to think. 

even if he was in this time now, faced with things he’d rather not, he had to hold onto that. “why would you ever want to hold onto the past like that?? it’s much more freeing once you realize it’s best to let it all go. the past is meaningless, and it no longer has a hold on me. i won’t allow it to.”

[ragefulheart]

"you think i'm some kind of monster, don't you?" - luke

that was something he hadn’t expected to be asked by luke, even with the situation. of course kylo was fully aware that the other man didn’t remember anything that had transpired between the two of them. at least, not yet. those events in history had yet to play out for the other even if they were fully ingrained within his mind. that was something he could never forget no matter how much time passed between those actions and the person that he had become after it all. the person that had been so influenced by snoke over the years, but that time had come and passed now. kylo was the one in control, he was the one who would have influence over his own actions.

“yes,” comes the response. honest, because it is what kylo truly thinks of his uncle. had been since that night. “you may not fully understand why just yet, but the day will come once you finally do. you’ll see yourself as a monster too, i’m sure. everyone may think you’re such a good man but i know the truth of it all.”

[ragefulheart]

i alone must accept responsibility for my fate.

     in the end, he knew the words to be turned out to be true even if he may not wish to fully accept the knowledge. they all chose their fates one way or another, all made decisions that eventually led them to become who they were truly meant to be. some days it was difficult to fully accept when he knew that voice in his head had drawn him to the dark, influenced him so long over the many years of his life. despite that, kylo knew he had been the one to make the final decision. he’d chosen the dark, chosen to follow the path he was on now. perhaps it wasn’t the fate that people would have wished for him when he had been younger, but it was the one he followed now. besides, he was the one in control now. he was supreme leader. 

     “perhaps at the end of the day we all have to accept that responsibility. but i like to believe we ultimately become who and what we were meant to be. i’m content with my own fate. are you not??”

[ragefulheart]

spacebcns​:

leia felt slightly on edge since the endor explosion. there were too many things going through her head, political alliances and ghosts from the past wrestling for her attention. if you looked closely enough, her dark circles and strained smile would be noticeable, but they were cleverly hidden behind pristine hair and a white jacket. if there was one thing the princess was good at, it was making people see what she wanted. the coruscant sun was warm and pleasant, and she basked in the light. not having to hide in the shadows felt almost odd. 

perhaps that’s why her attention was drawn into the darker parts of the street. a man was standing there, and leia felt herself walking toward the figure almost instinctively. like a string was pulling her along, a gut feeling she had learned not to ignore. “ waiting for someone or brooding in solitude? ” leia asked as soon as she was close enough to be heard, an usual smirk accompanying the dry words. ( @ragefulheart​ )

      being in this time period for whatever reason, kylo was able to recognize that the likelihood of running into certain people was high. though they wouldn’t know exactly who he was at this point or the path that had been followed, he couldn’t deny that the idea of coming face to face with either one of his parents settled well within the pit of his stomach. his father, whose life he had taken in an attempt to settle the light inside of him. his mother, who he had abandoned all those years ago and turned his back on. as much as he tried to cling to that darkness inside of him, even kylo knew he was not capable of taking her life no matter what may have happened.

     lost in his thoughts, it was easy to get sidetracked. defenses lower than they should be, he didn’t catch on to the familiar presence until it was too late to run away. and so kylo was left staring at his mother in silence for a few moments, trying to process everything that was going through his mind. of course he knew she had no idea who he was... but despite that knowledge everything inside of him ached. “--i imagine you see a lot of brooding??” it slips out before he can think any better of it. “no, i’m just lost in my thoughts, nothing more. it tends to happen.”

[ragefulheart]

"why don't you talk?" - raffi

   aggravated was the only possible word that could even begin to describe what he had been feeling ever since he found himself where he currently was. confused was another, though kylo was less likely to be so open about that one. no, it was far easier to show off that annoyance than anything else that was brewing within him like that far too familiar raging storm. he was trying to calm himself, focus through the force and find some sort of answer to all of this. meditation was normally the key for doing so, though kylo could feel his annoyance growing at the interruption. eyes slowly opening, he glances in the direction of the one who had spoken, eyes narrowing. “i was busy doing something that does not require talking,” he muttered. “what exactly do you want since you’ve interrupted my meditation??”