Live, Laugh, Lobotomy.

Here for a good time, not a long time.

[quasi-normalcy]

I don't remember finding fart jokes particularly funny even when I was a child.

[quasi-normalcy]

Five year old me, watching a movie with fart jokes: "Oh, how gauche. They're pandering to the lowest common denominator."

[leorioe]

when i’m in a beautiful man competition and my competitors are gwayne hightower and addam velaryon

[beardedmrbean]

this sounds like a party to me

[grand-theft-carbohydrates]

[titojefie]

ghost rider was my childhood and now that im goslingpilled you can tell how boggled i was over the announcement

[narcissa-black-supermacy]

i thought the “this is the face that launched a thousand ships, although now it would maybe be five-hundred.” line was just an internet joke but apparently that's a line Menelaus actually says in Nolan's Odyssey??

Not only that the language itself sounds straight out of a marvel forcibly funny haha moment, but Menelaus? The Menelaus who all thoughout human history, from Homer, to Sappho, to Euripides, to Virgil, to Shakespeare, to Brooke, to Barth; from Classical vases to Medieval poetry to Reinessance art, has been known as the man whose sword fell from his hands at the sight of his wife after 10 years apart?

"What joy for me to hold my wife" Menelaus?

"He flung the sword away, and kissed her feet" Menelaus?

"I believe all. I understand nothing. I love you" Menelaus?

"I have no fault to find; my wife, he daughter of Zeus and Leda, is mine again, she whom her brothers on their snow-white steeds, whilst torches blazed, made my happy bride, but gods removed her from my home." Menelaus?

The Menelaus who was picked out of the suitors by Helen herself? The Menelaus who couldn't kill a begging Trojan so his brother had to do it for him? The Menelaus who rescued Odysseus and got out Patroclus' body? The Menelaus who volounteered to fight Paris one on one so everybody could go home? Who kept expressing his guilt about himself being the cause of war through every assembly he spoke at in the Iliad? Who after 10 years away at Troy, took his wife through a 7-year long journey at sea back home, where he reinstated her as the queen of Sparta? Who wept like a child in front of Telemachus recalling the war and his brother and all the friends he lost and the only consolation being his wife' gentle hand on his?

You want me to believe that man scarred Helen's face and called her only worth half the ships because of it?

I'm actually physically sick just thinking about it.

[incorrectstevebucky]

bucky posed like an angry wife ready to greet his husband

[maryoliveoil]

[wrath-of-achilleus]

the trojan war is so funny because absolutely NO ONE wanted to be there

hector was clocking in like that one minimum wage employee keeping the local pizza hut afloat.

achilles had to basically be dragged kicking and screaming to troy, and he spent most of the last year of the war on strike (sulking).

they basically held odysseus’ infant son at gunpoint to make him join.

an argument could be made for menelaus wanting to be there, but the man just wanted to get his wife and get out.

paris may have started this shit but he sure as hell couldn’t finish it. hector had to drag him to the battlefield by ear daily.

even AGAMEMNON tried to go home.

[cinematicexcursions]

sorry what did you say? I was too busy thinking about that shot of Agamemnon once the gates opened in the Odessey

[betterbooktitles]

[vahlance]

What kind of problems do you think that gun could create

[eddardism]

ned stark is literally the embodiment of repression-as-survival like this man lost his father to fire his brother to strangulation his sister to a war that chewed her up and spat her out in childbirth then suddenly got handed the lordship of winterfell a role he was never groomed for and instead of ever processing any of that, he just … folded it all inwards buried it under ‘honor’ and ‘duty it’s giving victorian novel hero who locks his grief in the attic and by the time we reach his last chapters in agot you can see the cracks in real time he’s so tightly wound that the smallest fracture undoes him honestly some of the hardest most heartbreaking chapters to read sigh certified nedholic

[ghostinwinterfell]

picture this: the year is 2048 and the winds of winter has finally been released. you’re making your way through the different povs, including the alayne and mercy chapters. more alayne and more mercy. alayne and mercy and alayne and mercy and alayne and mercy. finally you turn the page and see SANSA across the top. the sun is shining, the birds are singing, your skin is glowing. you finish the chapter, turn the page, and see that ARYA is next. you are so back.

[the-muppet-joker]

Tump dies tonight while giving his speech in the hot hot sun. Like to charge, reblog to cast

[cowplantblues]

Actually when I say “fuck all billionaires” I particularly mean Taylor “having my wedding in the middle of the busiest city in the world on the busiest weekend in the world in the part of the city the majority of commuters need to get through because fuck working people” Swift

[angelbloggerqueen]

[librarycards]

please i need him to die on 4th of july gaudy as fuck 'america 250' celebration that would be the funniest thing ever i wouldn't even bitch about the fireworks. i wouldn't even do that.