Forever Wild

I guess. Lvl 23 chef. I read. I write. I try to live.

[raging-bull789]

Shit I hear sorority girls say

Omg we totally smoked 2 blunts last night and I didn't even get high...

[raging-bull789]

I've been fighting my creeping depression all week because of the anxiety and stress I've been feeling. Tried to make it better last night only to make it worse.

[raging-bull789]

Weed, Chinese food and a good dog. What else do you need?

[raging-bull789]

If you think silent crying is bad. Try silent crying and being baked....

[raging-bull789]

You realizing how mad you are at someone. Is when something good happens and you don't want to tell them.

[bookworm-on-rainy-days]

[raging-bull789]

Sadness

I came feel a sadness settling in. And I hurt. I just want to go back to sleep and sleep until I no longer hurt.

[raging-bull789]

I'm looking for people to help me. I'm trying to come to terms with being abused multiple times through out my life. 5 times in total. I need help. Someone tell me how you got through it.

[raging-bull789]

Yas. My anxiety is going crazy.

[raging-bull789]

Guys a few nights ago after much of a internal battle with my anxiety and hatred over my body. I finally decided to have sex. Now mind you I've had a rough past with guys abusing me; so finally letting this happened has actually let the rest of me heal. I couldn't push myself into letting this happen; I only broke myself more. I honest to God felt a piece that hadn't healed yet come back together. I've never felt whole before. I'm not saying that having sex healed me because I've been healing since I was very young and didn't understand what happened to me. Or why when I was older when two of the only guys I've dated decided to take advantage of me. Honest to God scared me from having a legit physical relationship with someone since. Sitting here at 23 I've felt better than I have since I could remember. I don't want this feeling to end.

[raging-bull789]

Somewhere someday someone is going to fall in love with my saddness.

[raging-bull789]

When I'm bored I masturbate over and over again.... until I can think of something else to do. And when I can't I take a nap.

[raging-bull789]

When your high and your trying to talk yourself down from getting a snack. I don't need it I don't need it I don't need it IIIIIII NEEEEEEEEED IIIIIIIITTTTT

[raging-bull789]

I don't understand

I don't know why both genders put down females. I constantly hear that in order for a female to be beautiful you have to a size zero. I may not be a size zero but no one deserves to be shamed in order to make yourself feel better..... I hate this god damn society.

[raging-bull789]

February has not been my month. I've had bad days before and even bad weeks but the hits just keep coming; I don't even see the light at the end. I don't know if I can't take it anymore.

[raging-bull789]

This is how I feel today. I don't know what is up and what is down. I'm in a never ending tailspin.

[raging-bull789]

HOW?!

How is it that I can go from being in a super great mood to going completely insane in a just a nanosecond?? I hate this I know nothings wrong and things have been going great but I just jump to conclusions so it kills me on the inside.