At this point
Both online, and in real life is so fucking pointless
My parents had an argument earlier like usual, with my Dad usually always keeping himself stable, but one I started to feel down, he blew out screamed at her and told her she needs to get the fuck out with her baby because he didn’t want to see his kids upset over Mom being like this almost every single fucking day.
I’m ngl too, Grandma came in because she wanted to see what was going on, she kinda gaslighted me to ask her if I was scared of my Mom, and when I tried to answer, she told me it’s rather a yes or no question, I said “a little bit”
Ever since I got my first tablet with it using to be my older half’s brothers with the creep we had to live with when I was mostly 10, I thought Social Media was basically my only chance of escape of what I had to deal with. And what do I get there?
Being taken advantage of online, being called a child predator over fictional drawings I made when I was also a little kid mind you, victim blamed for being groomed and being taken advantage of on what I drew for them just because the character was underage, the worst part of this? My life was threatened, basically being threatened to get doxxed, and I never said this part either, but when I was around 13, someone on Sony Sketch accused me of ||rape, and MAKING IT SOUND LIKE I actually did it in real life.||
Every time I come home, it’s the same shit with my family, my Mom and Dad arguing, (Sometimes with one of our neighbors), my Grandma making her religion her whole personality and basically shoving it in our throats and also a psychopath, AND even with the baby too.
As for online, I probably am still getting accused of something I’m not to this day, and some fucking community I used to be in probably saying horrible shit about me behind my back like always.
Me working on my document about my past, and only getting THREE of them finished while I got 23 more to finish.
I’m going to therapy tomorrow, but what will that do? It’s going to be the same shit.
The only thing that is actually making me feel sane is my friends in real life, and my teachers. I unfortunately have two more years with them and it’s going to suck so hard that I have to leave once I turn 22.
I wish I wasn’t born, I wish I never got online when I was 10, I wish I never met anyone that groomed me when I was a child, I wish I never met any public community that spread shit about me and my spaces out of spite, I wish I was never accused of having horrible content when I NEVER FUCKING DID, I’m still so disgusted about what has happened to me online and real life.
I can’t change identities either, I’ve been doing it over 10 times and at this point? I can’t change identities only go for Ragz Pizzle, BlueSpeed, and BlueRiverDash, because this is my only way to actually try to get help.
If I actually never went in here, I think everyone would probably be happy that I’m gone, and I mean, EVERYONE, along with my family and those that have a huge hate boner for me.
I can’t even take a break from the internet either, because that won’t help considering with what I have to deal with in my home every day.
So what will be there to help me besides my program huh..?
