cough

they/them writer wannabe

[rah1457]

DUDE I FOUND A PRESSURE FIC FROM LAST YEAR ON MY OLD GOOGLE ACC LMAOOO its actually kinda bomb so i might post it later

[rah1457]

MR KRABS I HAVE AN IDEAAAAAA

[rah1457]

ok yall on GOD on my MOMMA im thinking about writing again yes its been like a WHOLE YEAR I KNOW ive just been focusing on my art a lot lolol. anyslay if anyone got requests feel free to hmu or whatever

[rah1457]

*rises from my grave like a vampire*

these may end up just being some funny scenarios i though up at 1 am that were either cut from my other fic, or, i was just inspired to write these lol.

who cares anyway? not you, that's for sure.

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- It's always so strange, having basically a demigod as your roomate. Many people think that she'd act all high and mighty, considering her power, right?

-Surprisingly, not really. Mach has always been down to earth ever since you met her in rock park that one night.

-It was NOT a fun time. You'd woken up, laying down in front of a bench, head pounding with a headache. Your thoughts themselves were fuzzy, and all you could hear was this eerie music playing

-It felt like a nightmare. Something out of the dreamcore videos you used to watch at 3 AM. It all felt WAAYYY too real to just be a dream. But after pinching yourself, it finally kicked in that this WAS not a dream.

-You couldn't really tell how long you were there. In front of that bench, you kept falling back into a hazy half-sleep.

-At some point, something poked your curled up form. It was a woman, with bright red eyes, dressed head to toe in purple. You could only see bits of her hair peeking out from the massive top hat on her head.

-It was strange, really. You wondered if she was the mad hatter in your hell of a nightmare. Perhaps she wanted to take you to have some tea.

-Apparently, you had spoken the thought out loud, since her eyebrows furrowed and she herself mumbled about picking up drunk strangers off the side of the street.

-As you regained deliberate conciousness, you quickly explained that you were not in fact drunk, and instead didn't know where you were.

-Mach thought you were batshit crazy. Everyone who had been on the elevator had at least HEARD of Rock Park.

-Soon, as you explained more of your situation, she realized that you didn't KNOW about the elevator, or about much of this world, really. It stuck her as bizarre.

-Some kindness in her heart urged her to help you in whatever way she could. Now, after her sister passed, Mach didn't really like getting too close to people. She'd never admit it, but it scared her. Way deep down, she was waiting for the next person she cared about to die.

-But she figured it wouldn't harm her to at least offer you a place to stay.

-So, she walked you to the elevator, offering to help keep you steady on your shaky legs. You almost fell over multiple times just standing in the Regretevator.

-When you both arrived at what you would soon recognize as HALL OF, all of your senses were completely bombarded with the strong scent of gasoline and something burning, the bright orangish hue that was entirely too much, and above all, the scorching heat. You had began to sweat just standing there.

-You saw the obstacle course in front of you. The long platforms, the rings of plasma. You felt like vomiting. There was no way you were going to make it. For a moment you wondered if this was where you were going to die, at the hands of some malicious stranger with a top hat.

-Honestly, that was a pretty badass way to die.

-But as the incinerator snapped into place behind the entrance, you were flung onto Mach's shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

-The next minute was the most magical (and terrifying) thing your overheated brain believed you had ever seen. The ground rushed beneath you in a sort of hypnotic manner as Mach made a quick dash to some platform you couldn't see, all while carrying you about as gently as one could while being chased by a wall of fire.

-You don't really remember a lot of what happened after the obstacle course. From what you could best recall, Mach carried you up into the flat, and made a bed for you out of the couch.

-You promptly fell asleep for about 18 hours.

-After the whole incident, Mach began to explain the reality-bending elevator to you, offering a theory that the elevator must have wanted something to do with you. What it could have been was anyone's guess.

-You didn't know how long you were going to be stuck here, but Mach claimed she was willing to let you stay as long as you desired. Something about needed company was also mentioned, but you threw it aside as a formality.

-At first, Mach kept this stoic face that made you want to hide whenever she looked your direction. After a while, though, you found out that she just had a chronic case of Resting Bitch Face, and wasn't as intimidating as she let on.

-One day you noticed that it always smelled like straight fire and gasoline in the flat, and it was starting to get to you. So, you went to find something that would make any fire at least a bit more bearable: an overpriced scented candle.

-After spending about three hours in the store, you found a candle that you hoped both of you could agree on. Scented nutmeg and vanilla, it was sweet and nutty, but not overwhelming so.

-You put it in a bag, and offered it to Mach one day as a sort of thank you gift, in addition to serving its purpose. You also packed her a KatKot bar. They always had strange flavors, so you hoped that maybe it would make her laugh at the sheer absurdity of a lemonade flavored chocolate.

-Mach stared at the bag in your hands as you sidled up to her. As you handed her the package, she looked dumbfounded. The concept was odd to her. She recalled being of a young age the last time she recieved a gift. It was from her sister, a type of candy that the both of them liked.

-Mach gently pulled the candle and weird sweets out of the bag. At first, she didn't respond, so you began to ramble apologies and about how the receipt was still in the bag and-

-She burst out laughing. It was a glorious sound, something you never expected to come from the stoic woman's vocal cords.

-As the laughter stopped its echoes through the flat, Mach looked into your eyes, a rare smile etched onto her features. Few words were spoken; many more were implied. Most of all, you understood she enjoyed the gift.

-After you had gone to bed, Mach lit the candle alone in her room. The gentle scent reminded her of things that had passed. Of things she missed, and of things she had not thought of in far too long. She cried.

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(A/N)

Hey fam, hope you're doing well. I'm actually surprised at how much people have seemed to enjoy these little things I keep writing. I'm glad. I'm gonna be completely honest, I haven't been doing all too well recently. But I hope y'all like this one. Have a good one, homeslices!!!!

[rah1457]

"this is awful" the tags say, after writing the most peak content to ever exist

Genuinely so good and delicious pkease keep posting

Tysm fammm 😭🙏 It's people like you that encourage me to keep writing

and dw i have more on the way :D

[rah1457]

what the hell do you MEAN its finals week and i dont have anything done of COURSE i have stuff done.

erm....

anyway back to the subject matter at hand. WOMEN *boom sfx*

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you reached the end of HALL OF with ease, leaping and dodging past the flames. as you slowed to a jog, you exhaled with relief. you were barely sweating, and considering the fact that you were being chased by an actual line of FIRE, that was pretty damn good.

The woman on the catwalk gazed down at you with a small smile. Inside her heart was a swell of pride that showed its face every time she noticed you, and you alone, beat the insanely hard obstacle course. she had taught you well.

"Mach! Gonna let me up or what?"

Silently she extended her massive red hammer down to the victory platform. Grabbing onto the end, you were swung onto the catwalk, with a landing that was anything but graceful. you groaned from the collision, coming to your knees.

"Damn, could you even be a little gentler with the swing? Every time I get up here it feels like you're gonna slam me into the wall..." you complained.

"Takes momentum to gather the force to get up here, don't blame me," Mach shrugged, although you noticed a teasing lilt to her tone.

"Yeah, whatever," you grumbled, "How do YOU even get down there anyway? Do you just jump?"

"Stairs," she pointed to a door you hadn't noticed until this very moment.

You deadpanned.

"We had STAIRS. and you continue. to swing me up. on your HAMMER. AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO TELL ME?!"

"You never asked," a small smirk appeared on her face.

You scrunched your face and walked into your shared home. The smell of nutmeg and vanilla calmed your senses. It was from a candle that you had bought for Mach a while back, as a sort of thanks for letting you stay with her. She lit it every day.

Calling the building a "home" was a bit of a stretch, considering it was actually an abandoned facility. But, you pondered, home is really about the people you come to associate it with anyway. You didn't know how Mach came to own this place, but you didn't really want to question it much. What you DID question was the severe lack of furniture. In the "living room" there were two large chairs in the center, with a plain tan rug underneath them. That was it.

...you really needed to get Mach to an outlet store or something.

"Hey. I have some food, if you're hungry," Mach called to you from the "kitchen", a small room comprised of a fridge, a microwave, and a table with three chairs.

"I'm down," you stated as you sidled over to one of the chairs. it was your designated chair, as Mach was too tall, and Pilby was too short to comfortably fit. Speaking of which, you wondered where Pilby was at this hour. Probably on the elevator. They seemed to enjoy it there, despite the constant sad aura that seemed to hang over them like a cloud.

Mach pulled out the leftover mac n cheese from your previous night's dinner and put it in the microwave.

"Did anything happen on the elevator that I should be aware of?" she asked, looking back at you.

"Nah, everything was pretty normal," you replied.

"Hm," Her eyebrows were knitted together, displaying an emotion like confusion, concern, and focus all in one.

"What's up? It seems like something's bothering you,"

"Listen. I'm more than happy to have you here. I quite enjoy your company, actually. However..." She paused, trying to find the words, "I often wonder if you ever want to go home. Or, well, to the place you were before you showed up on the elevator,"

"I mean, I can't really remember it anyway, so what's there to miss?" You shrugged coolly.

You could still recall the day Mach found you unconcious in Rock Park, passed out in front of a bench. Everything before then was a little fuzzy, to be honest. You remembered some friends, and that you indeed had a life before entering the Regretevator, but every time you tried to think about details of the people you knew before, it mostly came up blank. Sometimes you wondered what they were doing now. You never stuck on it though.

Mach looked at you for a second before nodding and setting out two plates. You began to eat, while she sat. Her heel tapped the hardwood floor, a rare sign of anxiety.

"No, seriously, what's going on, Mach? Was your day just stressful or something? Do you want to talk about it?" It was unusual for the stoic woman to be this...nervous.

"I...I just know what it's like to not be able to see your family again..." her words came out almost like she was fighting with herself to even say them, "Are you sure you're alright?"

" 'bout as good as I can be!" You tried to be lighthearted, since Mach looked like she was having some serious war flashbacks.

She had told you a bit of her past, and you had pieced some of it together yourself, but the main gist you understood was that she had lost someone very important to her. and you feared that she lost that someone in a not very nice way.

"Okay...If you do ever want to... talk about it, I'm...usually nearby..," Mach shook herself out of her trance.

"Thank you, Mach. I mean it," you replied genuinely.

She stood without a word, looking deep in thought. You wondered what must have come up within her to make her feel all this at once. Must not have been pleasant. Suddenly you remembered something.

"Wait, I have a gift for you!" you called after her.

"Hm?" She turned to make eye contact.

You pulled a Katkot out of your pocket. Luckily it hadn't been burned by the incinerator.

"What flavor is it?" She squinted to read the label, " 'Gleebzarp lemon' flavor?"

"Yeah, Gnarpy gave it to me. Said xe hated this flavor," you beamed with pride.

"Oh. Huh,"

"Do you wanna try it with me...?" you added a lilt to your voice, to make it sound like it would be a fun experience. In all honesty, it was probably going to taste awful.

"Would I ever," a smirk graced Mach's usually blank countenance.

You excitedly unwrapped the candy bar and gave her half. You both cringed. It did taste awful. But it didn't really bother you, because the smile on the broken woman's face was worth more than a thousand good chocolates, so to speak.

You recalled that sometimes the greatest (and worst) things in life are best shared with someone else.

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(A/N): Hi there! I would like to add some additional info regarding this fic. I am a writer who likes to keep their characters as close to the canon as possible, while still writing a decent story with a decent "plot". As such, it's canon that Mach is aromantic and asexual. Now, that isn't to say that this cannot be read as her having romantic feelings for you, but I would just like to note that the way I intend this is that it's more leaning torward platonic. It should also be noted that AroAce individuals, including characters, each express their sexuality in different ways. I don't mean to break any Mach fans' hearts, I just wanted to put this out here.

The reason I say all this is to justify calling this fic an "x reader". Typically the term implies romance and/or sexual attraction, but as I just said, this fic....doesn't include either of those. I apologize if you were looking for a steamy makeout session with Mach.

Oh and also if you like this and my other lil writings I have a bunch more ideas and I'll probably be posting more info on a small "series" I might be doing very soon.

[rah1457]

(i realized i have free will and can post whatever and whenever i want this tag is cooked)

it had been a rough day for you. as you drowned in THE FLOOD, you began to lose hope in yourself. these obbies felt like they were getting harder every day...when you respawned, you went and sat in the corner of the elevator, resting your head in the crook of your arm.

gnarpy was the only other individual in the elevator. their spaceship had crashed at a camp, so xe looked for shelter nearby

luckily, this strange elevator was open, and Gnarpy had no better option other than to hop on.

Worst. Decision. Of. Xyr. Life.

Not only was xe constantly surrounded by these absolutely IDIOTIC lifeforms, but these same lifeforms wanted to make FRIENDS with xem! A Gnarpian! they almost laughed at the absurd thought. No, obviously, Gnarpians were superior to all these elevator freaks.

so NOW Gnarpy was stuck in an elevator with YOU. Xe really didn't have a lot of words to describe you. Annoying. A pain. Generally weak and useless. Yeah, that was right...

You were currently in a corner, lamenting your choices in life. occasionally being a bit over the top but who cared? You knew that Gnarpy hated you regardless.

"You humanz are ZOOO dramatic," xe rolled xyr eyes.

"Wh-Excuse me?!" you sputtered.

"You heard me. That FLOOD would have been EAZY to beat. I could have done it in NO TIME," they stated with an air of pride.

You glared at Gnarpy, sighed, and put your head back into your hands. Honestly? You didn't doubt that the cat alien could complete any given floor. it didn't make you feel any better. the elevator went silent as you sat there, trying to hold yourself together long enough to get to the next floor.

"...You juzt needed to jump a bit fazter, " xe mumbled under xyr breath.

"What was that?"

"ARE ALL OF YOU EARTHLINGZ BRAINLEZZ?! I ZAID YOU NEEDED TO JUMP QUICKER!"

"Wait, that's what I was missing?" you DID recall going a bit slow...

"Yez, juzt be more efficient with your movementz. Yearz of training have taught me...." they continued to gloat about how xe was trained, and other stuff that essentially boiled down to gnarpians being the greatest, and world domination.

"...and THAT'Z how I survived the great aztral shower,"

"...oh! uh huh, yeah, cool!" you definitely zoned out. listening to gnarpy go on and on was...something else.

"WERE YOU EVEN LIZTENING?!"

"..no,"

You fully expected a threat, or a curse in xyr native language, but all you were met with was a twitch of xyr eyes, and a swish of xyr tail. xe sat back and went silent. you really didn't think it would have THIS much of an effect on Gnarpy. Xe usually didn't care about anyone or anything...

"Well, thanks for the advice on THE FLOOD. I'll be sure to use it next time. Gregoriah won't have to worry about a thing," you flashed a smile.

Xe glared at you, "Whatever. You zhould juzt die,"

"Yeah, yeah, you say that everytime, and guess who always comes back?" you pointed to yourself.

Xe snorted, "Unfortunately,"

You laughed and bounced off the regretevator to your next floor. The doors closed. The alien general sat down in their spot. discomfort pulled at xyr heart that had been absent for far too long. xe missed xyr home.

but xe found that you felt a lot like that home.

[rah1457]

floor 3008.

you did NOT want this floor.

the text at the top of your vision appeared like always, saying the same thing every time.

"Find Lampert!"

the task itself wasn't daunting. quite simple, in fact. you just weren't really in the mood to see him right now.

you took a few steps off the Regretevator into the knockoff Ikea, halfheartedly making an attempt to find the individual in question. it wouldnt be all that hard to NOT find him, in the endless aisles of furniture. a part of you wished that he wouldn't be found. it would save you the trouble of seeing him. unfortunately, one of the other passengers on the elevator found Lampert, and you sighed as the supernatural force teleported you back to the Regretevator.

red ball temple. as everyone rushed out of the elevator, you stayed. not to say you were bad, per se, but you were bad at this obby in particular. you stood awkwardly in the corner, hoping not to be seen or heard by the lamp person. you found your arms wrapping around your body to be most comfortable. you started to daze off, letting yourself get hypnotized by the music of the temple.

"are you all right?"

a quiet voice broke your stupor. Lampert was looking at you.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just tired,"

"..m'kay. you know you can...get off...right?"

you stared at him for a second, trying to find the intent behind his words. they seemed genuine, if not plain blunt.

"i'm aware. But I need to keep going. i dont really know when my floor is gonna show up," you responded.

"huh. what floor are you looking for?" Lampert shifted to face you, arms relaxing on the railing behind him.

"Eh, any floor with Mach. HALL OF, WALL OF, so on. I've been staying with her and Pilby for a bit," you explained, "but i gotta question for you,"

"what's up?"

"don't those railings have unholy amounts of germs on them?"

watching him panic was almost like a comedy. he yelped and started wiping his arms down aggressively. you bit back a chuckle. Lampert was quite an interesting fellow. too bad this was the very thing that kept you away from him. you averted your eyes as he continued his futile wipedown. ever since you first saw him, he always sparked your interest. a walking, talking lamp? truly a spectacle! as you got to know him, the more you wanted to know. and somehow you found yourself adoring this wonderful being, wanting to get closer. the only problem being he was deathly terrified of germs. so, you stood, and watched respectfully from a distance.

it was heartbreaking. at least to you.

a few people returned from the temple, with most being flattened by the large Red Ball that guarded it. you chatted away with some of the survivors as the floors changed. the Regretevator dinged, and the doors opened to HALL OF. most of the others in the elevator groaned, but you were relieved. Mach taught you how to do this one easily anyway.

As you stepped out to the fiery walkway, you didn't notice the eyes watching you. you didn't notice the slight frown on his face, didn't see the tickets clamped gently in his fist. and as you dashed to escape the incinerator, you certainly didn't hear the small whisper that he hoped to see you again.