Frogs

[vampiresdontsleep]

[autismfox]

Someone else come fuck that guy for me

[thenyanguardparty]

[theehorsepusssy]

[swagophile]

me: im so bored today idk what to do

the scary pervert: i have an idea....

me: oh my god ew no

the scary pervert: wtf is your problem i was gonna suggest we play mario kart. come on

me: oh okay phew i thought you were gonna suggest we have evil sex again

the scary pervert: i'm a complex and multifaceted person, mori. i'm more than just a few sexual encounters

me: okay youre right im sorry

the nuanced individual: thank you. now if i win you have to let me hurt you sexually

me: [smiling] sure why not, that seems fair enough

[cpericardium]

[ronartesian-deactivated20161106]

I haven’t ate anything since 11 Bruh I’m starving

[woodmeat]

damn an u how old now?

[womanguy]

you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.

[papasmoke]

Oojka wamma po Jen'kiwi. Biig Woopa slemmy dengo peet

[papasmoke]

His most mighty Exaltedness would like to request that you fetch him a mint condition DVD of the beloved Earth film; Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore, failure to do so will result in a fate… worse than death.

[papasmoke]

[illiteracyspaghetti]

[buffyfknlo]

Communication is key

[crabanarchy]

They say ooooh be a good boy for daddy and you'll get a reward. But then the reward is just gay sex. This is bullshit. I wanted a skateboard

[reactionimagesdaily]

[tiffinposts]

My Finnish husband, making stir fry noodles: "I'm not using a recipe. I'm listening to my ancestors. And they don't know what any of this is."

[mewnbuns]

watching his cock twitch and leak with rock-hard anticipation when he measures it up against your lower stomach, seeing how deep he’s about to reach

[mctreeleth]

they need to make a menstrual cup with a tap on the end. vampire fratboys should be able to do a keg stand off my vagina.

[javert]

i could not eat a dozen fried eggs and would never want to do so. but i almost certainly could accidentally eat a dozen deviled eggs if i was at a party or perhaps a picnic and they were there. they are a highly dangerous food item in this way

[filmphotofranz]

[tyrian-red]

my erotic fanfiction is more historically accurate than yours. here it claims that shes moaning 'yes,' however classical latin didn't have a word that corresponds to Modern English 'yes,' i.e. an affirmative answer to an interrogative. You could have easily avoided this glaring implausibility by allowing her to moan plus, 'more'—as exemplified in my critically acclaimed fic with an unprecedented number of kudos (eleven). I recommend that you log out of AO3 and return only after acquiring satisfactory knowledge of the subject matter.