Untitled

[rainunseen]

Troubled Past (Todoroki X OC)

Warnings: HEAVY themes of sexual abuse of a CHILD, DNI if that topic makes you uncomfortable PLEASE. Crying, Self-harm, non-descriptive unfinished sex, sexual references but I definitely wouldn't call it smut, I think that's the big stuff but let me know if I missed some of it. Neither the sex nor the abuse is very lewd or descriptive.

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Character: Shoto Todoroki (MHA)

Sara gasped as her back slammed against the front door to Todoroki’s apartment the second they’d made it in, his fingers immediately finding and deftly unhooking the buttons down the front of her shirt. He pulled the material off her arms as he ducked his head to her neck, leaving marks and kisses in his wake. Once the shirt was gone, his hands eagerly moved to the button of her jeans.

Sara chuckled, placing a hand over the one fiddling with her pants. “Not so fast, Hotshot. Surely you can wait until we get to the bedroom?”

Todoroki leveled a dark look at her, his eyes shining with desire and lust, causing Sara’s breath to catch in her throat. “Not a chance.”

The heat settling in her stomach flared at that look in his eyes, her desire conflicting with the words she’d just spoken as she roughly grabbed a handful of his t-shirt to bring him in for a hot kiss.

Without warning, an arm swept below her knees and she yelped, throwing her arms around Todoroki’s neck in response, before letting out an endearing laugh that had the hero smiling at the sound.

From there, she’s not really sure what happened to either of their clothes. Between Todoroki’s distracting touch and him being just too good with his hands, they were both naked and in bed in no time.

A hand caressed Sara’s cheek as she lay beneath him, slowly moving down to her shoulder and oh-so-softly tracing a line down her side before gripping the back of her thigh and lifting it to wrap around his waist.

Todoroki leaned down to capture her lips in a kiss, but it was different from earlier. Slow, soft…loving. Now that he had her here, beneath him, he wanted to take his time and show her just how much she meant to him. He wasn’t in a rush.

One of her hands crept up to thread itself into his two-toned hair while the other gripped desperately onto his shoulder, a whimper escaping her mouth.

Todoroki pulled back from their kiss to gaze down at her with a smirk. “Who’s the eager one now, hmm?”

She opened her eyes, and the look of pure desperation, need, and want in her gaze made his breath catch. “Please,” she breathed, her hand falling from his hair to rest on his other shoulder. “I want you, Shoto.”

His eyes widened at her use of his name. He heard it every day since it was his hero name, but hearing her say it now…he couldn't wait any longer.

He leaned down to her ear, his hot breath fanning across her neck and sending pleasant shivers down her spine. “How could I ever say no to you when you look at me like that?” With those words, he slowly began to push himself into her and heard her gasp, clutching him tighter. He groaned at the feeling of her walls around him, easing himself further into her.

When something wet touched the side of his face pressed to her neck, he sat up with a start to find tears slipping from her closed eyes. “Oh, Sara…” His expression softened and he leaned down to kiss the corners of her eyes. “I know it hurts, I’m sorry.”

The woman’s eyes opened slightly, but he saw no pain in her gorgeous ice-blue irises—only an overwhelming adoration for the hero she set her gaze upon. “It’s okay, Sho. I can handle more than you give me credit for.”

Todoroki chuckled, sifting a hand through the long rose brown hair that splashed onto the pillow beneath her head. “I think you’re plenty capable, Sara—I just wanna make sure you’re as comfortable as possible. I’d hate for our first time to be a bad experience for you.”

“I appreciate your concern, but really, I’m—” She gasped when he shifted ever so slightly inside her, her last word losing its potency. “—fine.”

She shuddered with pleasure and anticipation. “Jesus, Sho, keep going. You’re killing me with the suspense here.”

The hero smiled, settling his head beside hers again. “If you insist.”

He pushed further inside her—he was almost all the way, now—and the woman beneath him cried out and began trembling, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

Todoroki slowed his movement a bit, hating to hear her in pain, and placed a kiss on her collarbone. “Just a little more…it’ll be over soon.”

Suddenly, he felt the woman’s entire body tense and her breath stopped completely. Her grip on him tightened even further, her nails sinking into his skin so far it drew blood, and he winced, pulling back in confusion at the sudden change in her body language.

“Sara? What’s—” He stopped dead when he saw her expression. Her eyes were wild with pure, unadulterated fear, looking up at him as though he was…a monster.

Her body began to shake violently, but this time it wasn’t out of pain or pleasure. She was…terrified, to say the least. And he had no idea what was wrong. Had he done something to upset her? Had she not wanted this, after all?

Sara gazed up at him in horror, memories clouding her vision and altering her reality as the past came crashing down on her in that one, single moment. In her eyes, she was no longer looking at Shoto Todoroki. Rather, she was lying beneath a monster.

A monster that had tormented her for years—one who used to speak those same words to her with no remorse as he used her however he pleased.

She snatched her hands away from his shoulders, pressing against his chest and forcefully pushing him up, off, and out of her in one fell swoop.

Her shaking fingers grabbed the sheets and clutched them to her chest as she began to hyperventilate, her lower lip trembling from the panic enveloping her body.

Then, almost as quickly as she’d reacted, she realized her mind was playing tricks on her. The hero before her was nothing like the dark figure of her past, and she almost couldn’t believe she’d really thought they were the same person, even if only for a moment. She wrapped her arms around her middle as guilt and regret settled over her.

Sara looked up at him, pale blue meeting blue-grey, and her heart clenched in both pain and relief. Relief because Shoto was there, right in front of her, and pain because of the concern etched across his face and the utter helplessness in his expression. He had been forced to watch as the woman he loved was torn apart by an enemy he didn’t even know how to approach.

She closed her eyes tightly. How…how could I ever confuse the two? How could I ever mistake such a kind, compassionate man for that monster? Her arms tightened around herself, nails digging into her sides. Is this…how it’ll always be? Will I never be able to love him how I want to, how he deserves, because of the things I went through back then?

Her body still shook with fear, but no longer of him. There was something he couldn’t see, something deep within her, that had reared its ugly head. And she tried, desperately, to push it back down to the depths of her mind, where it had been locked away for years.

Todoroki could see in her eyes that she was fighting, but as she leaned into his arms, shaking violently and letting out desperate, fearful whimpers, he could feel she was losing. He didn’t know what to do or how to help as the love of his life shattered to pieces in his arms.

“I’m sorry…” He heard her whisper, clutching onto his arm. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Shoto…””

Todoroki wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly to his chest, letting her head rest on his shoulder as she started to cry, an endless string of apologies leaving her lips. He pressed his face against her hair, eyes tightly closed and brows furrowed in pain as he listened to her break apart.

He wasn’t exactly sure what she was apologizing for. I guess she feels bad for…ruining the mood? His arms tightened around her as he thought. No, it has to be something else. She knows she would never have to apologize for that when she’s so obviously terrified of something.

Todoroki worried about the origins of her apology. The way her voice cracked with such overwhelming guilt suggested there was another reason. Was it…something she saw? Did it have anything to do with the way she looked at him?

He couldn’t be sure without more information, but one thing was for certain—he’d never, ever, seen her like this. He couldn’t imagine what could have caused it either, but her heartbreaking cries were debilitating for him. He began to rock her back and forth in his arms, softly stroking her hair and whispering reassurance in her ear. “I’ve got you, Sara, you’re okay.”

Her grip on him tightened as she pressed herself as far against him as she could. His name left her lips in a quiet whimper.

“I’m right here, angel. I’m not going anywhere.” He assured, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

After a while, when her sobs had died down to quiet sniffles, Todoroki pulled back so he could look at her. “Sara…” He cupped her face in both hands and lifted her eyes to his. “Sara, look at me.”

He brushed a stray strand of rose-brown hair from her face, his gaze softening as he examined her broken expression. “I don’t know what happened, or what you saw, but this is not your fault. Do you hear me? You have nothing to be sorry for.”

A single tear slipped down her cheek as she gazed up at him. His heterochromatic eyes showed nothing but love and concern for her, his face drawn with worry. Lifting a hand up, she brushed a few unkempt locks of red hair from his face and wondered what on earth she did to deserve a man as understanding and caring as he was. Someone who comforted her and assured her without question, and loved her unconditionally.

Her eyelids drooped from exhaustion, and she thought, surely, she must be dreaming. The man sitting before her, holding her, loving her…

Todoroki saw her fatigue and gathered her back into his arms, resting his cheek on the top of her head as she leaned against him. “Sleep now, my love.”

As she drifted off, the dual-toned hero gently laid her down, pulled the covers over them both, and drew her back against his chest, nestling his face in her neck. “I love you, Sara, more than anything.”

Todoroki lay awake beside her for a while, uneasiness writhing in the pit of his stomach. He worried about the way she’d reacted to him, but even more…he worried about what could possibly have caused such a reaction.

The heady scent of lavender that radiated from the woman in his arms lulled him, and before long, he fell asleep alongside her.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The first time it happened, Sara barely knew what was going on. She’d been instructed to lie down on her bed, close her eyes, and be still. She remembered having a pink dress on, socks, no shoes. Her arms were resting comfortably at her sides on top of her lilac bedspread.

“Daddy, what are you doing?” She giggled a bit, expecting some sort of gift or surprise, resisting the urge to squirm around in excitement.

She heard her father chuckle from across the room, the sound of clothes rustling and a belt clinking adding to her confusion. “Just a moment, sweetheart, I’ll get to you in a second.”

Sara bounced her small feet on the bed a few times in impatience. “Hurry up, Daddy, I wanna know what the surprise is!”

She felt the bed shift as her father climbed onto it, hovering over her petite form. He’d wanted this for so long—his cute little daughter laid out before him, vulnerable to his every desire—but he knew that she was too young before. Now, she was mature enough to understand that no one could know about this if that’s what he told her, but not quite old enough to know how wrong this truly was.

He hoped she would enjoy it—alas, the experience would be that much sweeter—but it was ok if she didn’t. After all, this wouldn’t be happening if he really cared how she felt.

“Alright, darling, you can open our eyes now.”

Riddled with excitement, the little girl’s eyes snapped open immediately, only for her red irises to fill with confusion as she took in her father in all his naked glory.

Her face grew pale as her instincts told her to run, told her that whatever was coming would not be good for her. “D-daddy? What…what’s going on? What are you doing?”

A crooked, malicious smile stretched across his face as his hands found the fabric of her underwear and pulled them down and off her legs. “I wouldn’t worry too much about that, just focus on being a good girl for Daddy, okay?”

“Wait—Daddy! You’re not supposed to touch that!” Her feeble hands desperately tried to push his hardened ones away as fear curdled her stomach. This is not right. This is not supposed to happen! I have to get away from this!

But there was no chance for her. He was nearly three times her size, while she was barely sixty pounds. He locked both hands above her head with minimal effort, lifting her dress above her stomach with his free hand. He didn’t have to worry about her screams—he’d planned for that. There was a reason he’d moved them out to the country last year.

His grip on her wrists was tight, and she grit her teeth at the pain. “Daddy, please, you’re hurting me!”

He simply laughed at her. “Oh, my sweet, darling child, if you think this hurts—” He gave her wrists a rough squeeze, and she yelped, “then you’ve no idea what’s in store for you today.”

She looked down as she felt his waist shifting against hers, and her eyes widened as she gained a general understanding of what he meant to do. “No, no, no, Daddy that won’t fit! Please, don't!”

“Oh, it’ll fit.” With that, he shoved himself halfway inside her, groaning in satisfaction at the way she squeezed him.

A bloodcurdling scream filled the room, and young Sara began crying uncontrollably from the overwhelming pain that consumed her body. She felt no pleasure from this, as her father did.

“Shh, darling, don’t cry.” In truth, he was enjoying the pain she felt, loving the way the tears streamed down her tiny little face.

And then came the words that had haunted her all her life. The ones he repeated—word for word— each time this happened, right after the pain started.

“Just a little more…it’ll be over soon.”

At the tender age of eight, Sara Fujimura was raped by her father for the first time.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Sara woke up screaming that night, her face wet with tears. The skin covering her stomach was burning, and her chest was heaving with terror.

The room was dark, and she reached out desperately to her right, her instincts unknowingly pushing her toward salvation.

In her nightmarish haze, she’d forgotten where she was and the events of last night, so, mentally, she wasn’t exactly sure what she was grasping for until a strong pair of arms wrapped her up and held her as close as possible. The second his skin touched hers, the physical and emotional relief she felt was palpable as she sagged into his embrace and tried hopelessly to still her beating heart, taking deep breaths in between choked sobs.

Todoroki ran his hand up and down her back, his face tucked against the side of hers. “You’re okay, I’m right here.” He reassured, his eyes burning. He hated seeing her like this, but he didn’t know what was wrong, or how he could help. This was all he could think of.

“You’re safe, Sara. I promise.”

She began to cry harder and adamantly shook her head where it was tucked into the crook of his neck, her hands reaching up to grab his shoulders and hanging onto them as though her life depended on it.

“No, I’m no-“ Her voice broke. “I-I’ll never be safe as long as…as long as he’s-!” A violent shiver shook her entire frame, fear stifling her voice.

Todoroki’s brow twitched at her words. He…? Who is she talking about? Who… He lifted his head and studied her trembling form. Who could have done this to her?

His face darkened as his vision flashed red. I swear to god I’ll find out who did this to her and kill them.

Sara whimpered pitifully, her grip on him tightening and bringing him back to the situation at hand.

His expression softened and he cupped her face to guide her gaze to his. Revenge can wait, and finding out what happened isn’t important right now.

“Sara,” He swiped his thumbs across her cheeks, wiping her tears away. “As long as I’m here, no one can ever hurt you. I swear to you, I won’t let any harm come to you again.” Right now, she needs me to be her warmth, her safety, her protection.

More than anything, she needs any compassion I have rather than my anger, so…revenge can wait.

A fresh wave of tears flowed down her face as she stared at the beautiful man before her. A man who had been hurt so much throughout his life, but could still find sympathy for others.

He may seem cold and uncaring, but in reality, he’s more kind, attentive, and capable than any person she’d known in her life.

There was warmth in his eyes as he stared down at her, an emotion so strong that no words could capture just how all-encompassing it was.

“Shoto…” Sara lifted a hand to his face and brushed his bangs back from his face, admiring his features. Her voice was thick and scratchy from the screaming and crying she’d done. “I love you, Shoto.”

Todoroki’s face crumpled as he was overwhelmed by the love she expressed for him even while she was in so much pain. “Oh, Sara…” He pressed his lips to her forehead as a lone tear slipped down his face. “I love you, more than anything.”

He pulled away to meet her gaze, and she gasped, eyes widening in surprise. In all the time they’d been together, not once had she seen him cry. She’d never even seen him tear up.

“Oh…” She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him close, weaving one hand into his hair as he rested his forehead on her shoulder. His arms circled around her waist as he focused on regaining his composure. “I’m so sorry, Shoto.”

She inhaled shakily. “I didn’t…I didn’t mean to upset you, I just…”

The hero’s grip on her tightened as he shook his head. “No, that’s not it.”

He lifted his head and her hands fell to rest on his shoulders. “It’s just hard to see you in so much pain and not be able to do anything about it.”

He dropped his face into his hands, his shoulders sagging under the weight of the helplessness he felt. “I don’t know what to do. I want to help you—I want you to feel safe and happy, but I-” His voice broke. “I don’t even know where to start…I don’t know if I’m capable of being what you need me to be.”

Sara reached up and pulled his hands from his face. “Don’t say that, Shoto. You being here is more than enough. Even last night, your first thought was to comfort me rather than ask questions.”

Her gaze flickered to her bare stomach and she instinctively wrapped an arm around herself. “I’m sure you’ve got a million questions running through your head, but up until now I wasn’t sure I could talk about it with you—or anyone, for that matter.”

Todoroki didn’t miss the way she covered her stomach, and his attention was immediately drawn by the movement. He looked up at her with a questioning gaze, but she avoided his eyes.

He gently pulled her arm away, before letting out a broken, heart-wrenching sob at what was revealed. Sara screwed her eyes shut at the sound, feeling his grip on her wrist tighten.

“Oh, god.” His hand hovered shakily over her stomach, wanting to heal it somehow but not wanting to hurt her by touching it.

Her skin was torn and scrubbed raw--as if she’d been trying to tear herself open.

“Sara…” Todoroki’s voice was barely above a whisper. When she opened her eyes to look at him, she saw how desperate he was to understand. “What… happened? Who hurt you to the extent that you’d do this yourself?”

He saw the hesitation in her features and took a deep breath, closing his eyes. “You don’t have to tell me, I just…” He leaned his head on her shoulder again. “I want to understand.”

It was quiet for a long time. Neither of them moved or spoke.

Finally, Sara took in a deep breath and broke the silence. “My father.”

Todoroki’s brows furrowed in both confusion and dread, but when he moved to raise his head, she pushed it back down.

“Please,” She begged. “If I see your expression I think I’ll lose my nerve.”

There was another stretch of silence before a shaky exhale left her lips. “When I was eight, my father…he-“ She paused, her voice quieting significantly. If Todoroki could have seen her face, he would’ve noticed the glassy, far-away look in her eyes.

“He raped me for the first time.”

Every muscle in the hero’s body tensed, his eyes widening in shock.

That was the absolute last thing he had expected her to say.

Sara felt him go rigid, squeezed her eyes shut, and pressed her hands against her stomach in an effort to stop their trembling and keep her resolve.

It was about time she told someone about this—keeping it to herself had grown to be far too much of a burden.

She took another deep breath, and her voice returned with a bit of the volume it had lost. “He had moved us out to the country the year prior, which he later told me was part of his plan.” She looked down at her shaking hands, goosebumps rising along her skin. “...there were no neighbors to hear me scream.

“He also said that he’d been waiting for me. That 8 was the perfect age for me to be old enough to understand no one else could know, but too young to realize how wrong it was. He-“ She choked back a sob. “He was wrong.” Her voice fell to a whisper, tears falling on the sheets wrapped around her legs.

“It was…it was horrible,” her voice cracked on the last word. “In all my life, I’ve never experienced pain so severe since that day.”

Todoroki’s fists clenched, using every ounce of restraint in his body to keep from chasing after that son of a bitch right now. She needed him, though, and he knew that.

But Todoroki wanted him to suffer.

He hated his own father as a child, for what the man did to him and his mother, and the way he treated his work, but that…couldn’t even compare to this. This was unredeemable. Nothing that her sorry excuse for a father could do would ever make up for the pain he’d caused her.

“For a long time,” She continued after a lengthy silence, “I was stuck in that god-forsaken house. He switched me to home-schooling to reduce the risk of him being caught, and for a long time, he got away with it.

“When I was fifteen, some pros came around our house asking about suspicious activity. That was around the time that the league of villains activity was getting bad.

“My father was so standoffish toward them, acting all paranoid and suspicious, that they set up a stakeout for our house that night, hoping to witness something incriminating.” She let out a dry, sarcastic laugh. “They sure witnessed a hell of a lot that night, but it wasn’t what they’d been expecting at all.” She paused, thinking back.

“That night it was particularly bad.” There was a tremor in her voice as she recounted the memory. “My father thought that I had tipped them off, that I’d ‘betrayed him’ and ‘destroyed his trust in me.” The bitterness in her tone was palpable.

“By the time the heroes realized what was happening, most of the damage had been done already. I can’t say I blame them, though. After 7 years of torture already, I’d managed to train myself to stay quiet, for the most part.” She shuddered at her next words. “He enjoyed hearing me scream, loved it when I begged him to stop. So I made it a point not to give him the satisfaction.

“But that night, he pulled out all the stops. Made me scream louder and cry harder than I had in years.”

Todoroki began to tremble. A mixture of emotions was raging inside him, desperate to get out. But he wanted—no, he needed—to listen. For her.

As much as he knew that, he hated this. All those years she was in so much pain, and where was he? Living in a beautiful home, going to the nation’s top school, fulfilling his dreams, all while she was alone and afraid.

Sara looked down at Todoroki’s head as she felt something drip onto her shoulder, realizing with a start that he was crying…for her.

God, I love him so much.

She reached one arm around his back and entwined the other in his hair, hoping to give him some reassurance that she was, in fact, okay, even if she didn’t seem like it.

The second she touched him, he was moving, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her in as close as he possibly could. “I’m sorry,” he sobbed, the tears coming faster. “I’m so, so sorry.”

A sad smile stretched across her face, her bottom lip trembling as she tried not to cry, hiding her face in his neck. “Oh, Shoto…”

“Why…” His voice was raspy and weighed down by the guilt he felt. “Why didn’t you ever tell me…?”

This was a question Sara had been expecting. “I just wasn’t ready. To tell anyone.”

Todoroki hugged her tighter. “You mean this whole time…no one has known? You’ve had to go through this by yourself?”

She closed her eyes and breathed in his unique, citrusy scent of wintergreen and coriander. “Not completely. The heroes who rescued me made sure I was taken care of.”

Her voice grew soft. “I was in therapy and social readjustment classes until I was twenty-one, but these last few years, those memories haven’t bothered me much. I couldn’t even tell you the last time I thought about what happened.”

Todoroki was silent for a moment as he thought. “When you were twenty-one…three years ago, then. That wasn’t long after we met, was it?”

Sara smiled, humming in affirmation. “Mm, it was about six months after we met, a couple weeks before we got together. I actually…” Hesitation, and then, softer, “I actually stopped going because of you.”

The two-toned hero pulled back in surprise and confusion. “What? Don’t tell me you were ashamed of it, please, I never wanted you to feel that way.” His brows were knit with worry and the slightest bit of guilt.

The young woman let out a quiet but endearing laugh, shaking her head. “No, not at all, Shoto. It’s just that, after I met you, I felt like I no longer needed to.” An unconscious smile formed on her face as she reminisced. “I was at the point in my recovery where I wanted to put that part of my life behind me, for good.”

She placed a hand on his cheek and lifted his heterochromatic eyes to hers. “And with you, it was so easy to focus on the ‘here and now.’ It was so…refreshing. Even when childhood or parents were brought up, there wasn’t a single moment with you where I ever looked back on my past with fear and unease.”

Todoroki flinched, turning his gaze away. Sara noticed and hesitated before continuing. “After I met you I started looking at my childhood as a milestone. A trial that I survived and came out stronger than I was going in, and a necessary obstacle to become the person I am right now.”

She laughed dryly at her next words. “I stopped thinking about the bad parts of my childhood, because, believe it or not…” She smiled. “It wasn’t all bad. I still have quite a few fond memories, especially from my younger years.”

Todoroki tucked his face back into the crook of her neck, his words muffled by her skin. “You said…” He took in a deep breath of the lavender scent he loved so much. “…that you’ve never thought about the bad parts of your past when you’re with me, but last night…” His hold around her waist tightened as his brow furrowed in pain. “Last night I…reminded you of him, didn’t I?”

“...what?” Sara’s eyes widened as she realized that she’d failed to address the actual trigger of her trauma, and that he had interpreted it in the worst possible way. “Oh god, Sho…look at me.”

She got him to lift his head but he refused to meet her gaze, his face full of hurt and guilt. She sighed. “Shoto, not a single part of you, from here,—” She placed her fingertips against his face, tracing a path along his hairline, across his jaw, and down his neck before settling her hand over his heart. “—to here, has ever, ever, reminded me of him.”

Her hand and her gaze fell as she thought back to the events of the previous night. “It was just…what you said, at the exact moment that you said it…” Her voice shook with emotion. “That was coincidentally and eerily identical to the words he used to speak, right after he got started, nearly every single time.”

Todoroki’s brow drew together as he thought back to the previous night, the memories fresh in his mind. Based on the context she’d given, it didn’t take him long to identify the words she was referring to.

‘Just a little more…it’ll be over soon.’

“I’m so-“

Sara held up a hand to cut off his apology. It wasn’t his fault. “You couldn’t possibly have known, Shoto, you don’t have to apologize.”

She picked up his hand in hers and interlocked their fingers, a small but somewhat sad smile gracing her lips as she studied his troubled expression. “The way you said it wasn’t even remotely similar to the way he did, I just…” She struggled to put what she wanted to say into words. “I guess the circumstances and how utterly focused I was on every part of you made me hyper-aware of your words. Maybe it was my mind’s way of telling me I didn’t deserve to forget.”

She looked down in thought, shaking her head. That wasn’t right.

Just as Todoroki opened his mouth to refute her, she continued. “No…maybe it’s just that I shouldn’t forget, not that I don’t deserve to. You know the saying, ‘Those who don’t know history are destined to repeat it?’”

She let out a wry laugh. “Maybe my brain knows something I don’t and recalling that history is meant to help me somehow. Maybe I was overdue for a reminder.”

Her voice quieted, trembling slightly. “Maybe if I let myself forget about it, forget about him, he’ll come back to remind me, and…and history will repeat its-“

“Sara!” She startled at his sudden exclamation as he roughly grabbed her shoulders, staring down at her as he slid his hands to rest on either side of her neck, his thumbs caressing her jawline.

“Don’t—“ His voice broke. “Don’t say that. If forgetting about it lets you sleep easier at night, then forget. You don’t have to worry about the consequences, if there even were any.”

His gaze was intense, resolved, determined. “I will never let him hurt you again, I swear to you. As long as we’re together, he’ll never touch you.”

Her expression crumbled. “Shoto, you don’t—“ she took a deep breath to push down the fear and uncertainty clawing up her throat. “You don’t know that. He gets out next year, and you can’t promise that he won’t come after me once he—“

Todoroki cut her off, his blood simmering just below the surface. “He what? He gets out when?!”

Sara looked down, leaning forward to rest her head against his chest, the meaning of her own words sending chills down her spine. “I…I’ve been trying not to think about it. Every time I do, I feel so helpless…so scared. And I’m—“

A tear slipped down her cheek and onto Todoroki's bare skin. “I’m so tired of being scared all the time, but I don’t know what else to do!”

Her breath was picking up, and he knew she was on the verge of another panic attack. He pulled back.

“Hey, hey, hey, Sara…” He let his hand push through her hair, tilting her head back. “Sara, look at me.”

When she did, eyes burning with tears, he continued. “It’s impossible for history to repeat itself–it’s different now. Do you know why?”

She shook her head, her bottom lip trembling furiously, and then she froze.

Todoroki smiled often enough, but only a few times had she ever witnessed him smiling at her the way he was now.

It was soft, loving, and held exactly the reassurance she needed at that moment. She felt like nothing could touch her when he smiled at her like that.

He swiped his thumbs over her tear-stained cheeks, heart aching for her. For her pain, for her fear. “I wasn’t around to protect you back then, and for that I’m sorry. But I’m here now. Do you see?”

Her eyes widened and she felt as though a safety net had just been cast below the tightrope she’d been dancing on her whole life.

“We’re not talking about history here,” Todoroki said, his beautiful heterochromatic eyes shining with emotion that he rarely showed so much of. “We’re talking about the future, your future. And I’ll be in it for as long as you’ll let me.”

He placed a kiss on her forehead. “That’s why it’s different now, why history can never repeat.”

Sara looked down from her tightrope, and there he was—waiting for her, like he always had been. But she’d always been too afraid to look down, never noticing his outstretched arms in all this time.

She realized, with a sudden wave of clarity, that this man loved her. Really, truly loved her, despite her shortcomings, her imperfections. Despite her scars and all her broken edges.

And he always had.

He was her safety net.

Her eyes filled up with tears, years of residual fear and torment disappearing like a weight off her shoulders.

As she launched herself forward into his embrace, wrapping her arms around his neck, she imagined herself stepping off the rope—weightless, free, for just a moment—before landing safe and secure in his arms.

It was then she realized that she would gladly tie herself to him for the rest of eternity if it meant she could stay by his side. If she could love and be loved unconditionally, for the rest of her life.

She was a sobbing wreck in his arms by this point, but she squeezed the only audible words she could manage through her tears.

“I love you, Shoto Todoroki, and I think…” She threaded her fingers through the hair at the back of his head. “I think I always will. I love you so much I feel it all the way down in my toes every time I look at you.”

Todoroki laughed,—a heartwarming, melodic sound—wrapping his arms around her form and clutching her to his chest. His face buried into her neck as he began to rock them back and forth, unwilling to ever let her go again.

“I love you,” He began. “I love you so much that it hurts sometimes. When I’m away from you or when I see you in pain…”

His voice softened. “Never leave me.”

Sara pulled back, just far enough to lean her forehead against his. “I won’t.”

She pressed a short kiss to his lips with an easy laugh. “If I’m being honest, I don’t think I can at this point.”

Her mouth was mere centimeters from his, her warm breath teasing him as she spoke just above a whisper. “I passed the point of no return a long time ago, wouldn’t you agree?”

He breathed an impatient ‘yes’ before eagerly leaning forward and capturing her lips with his.

It wasn’t long before they were so tangled up in each other that it was impossible to tell where one ended and the other began.

And the rest, well…

…part 2?

[rainunseen]

5 Things (Hawks X OC One-Shot)

Word Count: 8,134

Angst/Fluff; minor references to sex; a bit of cussing

Hawks woke up to his phone ringing. He groaned, praying to god that it wasn’t five o’clock already, and rolled over to face the clock on his bedside table. His eyes narrowed at the bright red numbers, his mind trying to shake off enough of the sleep to comprehend the numbers on the clock before he sighed in relief, rolling back over to drift off into his previously not-so-peaceful sleep.  

Thank God, it’s only 1 o’clock. I’m not on call tonight. Everyone knows I’m not on call tonight, so it’s probably just a spam number.

The phone stopped ringing shortly after, and just as Hawks closed his eyes, it rang again. This time, he didn’t even bother checking. He simply readjusted his pillow so that it covered his ears and ignored it. It wasn’t until the third ring that, through his haze, he realized it was a section of a song that kept playing over again. A song that sounded familiar too… He removed the pillow from his head to listen closer.  

“I don’t care if I sing off key/I found myself and my melodies/I sing for love, I sing for me…”

Hawks smiled, fond of the memory that involved getting this clip. Akari had been singing in the shower in the locker room at the agency, and her voice had been so tentative, so melodic, and such a rare opportunity that Hawks had to get it on video. Her rendition was slower, softer, and every time he heard it, he thought of how vulnerable and sweet he had found her to be over their time together these last few months.  

He had set the audio clip as his ringtone soon after that, so now every time she called, he heard her voice before he even picked up the phone.

Wait…I set that song as Akari’s ringtone…

Hawks bolted up from the bed in realization, cursing himself for not paying attention sooner. Shit, shit, shit! She’s called me three times now, what if she’s in trouble?

He hastily scrambled to his dresser and grabbed the phone to pick up her call, but almost of its own will, his finger stopped just over the button that would allow him to hear her voice. The final ring sounded, and the phone stilled. Her contact name and picture flashed across the screen, blinked once, and disappeared.

He stared unseeingly at the device in his hands, before throwing it across the bed and dropping his head into his hands. He sat on the edge of his bed with his legs hanging over the side, wings drooping helplessly on the comforter, and his elbows resting on his knees. His fists were balled into his eyes as he tried to remain calm despite the emotions rising within him.

“Damnit. I couldn’t…I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t answer the damn phone.” The last things they had said to each other echoed through his mind.

“How could you ever expect me to have feelings for you? I hate you, Hawks. You are the most annoying, perverted, careless, cocky bastard I have ever met!” Akari yelled, furious.

(That was, in fact, not entirely true. The truth that Akari vehemently refused to admit was that she’d become quite fond of Hawks—you could even say that she’d developed feelings for him, but she’d never admit it.)

When Hawks had leaned in, truthfully she’d gotten scared, and now she was so flustered that she was saying a slew of things she didn’t mean in the slightest and defending herself in the only way she knew how.

Hawks threw his hands up in exasperation. Why the hell was she so pissed off? “Oh, well I’m sorry!” He yelled back sarcastically. “If I’d known that I was that unappealing to you, then I would never have entertained the idea! Or maybe, if you hadn’t been so obviously coming on to me the whole night, I never would have tried to kiss you! I would never have even thought about it!” He looked her dead the eyes, a smirk creeping onto his face as his entire demeanor changed in a split second. “Sorry babe, but I just couldn’t resist the idea of having you in my bed for the night.” Akari’s face, which had previously been flushed with anger, paled.  

All at once, the winged hero’s entire demeanor changed. His training with the HPSC had taught him a few things—including how to act and what to say to inflict the most pain on someone. And, although it was the last thing he wanted to do to her, it was always what he fell back on to defend himself when he’d accidentally exposed his true feelings.

Hawks took a few steps closer, close enough to grasp her chin between his thumb and forefinger, and leaned down to breathe in her scent, trailing his tongue along her skin before looking at her again. She shivered at the foreign feeling but was otherwise frozen in shock as he spoke his next words. Words he would regret seconds after them leaving his mouth. “I mean, you don’t seem like you’d be good for much else. The only thing you have going for you is your body and your looks, and I was just looking to have a little fun. Sex is a good stress reliever, you know?” He watched her eyes widen, as if she couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. Then, a chill ran down his spine. Her face had crumpled, her bottom lip quivering slightly, and a single, lonely tear escaped her eyes as she screwed them shut to avoid his gaze. His grip on her chin was tight, almost painful.

Hawks, his brain finally catching up with what he had just said, released her and staggered back a few steps. Managing to barely regain her composure, Akari walked over to his couch and snatched her purse from the cushion, pointedly avoiding Hawks’ gaze. She trekked swiftly to the door, yanked it open, and stopped. She then tilted her head to her left, her chin held high but her eyes glued to the floor, and said, “I’ll be transferring agencies over the weekend. My two-week notice will be handed in on Monday, and I will not be showing up at the office during that time.” She paused, turning her head away from him, before issuing her parting words. “And don’t ever contact me again.”  

With that, she stepped out the door. Hawks flinched as she slammed it behind her before the energy drained from his body and he collapsed in a heap of red feathers onto the wood flooring of his apartment. After her departure, the building was quiet. It was this deafening, overwhelming silence that caused sobs to begin to rack Hawks’ body as he looked back on everything he had just said…and everything he had just ruined.

“Oh god…what…what have I done?”

Hawks startled when his phone dinged with a new notification, the voice command feature announcing what it was.

“You have one unheard voicemail message from Songbird. Would you like to listen now, or do you want the message to be deleted?”

“…play it.”

The first thing Hawks heard was a loud, booming sound system playing incredibly obnoxious music that drowned nearly everything else out. Then he could hear what sounded like hundreds of voices cheering, laughing, singing, shouting. But he could not hear the one voice that he needed more than anything else at that moment. Hawks listened intently until he heard a door slam and then the music sounded more distant.

Then, finally, he heard the voice he was waiting for. He frowned as she began speaking–she sounded so tired, so lifeless.  

“Hawks?” A pause. “Oh, you didn’t answer again. Then…” There was a sniffle, accompanied by a small hiccup. “I guess I’ll just leave a voicemail.” He could hear her take a deep breath, before a whimper sounded over the speaker.

“Hawks…I…I’m really sorry. Please, I don’t wanna leave the agency. I don’t wanna leave you! I…Hawks, I…” She choked out a sob, and Hawks leapt up from his spot on the bed, stripping out of his clothes. He grabbed his flight uniform from his closest and dressed as fast as possible. Having abandoned his phone on the bed, he scooped it back up and was in the air before he had even cleared his window.  

She was crying now, on the other end of the line, and it was breaking his heart. He had to get to her. He had to make things right, tell her he hadn’t meant what he’d said. He didn’t know where he was going, but he could figure it out. There was loud music in the background, so checking the clubs first was a good place to start. He picked out the sounds of midnight traffic, more than there should have been for the hour, and changed course. She must have been somewhere downtown.

Hearing her cry, hearing her sound as though she were completely devoid of life, hearing the weakness in her voice when she had been so strong for as long as he’d known her. But what was worse…was that it was all because of him. And he hated himself for it.

Her voice softened, having managed to somewhat compose herself. “I…” Her voice broke with a whimper. “I need you, Hawks…please…”  

Hawks’ wings stalled and he lost about fifty feet of altitude before he was able to recover. What did she just say? Did she really…did she really just say what I think she said?

He shot out dozens of feathers to scope out the area, being sure that he wasn’t losing enough to slow him down too much. He was so desperate to find her now that it was physically painful. It felt like his chest was collapsing in on itself; his heart was beating so hard against his ribs that it felt as though the bones would break. He bit down on his cheek as he listened before he finally heard the familiar voice that he needed so badly—except this time, it wasn’t so emotionless. This time it was laced with panic. Hawks knew that Akari could take care of herself, but he also knew that she had a really hard time concentrating when she was intoxicated. And right now, he suspected that she had been drinking. A lot.

Hawks picked up speed as he heard Akari whimper. He was still a long way off. The feather he was using to listen in on what was happening was a good two miles away.

Since he could feel the same vibrations that his feathers could, he was able to determine how many people there were and how they were laid out—including where Akari was. There were three men standing in a circle, and one of them was holding a struggling female in a headlock—no, at knifepoint. They were in an alley a mile away now.

“…Hawks, please…” She pleaded, sounding breathless. The hero pushed himself to go even faster at the sound of her plea. She was calling for him, and he’d be damned if he was going to let anything happen to her.

“Awww, how cute!” Akari’s attacker—who Hawks instinctually dubbed the leader of the trio—mocked. “She’s calling out for a hero!” The two lackeys laughed at their boss’ words.

“Please, forgive me, Hawks…for what I said.”

She cried out in pain as the man wielding the knife pressed the blade into her neck, drawing blood. “Shut up, wench! Nobody gives a damn about you and your hero fantasy.”  

“Hawks…” She repeated meekly.

The man’s face flushed in rage and he abandoned the knife in favor of a headlock, seemingly drawing entertainment from watching her gasp for air. “I told you to shut up.” He growled.

Hawks was eight blocks away now.

Akari clawed at the man’s arm as her windpipe was crushed. “You know,” the man started, “I was gonna let Eric and Pip here have their turns with you first, but seeing you struggle to breath, I’m starting to reconsider.” The man smirked and leaned into her ear. “I love to break a woman’s spirit…”

“Hawks…I wanted it t—“ She was abruptly cut off as the man tightened his grip around her throat, and the men began to laugh at her.  

“Ha! Can you believe it? This chick is actually batshit crazy. She thinks the number three hero is gonna swoop down and save her.” One of the guys chimed in.

“Yeah, Pip, I think you’re right. She must be one of those obsessive psycho girls that falls in love with some famous celebrity they’ve never met!” Eric walked towards Akari, tracing a thumb over her bottom lip. She cringed and pulled away from his touch, to which he growled and pulled a hand back. The sound of his hand across her face echoed down the alley, and Hawks growled. Six blocks.

“Poor thing,” Eric cooed. “Now your pretty little lip is all busted up.”

“Hey Chuck,” Pip chimed in, giggling like a teenage schoolgirl. “Since she’s a yandere, do you think she could get Stockholm Syndrome?”

“Shut up, will you? Fucking idiot…” Chuck—the leader of the little band of assholes—said, sounding anxious. “Jeez, can’t this chick just pass out already? We need to get going.”

Akari was getting close, Hawks could tell. She wouldn’t last much longer. With the alcohol in her system, she couldn’t control her quirk very well. If she tried using it, she would probably end up killing the three men in front of her and any bystanders nearby.

Four blocks away and closing.

“Hawks…!” Out of desperation, she tried calling for him again. Although, in all honesty, she didn’t think he’d come even if he had listened to her voicemail. Not with how they left things off, and not if he meant what he said back there. She only carried on because she wanted the words to be spoken, to be heard by someone. It wasn’t a feeble attempt to call for a rescuer, it was just her way of doing the only thing she could to apologize for what had happened between them.

Chuck cackled, low and long, his breath fanning across Akari’s neck and causing her to shudder. “I would save my breath, girlie. Nobody’s coming to save you…”

Just two blocks left now.

Akari’s vision was blurring, and she was so dizzy it hurt. She knew she was fading fast, and that after she lost consciousness, they would drag her off and do what they wanted with her before anyone could find them.

At that moment Hawks flew around the corner and stopped, planting his feet firmly on the ground as his expression morphed from one of desperation to one that portrayed murderous intent at the sight before him. The gust of wind that accompanied the hero’s abrupt halt unbalanced Chuck and caused him to lose traction on his headlock, so Akari was able to suck in a single breath before he regained his grip. Eric and Pip faced Hawks, while the leader had his back to the No. 3 Hero. The blonde’s golden eyes flashed dangerously as he made eye contact with the men facing him, and they stumbled back, eyes wide and mouths dropped open. Chuck, on the other hand, was too stupid to realize that the sudden gust of wind was anything but that.

“Um, uh, b-b-boss…” Pip blundered, his mouth failing to properly convey what he was seeing.

Eric, who was significantly less incompetent, took over for the poor guy. “Boss…I think we should leave her be and get outta here.”

The leader laughed as Hawks continued to advance. “What? I thought you said you were looking forward to havin’ her warm your bed tonight! Didn’t you say the only thing she was good for was her body?”

Akari whimpered once more at the reminder, her heart clenching as she remembered the same words leaving Hawks’ mouth just hours before. The blonde hero’s face darkened even further as he continued stalking toward the group.

“Chuck, I’m not kidding man!” Eric yelled nervously, taking a few more steps back. “That chick…she’s not crazy.”  

“What? What are you talking about, her obsession with Hawks?” Poor Chuck didn’t notice the warm air that was now blowing across his neck as Hawks stood menacingly behind him. 

“Ha...haha…yeah. I think she really knows the guy.”

“Yeah, I think she knows him too.”

Akari froze, and Chuck pissed himself right there. He had never heard the No. 3 hero speak before, but he wasn’t that stupid.

Akari relaxed and let out a breathless laugh of relief, before straining her neck to look over Chuck’s shoulder at Hawks with eyes that showed just how exhausted she was. “Ha…hey birdy. I didn’t…I didn’t think you’d come.”

The winged hero’s expression softened as he studied her face. Her perfect, beautiful face. How could he have ever said those things to her? It was because he was so intently watching her that he noticed when her eyelids drooped and her knees started to shake, indicating that she was about to pass out.

Eric and Pip were long gone by then, and Chuck was so pale you could tell he was on death’s door. Hawks pulled back on the man’s shoulder, socked him straight in the face with as much energy as he could muster, and caught Akari as she lost consciousness.  

Hawks sank down to his knees with her in his arms, hugging her to his chest as tight as he could. He burrowed his face into the crook of her neck and breathed in, relishing the familiar scent of vanilla and strawberries he loved so much.  

However, he could also smell the alcohol on her, and decided that she was going to have one killer hangover the next day.

                                 :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Hawks landed on the balcony of his apartment, his feet barely audible on the wooden terrace. Walking over to his bed to place Akari on it, Hawks noticed that his clothes were still strewn all over the floor from when he was in a rush to change earlier. He sent some feathers out to take care of the mess, set Akari gently down on the comforter, and then looked over what she was wearing.  

“Hmmm, I’ll have to find you some suitable sleep clothes.” As Hawks turned to leave, Akari reached out and grabbed his hand.

Her eyes were open, but she looked as though keeping them that way was the hardest thing she had ever done. “Please…” She mumbled, her voice just above a whisper. “Please don’t go.”

“You know I’d love to stay Chicky, but there’s a few things I gotta set up first. When I’m done though, I’ll totally come join you.” Hawks winked and flashed his signature smile, prompting Akari to roll her eyes and resist the urge to smile herself.  

“Hawks—”  

“Akari.” The blonde interrupted her, his playful attitude gone without a trace. “Let me take care of you, please. I have to make it up to you.”

“No, you really don’t—" Akari tried again.

Hawks climbed over the top of her in bed and her face flushed the most brilliant shade of scarlet. The winged hero leaned down to the crook of her neck and exhaled, letting his breath fan over the bare skin of her collarbone. She shivered in response, and Hawks placed a gentle kiss on her neck before moving up to her ear. “I am going to get you a change of clothes. Then I am going to get a glass of water and some ibuprofen, both of which you will need in the morning. After that, if you still want me, I’ll come right back here and stay with you.”

“Hawks…” She breathed, putting a hand to his cheek and guiding his eyes to meet hers. “I’ll always want you.”

The hero’s face fell, his smirk disappearing, and he carefully got off the bed. Turning his back on her, Hawks swallowed the lump in his throat. His wings hung limp from his back, their tips brushing the floor, and Akari could tell that he regretted what he said.

Hawks left to the kitchen without another word, but stealthily slipped a feather over the woman’s chest. Her heartbeat…he wanted to listen while he was away from her. He also sent some feathers to search through his clothes for something suitable for her to wear, so by the time he came back with the medicine and the water all he had to do was change her clothes and then he could let her sleep.  

While he was gone, however, the feather over her heart picked up something that he would have preferred not to hear.  

It started with a sniffle, a soft fragile break in the steady rhythm, and then sobs were wracking her body, tearing her apart from the inside. The feather shifted as she rolled to her side, hiding her face in a pillow as a feeble attempt to muffle her grief. The hero’s heart shattered further with each cry. This was all his fault. He never should have said those things to her.

She may say that she’ll always want me…but I’ve hurt her now in a way that I can never take back. She’ll never be the same, not after what I said.  

Hawks stopped in the middle of the kitchen and crouched where he was, wrapping his wings around himself and clamping his hands over his ears. He couldn’t stand this. He couldn’t stand knowing that she was crying in the dark in the next room because of him. And she was alone, because there was nothing he could do for her. He had no right to comfort her after it was him that hurt her in the first place.

Hawks was so caught up in thought that he didn’t notice when the sniffling died down, when the bed shifted, or when soft footfalls began padding toward him.

The footsteps hesitated, and then a sigh sounded from the door to his bedroom as Akari presumably saw the position he was in. A hand came to rest on the crown of his head, running softly through his hair. “Hawks…” Her voice was soft, gentle, and wavering. She conveyed through his name everything she was feeling at that moment. Pain, sadness, betrayal… She was showing him how vulnerable she was, and she was trusting him. Trusting that he wouldn’t take advantage of that. She took a deep breath, then continued. “Don’t do this to yourself.”

He let out a dry laugh. “Don’t do this to myself? If anyone else had said to you what I did, then I would have killed them. That doesn’t change just because it was me.”

“I know you didn’t mean it, Hawks. And I also know you’re never going to forgive yourself for this.”

Hawks scoffed and got to his feet, turning to face her. His eyes were so intense Akari felt as though she might be burned alive. “How could I?!” He gestured wildly to the bedroom. “You’re crying in there because of me! Because of what I said to you!” His voice softened, and his eyes fixated on the floor. “I’ve hurt you in a way I can never take back, Akari, how can you forgive me so easily?”

“…I don’t.”

Hawks looked up sharply. “What?”

Akari turned away from him. “I don’t forgive you…I can’t. Not yet.”

His brows furrowed, betraying his confusion. She doesn’t forgive me…okay, that’s understandable. Then why isn’t she mad? “But…you’re not mad…”

“I was never mad at you, Hawks. I was just…hurt. I’m still hurt. But I could never…I could never be mad at you.” She looked up at him with eyes that pleaded with him to understand. “Did you…did you listen to my message?”

The winged hero’s eyes widened as he remembered the last thing she had said in the voicemail.  “…yes, I did.”

Her face flushed. “So you heard what I told you.”

“Yes.” He breathed.

She turned her back to him now, crossing her arms over her chest to put some constrictive pressure on her beating heart.

“Did you mean it?” It was a simple question. Yes or no. That’s all he needed.

Unfortunately for Akari, she wasn’t a giggly drunk, or a crazy one…but she was brutally honest. “I…yes.”

Hawks growled. “Look at me, Akari.” He needed to be sure. He needed to see her face when she gave her answer.

She shook her head stubbornly, like a child would when they’re told to hand over a toy.  

“Akari…” Hawks wheeled around to her front and grabbed her by the arms. He shook her once. “Look at me.”

Still, she refused, so Hawks moved his hands to her face and cupped it gently, lifting her to face to his. She screwed her eyes shut.

Hawks whimpered. It was physically painful for him. He needed her to look him in the eyes and tell him that she meant it. “Akari…please, look at me. I need to be sure…”

Finally, she opened her eyes just the tiniest bit, and that was all it took. Her heart skipped a beat and she inhaled sharply when she caught the look on his face, the indescribable need that pulsed through his golden orbs. She knew now that she couldn’t have looked away even if she wanted to.  

His eyes searched hers for the answer as he repeated the question. “Did you mean it?”

She let out a heavy breath. “With every atom of my being.”

There it was. The answer he so desperately needed to hear from her. His eyes softened as he gazed at her. He studied every plane of her face, every freckle. He memorized it all. He wanted to remember every detail of this moment.

Akari leaned up toward him, watching him carefully. She saw when his eyebrows furrowed and she saw the moment he decided for himself that he couldn’t do it. He reminded himself of the way she had reacted earlier that night when he’d tried to kiss her. She’d been sober then, but now she was drunk. And, he realized, she was drunk when she left that voicemail. He turned his head away from her, his eyes downcast.  

He didn’t know she was an honest drunk, so he didn’t know that everything coming out of her mouth was truer than anything she’d told him up until that point.

The woman’s face fell from the rejection and she clutched the front of his flight jacket between her hands, burying her face in it. She whimpered. She wanted it too. She needed it—just as much as he did.

“Hawks, please…” She begged.

“Akari,” Hawks was trying so hard. He was trying to restrain himself, but if she begged him like that again he wouldn’t be able to. “You’re drunk.”

“Is that really what’s stopping you? Or is it my reaction from earlier?” She said, lifting her head and staring him down. She didn’t need a verbal response; she already knew the answer.

“Hawks, I…I was scared, okay?” She averted her gaze from his at this admittance, and Hawks furrowed his brow.  

“What do you m—”

“I was scared of getting close to you. There…there are things about me, parts of my life that I’d prefer to keep you out of. Getting involved with you will put you in danger, and I didn’t want that. But…I can’t…I can’t not be with you. I can’t stay away from you anymore. I…I need you, Hawks. So please—”

Hearing her say that again, but this time with her right in front of him, he couldn’t hold back. He took hold of her chin and turned her face to his, leaning down to let his lips brush against hers.

“If it’s putting me in danger that you’re worried about…” He whispered huskily against her skin, “Then I’m insulted by your lack of faith. Let me decide what I can and can’t handle.”

Akari let out a breathy laugh, her eyes locked on Hawks’ lips. “Okay.”

The release of tension between them as their lips met was like being freed from years of captivity, and for a moment, it felt as though nothing was wrong. Like nothing bad had happened between them. Maybe it was because of how right it felt, or maybe they were both too caught up in each other to care about anything else.  

It started gentle, like they were testing the waters. They dipped their toes just beneath the surface to make sure the water wasn’t cold…and then jumped straight in. Hawks moved his hands from her face to loop around her waist and pull her closer to him as he basked in an indescribable feeling. It was the kind of feeling that nothing else could ever compare to. The kind of rush that no thrill seeker had ever found, and the kind of high that every drug addict could only ever dream of. It was something he’d never experienced in his life.  

Akari sighed into the kiss, reveling in the feeling of his lips on hers, of his hands around her waist, pulling her closer just when she thought there was no more space left between them. She threw her arms around his neck to tangle her fingers in his hair, her body melting into his embrace to mold perfectly against him.

The longer they kissed, the more they wanted. Hawks pushed his mouth further against hers and Akari flinched, pulling away and muttering a curse under her breath. She lifted a hand to her mouth and traced a finger across her bottom lip, wincing again when she pushed too hard.  

Hawks immediately went into panic mode. “What is it? Did I do something wrong? Are you—”

“Hawks,” she interrupted, stepping back from him. She pulled her hand slightly away from her mouth and looked at it, her eyes flashing with realization. “I’m fine, just…give me a sec.”

She walked around him and went into his room, keeping her hand over her mouth. Hawks followed right behind her as she then moved to the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror. Leaning forward, she removed her hand and cursed.

“Fucking hell, I can’t even kiss you right because of that jackass.” She reached into the open closet and grabbed a towel, dabbing it on her busted and swollen lip.

Hawks stood behind her, his eyes narrowing at the sight of her face in the mirror. “That’s right, that son of a bitch slapped you.” His expression darkened. “I shouldn’t have let him go.”

“It’s fine, Hawks. It’s not a big deal.” As she finished cleaning up her lip, she noticed something else. Tilting her chin up to reveal her neck, she got a better look at the shallow three-inch-long cut across her throat.  

The two hero’s gazes met in the mirror and Hawks nodded. “I’ll get the first aid kit.” When he returned from his adventure through the cluttered closet space in his bedroom, he set a small white box on the lavatory and opened it up to reveal a bunch of unorganized medical materials. Being used to fixing himself up a few days a week after work, he picked out the materials he’d need.  

He ripped open a pack of antibiotic wipes and put a finger beneath her chin to lift her head and get a better look at the wound. “This might sting.” Without much hesitation, he pressed the wipe to her neck and the woman hissed.  

“Sorry,” Although he had apologized, he had a smirk plastered onto his face. Akari chuckled.

“Sure you are, you sadist.” She rolled her eyes as he smothered a laugh and reached to the counter to retrieve a tube of ointment and a gauze pad. Within seconds, his nimble fingers had applied the ointment to the pad and began centering it on her cut. Akari’s breath hitched as his fingers ghosted over the skin of her neck, and a small, pleasurable shiver ran through her body at his electric touch. The winged hero’s lips curled up into a proud grin as he felt the goosebumps rise across her skin.

“Don’t move your head.” He said simply, redirecting his attention to her busted lip as he reached into the closet to retrieve a small washcloth. He soaked it under cold water for a few seconds before returning to her face, pressing the rag gently but firmly against her mouth. While the younger of the two waited for him to finish up, she studied his face.  

Hawks’ eyes were focused solely on her lips while he checked repeatedly to see if the bleeding had stopped. The way his eyebrows were drawn in ever so slightly as he concentrated on her injury, the way his golden eyes reflected the light in the room, the way his pupils dilated or contracted every time he shifted his head, the way his wings fluttered whenever he noticed something, or the way they stayed absolutely still when he was concentrated on something. She admired the small marks at the corners of his eyes, and how his hair was always swept back from the wind.  

She didn’t notice when he removed the towel from her face, or when he opened a new pack of antibacterial wipes. And this time when he pressed the pad to her lip, she didn’t feel the sting. Her mind was too preoccupied to register any pain.

She smiled softly at the week-old stubble that shadowed his chin and had to physically restrain herself from reaching up and running her fingers over it.

Her eyes came back to his only to see he was already staring at her. She averted her gaze and her cheeks flushed, but she stayed still; she wasn’t sure if he was finished yet.  

A gentle smile graced his features as he watched her face heat up. “What are you smiling about?” He asked teasingly.

Assuming he was done, she shook her head. “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

“You should smile more often.” He said, reaching up and caressing her cheek with his thumb.  

She sighed, closing her eyes and leaning into his touch. “What are you talking about? I smile all the time.”

Hawks shook his head. “Not like that.”

Her eyes opened again and she looked at him, her voice quieter. “What do you mean?” She thought she knew…but she wanted to hear him say it.

“I’ve never seen you smile at me like that. Gentle, soft, affectionate. Like you’re looking at something very precious to you.” Their gazes were locked, and they each felt the tension building between them again.

“You…you are precious to me, Hawks.” Her face didn’t flush, her eyes didn’t leave his, and her tone was serious, unwavering. That admittance was not something she was ashamed of or embarrassed by, but rather something she was proud of.

The winged hero’s heart soared as he realized this, and such a bright, cheerful smile fell onto his face that Akari was momentarily entranced.

Placing his hands over her hips and dragging her toward him, he buried his face in her neck and took a long, refreshing breath, that strawberry-vanilla scent once again filling his head. He wrapped his wings around them and snaked his hands up her back to pull her into a tighter hug, pressing a smile against her skin. Her hands lay flat against his chest, and she leaned her head into his shoulder, enjoying their quiet embrace.

They stayed like that for a while, bathing in each other’s warmth. Eventually, Hawks pulled back to look at her. “Can I kiss you again?” He asked quietly. His eyes were calm, soft. He was more relaxed than Akari had ever seen him.

Her lips curled up into a smile so tender that Hawks couldn’t take his eyes away from it. “You don’t have to ask, Hawks.”

He smiled, but it was full of sadness. “I’m always going to ask. I won’t ever risk what happened today happening again.”

Without another second of delay, Hawks leaned down to press his lips against hers for the second time that night. And for the second time, it was the most amazing thing he’d ever felt in his life. He was careful not to push too hard, aware now of her busted lip, but he couldn’t help wanting to deepen the kiss.  

Luckily for him, Akari was not so concerned about her injury, and she wove her hands into his hair to pull him closer to her. Hawks smiled onto her lips at her eagerness, glad that he wasn’t the only one excited about this. He ran his tongue gently across her bottom lip and she sighed into the kiss, relaxing further into his embrace.  

When they pulled away, their faces were flushed and they were breathing in short, heavy spurts. Hawks leaned his forehead against hers, eyes closed, and simply enjoyed their closeness. His hands had found their way onto her hips at some point, but he had been too caught up in her to pay any mind what the rest of his body had been doing.

Akari shifted so that she could nuzzle her face in the older hero’s neck, keeping her eyes closed and breathing in his scent. He smelled like fresh citrus, light and airy, and she would never get enough of that smell.  

As Hawks repositioned himself to accept her embrace, he felt her weight slowly shifting onto him, and he smiled.

She must be exhausted…

“Akari…” He whispered. “Are you ready to go to bed?”

“Hmmm…that sounds nice…” She mumbled, her voice muffled by his skin.

Hawks chuckled, dipping down to slip a hand beneath her knees as she let the rest of her weight fall on to him. He cradled her head against his chest, watching as a small, lazy smile made its way onto her lips as he carried her out of the bathroom to his bed.  

After laying her down on top of the comforter, he spotted the clothes he had picked out for her to sleep in draped over the headboard.

“Here,” He reached over and grabbed them, offering them to her. “Put these on.”

She shook her head and whined, rolling onto her side to turn her back to him. “I’m too tired…” She grumbled sleepily.

“Chicky, you’re wearing a black cocktail dress that reeks of alcohol. You need to change.” Hawks stated simply.

She turned to face him with a challenge in her eyes. “If you want me in different clothes, then make it happen.”

Hawks’ face heated and turned a lovely shade of pink at the insinuation, but he quickly schooled his expression into one that said he would be more than happy to do just that. “Okie dokie, Chickadee! Just remember,” His eyes flashed and a sadistic grin replaced his previously innocent smile. “…you asked for it.”

Her eyes widened in alarm, and then narrowed in confusion as he sharply turned to face away from her. “What…what are you doing, Hawks?”

“You’ll see~!”  

All of sudden, Akari was sitting upright in bed and her dress was being tugged off, but Hawks was still turned around, humming a little tune.  

Within seconds, she was left in her undergarments and an oversized shirt was being forced over her head. Then, she burst out laughing and started squirming around on the bed.

“Ha…Hawks! Stop it!” She giggled and squealed as the winged hero’s feathers tickled her in the process of dressing her. “No, no! Hawks!” She groaned.

Meanwhile, Hawks was turned away from her and trying to concentrate on keeping his face at its normal color.

“Wait, no! I don’t wanna wear basketball shorts!” Akari yelled, trying to prevent Hawks’ feathers from putting them on.

The blonde turned around to address the issue and saw that she was sitting with her knees tucked beneath her, her hands gripping the hem of the shirt she was now wearing. Her face was as red as a tomato, and she stared at the comforter in what seemed to be embarrassment.

Hawks had the sudden urge to let go of all the self-imposed restraints he had been using to contain himself the whole night.

She looked as though she was a teenager confessing to her long-time crush. Or like the guy she’d fallen in love with had just seen her naked for the first time. She was so anxious, so…adorable. Either way, Hawks was struggling to keep his feet planted firmly where they were.  

“I…I don’t normally…wear…pants…” She confessed. Her shoulders scrunched inward and, though it seemed impossible, her face reddened even further.

Hawks stared at her, dumbfounded. Does she mean to sleep? Or…not at all?  

Her eyes widened as she seemed to realize how that statement could be misinterpreted. “To sleep!” She shouted anxiously. “I mean I don’t usually wear pants to sleep…”

The winged hero strode to the edge of the bed, placed his hands on either side of her face, and brought her eyes to meet his. He searched her vermillion orbs for just a second to make sure she was okay with this, and the moment he got her consent, he pressed his lips to hers with fervor that momentarily surprised Akari. She had never felt such intensity from a kiss before.  

He was kissing her like he desperately needed it, like he would die if he didn’t.

She released the hem of her shirt in favor of grabbing onto his as she eagerly responded.

Hawks was losing himself in her. He couldn’t help it. He was entranced by everything about her, everything she did. At this moment in time, he was so wrapped up in her that he wouldn’t have cared if she was a villain, for Christ’s sake. He would still be kissing her.

He grabbed onto her hips and pushed her down onto the bed, placing a knee between her legs. Their lips never separated even as he did this, too focused on her and nothing but her to care whether he could breathe or not. She dipped her hands beneath his shirt and he shivered at her touch.  

God, the things she could do to him.

His feathers rippled above them, catching Akari’s attention, and she slid her hands up his back to caress the base of his wings. His eyes widened and his whole body quivered violently as he moaned into their kiss. At that point, he had to pull away.

“Fuck…” He breathed, lifting his head to get a better look at her face. Her expression was one of shock and awe; it didn’t seem that she had expected that kind of reaction from him either. “What the hell did you do to me, Chicky?”

She laughed, the sound mesmerizing the man above her. “What do you mean? I just touched you.”

“Akari, that….that was single most amazing thing I’ve ever felt in my life. No one’s ever done that to me before.”

“What, this?” She asked innocently, circling her fingers around the base of his wings again. This time when she touched him, he shuddered and collapsed on top of her, his face nuzzling into her neck.  

“Yes, exactly that…” He whispered, placing a kiss on her collarbone. She removed her hands from beneath his shirt and instead wove them into his hair, gently running her fingers through it.  

They stayed like that for a while, with Hawks pressing the occasional kiss to her neck. However, when Akari yawned, Hawks decided it was time for him to let her get some rest.  

He sat up to get one last look at her for the night before he carefully scooted to the other side of the bed. Just as his feet hit the floor he felt a hand grab his wing, and he cringed. Not in pain or discomfort, but rather at the fact he had been caught.

Her voice was stern. “Now just where do you think you’re going?”

He turned to face her, shaking her hand off his wing, and saw the way her eyes were begging him to stay. “Akari, you really need to get some sleep.”

“Yeah, and?” She challenged. “What does that have to do with where you’re going?”

Hawks sighed and rolled his eyes. “I was going to the living room, okay?”

Her eyes narrowed. “To do what, exactly?”

“Sleep, what else?”

“No, you’re going to sleep in your bed.”

“Akari—”

“Hawks,” She sat up and grabbed his hand, tugging him toward her. “I want you to stay.”

He tried, he really did. “I don’t think that’s a good idea—”

“Why not?” She questioned. The look in her eyes was daring him to say it.

He gave her a skeptical look. “I think you know exactly why, Chicky.” He leaned into her ear, exhaling down her neck and sending a pleasant shiver down her spine. “If I lay next to you the whole night, I can’t promise that I’ll be able to contain myself.”

Her face reddened. She’d known what he was trying to say before, but hearing him say it so bluntly made it much easier to picture.  

Nevertheless, she forced the blood to leave her face, grabbed his chin, and looked him straight in the eye. “Then don’t.”

This time, it was his turn, his face turning a brilliant vermillion shade of red. He averted his gaze from hers. “Alright, fine. You win. I’ll…I’ll stay.”

Akari smirked. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Hawks scoffed, wrapping an arm around her waist and drawing her back against his chest as he laid down. “Of course you wouldn’t.”

The woman in the Number 3 Hero’s arms sighed in contentment, a small, gentle smile gracing her lips as she snuggled as far as she could into Hawks’ chest.

The winged hero couldn’t help his own smile. He’d wanted this for so long. He’d dreamed of holding her in his arms just like this a thousand times before.

Just as Hawks was drifting off, Akari opened her eyes and spoke. “Hawks…”  

At the sound of his name spoken in such a way, his eyes shot open. Her voice was quiet, her tone solemn, and he would even say that it sounded like she was about to cry.

“Akari…? What’s wrong?”

“Hawks…I’m a very honest drunk, so…whatever I’ve said to you tonight was the absolute truth.”  

The blonde’s brow furrowed. Isn’t that a good thing? Then why does she sound so sad?

“But…” She continued, her voice wavering slightly. “I’m also a very…forgetful drunk, and I often don’t remember anything from a time when I was intoxicated.” She paused. “If I…if I don’t remember any of this, Hawks…” She shifted in his arms to face him, and his heart stopped at the look in her eyes. “Promise me…promise that you won’t let me forget. Because I…” She buried her face in his chest as she started to cry. “I don’t want to forget this…so please, Hawks. Make me remember…”

Hawks tightened his arms around the woman now crying into his shirt and pressed a kiss onto her head. “I will…I promise.”

There were a thousand other things he could have said, but he didn’t. Each of them would have been reassuring, each of them would have been one-hundred percent true…but each of them would have been meaningless in the end.  

As much as he cared for her, he knew that if she forgot all of this, he wouldn’t be able to make her remember. He knew her well enough to know that when’s she sober, she’s stubborn, closed off…and most of all, protective. Her earlier words echoed in his head.

“I was scared of getting close to you. There…there are things about me, parts of my life that I’d prefer to keep you out of. Getting involved with you will put you in danger, and I didn’t want that. But…I can’t…I can’t not be with you. I can’t stay away from you anymore. I…I need you, Hawks. So please—”

If that was true, and she had really been keeping her distance all this time to keep him safe…then that wasn’t going to change. If he tried to talk to her about it, she would bolt, or worse, respond like she had earlier that night. And Hawks had already sworn to himself that he would never put either of them in that position again.  

Long after Akari had cried herself to sleep, Hawks was still awake. Her words were playing in his head over and over again. He had to know what it all meant.

“I don’t wanna leave the agency. I don’t wanna leave you!”

“If I…if I don’t remember any of this, Hawks…”

“Don’t do this to yourself.”

“Promise that you won’t let me forget.”

“Getting involved with you will put you in danger…”

“Because I…I don’t want to forget this…”

“There…there are things about me, parts of my life that I’d prefer to keep you out of.”

“I need you, Hawks…please…”

As he lay awake that night, cradling his cherished sidekick in a loving embrace, Keigo Takami came to terms with five things:

Akari Hitomi was not going to remember what happened between them.  

He would not be successful in any attempts to make her remember.

Everything would go back to how it was before she went out and got drunk.

Nothing would change.

And everything that happened between them, every part of that night that made it the best night of his life…meant absolutely nothing in the end.

But, as pointless as it was…he was gonna try anyway.