Troubled Past (Todoroki X OC)
Warnings: HEAVY themes of sexual abuse of a CHILD, DNI if that topic makes you uncomfortable PLEASE. Crying, Self-harm, non-descriptive unfinished sex, sexual references but I definitely wouldn't call it smut, I think that's the big stuff but let me know if I missed some of it. Neither the sex nor the abuse is very lewd or descriptive.
Character: Shoto Todoroki (MHA)
Sara gasped as her back slammed against the front door to Todorokiâs apartment the second theyâd made it in, his fingers immediately finding and deftly unhooking the buttons down the front of her shirt. He pulled the material off her arms as he ducked his head to her neck, leaving marks and kisses in his wake. Once the shirt was gone, his hands eagerly moved to the button of her jeans.
Sara chuckled, placing a hand over the one fiddling with her pants. âNot so fast, Hotshot. Surely you can wait until we get to the bedroom?â
Todoroki leveled a dark look at her, his eyes shining with desire and lust, causing Saraâs breath to catch in her throat. âNot a chance.â
The heat settling in her stomach flared at that look in his eyes, her desire conflicting with the words sheâd just spoken as she roughly grabbed a handful of his t-shirt to bring him in for a hot kiss.
Without warning, an arm swept below her knees and she yelped, throwing her arms around Todorokiâs neck in response, before letting out an endearing laugh that had the hero smiling at the sound.
From there, sheâs not really sure what happened to either of their clothes. Between Todorokiâs distracting touch and him being just too good with his hands, they were both naked and in bed in no time.
A hand caressed Saraâs cheek as she lay beneath him, slowly moving down to her shoulder and oh-so-softly tracing a line down her side before gripping the back of her thigh and lifting it to wrap around his waist.
Todoroki leaned down to capture her lips in a kiss, but it was different from earlier. Slow, softâŠloving. Now that he had her here, beneath him, he wanted to take his time and show her just how much she meant to him. He wasnât in a rush.
One of her hands crept up to thread itself into his two-toned hair while the other gripped desperately onto his shoulder, a whimper escaping her mouth.
Todoroki pulled back from their kiss to gaze down at her with a smirk. âWhoâs the eager one now, hmm?â
She opened her eyes, and the look of pure desperation, need, and want in her gaze made his breath catch. âPlease,â she breathed, her hand falling from his hair to rest on his other shoulder. âI want you, Shoto.â
His eyes widened at her use of his name. He heard it every day since it was his hero name, but hearing her say it nowâŠhe couldn't wait any longer.
He leaned down to her ear, his hot breath fanning across her neck and sending pleasant shivers down her spine. âHow could I ever say no to you when you look at me like that?â With those words, he slowly began to push himself into her and heard her gasp, clutching him tighter. He groaned at the feeling of her walls around him, easing himself further into her.
When something wet touched the side of his face pressed to her neck, he sat up with a start to find tears slipping from her closed eyes. âOh, SaraâŠâ His expression softened and he leaned down to kiss the corners of her eyes. âI know it hurts, Iâm sorry.â
The womanâs eyes opened slightly, but he saw no pain in her gorgeous ice-blue irisesâonly an overwhelming adoration for the hero she set her gaze upon. âItâs okay, Sho. I can handle more than you give me credit for.â
Todoroki chuckled, sifting a hand through the long rose brown hair that splashed onto the pillow beneath her head. âI think youâre plenty capable, SaraâI just wanna make sure youâre as comfortable as possible. Iâd hate for our first time to be a bad experience for you.â
âI appreciate your concern, but really, Iâmââ She gasped when he shifted ever so slightly inside her, her last word losing its potency. ââfine.â
She shuddered with pleasure and anticipation. âJesus, Sho, keep going. Youâre killing me with the suspense here.â
The hero smiled, settling his head beside hers again. âIf you insist.â
He pushed further inside herâhe was almost all the way, nowâand the woman beneath him cried out and began trembling, burying her face in the crook of his neck.
Todoroki slowed his movement a bit, hating to hear her in pain, and placed a kiss on her collarbone. âJust a little moreâŠitâll be over soon.â
Suddenly, he felt the womanâs entire body tense and her breath stopped completely. Her grip on him tightened even further, her nails sinking into his skin so far it drew blood, and he winced, pulling back in confusion at the sudden change in her body language.
âSara? Whatâsââ He stopped dead when he saw her expression. Her eyes were wild with pure, unadulterated fear, looking up at him as though he wasâŠa monster.
Her body began to shake violently, but this time it wasnât out of pain or pleasure. She wasâŠterrified, to say the least. And he had no idea what was wrong. Had he done something to upset her? Had she not wanted this, after all?
Sara gazed up at him in horror, memories clouding her vision and altering her reality as the past came crashing down on her in that one, single moment. In her eyes, she was no longer looking at Shoto Todoroki. Rather, she was lying beneath a monster.
A monster that had tormented her for yearsâone who used to speak those same words to her with no remorse as he used her however he pleased.
She snatched her hands away from his shoulders, pressing against his chest and forcefully pushing him up, off, and out of her in one fell swoop.
Her shaking fingers grabbed the sheets and clutched them to her chest as she began to hyperventilate, her lower lip trembling from the panic enveloping her body.
Then, almost as quickly as sheâd reacted, she realized her mind was playing tricks on her. The hero before her was nothing like the dark figure of her past, and she almost couldnât believe sheâd really thought they were the same person, even if only for a moment. She wrapped her arms around her middle as guilt and regret settled over her.
Sara looked up at him, pale blue meeting blue-grey, and her heart clenched in both pain and relief. Relief because Shoto was there, right in front of her, and pain because of the concern etched across his face and the utter helplessness in his expression. He had been forced to watch as the woman he loved was torn apart by an enemy he didnât even know how to approach.
She closed her eyes tightly. HowâŠhow could I ever confuse the two? How could I ever mistake such a kind, compassionate man for that monster? Her arms tightened around herself, nails digging into her sides. Is thisâŠhow itâll always be? Will I never be able to love him how I want to, how he deserves, because of the things I went through back then?
Her body still shook with fear, but no longer of him. There was something he couldnât see, something deep within her, that had reared its ugly head. And she tried, desperately, to push it back down to the depths of her mind, where it had been locked away for years.
Todoroki could see in her eyes that she was fighting, but as she leaned into his arms, shaking violently and letting out desperate, fearful whimpers, he could feel she was losing. He didnât know what to do or how to help as the love of his life shattered to pieces in his arms.
âIâm sorryâŠâ He heard her whisper, clutching onto his arm. âIâm sorry, Iâm so sorry, ShotoâŠââ
Todoroki wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly to his chest, letting her head rest on his shoulder as she started to cry, an endless string of apologies leaving her lips. He pressed his face against her hair, eyes tightly closed and brows furrowed in pain as he listened to her break apart.
He wasnât exactly sure what she was apologizing for. I guess she feels bad forâŠruining the mood? His arms tightened around her as he thought. No, it has to be something else. She knows she would never have to apologize for that when sheâs so obviously terrified of something.
Todoroki worried about the origins of her apology. The way her voice cracked with such overwhelming guilt suggested there was another reason. Was itâŠsomething she saw? Did it have anything to do with the way she looked at him?
He couldnât be sure without more information, but one thing was for certainâheâd never, ever, seen her like this. He couldnât imagine what could have caused it either, but her heartbreaking cries were debilitating for him. He began to rock her back and forth in his arms, softly stroking her hair and whispering reassurance in her ear. âIâve got you, Sara, youâre okay.â
Her grip on him tightened as she pressed herself as far against him as she could. His name left her lips in a quiet whimper.
âIâm right here, angel. Iâm not going anywhere.â He assured, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
After a while, when her sobs had died down to quiet sniffles, Todoroki pulled back so he could look at her. âSaraâŠâ He cupped her face in both hands and lifted her eyes to his. âSara, look at me.â
He brushed a stray strand of rose-brown hair from her face, his gaze softening as he examined her broken expression. âI donât know what happened, or what you saw, but this is not your fault. Do you hear me? You have nothing to be sorry for.â
A single tear slipped down her cheek as she gazed up at him. His heterochromatic eyes showed nothing but love and concern for her, his face drawn with worry. Lifting a hand up, she brushed a few unkempt locks of red hair from his face and wondered what on earth she did to deserve a man as understanding and caring as he was. Someone who comforted her and assured her without question, and loved her unconditionally.
Her eyelids drooped from exhaustion, and she thought, surely, she must be dreaming. The man sitting before her, holding her, loving herâŠ
Todoroki saw her fatigue and gathered her back into his arms, resting his cheek on the top of her head as she leaned against him. âSleep now, my love.â
As she drifted off, the dual-toned hero gently laid her down, pulled the covers over them both, and drew her back against his chest, nestling his face in her neck. âI love you, Sara, more than anything.â
Todoroki lay awake beside her for a while, uneasiness writhing in the pit of his stomach. He worried about the way sheâd reacted to him, but even moreâŠhe worried about what could possibly have caused such a reaction.
The heady scent of lavender that radiated from the woman in his arms lulled him, and before long, he fell asleep alongside her.
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The first time it happened, Sara barely knew what was going on. Sheâd been instructed to lie down on her bed, close her eyes, and be still. She remembered having a pink dress on, socks, no shoes. Her arms were resting comfortably at her sides on top of her lilac bedspread.
âDaddy, what are you doing?â She giggled a bit, expecting some sort of gift or surprise, resisting the urge to squirm around in excitement.
She heard her father chuckle from across the room, the sound of clothes rustling and a belt clinking adding to her confusion. âJust a moment, sweetheart, Iâll get to you in a second.â
Sara bounced her small feet on the bed a few times in impatience. âHurry up, Daddy, I wanna know what the surprise is!â
She felt the bed shift as her father climbed onto it, hovering over her petite form. Heâd wanted this for so longâhis cute little daughter laid out before him, vulnerable to his every desireâbut he knew that she was too young before. Now, she was mature enough to understand that no one could know about this if thatâs what he told her, but not quite old enough to know how wrong this truly was.
He hoped she would enjoy itâalas, the experience would be that much sweeterâbut it was ok if she didnât. After all, this wouldnât be happening if he really cared how she felt.
âAlright, darling, you can open our eyes now.â
Riddled with excitement, the little girlâs eyes snapped open immediately, only for her red irises to fill with confusion as she took in her father in all his naked glory.
Her face grew pale as her instincts told her to run, told her that whatever was coming would not be good for her. âD-daddy? WhatâŠwhatâs going on? What are you doing?â
A crooked, malicious smile stretched across his face as his hands found the fabric of her underwear and pulled them down and off her legs. âI wouldnât worry too much about that, just focus on being a good girl for Daddy, okay?â
âWaitâDaddy! Youâre not supposed to touch that!â Her feeble hands desperately tried to push his hardened ones away as fear curdled her stomach. This is not right. This is not supposed to happen! I have to get away from this!
But there was no chance for her. He was nearly three times her size, while she was barely sixty pounds. He locked both hands above her head with minimal effort, lifting her dress above her stomach with his free hand. He didnât have to worry about her screamsâheâd planned for that. There was a reason heâd moved them out to the country last year.
His grip on her wrists was tight, and she grit her teeth at the pain. âDaddy, please, youâre hurting me!â
He simply laughed at her. âOh, my sweet, darling child, if you think this hurtsââ He gave her wrists a rough squeeze, and she yelped, âthen youâve no idea whatâs in store for you today.â
She looked down as she felt his waist shifting against hers, and her eyes widened as she gained a general understanding of what he meant to do. âNo, no, no, Daddy that wonât fit! Please, don't!â
âOh, itâll fit.â With that, he shoved himself halfway inside her, groaning in satisfaction at the way she squeezed him.
A bloodcurdling scream filled the room, and young Sara began crying uncontrollably from the overwhelming pain that consumed her body. She felt no pleasure from this, as her father did.
âShh, darling, donât cry.â In truth, he was enjoying the pain she felt, loving the way the tears streamed down her tiny little face.
And then came the words that had haunted her all her life. The ones he repeatedâword for wordâ each time this happened, right after the pain started.
âJust a little moreâŠitâll be over soon.â
At the tender age of eight, Sara Fujimura was raped by her father for the first time.
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Sara woke up screaming that night, her face wet with tears. The skin covering her stomach was burning, and her chest was heaving with terror.
The room was dark, and she reached out desperately to her right, her instincts unknowingly pushing her toward salvation.
In her nightmarish haze, sheâd forgotten where she was and the events of last night, so, mentally, she wasnât exactly sure what she was grasping for until a strong pair of arms wrapped her up and held her as close as possible. The second his skin touched hers, the physical and emotional relief she felt was palpable as she sagged into his embrace and tried hopelessly to still her beating heart, taking deep breaths in between choked sobs.
Todoroki ran his hand up and down her back, his face tucked against the side of hers. âYouâre okay, Iâm right here.â He reassured, his eyes burning. He hated seeing her like this, but he didnât know what was wrong, or how he could help. This was all he could think of.
âYouâre safe, Sara. I promise.â
She began to cry harder and adamantly shook her head where it was tucked into the crook of his neck, her hands reaching up to grab his shoulders and hanging onto them as though her life depended on it.
âNo, Iâm no-â Her voice broke. âI-Iâll never be safe as long asâŠas long as heâs-!â A violent shiver shook her entire frame, fear stifling her voice.
Todorokiâs brow twitched at her words. HeâŠ? Who is she talking about? Who⊠He lifted his head and studied her trembling form. Who could have done this to her?
His face darkened as his vision flashed red. I swear to god Iâll find out who did this to her and kill them.
Sara whimpered pitifully, her grip on him tightening and bringing him back to the situation at hand.
His expression softened and he cupped her face to guide her gaze to his. Revenge can wait, and finding out what happened isnât important right now.
âSara,â He swiped his thumbs across her cheeks, wiping her tears away. âAs long as Iâm here, no one can ever hurt you. I swear to you, I wonât let any harm come to you again.â Right now, she needs me to be her warmth, her safety, her protection.
More than anything, she needs any compassion I have rather than my anger, soâŠrevenge can wait.
A fresh wave of tears flowed down her face as she stared at the beautiful man before her. A man who had been hurt so much throughout his life, but could still find sympathy for others.
He may seem cold and uncaring, but in reality, heâs more kind, attentive, and capable than any person sheâd known in her life.
There was warmth in his eyes as he stared down at her, an emotion so strong that no words could capture just how all-encompassing it was.
âShotoâŠâ Sara lifted a hand to his face and brushed his bangs back from his face, admiring his features. Her voice was thick and scratchy from the screaming and crying sheâd done. âI love you, Shoto.â
Todorokiâs face crumpled as he was overwhelmed by the love she expressed for him even while she was in so much pain. âOh, SaraâŠâ He pressed his lips to her forehead as a lone tear slipped down his face. âI love you, more than anything.â
He pulled away to meet her gaze, and she gasped, eyes widening in surprise. In all the time theyâd been together, not once had she seen him cry. Sheâd never even seen him tear up.
âOhâŠâ She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him close, weaving one hand into his hair as he rested his forehead on her shoulder. His arms circled around her waist as he focused on regaining his composure. âIâm so sorry, Shoto.â
She inhaled shakily. âI didnâtâŠI didnât mean to upset you, I justâŠâ
The heroâs grip on her tightened as he shook his head. âNo, thatâs not it.â
He lifted his head and her hands fell to rest on his shoulders. âItâs just hard to see you in so much pain and not be able to do anything about it.â
He dropped his face into his hands, his shoulders sagging under the weight of the helplessness he felt. âI donât know what to do. I want to help youâI want you to feel safe and happy, but I-â His voice broke. âI donât even know where to startâŠI donât know if Iâm capable of being what you need me to be.â
Sara reached up and pulled his hands from his face. âDonât say that, Shoto. You being here is more than enough. Even last night, your first thought was to comfort me rather than ask questions.â
Her gaze flickered to her bare stomach and she instinctively wrapped an arm around herself. âIâm sure youâve got a million questions running through your head, but up until now I wasnât sure I could talk about it with youâor anyone, for that matter.â
Todoroki didnât miss the way she covered her stomach, and his attention was immediately drawn by the movement. He looked up at her with a questioning gaze, but she avoided his eyes.
He gently pulled her arm away, before letting out a broken, heart-wrenching sob at what was revealed. Sara screwed her eyes shut at the sound, feeling his grip on her wrist tighten.
âOh, god.â His hand hovered shakily over her stomach, wanting to heal it somehow but not wanting to hurt her by touching it.
Her skin was torn and scrubbed raw--as if sheâd been trying to tear herself open.
âSaraâŠâ Todorokiâs voice was barely above a whisper. When she opened her eyes to look at him, she saw how desperate he was to understand. âWhat⊠happened? Who hurt you to the extent that youâd do this yourself?â
He saw the hesitation in her features and took a deep breath, closing his eyes. âYou donât have to tell me, I justâŠâ He leaned his head on her shoulder again. âI want to understand.â
It was quiet for a long time. Neither of them moved or spoke.
Finally, Sara took in a deep breath and broke the silence. âMy father.â
Todorokiâs brows furrowed in both confusion and dread, but when he moved to raise his head, she pushed it back down.
âPlease,â She begged. âIf I see your expression I think Iâll lose my nerve.â
There was another stretch of silence before a shaky exhale left her lips. âWhen I was eight, my fatherâŠhe-â She paused, her voice quieting significantly. If Todoroki could have seen her face, he wouldâve noticed the glassy, far-away look in her eyes.
âHe raped me for the first time.â
Every muscle in the heroâs body tensed, his eyes widening in shock.
That was the absolute last thing he had expected her to say.
Sara felt him go rigid, squeezed her eyes shut, and pressed her hands against her stomach in an effort to stop their trembling and keep her resolve.
It was about time she told someone about thisâkeeping it to herself had grown to be far too much of a burden.
She took another deep breath, and her voice returned with a bit of the volume it had lost. âHe had moved us out to the country the year prior, which he later told me was part of his plan.â She looked down at her shaking hands, goosebumps rising along her skin. â...there were no neighbors to hear me scream.
âHe also said that heâd been waiting for me. That 8 was the perfect age for me to be old enough to understand no one else could know, but too young to realize how wrong it was. He-â She choked back a sob. âHe was wrong.â Her voice fell to a whisper, tears falling on the sheets wrapped around her legs.
âIt wasâŠit was horrible,â her voice cracked on the last word. âIn all my life, Iâve never experienced pain so severe since that day.â
Todorokiâs fists clenched, using every ounce of restraint in his body to keep from chasing after that son of a bitch right now. She needed him, though, and he knew that.
But Todoroki wanted him to suffer.
He hated his own father as a child, for what the man did to him and his mother, and the way he treated his work, but thatâŠcouldnât even compare to this. This was unredeemable. Nothing that her sorry excuse for a father could do would ever make up for the pain heâd caused her.
âFor a long time,â She continued after a lengthy silence, âI was stuck in that god-forsaken house. He switched me to home-schooling to reduce the risk of him being caught, and for a long time, he got away with it.
âWhen I was fifteen, some pros came around our house asking about suspicious activity. That was around the time that the league of villains activity was getting bad.
âMy father was so standoffish toward them, acting all paranoid and suspicious, that they set up a stakeout for our house that night, hoping to witness something incriminating.â She let out a dry, sarcastic laugh. âThey sure witnessed a hell of a lot that night, but it wasnât what theyâd been expecting at all.â She paused, thinking back.
âThat night it was particularly bad.â There was a tremor in her voice as she recounted the memory. âMy father thought that I had tipped them off, that Iâd âbetrayed himâ and âdestroyed his trust in me.â The bitterness in her tone was palpable.
âBy the time the heroes realized what was happening, most of the damage had been done already. I canât say I blame them, though. After 7 years of torture already, Iâd managed to train myself to stay quiet, for the most part.â She shuddered at her next words. âHe enjoyed hearing me scream, loved it when I begged him to stop. So I made it a point not to give him the satisfaction.
âBut that night, he pulled out all the stops. Made me scream louder and cry harder than I had in years.â
Todoroki began to tremble. A mixture of emotions was raging inside him, desperate to get out. But he wantedâno, he neededâto listen. For her.
As much as he knew that, he hated this. All those years she was in so much pain, and where was he? Living in a beautiful home, going to the nationâs top school, fulfilling his dreams, all while she was alone and afraid.
Sara looked down at Todorokiâs head as she felt something drip onto her shoulder, realizing with a start that he was cryingâŠfor her.
She reached one arm around his back and entwined the other in his hair, hoping to give him some reassurance that she was, in fact, okay, even if she didnât seem like it.
The second she touched him, he was moving, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her in as close as he possibly could. âIâm sorry,â he sobbed, the tears coming faster. âIâm so, so sorry.â
A sad smile stretched across her face, her bottom lip trembling as she tried not to cry, hiding her face in his neck. âOh, ShotoâŠâ
âWhyâŠâ His voice was raspy and weighed down by the guilt he felt. âWhy didnât you ever tell meâŠ?â
This was a question Sara had been expecting. âI just wasnât ready. To tell anyone.â
Todoroki hugged her tighter. âYou mean this whole timeâŠno one has known? Youâve had to go through this by yourself?â
She closed her eyes and breathed in his unique, citrusy scent of wintergreen and coriander. âNot completely. The heroes who rescued me made sure I was taken care of.â
Her voice grew soft. âI was in therapy and social readjustment classes until I was twenty-one, but these last few years, those memories havenât bothered me much. I couldnât even tell you the last time I thought about what happened.â
Todoroki was silent for a moment as he thought. âWhen you were twenty-oneâŠthree years ago, then. That wasnât long after we met, was it?â
Sara smiled, humming in affirmation. âMm, it was about six months after we met, a couple weeks before we got together. I actuallyâŠâ Hesitation, and then, softer, âI actually stopped going because of you.â
The two-toned hero pulled back in surprise and confusion. âWhat? Donât tell me you were ashamed of it, please, I never wanted you to feel that way.â His brows were knit with worry and the slightest bit of guilt.
The young woman let out a quiet but endearing laugh, shaking her head. âNo, not at all, Shoto. Itâs just that, after I met you, I felt like I no longer needed to.â An unconscious smile formed on her face as she reminisced. âI was at the point in my recovery where I wanted to put that part of my life behind me, for good.â
She placed a hand on his cheek and lifted his heterochromatic eyes to hers. âAnd with you, it was so easy to focus on the âhere and now.â It was soâŠrefreshing. Even when childhood or parents were brought up, there wasnât a single moment with you where I ever looked back on my past with fear and unease.â
Todoroki flinched, turning his gaze away. Sara noticed and hesitated before continuing. âAfter I met you I started looking at my childhood as a milestone. A trial that I survived and came out stronger than I was going in, and a necessary obstacle to become the person I am right now.â
She laughed dryly at her next words. âI stopped thinking about the bad parts of my childhood, because, believe it or notâŠâ She smiled. âIt wasnât all bad. I still have quite a few fond memories, especially from my younger years.â
Todoroki tucked his face back into the crook of her neck, his words muffled by her skin. âYou saidâŠâ He took in a deep breath of the lavender scent he loved so much. ââŠthat youâve never thought about the bad parts of your past when youâre with me, but last nightâŠâ His hold around her waist tightened as his brow furrowed in pain. âLast night IâŠreminded you of him, didnât I?â
â...what?â Saraâs eyes widened as she realized that sheâd failed to address the actual trigger of her trauma, and that he had interpreted it in the worst possible way. âOh god, ShoâŠlook at me.â
She got him to lift his head but he refused to meet her gaze, his face full of hurt and guilt. She sighed. âShoto, not a single part of you, from here,ââ She placed her fingertips against his face, tracing a path along his hairline, across his jaw, and down his neck before settling her hand over his heart. ââto here, has ever, ever, reminded me of him.â
Her hand and her gaze fell as she thought back to the events of the previous night. âIt was justâŠwhat you said, at the exact moment that you said itâŠâ Her voice shook with emotion. âThat was coincidentally and eerily identical to the words he used to speak, right after he got started, nearly every single time.â
Todorokiâs brow drew together as he thought back to the previous night, the memories fresh in his mind. Based on the context sheâd given, it didnât take him long to identify the words she was referring to.
âJust a little moreâŠitâll be over soon.â
Sara held up a hand to cut off his apology. It wasnât his fault. âYou couldnât possibly have known, Shoto, you donât have to apologize.â
She picked up his hand in hers and interlocked their fingers, a small but somewhat sad smile gracing her lips as she studied his troubled expression. âThe way you said it wasnât even remotely similar to the way he did, I justâŠâ She struggled to put what she wanted to say into words. âI guess the circumstances and how utterly focused I was on every part of you made me hyper-aware of your words. Maybe it was my mindâs way of telling me I didnât deserve to forget.â
She looked down in thought, shaking her head. That wasnât right.
Just as Todoroki opened his mouth to refute her, she continued. âNoâŠmaybe itâs just that I shouldnât forget, not that I donât deserve to. You know the saying, âThose who donât know history are destined to repeat it?ââ
She let out a wry laugh. âMaybe my brain knows something I donât and recalling that history is meant to help me somehow. Maybe I was overdue for a reminder.â
Her voice quieted, trembling slightly. âMaybe if I let myself forget about it, forget about him, heâll come back to remind me, andâŠand history will repeat its-â
âSara!â She startled at his sudden exclamation as he roughly grabbed her shoulders, staring down at her as he slid his hands to rest on either side of her neck, his thumbs caressing her jawline.
âDonâtââ His voice broke. âDonât say that. If forgetting about it lets you sleep easier at night, then forget. You donât have to worry about the consequences, if there even were any.â
His gaze was intense, resolved, determined. âI will never let him hurt you again, I swear to you. As long as weâre together, heâll never touch you.â
Her expression crumbled. âShoto, you donâtââ she took a deep breath to push down the fear and uncertainty clawing up her throat. âYou donât know that. He gets out next year, and you canât promise that he wonât come after me once heââ
Todoroki cut her off, his blood simmering just below the surface. âHe what? He gets out when?!â
Sara looked down, leaning forward to rest her head against his chest, the meaning of her own words sending chills down her spine. âIâŠIâve been trying not to think about it. Every time I do, I feel so helplessâŠso scared. And Iâmââ
A tear slipped down her cheek and onto Todoroki's bare skin. âIâm so tired of being scared all the time, but I donât know what else to do!â
Her breath was picking up, and he knew she was on the verge of another panic attack. He pulled back.
âHey, hey, hey, SaraâŠâ He let his hand push through her hair, tilting her head back. âSara, look at me.â
When she did, eyes burning with tears, he continued. âItâs impossible for history to repeat itselfâitâs different now. Do you know why?â
She shook her head, her bottom lip trembling furiously, and then she froze.
Todoroki smiled often enough, but only a few times had she ever witnessed him smiling at her the way he was now.
It was soft, loving, and held exactly the reassurance she needed at that moment. She felt like nothing could touch her when he smiled at her like that.
He swiped his thumbs over her tear-stained cheeks, heart aching for her. For her pain, for her fear. âI wasnât around to protect you back then, and for that Iâm sorry. But Iâm here now. Do you see?â
Her eyes widened and she felt as though a safety net had just been cast below the tightrope sheâd been dancing on her whole life.
âWeâre not talking about history here,â Todoroki said, his beautiful heterochromatic eyes shining with emotion that he rarely showed so much of. âWeâre talking about the future, your future. And Iâll be in it for as long as youâll let me.â
He placed a kiss on her forehead. âThatâs why itâs different now, why history can never repeat.â
Sara looked down from her tightrope, and there he wasâwaiting for her, like he always had been. But sheâd always been too afraid to look down, never noticing his outstretched arms in all this time.
She realized, with a sudden wave of clarity, that this man loved her. Really, truly loved her, despite her shortcomings, her imperfections. Despite her scars and all her broken edges.
Her eyes filled up with tears, years of residual fear and torment disappearing like a weight off her shoulders.
As she launched herself forward into his embrace, wrapping her arms around his neck, she imagined herself stepping off the ropeâweightless, free, for just a momentâbefore landing safe and secure in his arms.
It was then she realized that she would gladly tie herself to him for the rest of eternity if it meant she could stay by his side. If she could love and be loved unconditionally, for the rest of her life.
She was a sobbing wreck in his arms by this point, but she squeezed the only audible words she could manage through her tears.
âI love you, Shoto Todoroki, and I thinkâŠâ She threaded her fingers through the hair at the back of his head. âI think I always will. I love you so much I feel it all the way down in my toes every time I look at you.â
Todoroki laughed,âa heartwarming, melodic soundâwrapping his arms around her form and clutching her to his chest. His face buried into her neck as he began to rock them back and forth, unwilling to ever let her go again.
âI love you,â He began. âI love you so much that it hurts sometimes. When Iâm away from you or when I see you in painâŠâ
His voice softened. âNever leave me.â
Sara pulled back, just far enough to lean her forehead against his. âI wonât.â
She pressed a short kiss to his lips with an easy laugh. âIf Iâm being honest, I donât think I can at this point.â
Her mouth was mere centimeters from his, her warm breath teasing him as she spoke just above a whisper. âI passed the point of no return a long time ago, wouldnât you agree?â
He breathed an impatient âyesâ before eagerly leaning forward and capturing her lips with his.
It wasnât long before they were so tangled up in each other that it was impossible to tell where one ended and the other began.