Pew Pew

Bi, She/they, 24, Vibing menacingly Writer and certified town crier

[7dmom]

Omg the sweetest girl in the whole world sent me a friend request a bit too early into the relationship. Denied. Going on my list of sickening desperate fools.

[pinkpink0]

Why is public sex so hot 😫😫

[moviemeatloaf]

Climate change.

[thisisntreaver]

The true and real fable experience is gathering prostitutes for an orgy and getting attacked by surprised highwaymen

[thisisntreaver]

Genuinely offended you left this in tags

[rainybraindays]

This has been a very bad day, and I want my bank to explode but only after they give me money back

[innerchildabortionclinic]

interesting kink assortment on the dash

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[paverics]

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

[batsandboba]

do not start gambling. go outside and locate a bug. now post it on inaturalist. bam. nature's gacha game

[crabussy]

-> listening to a jaunty country style song -> hear the lyrics wrong -> pause. frown. go back a few seconds to relisten -> hears the same fucked up lyrics -> check the actual lyrics to see what it ACTUALLY says

-> oh!

[targetedknowledge]

[threedollarsdotcom]

> open up wallet

> full of blood

[buzzlightyearhugecock]

i go to the doctor

i show the doctor my hole

i am kicked out of the building

[buzzlightyearhugecock]

I ALWAYS GET A BONER WHEN I TAKE THE BUS

[buzzlightyearhugecock]

going to walmart to buy paper towels and get sucked off by werewolves

[buzzlightyearhugecock]

bastardization is the opposite of bimbofication

[elliewilliams]

whats yalls ultimate fave character. like years have passed, interests have come and gone, yet theyre still here. mines ellie williams

[fairycosmos]

i hate how they market alexa as a ‘member of the family’ like that’s SO fucking blatantly insidious and terrifying also if i wanted an untrustworthy/cold/emotionless machine in my life i’d just talk to my fuckin father 

[angelshake]

[ororomunroedontpullout]

“Guys stop bullying my wiretap”

[notarobot1006]

[jetlaggingbehind]

#did we all collectively forget why Big Brother was called that

[rainybraindays]

Lowkey forgot that it sucks writing for the fable fandom because you can go a long time w/o a comment or even a kudos