Also, I know Iāve already replied to this post, but the comparison of Hosea trying and failing to lead a normal life with Bessie, a woman he undoubtedly still adores even years after his death, and the treatment that Dutch subjects Molly to is so bizarre. The situations are so starkly different that I donāt even see how comparison can be drawn other than they are both men in relationships with women.
Hosea failed at something he did for Bessie, but him falling back into the outlaw life is something that 1. We know Bessie forgave him for and 2. Takes nothing away from how much we can tell Hosea adores that woman even years after her death. We never meet Bessie, and yet we learn so much about her purely from Hosea. Even when he isnāt talking about how any judge who would spare his life and take hers isnāt one he could respect any more than himself, itās evident in every mention of her that Hosea Matthews is deeply in love with his wife. No, he was not perfect. Yes, he was unable to leave the life of an outlaw behind for Bessie, but that is starkly different to any of the circumstances with Dutch and Molly.
To avoid just fully delving into how awful of a partner Dutch is, Iāll try and keep it short. Dutch wonāt even call Molly by her name. Do you understand how dehumanising that is? To repeatedly tell the man you love to call you by your first name and for that to be ignored every time? Calling somebody by their own name is such a basic form of respect that Dutch wonāt even give Molly. He ignores her wishes to be called Molly, he makes any excuse not to speak to her and no matter how upset she is, he will never let up. He wonāt even look at her, and this is the case as early as chapter two. He does not care enough about Molly to show her any basic human respect, let alone love, and all Molly asks him for is, to quote her directly, āto be treated with some respect and affectionā. She is not asking for a lot. She repeatedly expresses understanding for the stress Dutch is under and a willingness to help him if he would let her, but it makes no difference. No matter what, Dutch doesnāt care about her. She is asking to be shown the love she gave up everything for, and Dutch continuously neglects and manipulates her in turn. As the response said, Molly has no options besides staying in the gang with Dutch and he knows this, fully aware of the situation she is in, fully aware of how miserable Molly is, and still seeing the woman he brought here as little more than an inconvenience to him. Her emotions mean nothing, her love means nothing, she means nothing.
Also, hey - does Dutch talk about Annabelle like a woman he loves? In my opinion, no he absolutely does not. Annabelle exists only as motivation for Dutch to continue a feud he started. Hosea brings up Bessie at any opportunity he has to do so; reminiscing by the fire, riding through a place the two once went, even just playing dominoes with his son like he used to with her. She is on his mind constantly, and her memory prevails with him in even the most mundane situations. As he states, sheās the last thing he thinks about before he goes to sleep and the first thing he thinks about when he wakes up. The photo of the two of them is facing his bed. He is putting in every effort to remember Bessie as she was.
Unlike Hosea, Dutch does absolutely nothing to preserve or remember the kind of person that Annabelle was. āI liked Annabelle,ā yeah sure, but who was she? What was she like? How come you only ever bring her up when Colm shows up? Annabelleās memory and how she serves Dutchās own motives is all she seems to be worth to him. Of course people all grieve differently, but when we have Hosea to contrast it with, Dutchās memory of Annabelle and the way he speaks about her does not suggest that he loves her the way he claims. She is an idea, an abstract motivation, to Dutch. She is not a person.
Additionally with John - yeah, John sucks in the early chapters. No one who loves the relationship with the Marstons will deny that. Heās awful to Abigail, but unlike Dutch - who starts bad and gets worse with his abuse of Molly - John changes. Like I said in the replies, John has a redemption arc. You know. In the game about redemption. Johnās redemption is directly centred around his family, especially Abigail, and by the time we get to RDR, he has done a complete turn in how much he cares for his wife and child. Undeniably, he starts bad, but he gets better.
This take is just completely ignorant to the actual circumstances of all three relationships and how vastly different they are. Hosea being an imperfect but immensely loving partner and Johnās entire character arc being about becoming a better husband and father are, in fact, different to Dutch being an abusive partner to a woman who only ever wanted to feel loved and respected by him.
Also, if it was a āman bad narrativeā, do you really think Hosea and John would be off the hook? Because yes, those two were still imperfect, but as the original ask said, people love Hosea and John and their relationships with their respective partners. Perhaps itās just that people rightfully recognise and criticise Dutch and his relationship specifically because he is an incredibly abusive partner, not because of any kind of narrative about men the fanbase is trying to push.
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