Wafa-puriit @ramblaac - Tumblr Blog

Stormcloaks support universal healthcare (providing lobotomies to all thalmor)

#skyrim #tes #the elder scrolls #tesblr #elder scrolls

Considering how as an adventurer you routinely stumble into and murder through multiple bandit and vampire lairs on your way to kill demons from another plane of existence, you would think that stealing a cabbage shouldn't prompt the whole population of a small town to jump you with knives and teeth, but it is an absolute law of (every) universe that property rights to anything even tangently belonging to someone should be protected with full disregard for safety, logic and God.

You allow them to take dust off your coat and next they'll take your favourite pillows.

#woahh got possessed by the ghost of Drarayne Thelas at the end there #morrowind #oblivion #skyrim #the elder scrolls #elder scrolls #tesblr #tes

I think considering current politics and uh. everything. house Telvanni could easily justify slavery by just constantly saying that argonian and khajiit souls fit in normal soul gems, so why do you even care about them. They don't really need to explain themselves, but could be funny.

That girl's worth 4 charges on The Throngler. This guy's uncle? yuup, promoted to lightbulb.

#lying is op (depressive)#why did google suggest I buy a manequin of a premature infant when I was looking up house telvanni. ew #morrowind #the elder scrolls #elder scrolls #tesblr #tes

Added poison to my wine for flavor (as one typically does), but forgot to wear my poison resistance amulet, so our meeting will have to be relocated to soul cairn

#skyrim #the elder scrolls #tes #tesblr #elder scrolls

Yes, I am "woke", go ask Hircine why the werewolf package includes Perpetual™ Insomnia™

#skyrim #tes #the elder scrolls #tesblr #elder scrolls

Told a homophobic drunkard that I'm as straight as a sword (he doesn't know that I am from Hammerfell)

#skyrim #the elder scrolls #elder scrolls #tesblr #tes

Missed opportunity to give the College of Winterhold a homoerotic subplot - cmon, that's The Trope. Same with the Dark Brotherhood (it's literally in the name),,,, also the Companions (obvious), Ulfric is a physiological need, and there's already an otherwise sauceless Bards College (you know, full college dedicated to speech, charisma and entertainment). The almost lethally low levels of yaoi in Skyrim are carried on Erik the Slayer's big, muscular shoulders

#god I need that man #skyrim #the elder scrolls #elder scrolls #tesblr #tes

What to do when someone places a bucket on your head: don't worry about ittttttttttttttttttttttttt :33333333333

#skyrim #the elder scrolls #elder scrolls #tesblr #tes

Notice how Lucan and the golden dragon claw get tragically separated, only for a hero to come and reunite them? That's yaoi

#skyrim #wokelder scrolls #the elder scrolls #elder scrolls #tesblr #tes

Enter a tavern with 40 pending levels as an average-looking guy, sleep 40 times in a row - each time for exactly an hour - without exiting the room, and come out looking like I got a whiff of the delicious scent of a fresh apple fritter

#oblivion #morrowind #the elder scrolls #elder scrolls #tesblr #tes

doomsday-dj

There was recently a copyright infringement case in YA and I need everyone to know that the following sentence was in the legal decision:

“Hot, sexy, dangerous boys, central to virtually all young adult romance novels, cannot be copyrighted.”

kuttithevangu

“Regarding setting, the court held that both works taking place in Alaska high schools was not protectable because Alaska is a public place and setting a teen novel in a high school is a common genre convention.”

Freeman v. Deebs-Elkenaney | Loeb & Loeb LLP

kogiopsis

I've read the entire decision (skimming over the purely legal precedent/definitions bit) and here are some of my favorite bits:

So first go outside and bring me a stone. mkay i think youre ready. now help me kill a dragon

#skyrim #the elder scrolls #elder scrolls #tesblr #tes

Why, of all shouts my parrot could've overheard, did it have to be the one summoning Durnehviir? It's the 7th time he called him today and just started grinding his beak in satisfaction because now not only humans but also dragons are subject to his will. By Ysmir he just hopped on Durnehviir's head and tried preening his scales

#the parrot in question is a cockatiel #because of course it's a cockatiel #skyrim #the elder scrolls #elder scrolls #tesblr #tes

A beggar asked me for a coin, so instead I stopped in front of him and started chewing on a varla stone. I'm an orc and my understanding of magic ends on knowing that it maybe exists, so I just eat the stone. He doesn't know what it is, but he knows it costs like 10 years of food and it's in my tummy now.

#orcposting #oblivion #the elder scrolls #tesblr #elder scrolls #tes

TES people could probably deal with modern firearms by just making armor thick enough to stop everything, and using spells and potions of feather to lift it. Also making helmets fully closed, and navigating only with detect life. Also do you really need all that joint mobility you're hoarding?

Blacksmith suicide rates would probably skyrocket, though. You just recently made a whole breastplate, and now you see it with dents and soon-to-be holes, and you know you can't fix- by Zenithar, will this fucking idiot stop stepping on mines?

#skyrim #the elder scrolls #tes #elder scrolls #tesblr

Lydia, pass me my boogie mug. I feel ragnar the red coming up

#skyrim #the elder scrolls #elder scrolls #tes #tesblr

Tacitus Sallustius, after apprenticing as a blacksmith 12 hours a day and getting nowhere, watching the dragonborn advance from rusty daggers to forging with dragon bone in a few months. Sergius Turrianus observing him brute force becoming a master enchanter by destroying piles of magical gear. Arcadia seeing him surpass her alchemical knowledge via eating salt, giant toes and unidentified mushrooms. So many craftsmen know the dovahkiin as the stupidest savant

#skyrim #tes #the elder scrolls #tesblr #elder scrolls

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