creative sovereignty leggo

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@ramblingsandrecesses
creative sovereignty leggo
only the divine can intervene now
stuck in the contraption of self
i argued cause i cared not because i was tryna be toxic
hello tumblr my old friend
not dating, not friends, but a secret third option (finding each other in the fabric of the universe)
new beginnings
this is still progress
An Avatrice moment I’m still stuck on: the pre-battle disagreement about Vincent.
Beatrice knows that Ava is keeping something from her. She’s been having hushed conversations with Michael and sought out Vincent, of all people, for a way to stop Adriel. She won’t say anything about her trip to the other side and Mother Superion says she’s acting like Shannon.
Bea is already so stressed out and hurt, and she’s about to walk into a fight with only half the plan. Then Vincent tries to come along and she’s like, “No.”
Hand up and gun on her hip, she’s not playing games today. She bars his path to the van and to Ava.
“Beatrice.”
All Ava has to do is say her name and the hardened, protective girlfriend mask slips. Bea softens at once – turning towards Ava; sitting back in the chair; blinking rapidly, but unable to make eye contact; taking a deep breath.
“No,” she says again, and it’s so soft and full of pain. Full of the tenderness only reserved for Ava.
Beatrice needs to draw a line in the sand, claw back some measure of control.
Her back straightens as she turns to Vincent again. Mask back on.
“Look, I appreciate that you had an epiphany and your help with Ava –”
(Again, emphasis on Ava with a nod in her direction.)
“—but do not take that to mean you’re in our good graces.”
Fool me once, shame on you. But I’ll take on hell itself before I let you anywhere near her.
I’ve got enough going on already without you stabbing us in the back again.
Vincent is polite enough, saying he knows he has no right to think that.
“We need his help,” Ava says, and Beatrice’s frustration returns.
It again becomes a conversation between them only with Vincent as the awkward, hovering interloper.
“I don’t trust him.”
“Neither do I,” Ava says evenly, “but he knows the cathedral. He can get us in through security.”
It’s a palpable role-reversal as Ava uses Beatrice’s own rule against her: duty before feelings. Don’t let your emotions blind you to the mission.
What a maddening pill to swallow when Beatrice doesn’t even know what the end of this mission will bring.
But she relents because she trusts Ava and that’s all that matters.
A squabbling married couple right ‘til the end.
the line between not going out as an act of self-care and not going out as a symptom of depression is but a gossamer thread
I hope…
“There’s a Japanese phrase that I like: koi no yokan. It doesn’t mean love at first sight. It’s closer to love at second sight. It’s the feeling when you meet someone that you’re going to fall in love with them. Maybe you don’t love them right away, but it’s inevitable that you will.”
— Nicola Yoon, The Sun Is Also a Star
I am a flawed human being.
under the guise of normalcy
WHAT AM I TO YOU?
u know the drill
this is going to be an incoherent post but the immovable object vs unstoppable force dynamic that beatrice (object) n ava (force) had in s1 completely flipping on its head in s2 because they started mirroring each other so hard that they ended up swapping, beatrice’s devotion literally visibly changing shape in front of our eyes, going from faith in the halo to faith in ava, the way her philosophies evolve from ‘keep the halobearer safe bc she’s godsent & pivotal to the mission’ to ‘keep the halobearer safe bc she’s the girl i love’, in the end it’s not even about ava being the halobearer anymore it’s just about ava, n THEN we have ava herself, going from the unwilling chosen one so in love with life that she’d rather doom the world than sacrifice herself for it, to the unwilling chosen one so in love with beatrice that her presence n wellbeing becomes synonymous with life, there is no joy if beatrice isn’t standing next to her for it, there is no life if beatrice isn’t living it with her, and THE BOTH OF THEM championing “if it were a choice between me and you, I would choose you” because love in the end is what you would do for me & what you wouldn’t let me do for you, ava becoming the immovable object to beatrice’s unstoppable force, im on the floor.
Hey, guys. I just discovered a new drug. It's called "your relationship", and I'm high on it.
Camila to Ava and Beatrice