The Ramblings of A Crazy Face

I am a hot mess convert who loves Jesus and has a scandalous sense of humor. I love music,reading, writing. If I am ever canonized I will be the patron saint of people who can’t stop cussing. Or smoking. This is my personal blog and I also write for Catholic Stand . I am in the process of trying to write a memoir about my conversion but I have a serious Facebook addiction that I need to kick first

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Hope and Jello Shots I miss parties. Like, really miss people and parties and bars and shots. Jello shots in particular.

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Discerning Leaving Social Media

Discerning Leaving Social Media

Graphic from Pixabay

Anyone who has been following me for any length of time knows that I regularly get sick of social media and threaten to leave it. It happens regularly for me. I start to feel like shit when I am scrolling and then everything I read from others makes me mad and depressed. How can people be so dumb?

It got worse leading up to the 2016 election. I have seen so many good…

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Ways to Help those Struggling with Housing

Ways to Help those Struggling with Housing

Yesterday I saw a news story on CNN about people being evicted from their homes in Houston Texas and it broke me. I have been evicted from housing when I had little kids. It was hard and luckily for me, I had somewhere to go every time. But others are not that lucky and so I kept thinking of ways that I could help.

Here are some ideas I came up with because Houston will not be the only city…

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It isn’t About Being Right

I am not satisfied with being right. I want to know what is true. Truth does not cave to my emotions. And i am an emotional basket case which is why I seek truth because I already know my emotions are whack and lead me down the wrong path frequently. Truth keeps me oriented to where I want to be.

I don’t care about who is right. I want to know what is true. And it makes me very annoying. I…

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Life is not Ideal, Plan Accordingly

Life is not Ideal, Plan Accordingly

Picture from Pixabay

Maybe, and I know this is a wild opinion, we need to go back to talking about what a huge responsibility it is to raise and educate your children (both are the responsibility of the parents and not anyone else) which is why having them is such a huge decision to make, and therefore, sex comes with huge consequences. Especially for women, who have always and will always,…

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Self-care, Envy and Martyrdom

Self-care, Envy and Martyrdom

I have been kicking around the idea of self-care lately. I hear a lot about it on social media and it helps me a lot to remind myself that it is important to take time to feed my own soul. But it also makes me think about the time in my life when I was just trying to survive the day and how there are so many women in that same situation right now who are working twelve-hour days and raising kids…

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In a Dark Church sits a Sheep

After daily Mass I love to sit in the Church until the lights get turned down and everyone leaves. It is just me and Jesus.

I am an emotional person who puts a lot of weight on feelings. I react to things based on my feelings, I sometimes wallow in my feelings and I put way too much emphasis on how I am feeling.

When I sit in this dark Church I do not feel happy or loved or at peace. But I AM. I…

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The Love That Lives On

The Love That Lives On

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Parenting is so weird. You just have sex, a baby is made. Then one day you go to the hospital and give birth to a tiny human that the hospital lets you take home. Even if you are only seventeen years old and are an only child who has never held a baby or changed a diaper in your life. And just like that you are responsible for making sure this tiny person does…

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Signs of You

Last night I laid in bed and my stomach itched. I went to scratch it and for the first time since you died I touched the stretch mark I got when I was pregnant with you. With each one of your brothers and your sister it got bigger but it started when I was about eight months pregnant with you. I looked in the mirror at my 16 year old body and saw it. I was mortified. A STRETCHMARK!

I remember…

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Grief

I watched part of Beth Chapman’s memorial service on YouTube. If you don’t know who that is, I’ll tell you briefly. Beth and her husband Duane “Dog” Chapman are bounty hunters with a famous TV show. When I moved to the suburbs and became a stay at home mom I would watch hours and hours of their show because I had hours and hours empty during the day when my kids were in school. I had no idea how…

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The Terrorists Have Won

The terrorists have won. Don’t believe me? Just wait, I’m sure it will take less than an hour for someone full of fear masked as anger to comment on this post without reading it all the way to the end or not grasping what I wrote even if they do because fear makes us incapable of thinking. Our lizard brain goes right to work and we make no sense but we are very very angry. We read things that…

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Trip to the Rio Grande Valley

Trip to the Rio Grande Valley

Me and my son Gabe

This past Saturday my son Gabe and I drove from Austin Texas to McAllen Texas to help New Wave Feminists unload a semi full of donations for the respite center there that is run by Catholic Charities of the Rio Grande Valley.

As I native Texan, I do not say “The Border” and in fact I think that term has been coined by the media and it reduces this entire part of Texas…

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More Thoughts on PR Culture, How Your Support Helps and the Link to my Interview on The Catholic Feminist Podcast

More Thoughts on PR Culture, How Your Support Helps and the Link to my Interview on The Catholic Feminist Podcast

Hello ya’ll! Hope everyone is doing well.

I was recently a guest on the Catholic Feminist Podcast which you can listen to at this link. I am really proud of this interview because I was able to be myself and that made me feel at home. Also, with my husband gone, I rarely get a chance to talk to another adult in real life and I love love love talking.

One of the things that I talked about…

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Book Review: Embracing Weakness by Shannon Evans

I have largely stopped reviewing Catholic books. There are several reasons for this.

1. I haven’t found much I relate to when it comes to grief or loss or trauma in them. Not saying someone doesn’t find this, I am saying I don’t find things I relate to.

2. Because I am dealing with grief on an epic level and am not in the “thank you Jesus for giving me something to offer up for you” club of…

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Rebuilding

Suicide destroys your life. It robs the person who died of their future and it robs their loved ones of everything else. I can’t think of Anthony (my 22 year old son who took his own life over two years ago) without it taking my breath away. He was such an amazing human being. I’m not just saying that because I made him from scratch. I don’t think I have ever had anyone say anything to me about…

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Embrace the Suck

Photo from Pixabay

When I hear the words “suicide prevention” what I hear is “you did not do everything you could to save Anthony, you missed something and now he is dead”.  I do not know what other suicide loss survivors hear when they hear those words but that is myexperience, which is all I can write about. I cannot try to write anything else, that is what “my truth” means to me. This is my…

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The Internet is on Fire

The Internet is on Fire

picture from Pixabay

Or at least I want to set it on fire every time I log into any of my social media accounts. Even Instagram which really pisses me off because I really thought the social contract of being on Instagram was solid as in I we all agreed that no politics would go on there. But this week it all went to shit. Here’s my thing: I do not have it in me to argue with strangers online…

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