From the beginning I knew you were inexperienced, but your morals gelled better with mine than Zooks, which is why I considered making you general as opposed to him. But Zook showed competency, and you ultimately turned it down. Not all of these criticisms are my own, but also ones taken into account by other sources, by people who have informed me their own opinions and worries.
First of all is that you are highly submissive. In every mission, or even outing, you find the person of power and latch on to them. It happened with the unicorns, it happened with Ichabod, it happened with Ruddigore (or so I was told with that one). You take on their philosophies, their mentalities, and above all else you listen to them heavily. For some, like the unicorn, perhaps it was just a way to befriend them better, but I’ve been seeing it happen for serveral years now (I believe it also happened with the Jolly Robbers) and am disinclined to wave it off as merely an incidental strategy. A Leader needs to be independent of others. Considerate, yes. But ultimately they need to be independent.
The second issue is probably the reason why I don’t give out criticism often. As the commander, I was informed of your actions, and the fact is you were also too independent. Yes you are both lacking independence and too independent. No this is not a contradiction. It is referring to two separate areas of competency. In this case, you frequently scouted on ahead, without others. This is bad as a leader, as you need to be around to make decisions, otherwise people will just cluttle around like a bunch of headless chickens. If U’ala had not been there, and it had been  a less experienced crusader, than I would not have been surprised if the crusaders would have fallen apart.Â
When you are the leader you don’t go and be the hero. Especially when you only have one rezzer, which I found out was the case. This led to several people almost dying because they were too scattered to be found. Scouting is for people who don’t make decisions, just in case something happens while scouting is happening. Or a second in command. The point is as the leader you should not be going off alone, or listening to strange women telling you they need to go off on their own to fight other people. The world is full of hero complexes, and you need to not take any shit from any of them. I can guarantee you they are all stupid, misguided, and will inevitably lead to death.Â
And are you ready for yet another criticism that supposedly contradicts with what I said previously? U’ala kept a close eye on you, and informed me that you did not listen to her on several instances, despite her having more experience as High Druidess and former General.  You need to weigh everyone’s advice, and take the ones that make sense. And here is the ultimate issue, if you can’t accurately assess good advice from bad advice, there is no way you could ever be in leadership, because your judgment would be fundamentally wrong, which can’t really be fixed with a few words of sage advice. That can take decades to change, if it can be changed at all.
Now let’s go over a slightly different issue, how you handle trauma, and how you handle your emotions. To be blunt, we’re all a little fucked up. Trauma is expected. Bad emotions are to be expected. The fact that you have these emotions is not the reason this is a criticism, and it is vitally important to understand this nuance.
When you experience your emotions, you turn in on yourself and stop doing things. This is bad. Very bad. As a leader you can’t ever stop doing things. You can scream, be unprofessional, and in general act terribly, but you have to make sure you keep doing things. And you don’t. You shut down. And when bad news or a tough decision comes your way, you shut down more. Even ignoring the rift issues, whenever situations have come up with touch decisions or moral dilemmas (such as ichabod, or when I pointed out the deaths of 300 innocent lives) you shut down and internalize it in on yourself, making it impossible to deal with you in any professional manner.
In short, to put it nicely, you’re selfish. You do everything in regards to yourself. Which is fair, most people do, but you only get so many times you can do that as a leader. If you need any elaboration, feel free to ask. If you disagree, then that’s fine by me, but I can already say I’ve discussed this with some people, and they are in agreement.
Doc of Aranarth.
stormborns
titsay
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
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