Vent Blog

Basically just stuff I don't want to put on main

[angelonxanax]

in an abusive relationship with myself

[scarabies-real]

Realizing the depression is not seasonal is like: Wow! What a beautiful flower! The birds are singing! I sure do love spring! I think I am fundamentally unlovable as a person.

[ramblingvents]

Sometimes I'll scroll Tiktok mental health advice and think "this would be so bad for me if I saw it as a teen".

A couple of videos I've seen (some by licensed counselors): never confront anyone when they do something you dislike - ghost them instead and don't tell them why, you should never feel jealousy or any negative emotion towards your loved ones or you are an awful person, if your friend forgets things related to you it's because they hate you and are repressing it. Honorable mention to "if a woman doesn't wear makeup she's a sociopath".

Like it's ridiculously bad out there.

[ramblingvents]

I'm at whatever level of therapy where I notice a symptom and I respond like "Boo not the depersonalization 👎". I feel like I don't even take it seriously anymore LMAO

[ramblingvents]

Did you know? You can oppose the actions of the Israeli government and even be antizionist without claiming that antisemitism no longer exists and that there's such a thing as "Jewish supremacy".

[ramblingvents]

A friend did something that hurt you? Had a brief argument with your partner? Needs not being met in a relationship?

Be nonconfrontational! Downgrade them in your mind (because they know what they did)! Ghost them - especially if they try to talk things out, they're manipulating you! Sometimes relationships break based on confrontation, so never confront anyone at all! If you don't communicate, how can someone accuse you of communicating wrong?

[yuriartillery]

hold on let me try to invent a version of myself who can get us out of this mess [holds really still for a minute and a half and then turns to you with a flat affect] we probably should have killed ourselves an hour ago

[pansyfemme]

do you ever suicidalpost late at night and then come back to it in the morning and realize you sound like pjackk

[ramblingvents]

When your dad is trying to start a fight with you but you have a dissociative disorder and are going through a bit of a depressive episode so are winning the idgaf war by default.

[ramblingvents]

Vent (abusive parent interaction)

Sometimes it sucks when your dad has just decided he's going to be mad at you and anything you say or do will be held against you. Like I help gather the dishes for the kitchen, even though I've slept 3 hours and I am having a really hard time with physical movement. He's doing the dishes, so I ask if he'd like me to help cut up something for dinner since our sink doesn't fit two people. He says no. I say 'okay!' and go lay down because my head hurts. He cleans the super loudly, asks if I seriously can't find something to do - I tell him that I can help with prepping dinner because I can sit down but I won't be able to physically do a large cleaning session, he says no and mocks me for being tired, implying it's an excuse.

He then storms out of the kitchen and says he was looking forward to dinner but it's ruined by me being tired. Tells my mom that he was really trying to avoid a fight and it couldn't be helped because of me. My mom tries to comfort him, she doesn't bother with me.

And maybe it's just because I'm tired, but it kinda fucks me up that my own parents don't give a shit about how I feel.

[ramblingvents]

I refuse to keep mourning at my own grave. The grief is a part of me but it does not determine my future. My body remembers, but it also remembers the feeling of sunshine, of hugs, and of the gentle wind blowing through a tree. I feel my heart beat, I watch the first flowers of Spring and remember that I'm alive! I have more I want to do and experience, and life willing, I have more time.

[ramblingvents]

I have controversial opinion which is that (as someone who isn't a libertarian), any actual libertarian should be pro-abortion, trans healthcare, medical rights (patients having say in treatments), and kink.

If it's not the job of the government to control your body, then people should have the right to do whatever the hell they want with their body without government interference.

Of course, they're just Republicans who want to feel special

[ramblingvents]

Looking at the job market and my gpa and feeling like. Should I give up forever? The answer is unfortunately, no.

[ramblingvents]

When your brain decides to be suicidal on Yom Kippur and you gotta be like "nuh uh bestie, not getting me that easily"

[infectiouspiss]

[ramblingvents]

I kinda wish I had died when I attempted a year and a half ago but I didn't so we stay winning basically

[ramblingvents]

I think people need to realize that you can be antizionist without being antisemitic but you also can be antisemitic even if you're claiming it's in the name of antizionism. For example: saying what the Israeli government is doing is fucked up? Perfectly reasonable. Cheering on the burning of a synagogue in New Jersey, calling the Torah "demonic scrolls", and claiming the Rabbi started it because the synagogue was allegedly pro-Israel (all things I've actually seen in the Tiktok comment section)? Antisemitic. Full-stop. You're not helping people in Palestine, you're looking for an excuse to be hateful and adding more fuel to the fire.