We Are Asparagus

exactly what you'd expect and then some

[psych2go]

[ramennoodletrashbag]

I see you do not have the phobia of men’s genitals let me be of assistance

Phallophobia, you can thank the Greeks And now, back to our regularly scheduled program

[cuteautumn]

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

[vxpo]

Tomorrow is March 28th

[yeahishipitbitch]

[ramennoodletrashbag]

It's always Halloween

[ramennoodletrashbag]

German

“Code Word?” -Frau “It’s really small.” -Hunter @reproducktive

[srsfunny]

The Test That Blows Your Mind

[ramennoodletrashbag]

I thought of my ex boyfriend but green.

[eye-know]

Why is the grim reaper on billy & mandy jamaican?

[ramennoodletrashbag]

Because everyone knows Jamaica is basically Hell's headquarters.

[ramennoodletrashbag]

Chemistry

Me: Are you made of pure copper and tellerium? Cuz you're CuTe.

Chemistry teacher: Get. Out.

Me: Aw c'mon!

Chem teacher: Nope, out, at least until you come up with a better line.

Me: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?

Chemistry teacher: *sigh*

Me: SWAG *leaves*

[sexemulators]

We’re all damaged in our own way. Nobody’s perfect. I think we’re all somewhat screwy. Every single one of us.

Johnny Depp (via quotethatword)

[readysetshootimonfire]

English class

I just watched a gay proposal happen. Girlscout cookies man XD

[ramennoodletrashbag]

Lunch time conversations

Gabe: if you had to drown in something what would it be?

Me: orange soda.

Hunter: Ass.

[readysetshootimonfire]

Victorian swears

I got my study hall to start using Victorian era swears what have I done

[readysetshootimonfire]

“Lower tree branches for people with lower expectations.” -H.S.

[flirting-with-psychology]

A Guide to “How Are You” for College Students

“Great!” = Good

“Good” = Okay, maybe a little stressed

“Okay” = Feel like I’m drowning in exams/projects/sickness, but still managing to keep it together

“Stressed” = Drowning in exams/projects/sickness, and not keeping it together

“Great.” = The entire semester is crashing and burning and sarcasm is all I’ve got left

[psych2go]

DYING OF LONELINESS; WHY WE NEED FRIENDS WHEN WE GET OLD

Living with loneliness in the golden years

As we age we inevitably lose contact with old friends, loved ones die, our long-time neighbors move away. The table at the corner coffee shop where your friends used to gather now sits empty every Tuesday morning. The kids are busy going about the business of living and raising their own children. We begin to feel like we are waiting for something that isn’t coming and tomorrow’s sunshine no longer brightens the day.

Continue reading here: https://www.psych2go.net/dying-of-loneliness-why-we-need-friends-when-we-get-old/ 

Do you know any elderly who is lonely? We should all visit our old family and friends. What are you suggestions to help them?

[sparklezoi]

Reblog for twerking granny

[tylerposey]

are you religious?

Yes, I worship the D.

[ramennoodletrashbag]

Random little writing prompt

"What do you mean you're out of mangoes?! You are the god of gardening! Can you not summon more of them?" I scream as we run down the beach, the angry locals trailing behind us. "Yeah, no it doesn't work that way." "Well then how does it work? Because we need something!" "It's not my fault my dad's mad at me! It was one tree elf! How was I supposed to know he fancied him and we'd end up chased by a tribe of humans who thought mangoes to be some sort of heaven blessed food?!"

[ramennoodletrashbag]

Hey Frau can I bring winter mangoes to my goat named Goat (pronounced Joe-at) at the elderwood?

France

[ramennoodletrashbag]

No plungers on heads right now guys.

Olson