Coty

shinobi coty ✧

[lmaonade]

you are just like computer file i delete you

[beatlesweatles]

[pangur-and-grim]

I am genuinely so fucking stupid. I was reading this book where a bunch of people have to pass a logic puzzle in order to survive, and I was like "why are they all dying?? the answer is obviously the third goblet from the left!" yeah.....that was not the answer. I would've died in this book, and I would've been SO publicly smug before I did. like giving people the finger, smirking, etc. this sucks.

[robowarrior-god]

[catfancyceo]

Let's kill this guy with mama.

[fleetwood-mac-andcheese]

[itsbasil]

you put those tags on this post where they belong

[strayhorse]

[capacity2]

GIRLfriend????

[theunstablejester]

[dogpuppy]

[mandywondering]

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

[dietspam16]

if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this already

[nyancrimew]

we are past swifties calling themselves punks and have arrived at swift calling herself punk

[ruckuscauser]

[etheltempest]

i don’t trust the bookmark feature on instagram so for the past two years i’ve been saving funny reels by dm’ing them to the french president 💀

[etheltempest]

[aranzi-aronzo-wisdom]

[nitw]

i fucking hate being an adult with a slowly increasing number of responsibilities its like one day you wake up and youre like aw fuck when was the last time i descaled the coffee machine

[nitw]

"theres gonna be a power outage tomorrow welp i better boil some water in advance!" "oh gee looks like its time to vacuum the carpet!" GET REAL?????? YOU SOUND INSANE

[nitw]

someday youre gonna be out of baking soda when it matters most and its gonna destroy you

[asteriavinifera]

Do you wanna go watch the sunlight pierce the leaves of the forest with me?

[spiralstaircased]

Me when I'm old as fuck and my grandkids talk to me: this reminds me of a post. I gotta go find the post

Grandkids: grandpa sit down you don't need to show us a post

Me: (not listening) Now where was that post....

[aimervee]

So anyways the Pokecology book is really good you guys

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

today I learned that in 2008, the city council of florence overturned dante’s sentence of execution if he returned from exile. yes, dante’s inferno dante, who died in 1321.

but the funniest part of this is not that they were debating the exile of a man who has been dead for over 500 years.

the funniest part is that the vote was 19-5. five people voted to uphold dante’s exile.

[stabethadeathwhisper]

The objectively funniest part of this is actually that the city that holds his remains, Ravenna, refused to give his remains back. This was a ploy from florence to have his remains moved back for the tourist money and its been ongoing for a long time. Florence had a fake tomb built in the city to trick people into visiting, and have tried to force the return of the remains.

His actual caretakers have been very steadfast in keeping them hidden, moved, or generally out of reach to respect his choice in life to never, ever, ever return to florence, even when he was first offered the chance to return. This is at this point an almost millenium long feud that florence is really, really mad about losing

[mysteryteacup]

so basically the five people who wanted to uphold his exile were in the right

[reachperfection]

[kosmogrl]

[hex-girlfriend]

forever torn between wanting to be seen as pretty and absolutely hating the idea of anyone looking at me or thinking anything about me ever