A few fun facts about Helen, collected from various writers:
she was born of an egg, because why not
more than a thousand years after her ‘birth’, a sanctuary in Sparta still proudly displayed the shell of that egg
(obviously Pausanias travelled there to see it)
(it’s always unclear whether he had all that money to waste on tickets and bribes or if he just used a variation of Ye Olde ‘let me in for free, I’m an influencer’)
Paris was already married and abandoned his family to kidnap Helen
his first wife, a healer, refused to help him after he was wounded in battle, and that’s why he died
Helen had been kidnapped once before, when she was a child, by Theseus
he tried to ‘marry’ her but couldn’t, because she was too young, so he left her behind to go on a new adventure
meanwhile, Helen’s brothers attacked Athens, took their sister back and kidnapped Theseus’ mother just to show him
Theseus’ mother is still Helen’s personal slave years later, in Troy
also Theseus spent a few years with his ass glued to a magical chair because of an unconnected crime, so there’s that
(unpopular opinion, but he really is the vilest hero of Greek mythology)
(which doesn’t say good things about Athens but there you go)
people liked to conflate mythological and historical Sparta
or maybe they were just confused
in any case, that’s why many imagined Helen as a good athlete and fighter who trained with her brothers, in following with the Spartan tradition
Odysseus wanted very much to marry her, but after taking one look at the crowd of suitors, decided it was too much trouble
he became her friend instead, and together they devised a way for her to choose her own husband
the rejected suitors had to swear loyalty to Menelaus while standing in the blood of a horse
stallions were the holiest animals you could sacrifice
‘coincidentally’, the horse is also a symbol of Poseidon - the god of earthquakes who was a fierce supporter of the Greeks from the start
historical Troy was destroyed by an earthquake
mythological Troy was destroyed by a ‘horse’
some Helen stans insisted she was never in Troy at all - that the gods had given Paris a cloud in her image and transported her to Egypt instead
whatever the ‘truth’, Helen wasn’t happy with Paris: Aphrodite had to force her into his bed
she considered killing herself to end the war, but Priam wouldn’t let her because he liked her
Helen was also friends with Hector because everyone was friends with Hector
I’m still hoping Hector had blue hair btw, but Homer probably meant dark brown because life is unfair and we can’t have nice things
when Menelaus entered the city, he was intent on killing her, but then Helen saw him running towards her and she dropped the top half of her robe - a traditional way to beg for mercy - so he stopped in his tracks
he took her back, and they ended up having a very happy marriage
I mean all of their friends had died horribly, but who cares
you can always make new friends
after her death, she may or may not have spent the afterlife with Achilles
there’s also something of the witch in Helen
which is consistent with the other female characters of her generation, who were all extremely strong and unGreek
this is possibly a memory of older stories and preGreek traditions
perhaps even a memory of Minoan culture - Mycenaean palaces were full of Minoans, so there was definitely some contamination there
unrelated, but this is my favourite portrait of Helen - an amphora by Euthymides showing the moment of her abduction by Theseus
