Randolph Chase

Magnus and Annabeth, please leave me alone.

[randolph-with-a-phd]

I will now be accepting questions about my son and/or Loki

Don't make me regret this.

[randolph-with-a-phd]

HEY RANDOLPH

@dont-call-me-beantown

Hello Magnus! I haven't heard from you in a while.

[mallory-keen-to-kill-you]

is magnus your best friend in the whole wide world and are you sorry for setting him on fire yesterday yes or no

no and no (:<

[dont-call-me-beantown]

wrong answer, mac

[mallory-keen-to-kill-you]

is it?

whos the one that actually went to high school in this conversation??

[dont-call-me-beantown]

low blow. at least a car bomb didn't explode in my face

[mallory-keen-to-kill-you]

at least I didn't get the stomach ache of the centur from burning ashpalt and then died from it because I have no fighting abilities

[dont-call-me-beantown]

at least i didn't SET THE CAR BOMB

[mallory-keen-to-kill-you]

at least I didn't get decapitated by my crush literally right after meeting them

[dont-call-me-beantown]

at least i didn't jump out of a train after finding out frigg was my mum

[mallory-keen-to-kill-you]

at least I didn't die because I hit the water too hard

[dont-call-me-beantown]

at least i can heal my own injuries

[mallory-keen-to-kill-you]

at least my uncle isn't a dead asshole

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Are you referring to me?

[mallory-keen-to-kill-you]

obviously

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Hey, at least my boyfriend and I don't break up every 5 minutes.

[mallory-keen-to-kill-you]

Firstly, shut up, only Magnus and my friends are allowed to bully me back

Secondly, we're both queer so it's an open relationship

And hey, at least I didn't get my wife and kids killed 🥰

@dont-call-me-beantown tell your uncle to go back to his grave please

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Yes, I've heard.

You make it sound like I'm not also queer, I'm just in a polycule and not an open relationship. My wife and children are back, and my children with Loki (and Loki himself) live with us as well. We all go to therapy at least once a week.

I'm not going back to my grave. I can't. I didn't even get a burial, and I can't die.

[mallory-keen-to-kill-you]

is magnus your best friend in the whole wide world and are you sorry for setting him on fire yesterday yes or no

no and no (:<

[dont-call-me-beantown]

wrong answer, mac

[mallory-keen-to-kill-you]

is it?

whos the one that actually went to high school in this conversation??

[dont-call-me-beantown]

low blow. at least a car bomb didn't explode in my face

[mallory-keen-to-kill-you]

at least I didn't get the stomach ache of the centur from burning ashpalt and then died from it because I have no fighting abilities

[dont-call-me-beantown]

at least i didn't SET THE CAR BOMB

[mallory-keen-to-kill-you]

at least I didn't get decapitated by my crush literally right after meeting them

[dont-call-me-beantown]

at least i didn't jump out of a train after finding out frigg was my mum

[mallory-keen-to-kill-you]

at least I didn't die because I hit the water too hard

[dont-call-me-beantown]

at least i can heal my own injuries

[mallory-keen-to-kill-you]

at least my uncle isn't a dead asshole

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Are you referring to me?

[mallory-keen-to-kill-you]

obviously

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Hey, at least my boyfriend and I don't break up every 5 minutes.

[mallory-keen-to-kill-you]

is magnus your best friend in the whole wide world and are you sorry for setting him on fire yesterday yes or no

no and no (:<

[dont-call-me-beantown]

wrong answer, mac

[mallory-keen-to-kill-you]

is it?

whos the one that actually went to high school in this conversation??

[dont-call-me-beantown]

low blow. at least a car bomb didn't explode in my face

[mallory-keen-to-kill-you]

at least I didn't get the stomach ache of the centur from burning ashpalt and then died from it because I have no fighting abilities

[dont-call-me-beantown]

at least i didn't SET THE CAR BOMB

[mallory-keen-to-kill-you]

at least I didn't get decapitated by my crush literally right after meeting them

[dont-call-me-beantown]

at least i didn't jump out of a train after finding out frigg was my mum

[mallory-keen-to-kill-you]

at least I didn't die because I hit the water too hard

[dont-call-me-beantown]

at least i can heal my own injuries

[mallory-keen-to-kill-you]

at least my uncle isn't a dead asshole

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Are you referring to me?

[randolph-with-a-phd]

your nephew has been eating clay and biting anyone that tries to stop him, please help

@mallory-keen-to-kill-you

Magnus, Natalie taught you not to eat clay. Have some taste and at least eat mud.

[randolph-with-a-phd]

One of my few posts during my very large and long family vacation in an undisclosed location

I killed a dragon last week! Everyone else was asleep, and Loki was away for a little bit, so he wasn't able to just make it leave us, so I took matters into my own hands.

[imhotterthanallofyou]

I'm so proud of you! By the time I'd gotten back, you'd already started roasting the heart?

To anyone doubting the abilities of my husband, look no further.

Are the birds annoying you yet?

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Only a little.

[randolph-with-a-phd]

One of my few posts during my very large and long family vacation in an undisclosed location

I killed a dragon last week! Everyone else was asleep, and Loki was away for a little bit, so he wasn't able to just make it leave us, so I took matters into my own hands.

[imhotterthanallofyou]

Who is the worst Norse god to have as a parent?

Odin (get killed by his wolves)

Frey (get killed by Odin's wolves)

Tyr (almost get killed by Odin's wolves)

Loki (get killed by Odin's wolves)

[Other option not listed here]

[JUST SHOW ME THE RESULTS]

Voting ended onMay 22, 2024

And please, dear voters, explain your choice in the notes. ❤️

[randolph-with-a-phd]

All of those options seem bad, but I'm not a demigod, so I don't think it's my place to make a decision.

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Evening. I need you for a few minutes.

Alright. What is it?

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

I would like to stage an affair with you. I will not explain why.

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Ok. What are you waiting for?

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

Your consent, obviously.

[randolph-with-a-phd]

I just gave it.

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

Excellent.

We just need to go out on the street...

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Ok...

Why do I have a bad feeling about this?

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

It'll be fiiiine. Have you ever kissed someone deeply in public?

[randolph-with-a-phd]

No, I haven't. I tend to keep my private life private.

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

Well, there's a first time for everything, isn't there?

[randolph-with-a-phd]

I suppose so.

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

I'll have to make a few other stops just to make this convincing so we'll have to be quick.

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Why would we need to do that?

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

I just said I wouldn't explain...

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Alright then...

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Evening. I need you for a few minutes.

Alright. What is it?

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

I would like to stage an affair with you. I will not explain why.

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Ok. What are you waiting for?

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

Your consent, obviously.

[randolph-with-a-phd]

I just gave it.

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

Excellent.

We just need to go out on the street...

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Ok...

Why do I have a bad feeling about this?

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

It'll be fiiiine. Have you ever kissed someone deeply in public?

[randolph-with-a-phd]

No, I haven't. I tend to keep my private life private.

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

Well, there's a first time for everything, isn't there?

[randolph-with-a-phd]

I suppose so.

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

I'll have to make a few other stops just to make this convincing so we'll have to be quick.

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Why would we need to do that?

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Evening. I need you for a few minutes.

Alright. What is it?

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

I would like to stage an affair with you. I will not explain why.

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Ok. What are you waiting for?

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

Your consent, obviously.

[randolph-with-a-phd]

I just gave it.

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

Excellent.

We just need to go out on the street...

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Ok...

Why do I have a bad feeling about this?

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

It'll be fiiiine. Have you ever kissed someone deeply in public?

[randolph-with-a-phd]

No, I haven't. I tend to keep my private life private.

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

Well, there's a first time for everything, isn't there?

[randolph-with-a-phd]

I suppose so.

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Evening. I need you for a few minutes.

Alright. What is it?

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

I would like to stage an affair with you. I will not explain why.

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Ok. What are you waiting for?

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

Your consent, obviously.

[randolph-with-a-phd]

I just gave it.

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

Excellent.

We just need to go out on the street...

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Ok...

Why do I have a bad feeling about this?

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

It'll be fiiiine. Have you ever kissed someone deeply in public?

[randolph-with-a-phd]

No, I haven't. I tend to keep my private life private.

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Evening. I need you for a few minutes.

Alright. What is it?

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

I would like to stage an affair with you. I will not explain why.

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Ok. What are you waiting for?

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

Your consent, obviously.

[randolph-with-a-phd]

I just gave it.

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

Excellent.

We just need to go out on the street...

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Ok...

Why do I have a bad feeling about this?

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Evening. I need you for a few minutes.

Alright. What is it?

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

I would like to stage an affair with you. I will not explain why.

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Ok. What are you waiting for?

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

Your consent, obviously.

[randolph-with-a-phd]

I just gave it.

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Evening. I need you for a few minutes.

Alright. What is it?

[lordofsummergodofrizz]

I would like to stage an affair with you. I will not explain why.

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Ok. What are you waiting for?

[randolph-with-a-phd]

Evening. I need you for a few minutes.

Alright. What is it?