Loki Laufeyjarson

he/she/they HMU ;) Red Sox and Jotnar FTW Occasionally 18+ (occasionally)

[imhotterthanallofyou]

Heeeeyyyyyyy

Just putting together a little list, can all my kids (and descendants) let me know who they are?

I'd like to know your names in case some dumbass bastard god decides to try to kill you. Gotta protect my babies❤️

[imhotterthanallofyou]

The fuck you doing Loki?

@official-alex-fierro

The fuck I am doing is relaxing. 🧖 I have a lot coming up in the next month, so I'm taking it easy. I went and decided to try out one of those Midgardian "universities" everyone keeps talking about. It's not terrible.

[mallory-keen-to-kill-you]

....which universities did you even apply to? And how? 😭

@kurtcobainlookalike we need a new walnut bro

[imhotterthanallofyou]

I'm not telling because the university has a public directory and there's only one Loki Laufeyjarson in it. Not one of the universities I applied to rejected me, fortunately, but it was difficult to choose.

And no, no walnuts will be necessary.

[imhotterthanallofyou]

The fuck you doing Loki?

@official-alex-fierro

The fuck I am doing is relaxing. 🧖 I have a lot coming up in the next month, so I'm taking it easy. I went and decided to try out one of those Midgardian "universities" everyone keeps talking about. It's not terrible.

[official-alex-fierro]

If you get up to something, I swear by Odin, I'll have your head on a platter.

[imhotterthanallofyou]

Don't get ahead of yourself, hon. Your mama is just graduating with honors in creative writing. The professors here actually like it if you write a 2-hour long stage adaptation of a classic horror novel where multiple starring roles are in drag and everyone is queer. They loved it.

Then later today I'm going to watch one of the clubs do battle with fake weapons, and the losing team's captain will get beheaded with a foam ax. Looking forward to it.

[imhotterthanallofyou]

The fuck you doing Loki?

@official-alex-fierro

The fuck I am doing is relaxing. 🧖 I have a lot coming up in the next month, so I'm taking it easy. I went and decided to try out one of those Midgardian "universities" everyone keeps talking about. It's not terrible.

[bugwolfsstuff]

Its an end of an era, Bald Loki is no longer my banner😔

[imhotterthanallofyou]

It was about fucking time, kid.

[bugwolfsstuff]

Its still in the intro post, dont worry :)

[imhotterthanallofyou]

Eh, I can't always win.

But someday.

Someday that image will be gone.

[bugwolfsstuff]

Its an end of an era, Bald Loki is no longer my banner😔

[imhotterthanallofyou]

It was about fucking time, kid.

[imhotterthanallofyou]

Hey dad. It's been a while but I wanted to ask you something. Why do the Aesir dislike you? You don't really seem all that bad... but they call you all sorts of names and I just don't understand. - @spaceissocool

To summarize, and without pointing fingers at a very specific person, the Aesir have a very black-and-white thinking when it comes to a lot of things. Morals, war, loyalty, even race and gender. Which doesn't help when I'm a genderfluid jotun. All the Aesir are jotnar too, but they like to pretend they're not. Being confronted with one that acts so "civilized" (because apparently jotnar can't have manners?) makes them feel weird. They don't like feeling weird. They simply wanted a reason to get rid of me without breaking any rules.

Until a very specific Aesir broke an oath made to me, which meant I was well within my rights to repay it in kind while still remaining within the bounds of said oath.

So that's how that happened.

[spaceissocool]

That makes sense I suppose... It explains why they treat me so weird. But it's still wrong and so unfair. I still remember one of them saying "How can someone like... you be a child of Loki?" And when I asked what they meant I was told I seem rather nice and not very child-of-Loki like... Which when did being nice change your parentage?

[imhotterthanallofyou]

It goes against their expectations. "How can someone like you be a child of Loki?" is a backhanded compliment. They're calling you nice, but dragging you down but telling you they believe all children of Loki must be jackasses.

Vali is an absolute sweetheart, and Hel has such a soft spot for children. Don't even get me started on Sleipnir.

[imhotterthanallofyou]

Hey dad. It's been a while but I wanted to ask you something. Why do the Aesir dislike you? You don't really seem all that bad... but they call you all sorts of names and I just don't understand. - @spaceissocool

To summarize, and without pointing fingers at a very specific person, the Aesir have a very black-and-white thinking when it comes to a lot of things. Morals, war, loyalty, even race and gender. Which doesn't help when I'm a genderfluid jotun. All the Aesir are jotnar too, but they like to pretend they're not. Being confronted with one that acts so "civilized" (because apparently jotnar can't have manners?) makes them feel weird. They don't like feeling weird. They simply wanted a reason to get rid of me without breaking any rules.

Until a very specific Aesir broke an oath made to me, which meant I was well within my rights to repay it in kind while still remaining within the bounds of said oath.

So that's how that happened.

[imhotterthanallofyou]

With Yule on the horizon, how is everyone going to celebrate?

Personally, I think I'm going to get into a few arguments with some thanes. They won't fight in a holmgang during Yuletide. Cowards. But then afterwards I'll have plenty of sparring practice! I can never find a good enough partner, but at least a holmgang with a bunch of losers will be fun.

[halfbornhalfdead]

How about for Yule, you get back in the walnut?

[runelordhearthstone]

Agreed

But what if we put him in a helium balloon and just

Let it go?

[imhotterthanallofyou]

What makes you think that will work? I can just... break the balloon? And fly?

You're a clever elf, but that's not your best idea. You can do better. I believe in you.

[runelordhearthstone]

I really just wanted to put a Frozen reference in December

What about a clam shell and we throw you in a river?

Perfume bottle and put on Freya’s shelf with the other bottles?

A miniature version of the Ship of Nails in a bottle so you can be captain one last time?

Pecan shell?

[imhotterthanallofyou]

The main problem is that none of those are enchanted. Making something with a paradox seems like a good idea at first, but it only lasts so long. A lot of its strength relies on the creative thinking of whoever is bound, not the creator.

But hey, at least none of those ideas of yours involve murdering two of my children and using their intestines as chains. With who you know, you'd only have Sam and Alex. And I'm sure you don't want to do that, now, do you?

[imhotterthanallofyou]

With Yule on the horizon, how is everyone going to celebrate?

Personally, I think I'm going to get into a few arguments with some thanes. They won't fight in a holmgang during Yuletide. Cowards. But then afterwards I'll have plenty of sparring practice! I can never find a good enough partner, but at least a holmgang with a bunch of losers will be fun.

[halfbornhalfdead]

How about for Yule, you get back in the walnut?

[runelordhearthstone]

Agreed

But what if we put him in a helium balloon and just

Let it go?

[imhotterthanallofyou]

What makes you think that will work? I can just... break the balloon? And fly?

You're a clever elf, but that's not your best idea. You can do better. I believe in you.

[imhotterthanallofyou]

With Yule on the horizon, how is everyone going to celebrate?

Personally, I think I'm going to get into a few arguments with some thanes. They won't fight in a holmgang during Yuletide. Cowards. But then afterwards I'll have plenty of sparring practice! I can never find a good enough partner, but at least a holmgang with a bunch of losers will be fun.

[imhotterthanallofyou]

Mother what sort of music do you like

I love pop, alt, folk from all eras. In terms of artists, Madonna is amazing, Billie Eilish has a great discography, I have this playlist or arabic pop, plus there's this one skald couple that did some great polyphony.

[mallory-keen-to-kill-you]

BILLIE EILLISH????

fuck why do you have to make it so hard to hate you sometimes

[imhotterthanallofyou]

SHE'S ICONIC.

Also thanks <3 I do try to make it difficult to hate me.

[imhotterthanallofyou]

Mother what sort of music do you like

I love pop, alt, folk from all eras. In terms of artists, Madonna is amazing, Billie Eilish has a great discography, I have this playlist of arabic pop, plus there's this one skald couple that did some great polyphony.

[alex-fierro-pr-nightmare]

It's like I always say. If life fucks you in the ass, roll over and snap its dick off.

My other life saying is if you're a bitch, you get the brick (basically if you're an asshole then you get the Jason grace treatment and get smacked in the face with a brick

You. I like you

[dont-call-me-beantown]

alex i see you coming over here with a brick get the fuck away from me

[mallory-keen-to-kill-you]

ooh I have some bricks too

[imhotterthanallofyou]

Sorry I'm so late, darlings, but I also have bricks.

[mallory-keen-to-kill-you]

LETS GOOOOO

[imhotterthanallofyou]

I have my own kiln and live near a river. I can produce my OWN BRICKS from start to finish.

[alex-fierro-pr-nightmare]

It's like I always say. If life fucks you in the ass, roll over and snap its dick off.

My other life saying is if you're a bitch, you get the brick (basically if you're an asshole then you get the Jason grace treatment and get smacked in the face with a brick

You. I like you

[dont-call-me-beantown]

alex i see you coming over here with a brick get the fuck away from me

[mallory-keen-to-kill-you]

ooh I have some bricks too

[imhotterthanallofyou]

Sorry I'm so late, darlings, but I also have bricks.

[imhotterthanallofyou]

well if I finally got a supportive mom...

𝘗𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢 𝘨𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘣𝘰𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥

Yap time

Is this you?

[thatwasverypunkr0ckofu]

@imhotterthanallofyou

I DONT GET TO YAP A LOT OK!

[imhotterthanallofyou]

YAP AWAY! I'M LISTENING.

INTENTLY.

[thatwasverypunkr0ckofu]

@imhotterthanyou

OK MY YAP TODAY IS.....

HOW THE HELL DO I SHAPESHIFT

IM HAVING A GUY DAY AND IM ANNOYED

[imhotterthanallofyou]

By far the easiest thing to shapeshift into a person shape, so you're in luck.

Imagine the shape you want to transform into. This is the most obvious step. You can be pretty much anything, even an inanimate object. Know all the angles and details.

Imagine the different parts of you changing to match this new form. If you're only changing certain traits, focus on those. If you're worried about not being able to complete the transformation, focus on the most important ones first.

By this point, you should be at least mostly finished, since shapeshifting is really intuitive. It's alright if you can't finish it. If that happens, a mirror or two (two is better) can help you out so you can see the process and know what to change. Then you can continue.

Ta-da! Shapeshifting comes naturally to jotnar and their offspring, but don't worry if you can't get it figured out right away.

[thatwasverypunkr0ckofu]

𝘞𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘰𝘯 𝘢 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘱𝘢𝘥

Ok ok..I think I got it!!

If I can shapeshift..not only could I turn to a guy or girl, I can just turn into 𝑷𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒐𝒔

I AM NOW UNSTOPPABLE!!!

[imhotterthanallofyou]

Something fun I liked to do was turn into a tiny, cute animal, like maybe a rabbit or cat. And then in the deepest voice possible, tell someone I was going to rob them, and no one would believe them. Obviously I would then actually rob them, but not everything they had. Honestly, much more fun to mess with Asgardians than anyone else. They can't stand it when a jotun tricks them.

OR you can also turn into a coffee mug or something. Then when someone tries to pick you up, you shift back and scare them.

[thatwasverypunkr0ckofu]

You're tempting me to try this but turn into a door and slam onto people's face when they are about to walk into a room-

[imhotterthanallofyou]

Try to only hit the people being massive jerks. To make it even better, if someone is being rude, you could say "don't let the door hit you on the way out" and then become the door and hit them on the way out.

[imhotterthanallofyou]

well if I finally got a supportive mom...

𝘗𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢 𝘨𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘣𝘰𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥

Yap time

Is this you?

[thatwasverypunkr0ckofu]

@imhotterthanallofyou

I DONT GET TO YAP A LOT OK!

[imhotterthanallofyou]

YAP AWAY! I'M LISTENING.

INTENTLY.

[thatwasverypunkr0ckofu]

@imhotterthanyou

OK MY YAP TODAY IS.....

HOW THE HELL DO I SHAPESHIFT

IM HAVING A GUY DAY AND IM ANNOYED

[imhotterthanallofyou]

By far the easiest thing to shapeshift into a person shape, so you're in luck.

Imagine the shape you want to transform into. This is the most obvious step. You can be pretty much anything, even an inanimate object. Know all the angles and details.

Imagine the different parts of you changing to match this new form. If you're only changing certain traits, focus on those. If you're worried about not being able to complete the transformation, focus on the most important ones first.

By this point, you should be at least mostly finished, since shapeshifting is really intuitive. It's alright if you can't finish it. If that happens, a mirror or two (two is better) can help you out so you can see the process and know what to change. Then you can continue.

Ta-da! Shapeshifting comes naturally to jotnar and their offspring, but don't worry if you can't get it figured out right away.

[thatwasverypunkr0ckofu]

𝘞𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘰𝘯 𝘢 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘱𝘢𝘥

Ok ok..I think I got it!!

If I can shapeshift..not only could I turn to a guy or girl, I can just turn into 𝑷𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒐𝒔

I AM NOW UNSTOPPABLE!!!

[imhotterthanallofyou]

Something fun I liked to do was turn into a tiny, cute animal, like maybe a rabbit or cat. And then in the deepest voice possible, tell someone I was going to rob them, and no one would believe them. Obviously I would then actually rob them, but not everything they had. Honestly, much more fun to mess with Asgardians than anyone else. They can't stand it when a jotun tricks them.

OR you can also turn into a coffee mug or something. Then when someone tries to pick you up, you shift back and scare them.