This One's For You

I'm just another adult in love with the idea of love. Nothing is mine unless it's tagged as #mine

[random-sweet-things]

Addictions are hard to leave and you are the hardest drug I've done.

I love you, but you don’t feel the same way, do you?

[random-sweet-things]

When I'm with you, I feel like I can let out the breath I've been holding.

[random-sweet-things]

I'm losing myself to you and I love it.

[random-sweet-things]

Your heavy breathing in my ear as I explore every inch of your body sets me on fire.

[random-sweet-things]

You pull something primal out from deep within me that I've never felt before. I get this desire to claim you as mine and leave a trail of visible kisses so everyone else knows it too.

[random-sweet-things]

And when that didn't work, I tore myself apart into indiscriminate pieces of dust just to rebuild myself.

[random-sweet-things]

I said something funny and you smiled before telling me to stop. I'm making you laugh the way he did. And your smile faltered a bit while we both looked away and realized the same thing. "I guess I have a type," you said.

The only problem is you met me before him. You knew me before him. This isn't the first time I've heard it either. I keep thinking the issue is me. I walk away and stop fighting because in my head the problem is me, but what if it's not? That was the last time I saw you.

[themessysideofme]

I never knew ghosts were real until I met you.

[random-sweet-things]

You haunt me to this day. I torture myself every couple years and lie to us telling us we can be friends only to see you slowly disappear again. It's a never-ending cycle.

I see you. We connect. We talk. We hangout. We hangout less. We talk less. We connect less. I see you less. I don't see you. We don't connect. We don't talk. We don't hangout. I see your ghost.

And when I feel that ghost disappearing, I can't stand it. I have to see you again.

[themessysideofme]

No coffee

8pm bedtime

School is hard

Brain is fried

I admire you for all you do. We're still as similar as we used to be. You're still strong enough to push through on your own like you've always been. You never needed me or anyone else, but I feel like you just wanted that support. If we had stayed friends and I hadn't pushed it too far, maybe we both could have been in a better place. Maybe not. I will never know, but it is what it is.

[random-sweet-things]

Every good/bad moment I have/will have, I imagine it with/without you.

[random-sweet-things]

Sometimes I wonder if I'm ever worthy of a good honest love, but then I remember I'm not even a love child.

~ I can only dream of finding it

[random-sweet-things]

“After all these years, you still manage to get inside my head and under my skin.”

— You fuck me up in best of ways.

[random-sweet-things]

You still find me in my dreams no matter how far away I run. I hear your voice clear as day telling me what you think even though I didn’t ask. I hear your snide remarks and your dumb jokes that only we understood. I’ve erased you from everywhere possible, yet it seems like that just made your ghost more present in my life and honestly I’m tired. I’m tired of having to live this stupid double life where I fight you every day.

[random-sweet-things]

Sometimes I'm the one that looks for you. Part of it is my stupid obsession over something that already happened while the other part is my stupid hope for something that will never be.

In the end, the piece that has been missing from my life was never you. It was always me. Now that I've realized this, I don't know how to get myself back without traveling through time. I don't know if I'm better off now or worse off. All I know is that I need to get my shit together.

[random-sweet-things]

I'm sorry for obsessing over you years after our time.

[random-sweet-things]

“After all these years, you still manage to get inside my head and under my skin.”

— You fuck me up in best of ways.

[random-sweet-things]

You still find me in my dreams no matter how far away I run. I hear your voice clear as day telling me what you think even though I didn't ask. I hear your snide remarks and your dumb jokes that only we understood. I've erased you from everywhere possible, yet it seems like that just made your ghost more present in my life and honestly I'm tired. I'm tired of having to live this stupid double life where I fight you every day.

[random-sweet-things]

"I'm drunk and all I can think about is you. "

— I need to know how you feel

[random-sweet-things]

I keep going through these cycles of hope and regret, but there's no way to turn back the clock. I can't go back and fix my mistakes. I can only hope to let go of these regrets one day... no matter how badly I want to reach out to you.

[love]

via weheartit

[random-sweet-things]

I miss what we used to be.