Pleased To Make Your Acquaintance

Hope || 19 || Pan/Ace || Pisces Welcome!! Hope you like utter garbage!!

[teathattast]

[decembersoul]

even the effing pigeon is more responsible than a lot of people out there.

[teathattast]

that's an eagle...

[raccooze]

Im going ballistic thats a fucking seagull.

[zanimez]

me: time for sleepy :)

my garbage body: hot hot hot no cold no HOT bad bad, throw up??? no, hungry, NO remember that mistake you made at work. Internalize it. Never forget. Back hurt yes headache YES hot yes roll over r-RA RA RASPUTIN, RUSSIA’s GREATEST LOVE MACHI-

[bipeterparker]

tumblr was funnier when the reylos were just outright lying all the time

[girlboysanonymous]

i miss this

[insomniac-arrest]

finding out that almost all other animals don’t have periods like we do and instead simply reabsorb the egg back into their uterine lining to reuse the nutrients is like finding out the rest of the class has been taking WILDLY easier tests than you for the whole semester

like, hey, cat why don’t you have to use your Cat Dollars to invest in tampons? And cat is just like: fuck that noise, my body is OPTIMAL for not being made of inconvenient nonsense, sucks to be you

wack.

[insomniac-arrest]

humans: hey, bleeding every month is actually really cumbersome and I lose both valuable nutrients AND fluids I need for survival? What the fuck is up?

evolution: yes, alright, but have you considered this about it? *cartoon blow horn noise* 

[what-even-is-thiss]

Human bodies suck for many reasons including but not limited to:

Periods

Bad backs

Permanent breasts that do not leave once baby is weaned

Dangerously large, unprotected, and non retractable male reproductive systems

Huge brain takes up way too much energy gotta eat more sleep less

Baby brain bigger than hips guess birth is life threatening now

Takes like 25 years for big brain to even finish maturing

[durzio]

•Teeth are critical to living, yet not designed to last more than a few years without constant intervention and upkeep, and don’t grow back if this is not accomplished. Also, losing your teeth means the bones in your ear will shift, and your hearing will worsen.

•Breathing, eating, communication all from the same pathway, major choking hazard. Give me a dolphin style breathing tube.

•Most pleasurable nerve endings on the body locating on the filthiest parts of you, guarenteed spread of bacteria.

•knees and shoulders have almost zero capability to heal correctly, once they break, they’re basically broken forever without massive outside influence.

[larariumluparum]

truer words

[pissvortex]

wildest argument against climate change i’ve ever heard

[groovycolorknightlawyer]

Wаnnа liск Ashley pussy?

[pissvortex]

no thanks

[peniswakt-deactivated20210717]

outta my way gayboy i’m boutta get it

[peniswakt-deactivated20210717]

my identity has been stolen

[letmebegaytodd]

every single social interaction i've ever had has been complete guesswork

[letmebegaytodd]

every time i have a conversation i spend the next 30 minutes after grading myself

[yesterdaysprint]

New-York Tribune, New York, December 17, 1916

[bummass]

Bitch that is a LOOK

[bergaramadejs]

depression vs. anxiety

[honeycorpse-deactivated20121225]

[dangerous-wilds]

now THAT’S what i call BED & BREAKFAST!!!

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[the-movemnt-deactivated20170912]

These difficult conversations are more important than ever. Here’s how to overcome the roadblocks.

follow @the-movemnt

[foremothersfootsteps]

Yes to all and to add one, tone policing. If they can’t think of any other way to dismiss what you are saying, they will critique the way in which you said it. No matter how you said it, they will say you are angry or aggressive. 

[chaoswolf1982]

White folks don’t want silent protests, just silence.

[scripturient-manipulator]

I’m so glad this person put ways to retort against common sayings because I am full of filler words and pauses and not being able to articulate things right and now I have backup words.

[guiltyidealist]

“White folks don’t want silent protests, just silence.”

[lizluvscupcakes]

Truer words.

[notyoursaviour]

La letra con amor, entra. (via)

[succubye01]

DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THOSE BOOKS ARE PUSSYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOOK AT THOSE BOOKS BEING PUSSY;S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW THATS WHAT I CALL “INTELLECTUALLY STIMULATING”…!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS WILL… REALLY MAKE YOU THINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[thehauntedmansion2003]

if this post gets deleted on the 17th I’m going with it

[thehauntedmansion2003]

I’m pleased to announce that after nearly a year since the great tumblr porn ban of ‘18 Those Books Are Pussys has survived the great purge 

[rocksolidsteadycupholders]

IS ANYTHING BETTER THAN PUSSY!?

YES A REALLY GOOD BOOK

[shencomix]

We go forward.

[hold-a-lover-close-blog-deactiv]

This is too deep to comprehend.

[haleepls]

Stop it

[alltheselittlevoices]

I THOUGHT THIS WAS GOING TO BE FUNNY

[hello-nice-to-misha]

:(((((

[hedgehog-moss]

Told my mum to make sure to wear boots when she goes in the woods because I saw a viper the other day, and she said “When I was a kid I used to catch snakes, occasionally a little viper, and tie them around the doorknob of my bedroom so my brothers wouldn’t dare to enter and I’d have some peace.” I was like, didn’t Grandma mind finding venomous snakes hanging from the doorknobs in her house? and she said pensively “Sometimes she threw them out the window. Sometimes she said she didn’t want to interfere in our ‘children’s business’“

[king-monky]

yeah i understand women. they all want daggers and swords. it’s quite simple really

[waco]

imagine stickin ur dick in a freshly poured cup of mcdonalds sprite

[ed-longshanks]

me trying to retain consciousness as my dick sucks up the sprite like a small elephants trunk

[jeekoftheweek]

you can post most anything on tumblr and expect results