Misunderstandings ~ Poly!marauders (J.P, S.B, R.L, P.P) × GN!reader
Idk what this is I'm just bored
Warnings: SH mentions, Depressing thoughts, anxiety, Hurt/comfort, crying, ANGST, kind of mean Sirius, cursing, Non-sexual nudity, sex mentions [basically Sirius is oblivious], Idrk what else
You're in a depressive state and everybody but Sirius seems to notice. Sirius gets annoyed when you don't give him attention before he finally understands and feels horrible [This is based off my personal feelings and how I contain my urges]
You weren't doing so hot. It was clear. Well, it was clear to everybody but Sirius. Your boyfriend, well one or them. It wasn't abnormal for you to feel like this. You often reached depressive states were you get anxious for no reason and start to feel down.
As you sat down for Transfiguration, you started to feel the painful urges. The same urges that have been paining you for years. The urge to cut or harm yourself in anyway possible. The urge feels unbearable but since you're in class you can't go through with the urges.
As you start scratching at you're arm, it feels like your anxiety is just getting worse. Nothing was causing your anxiety, it just happened. You felt your heart drop to the pit in your stomach and suddenly you felt every possible bad thing that could happen, would.
James, who was sitting next to you on your left gently grabbed the arm that was scratching your other arm and held it firmly, "Y/N, darling, you're going to hurt yourself."
You didn't look at him as he held your arm, only starting to bounce your leg as you could no longer scratch your arm. Remus, who was behind you, leaned down to your ear and whispered, "Is this class getting to much for you, my love? We can leave if it is."
Professor Mcgonagall was usually pretty well at reading you, and knew that if you left the class then you needed to. You were a top student and showed up every single day, even when you're sick.
"I'm alright, Remmy." You gave a weak smile to try and calm his worries.
Sirius, who noticed that James was holding your hand, and Peter (who was next to Remus and caught onto what was happening) and Remus were rubbing your back. Getting jealous of the attention, he scowled and turned away.
You were to lost in your mind to notice, and the boys (minus Sirius, of course) noticed and stood up to quietly lead you away.
You started to quietly protest but the boys had enough of it. They led you to their dorm and started to run you a calming bath to help calm you.
Peter, who was just holding you as James and Remus went to get a bath prepared for you, was whispering reassuring words in your ears.
All the boys knew of your self harming habits, and knew that when you were scratching your arms or punching them, you were feeling urges. This of course meant they wouldn't leave you alone.
"My beauty, do you want to take a warm bath? It will help calm you." Peter asked, coercing a nod out of you.
As he was standing you up to start removing your clothes, Sirius burst into the room looking mad.
"What the fuck? Why did you all skip Transfiguration to have sex without me? Am I that fucking awful?" He complained, obviously seeing the half nude you and not realizing what was actually happening.
"Sirius, calm down. That's not what is going on." James tried to reason. You were getting even more anxious now, seeing him mad just scared you.
"Oh really? Then why is Y/N fucking naked and you guys are running a bath?" He argued.
"Sirius, I promise we weren't doing anything." Remus said, not wanting to tell him that you were anxious and feeling urges as it wasn't his place to.
Sirius, who knew you struggled with lying, thought your silence was guilt from being caught, "I know you're lying, Y/N isn't fucking talking because they know I know when they lie. I can see the fucking guilt on their face."
"They aren't lying, sirius." You whispered hoarsely, trying to swallow the lump in your throat. Normally you struggle with crying when you feel you need to, you always find it hard to cry, even when cutting through your skin and deprecating yourself. Though, when one of your boys, or anyone for that matter, is mad at you, the tears start to fall.
"I wasn't- I'm not doing well today, so the boys brought me up here to take a warm bath to calm my anxiety." You whisper, walking into the bathroom and locking yourself in it to finally release the tears and try and calm down before going back in the room.
You hated anyone seeing you cry, it bothered you.
"Beauty, are you alright?" Peter asked against the door, his heart breaking at the sounds of your muffled sobs.
"Yeah, shit. What the fuck Sirius, I know you're bad at reading people but they were showing so many signs. Why do you think we left the class!" James yelled in a hushed tone, so you wouldn't hear him.
"You know Y/N doesn't ever skip class." Remus finished.
"I was just angry and didn't even think." Sirius tried explaining, his heart hurting knowing you were hurting and he made it worse.
After about thirty minutes, you left the bathroom. Peter immediately engulfed you in his arms and whispered praises and little sweet words into your ear trying to comfort you.
Sirius slowly walked towards you, "My love?" You looked up, so he continued, "I'm so fucking sorry. I should have listened before screaming. I was just angry and jealous and felt left out that I reacted rashly. I'm so so so sorry, love."
You quietly and slowly hugged him, "it's alright. I get it, sometimes anger gets the best of us. Next time though, please try to be rational?"
"Yes, oh my god, yes, I will." He muttered hugging you back.
"How about we go take that bath now, yeah?" James asked, recieving a nod from you.
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