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Rejections! Rejections! Rejections
My research paper was rejected from a journal. Our group chat with my friends was screenshoted and shared by someone. Everyone hates me. My past anger and abrupt decisions torments me. Everything si still a mess.
How Silk is Made 🤔
I couldn't move on...
As I reflect on the events that unfolded, I am overcome with regret and struggle to forgive myself for my actions. Our group chat, intended for personal conversations between friends, was seen and screenshotted by someone we all had a strong dislike for. It is important to note that this person was not simply the object of our animosity without cause.
One of our friends was a former friend of this individual and experienced severe bullying during that time. Additionally, another friend of mine was cheated during an exam, with evidence pointing towards the same person. These experiences fueled our strong dislike for this individual, and we often spoke ill of her in our conversations.
However, I understand that our words and actions were hurtful and unacceptable. It became a source of entertainment for us to ridicule and mock this person, which I now realize was cyberbullying. I acknowledge that we were in the wrong, and that our behavior was unacceptable. Unfortunately, our conversation was shared with almost everyone, which has caused us to be perceived as bullies and has negatively impacted our reputation.
I understand that this is a difficult and emotional situation, and I am willing to seek help from a professional if necessary. I am struggling in forgiving myself that I even hate going to school anymore.
I am such a people pleaser so, knowing that I hurted someone and she hates me... Makes me hate myself more. I couldn't sleep even doing the things I love makes me think of the trouble I have caused. I want to stop this feeling. I don't want to say sorry to the person involve, because I still don't like her. I know it is wrong but I just feel like, I don't want to lose myself entirely.
Moving forward, I will strive to be more mindful of my words and actions, and make a conscious effort to treat others with kindness and respect.
3 months from now, I am about to graduate. Yet, I still have a lot of paperworks I still haven't done. Damn
A rise that no one can't afford to stop. 🛑
